Thursday, September 27, 2012
My last blog entry was the beginning of this year. Oh my!! Time flies when you have a husband, a 2 year old, full time school and studying/projects, and household type jobs to do. I have my whole week planned out, including weekends until this time next year. Wow. And now I come back to SP because I need to do some tracking for myself --- and for school!
A big event happened for me today - and that is finding out about a problem I've been having for years, and years - since I was in my late teens. Problems sleeping.
I did a sleep study on September 15 and was desperately hoping for some answers. Well, I got them. The term the doc used was 'psychophysiological insomnia' a.k.a. lack of sleep due to excessive worry. I've always worried more than I should have - but there were times in my life that I've also had reasons (and some excuses) to do all of that worrying. Now, I'm putting a stop to it.
I've been recommended to see a psychiatrist, and a prescription for an eating disorder that prevents me from losing the weight I need to lose - another goal I have been working hard on for the past 10 years, and getting quite frustrated with.
I am ecstatic to have some answers because, quite frankly, these problems are beginning to make huge, negative impacts on my life. I do not have the ideal or natural energy that some people claim to have - I am in my early thirties and feel like I have added on about 20 years or so.
I have plans to call the psychiatrist tomorrow and make an immediate schedule as to calm my anxiety and stressors - and will also be picking up my medicine to relieve myself of the thing in my brain that causes my eating disorder, which only happens at 2-3 a.m. and prevents me from losing weight.
I blog about this because I feel it is a major milestone in my life: I have always promised myself that I would never be obese, never have the troubles of my family members (specifically my mother), never say that I am too big to move or play with my daughter - all of these things which have been pushing me to 'survive' all of these years have pushed me overboard to finally do something about it.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
So I'm at 155lbs and out of shape. I began school yesterday and went to the gym only to figure out that I'm out of shape! I barely made 5 minutes on the Gazelle, didn't make even 1/4 of a mile, and stretching was not as comfortable as it used to be. I'm making myself a plan for Tuesday and Thursday workouts at the gym, then filling the rest of my days with walking on the ranch here at home.
I knew that I let myself go, but getting it back will take a bit of work.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
I am extremely happy to report that I passed my first fall semester at USF!! I wasn't even sure I could be a student since I didn't think I was university material. Being so used to community colleges, I wanted to prove myself, and I did - with 3 Bs and a C!!! I passed one of my most difficult classes the first try, which I am ecstatic about.
Spring term will bring 5 classes and 15 more credits, making me taking about 7 credits in summer and graduating before the end of 2012!!!
My end of August through first week of December were insane. Trying to balance my husband, daughter, school, housework, family and friends was no easy task. I certainly kept busy! While cleaning up at the old apartment and putting things together for the new place, I found myself being pulled in a thousand different directions. Since I have the time and tools to do certain things that my husband does not, I was trying to study as well as pay bills, calendar events and deal with all kinds of things that I was not prepared or in the mood for.
By finals time, I put all of my energy and effort into school, which made me feel guilty for lacking in other areas of spending time with family. My efforts paid off! Unfortunately, there were a lot of things going on at the same time. I began studying hardcore for finals, extra credit assignments and wrapping up loose ends in the beginning of November. We also received an offer we couldn't refuse on an apartment (house) so we began the process of moving. On top of that, my daughter was sick with several things - being in daycare and having kids bring in all kinds of stuff (sickies...) so she had pink eye, bronchitis and hand/foot/mouth disease as well as teething. What a rough month! All of the hard work paid off:
We are in a huge place now, with enough room for all of our things (plus more!), my daughter and kitty have play room, we have room for our activities and we are getting our finances in order. When times are tough, I do not react well when I don't see an end in sight, but make up for those emotions in the end.
With this time off in winter break (Dec 7 - Jan 9) I am getting our house in order so I do not have to worry about a lot of things for Spring; we are working around the ranch (we live on a ranch and see horses every day!) and we are taking it one day at a time. I really wanted to get on Spark every day, work on my body movement every day, and a few other personal things. But, that hasn't gone so well because I haven't put any plans in place. So, I'm going to have my calendar in place with reminders and hopefully some sort of schedule.
To end, I am about 5 lbs overweight (which is absolutely no big deal, I will get back!!!) and knowing that I love my husband, daughter and kitty makes me feel very lucky to have people and things who adore me as I do them.
I also love my SP family as I never worry about losing them (thank you for always being there Lou!!) and it always brings a smile to my face to know that I can look at my blogs and know that you will be there.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
It's been a shorter period of time that I was not on SP, and I'm pleased that I was able to come back so quickly!
I've always remembered SP and my SP family - kept all the updates and emails so I didn't forget the SP love and support! I truly love and appreciate it.
I am a student at USF, taking 14 (out of 15) credits and have 5 classes. I am loving it - I am where I'm supposed to be in life. I've longed to feel this way for most of my life (since late teenage years) and I am truly happy and content. Some tests and times are a bit excrutiating, but for the most part I have school on M, W, F and don't even mind the 1 hour drive from Brooksville to Tampa. I can spend time at school doing my work, I can spend time at home with my baby girl (who is 15 months today!~) and I have time to help my husband with the housework and even began couponing, saving a TON of money in groceries so we can save money for other things. I was able to begin a savings account for my daughter (we already have enrolled in Florida Pre-Paid for her college) so I'm quite happy right now.
I have maintained a weight average of 145 (which is without much exercise) and know that I have to work on maintaining my exercise schedule.
I'm still working out balancing my school work, housework, couponing, and taking care of my family and get some kind of strategy down for workouts at the gym here at USF and home.
I'm happy to be back, and am excited to check in daily to see what I can do!
Saturday, July 30, 2011
As much as I hate to do this, I must take a break from SP. I simply have no time to dedicate anything to SP, and for all of the info I get, I just don't have a spot in my life at the current time to devote...
On an extremely positive few notes: I graduated PHCC with an AA in Liberal Arts on June 20!! This was a major huge accomplishment since it took me since 1997 to complete this..working on it through family, life, moving, and all of the other things -- but I finally did it!!
I also have been accepted to USF for Psychology and begin classes Aug 22. I am psyched!!! Planning my graduation -- will be in a year and a half and I will have my BA!! Doing this makes me realize I can do anything, with time and patience.
About a week or so before my daughter's first birthday, I reached my goal of losing all 55lbs I gained in pregnancy. I can't believe I did it!! I can now fit into my jeans that I wore when my husband and I were planning her :) :) :)
AND ~ My daughter turned 1 on July 26~! I can't explain how happy and blessed I am to have her, I'd write blogs on all of this, but again, time is a factor.
May god bless each and every one of you for supporting, visiting and thinking of me. I am blessed to have all of you in my life and wish you well.
When I have things established and a routine, I will love to come back and interact. For now, duty calls and I must cease my SP online life.
I plan on keeping the essential resources and tools so when I do come back to Spark, I will come with a running start.
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