Thursday, December 18, 2014
Someone called me "perverse" yesterday; I've been called this before.
Mr. Dictionary defines it as:
1. (of a person or their actions) showing a deliberate and obstinate desire to behave in a way that is unreasonable or unacceptable, often in spite of the consequences.
2. contrary to the accepted or expected standard or practice.
3. Law: (of a verdict) against the weight of evidence or the direction of the judge on a point of law.
I disagree with this; while I will admit that I notice things that other people tend to miss, I find value in things that other people dismiss, and I do have a penchant for macabre and surreal, I am not this way because I try. It comes naturally. To call me "perverse" suggests that I set out to be an oddball, and that's just not right.
There are other words better suited to describe me, I think:
WELTSCHMERZ (n) : sentimental pessimism. A mental state caused by comparison of the actual state of the world with an ideal state.
SANGFROID (n): self-possession or imperturbability, especially under strain.
ELDRITCH (adjective): weird, scary, spooky.
Also callipgyian, but I'll leave you to look that one up for yourself.
I use beldame as an online user name because it was in the thesaurus under "witchy", and I was feeling particularly witchy that day. However, it actually means "ugly old hag." Ha, ha! Whoops. By the time I figured that out I was already using it in multiple places, and decided just to OWN it.