Thursday, October 17, 2013
So it's been over a year since I last updated. At the time, I had lost 20 pounds. I gained 12 back. I don't know what happened, besides stress and a loss of focus. Oh, and how easy it was to slip back into my old habits.
The stupidest excuse was that my iPhone Spark app got messed up, deleted. I refused to pay the $5 (since I believe when I originally downloaded it, it was free) to get it back on my phone. I still have it on my iPad... but an excuse is an excuse.
Speaking of excuses, J bought me a FitBit last Christmas and I wear it daily. I synced it to Spark and... wow. It helped mess me up instead of inspiring me. Because FitBit counts activity different than SP, so suddenly I have all these exercise minutes for basically doing nothing.
I've gained weight back. I know I can't keep doing this. I know I can lose the weight. I know how. I just have to remind myself that it's okay to lose the weight, that it's okay to make a different meal. J is still out of work (5 years now) and we're getting by. But the emotional toll is huge and I'm tired.
Rambling post, but I'm going to try to get back on track.
Thursday, September 20, 2012
I haven't advertised that I'm changing my lifestyle to a healthy one. One of the reasons is that my department consists of three guys and me. It's not like I'm going to talk about it. As for the rest of my coworkers, I don't really chat with them. With the travel required plus my own securities, I am quiet in what I do.
A coworker whom I have a great rapport with but travels extensively was in the office the other day.
He looks right at me and says loudly, "Sweetheart, you look great. You've lost some weight, eh?"
I blush. I stammer. I finally say, "Yeah."
Because I've shed 20 pounds and no one else in the office has noticed. Oh, a few have seen me bringing my lunch more frequently (almost every day) and commented. But no one has said, "Wow, you've lost some weight." Then again, I see them daily.
I know that I have trouble accepting success. I have trouble accepting compliments. That goes to the whole "insecure thing." Before, I would have taken that positive compliment as permission to splurge.
This time, I didn't.
This time, I looked in the mirror and acknowledged that I look better and I feel better.
I'm a work in progress.
But I'm worth it.
And maybe someday, I'll be able to accept that "you look great!" comment without feeling self-conscious.
Tuesday, September 04, 2012
The lunch of awesomeness (okay, the one within my self-prescribed limits for the day) remains in the fridge. I was going to eat it, promise, but then I began assembling it.
Roast chicken. My allotted, my mustard aoili. My high fiber wrap with a whole tomato and a white peach for dessert.
I took one bite and ... oh. I SO could not eat this.
I know we all have days like this, when our carefully packed whatever turns into a thing of scorn.
If not, I envy you. Feel lucky.
For me, it was the ongoing semi-theme of "You can't be successful eating out" that spurred a trip to Aladdin's Eatery for a taste of Mediterranean flavors. Oh, there were so many things I could have indulged in.
I didn't. I also didn't order the salad. Instead, it was the tuna shwarma with no dressing. I got the flavors with the reduced fat. Was it the "best choice" ... for me, yes. For others, not so much. But I adapted my dinner choices to fit in with my lunch choice and, well ...
Yes, I was still over calories for the day but it was satisfying and I know that THIS is a restaurant I can work into my daily routine.
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Well. My plan today was to do 1.6 miles with Candice Dog. It didn't happen. Partway through the first quarter of the walk, when we have our 12 year old pup Kira with us, the arches in my feet began to cramp up. I don't know if anyone else has had the distinct pleasure of this phenomenon, but when it hits me ....
Yeah. So the walk was cut down to 0.6 miles but I did walk.
Now, I have custom inserts for my shoes and I did used to visit a podiatrist on a regular basis. Three years ago, I had surgery on my left foot to help with plantar fasciitis and fallen arches. Let's just say the surgery didn't go as well as it should (as in two re-ops). I haven't been back to my podiatrist after he cleared me after the third surgery. There's nothing anyone can really do. It's just the way it is.
Interestingly enough, this is the first time in months that my foot flared up to the point of me stopping. When I travel for work, I'm hauling suitcases and whatnot through airports, hotels and convention centers. The difference between those places and my walks with my dogs is that my neighborhood has steep inclines, which I'm sure factor in to the foot cramps.
So, I'm back to the exercises I discarded two years ago. Here's hoping that my endurance increases and that foot pain will become a thing of the past.
Now, I just have to save up the $$ to get a new pair of walking shoes.
Monday, August 27, 2012
Nah. It isn't. It's just stuck.
No wait. That's me.
For the past three weeks, I've hit the same weight. "A plateau so early?" I thought to myself as I seriously debated skipping logging my weight today in favor of (hopefully) a more favorable weigh-in tomorrow. Heck, I even broke out the tape measure to see if my weight has just 'adjusted' somewhere else. Nope.
Yes, I pouted as I logged my weight, because this week, I made the effort to get back on track. I only had one day that was stupidly high. When I ate out, I did my best to make a good choice and for the most part, I did. Heck, I even increased mileage for dog walking from 0.6 miles to 1.2 miles in my very hilly neighborhood.
So, something's going on. What really changed? What put me off track?
1) "Why, hello there, sodium! I've been ignoring you, haven't I? Well, my apologies." Admittedly, I don't pay much attention to my sodium intake. The salt shaker is a staple and while I'll read labels for calories, protein, fat and fiber, I routinely skip the sodium content. Low sodium versions of my staples, such as V8, taste awful to me.
GOAL #1: PAY ATTENTION TO SODIUM. I won't change my intake overnight, but being more aware should make me pause before I reach for the salt shaker. It's unlikely I'll give up my morning high fiber V8, but I can make other changes.
2) "How many fruits and veggies am I supposed to have per day, again?" I was doing decent with at least four per day, but then it dramatically dropped off. I would bring an apple as part of my lunch and then stare at it, not wanting to eat it at all. So I tried bringing a peach. Then nectarines. Canned pineapple. Nope. I'd take one look and then lose my appetite. Weird. But the items in the vending machine look mighty tasty...
GOAL #2: SAVE THE WHOLE FRUIT FOR A POST-DINNER TREAT. Maybe I'm having flashbacks to when I was in grade school and I always had a piece of fruit packed in my lunch (usually Red Delicious apples, which I never buy because my grocery carries a great variety).
3) "Hi, honey! You've made dinner. Thank you! Oh, look! It's a carnivore's delight!" My SO's evening classes ended in July, so now he's home. He's still job hunting (sadly, no luck yet) so he's home all day. I put in a 10-hour day at work and it's nice to come home to a meal. SO doesn't really cook; he sticks with the staples of meat plus starch plus starch (he tried some recipes with not so great results). When he had class, I would stop by the grocery on the way home and pick up fish or other dinner items. SO doesn't eat fish, doesn't really care for chicken unless it's deep fried, and is lukewarm towards pork. While SO enjoys snow crab and shrimp, those are very expensive proteins. As for a veg? Maybe a salad. He belongs to the "vegetables are something my dinner eats" club.
GOAL #3: TAKE BACK THE KITCHEN. He can do the dishes. On those nights when I'm just too tired? What's so hard about nuking a bag of frozen veggies? Or opening a can of green beans? (Oh, hi there sodium. I know. But hey, low sodium canned veggies are not tasty IMHO).
4) "Oh, you want to be introduced to the elephant in the corner? Well, that's Fiber." Let's get a few things out of the way here. I'm not a fan of brown rice. I've made it several different ways but still, not a fan. Putting in a 40 minute effort (I don't have a rice cooker and instant rice is too expensive) for something I'm "meh" on isn't worth my time. Whole wheat pasta? Er. Not a fan. I don't eat pasta all that much (maybe once every 2 weeks, if that) so it's not really a staple. What about Quinoa, beans, lentils and other alternatives? Er ... um ... still trying to get on that fast moving bandwagon (it would help if I tried to flag it down ...). There are always supplements, but they are expensive and I can't justify the extra $ when $ is still so tight.
The changes I have made: high-fiber, low-carb tortillas instead of bread. High-fiber V8 (hi, sodium!). Protein bars with more fiber. I found that if I hit two of the three, I have a shot at making my minimum fiber intake.
GOAL #4: MAKE ONE DISH PER WEEK WITH QUINOA, BEANS, OR LENTILS. Even if Mister Carnivore won't touch it, I can experiment a bit to find a recipe I like.
5) "It's that time again..." Not to get too descriptively personal, but my monthly cycle is all over the place. Stress does that to me. It always has. Am I under stress? Oh, let me count the ways. (It's a resounding YES! by the way.) My cycle can't make up it's mind, which is why ... egads ... I have an app for that. And yes ... per my app, it's supposed to be "that time" this week. I've traditionally always either gained weight or stayed the same.
GOAL #5: IT'S A LEGITIMATE REASON, DON'T LET IT BE A CRUTCH.
GOAL #6: KEEP THE LONG EVENING WALKS. Mister Carnivore has to cut it short because of our older dog, Kira. She wears out quickly on the steep inclines in our neighborhood (we live at the apex, so no matter what route we take, we're always walking uphill at the end of the walk). However, our younger pup Candice will happily walk with me without a problem. I'm the one who wears out ... but it's all about endurance, right?
Let's see how these new goals work out...
(PS, I'm on "Stay-cation" this week to try and regain my focus.)
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