Tuesday, November 19, 2013
There are levels of fatness. There is that level of ignorance where you just didn't know. I remember eating taco salads from Taco Bell, bags of chips and cans of Pringles, burritos, any value meal... I just didn't know at that time all that was in those foods. They were just foods. I guess you could say it was a simpler time when food was food and not fat/calories. Decisions were based on taste alone.
Then there is the awakening. When you figure out what is really in these foods and find out how many calories you are supposed to eat a day and realize you are double, triple, quadrupling, etc what reasonable daily calorie consumption should be. That is when you try to diet. Most of the time you haven't the slightly clue what you are doing so you go for the low fat options not knowing at the time that you aren't helping yourself.
Then you may come to the point where you actually have an understanding. Nutrition and fitness make sense. You get to a routine, you get a groove, you are losing weight. YAY, I am down and I am staying down... well not really...
Because that is when get complacent, bored, lose our mojo... so we convince ourselves that we are maintaining and that even though we have more to lose, we are happy here.
But following this stage is where things get ugly... then comes the gaining back. It creeps back on just a little at at time, not by too much so we can continue to tell ourselves "oh its only 5lbs..." TIMES 10!!!!
So you try to get back going, FED UP, but for some reason you just can't get that groove back you had before. Things aren't the same. You don't want to weigh foods. You don't want to track. You don't want to put on work out clothes that seems so much harder to get on now that you gained 50lbs back.
And there you teeter... for months, maybe even a year or more.
So what then? What do you do when you are forced to buy clothing in sizes you long since gave away. When your jeans aren't just tight , they clearly do not fit at all anymore. What then?
Most people let out an "I AM DONE!" cry and go all in. But here is my problem, all-in is where I fail. When I am all-in, I lose focus on everything else in life. I am either strict or loose. So maybe I am scared to claim "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH" again, because I don't want to become obsessed with every crumb of food. But here's the deal, avoiding the issue isn't going to make me lose weight. The fat is still here and the fat is multiplying.
So what now? What do you do when you know you can't continue on as you are, but don't really want to go down the other road?
I know I have an obligation as a wife and a mother to be the best that I can be. Right now, I am barely skating by.
So it is time.... Time for what? I don't know the plan, but I know something has to happen because sitting back getting fat isn't the life I envisioned.
So back to tracking. I am going to keep it simple, so not too many ingredient dishes so I don't make myself a lunatic trying to track a salad. I know Spark works. I know if I eat in range and exercise, I lose weight. So its time to get back to doing what works.
Friday, September 13, 2013
One long unused treadmill from the back porch
Two Yoga Blocks
I have an ebay store and I sit and sit in front of my computer all day. I for see 3-5 miles a day coming out of this new equipement. I am so super excited! I am walking on it right now while I type this blog. It isn't permanent. I can move the keyboard, monitor, and mouse back to the desk sitting beyond the desk.
Friday, August 09, 2013
Have I ever told you guys I love tiny bowls? I am sure I have but you may be new and not know, so here it is...
I tiny bowls
I have tiny spoons and forks I got at World Market also that go perfectly with them.
I don't know what these little bowls are called, but they measure out about 1 cup servings.
So I have been realizing that my body doesn't give a timely satiety signal after I eat. Experts say it takes 20 minutes for the ghrelins in your stomach to calm down and stop sending "FEED ME NOW" signals to your brain so you feel full. Well just by accident last week I was actually eating in moderation, nothing heavy just regular portion sizes and I noticed that about an hour after I ate I had the thought "oh I must have ate more than I thought, I am pretty full." or I thought "Wow, that was more filling than it looked." This happened for three days in a row before it clicked that my satiety signals could possibly be slower than they are supposed to be. This revelation was really eye opening. This problem could be the reason I have spent my entire life overweight, why I could eat and eat and eat and not understand why I wasn't satisfied; I could always eat more.
Armed with this new information, I have started looking up satiety signals and how to trigger them. Some experts say you can eat (I am sure some of you have heard this before) about 70 calories of healthy fat protein about 20 minutes before your meal. It is says it takes about 65 calories for protein and/or healthy fat to calm the ghrelins. So later I am going to pick up some healthy fat protein like almonds and portion them out for before meal ghrelin stoppers.
I did an experiment today for lunch. I had some leftover stir fry I made last night as a low cal meal (I only had 200 calories to work with, so I ate half and some multigrain chips). I combined the leftovers with a Lightlife Sesame Ch'k meal and thought "Yay, a 340 cal lunch with a huge portion size". Instead of eating that, I decided to play on the new knowledge I had about my slow satiety signals. I took one of my tiny bowls and filled it with my creation and 1/3 oz of chips. I decided instead of eating my entire meal in one sitting, I would split it into thirds.
At 12:45 I started my first 1/3 portion of lunch.
Then I messed around on the computer and around 1:40 I decided I wanted some more lunch so I got my second 1/3 portion and gobbled it up
So now at 2:10 I feel fine. I feel satisfied. I don't feel hungry. I still have a 1/3 portion but I don't want it. I'll probably eat it in another hour or so as a snack.
So instead of eating all my food at one time. I only ended up eating 2/3 and instead of having a snack, I'll just end up eating my last 1/3. Normally I would have ate my whole lunch and then in about 45 more minutes from now I would have wanted a snack. This is pretty exciting findings for me.
This experiment has shown me that my body in fact does have a huge delay in signaling my satiety.
I would love to hear if any of you find the same results from the same type of experiment. Take a normal meal and split it up and eat one portion at a time. It would be interesting to see if you get the same slow signal I do.
** UPDATE- I got legitimately hungry at 4:10 and ate my third 1/3. I really feel like I am onto something here.
Thursday, August 08, 2013
Over the past two and half years I have talked about "The Click". The click is something that ignites in you and all of a sudden all of the failed attempts, half hearted days, on and off again behavior stops and something just clicks. You click into gear. After sitting idle for too long or even going in reverse, all of a sudden it clicks and you are moving forward.
Yesterday, it clicked!
I have been so frustrated over the past two years with not being able to get back into the groove of things. I had 5 months of success in 2011 and then blump... I stalled. Then slowly I gained.
You would think it would have been harder on me to step on the scale and see 295.
I was 253. I was "this close" to getting over the 250 hump and I fizzled out.
Yesterday, was something new for me.
For the past two years I have thought at one time or another "I need to get going again" and then I would make a half hearted attempt at succeeding, only to throw in the towel whenever temptation came my way.
Something clicked out of the blue yesterday morning. I had no plans. I had made no "I am starting_____ Wednesday August 7th". Who makes a plan to start anything on a Wednesday or on just some random numbered day? Not me, not anyone I know. Not until yesterday. I woke up and at 9am I decided I was going to put on my running clothes and go. I downloaded Suze's Couch to 5K podcast for week one again (its been a really long time since I used it, it had long been deleted), plugged in my headphones, and set out with my daughter on her bike.
I have to admit, the re-first day of Couch to 5k was tough but not so tough that I thought I wouldn't make it. I had already been down this road, I had already been here many times before and I know what comes at the end of this road... SUCCESS. I didn't wallow in the fact that I had let myself get back to the point where it was hard for me to slow jog 1 minute intervals. I was optimistic. It is like knowing the end of the movie. I know I can finish and I know only improvement lies ahead.
In the past I hated to track. I hated it because I felt obsessed. I planned my snacks and dinner before I had even finished my morning coffee. Ever last pieces of food. I knew all the numbers and if I had even 40 calories left in my day, I would find a way to max it out. Tracking made me crazy and I couldn't do anything else beside focus only on food, whether it was about something I was supposed to eat or focusing on the foods I wasn't supposed to eat.
Yesterday, was different. Yesterday was natural. There was nothing forced about my eating. I planned nothing. I didn't deprive myself. I didn't obsess. I didn't focus in on anything other than natural eating. I ate when I was actually hungry and didn't think about food at any other time of the day. (well wait, there was at 9pm when my hubby came out the store with chips and my taste buds said "EAT THEM", but I recognized that I wasn't hungry and I let the urge pass. I didn't think about them; I moved on mentally. It was glorious) I pray to God that this is the way I continue. I loved it. It was amazing to just eat naturally, not obsess, and have the numbers come out perfectly. In my brain is the memory of healthy eating and it just came back naturally yesterday. I feel so much that God is answering my prayers that I have been praying the past two years. (if you go back in my blogs to this time in 2011, my world was falling apart around me and my weight started going back up... boy have things changed. Praise Jesus)
All of this is just amazing to me. I am so glad to be back with Spark. I am so glad the Spark App has so greatly improved (making my life so much easier than the last time I was tracking with the old free app). I am so glad to have my spark back, really. Mostly I am glad this came unplanned. Life's best surprises come unannounced.
Day 1 was a resounding success and Day 2 has already started out great!
I absolutely LOVE the new "calorie differential" report on the Spark App. YAYAYAYA!
Tuesday, June 04, 2013
Last Sunday at church we had a guest speaker Grant Thomson from Hillsong Church in Australia. (service can be viewed here celebrationchurchtx.com/media/sermon
Sometimes you get to a service and you feel like it was written just for you, like noone else is in the audience. The message was about putting off the old, and putting on the new. In there, Grant made a statement about changing our thought patterns. That sometimes when he is having a bad thought process he would actually say "In Jesus name I reject you". Now I know this concept may sound silly, but I have been using this for the past two days and I can say IT WORKS! Now if you aren't a believer, this goes for you also, this is about changing the way we think about things; stopping our negative or unfruitful thoughts right in their tracks before they start to take hold. Even just bringing the idea that these thoughts are not helpful and need to stop and be replaced by something else, can be quite eye opening. This past two days of rejecting negative thoughts has been quite a learning process for me, but I know I feel so much more peaceful and sound. I find comfort in knowing each time I halt a negative thought process, I will get better. I know that each day will bring me closer to a time when my thought process has changed completely.
Not only have I been rejecting negative thoughts and stopping them in their tracks. I have been doing the same thing with temptations. I don't need to stop at Krispy Kreme just because the "HOT" light is on (I don't even have a sweet tooth but something about that hot light brings you in). I don't need to drink a few beers just because its Friday. I can have the thought and BOOM... REJECTED!
Over the years I have learned that if you think about anything for too long (regardless of how bad for you), you will find the rationale, the logic, the reason to go ahead and do it anyway. When you think for too long, there is always an excuse to let you slide just that one time (or two or ten). This also works with negative thinking. If you think for too long about negative things, maybe something from your past or a regret (or many regrets), you will lose your light. Negative thought processes eat away at your strength, your drive, your spark, like rust on metal. Rust eats away slowly, at first hardly even noticeable, until it devours the entire piece of what was once strong metal, leaving it crumbled and decayed... just a big pile of broken dreams.
I let myself bring myself down. I let myself slowly eat away at my hopes and dreams and aspirations until I felt trapped, spiralling out of control. At first I was drowning in regrets. I had lost 80 lbs. I was feeling great, making progress and then I let it all go. Slowly falling back. You turn around and two years has passed and you have done nothing but lose ground.
Well that was the old. Every day my goal is to move further and further away from the old process. Even on days when it rears its ugly head, I will make a u-turn and get right back in with the new.
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