BEECHNUT13   35,640
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A Week of Accomplishments

Monday, April 12, 2010

These are my accomplishments from last week:

1)Met fastbreak goals 100% 5 out of 7 days.
2) Ate at least 2 fruits and veggies per day.
3) Did 10 minutes of exercise every day.
4) Gave myself a pep talk 5 out of 7 days.
5) Earned over 175 Sparkpoints (197).
6) Tracked food every day.
7) Wrote four days this week - approximately 9 pages.
8) Drank 5 cups of water 5 out of 7 days. Best yet!
9) Finished and hung my vision collages.
10) Made rewards for 1 week and 28 day goals.
11) Tracked when/where/mood while I eat 5 days.
12) Noted my trigger foods - chocolate and pizza. That's not rocket science!
13) Found my pedometer and the battery - the battery is dead.
14) Wrote the regression lecture and homework assignment.
15) Updated my curriculum vita for annual review.
16) Planned my meals in the morning 3 days.
17) Tried a new recipe - flounder.
18) Tried new workouts.
19) Talked to Airin about feelings - which is scary sometimes.
20) Re-read the Sparkdiet chapter.

I've lost 20 lbs since the new year! Woohooooo!!!

Next week's goals:
Action steps -
1) Take healthy lifestyle pledge (already did and hung it up).
2) Adopt top nutrition secrets of success.
-- 3 fruits and veggies per day (book says 5 but I'm working up - I might do that anyway)
--Drink water - 6 cups/day (book says 8, but I'm really working up on this)
--Track daily - I do this already
--Exercise 10 minutes per day
3) Sleep 7-9 hours per night

Reward for perfect 5/7 days - Still haven't figured that out...

Other goals:
1) Write 5 days
2) Compile info from where/when/mood when I eat. I have it all stapled together, now to analyze...
3) Sign up for 5k training class - doing that tomorrow!
4) 5 minute pep talk at least 5 days - I think it's helpful.
5) Plan meals in A.M. - on days I plan I do better.
6) Stay within calorie range 6 out of 7 days.
7) Earn 175 Sparkpoints.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BEECHNUT13 4/14/2010 7:50AM

    I do feel better! My clothes are getting looser, and my pre-pregnancy clothes sort of kind of go on, but I look stuffed in there. I'm getting closer though! And I definitely feel less chubby.

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MEADSBAY 4/13/2010 10:20PM

What a great week you had!
Not easy, I know, but terrific job, Sparky!
20 pounds is very impressive- you must feel so much better.

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BEECHNUT13 4/13/2010 10:12PM

    What is this movie? Did Airin go to a movie without me noticing? I know he watches lots of movies after I've turned in for the night.

I've decided that my reward will be a car wash and detailing. I'll have to do it, but I've been wanting to do it, and it's so rewarding to have a nice clean car. :)

For the 20lb weight loss, I'm getting a good bra. Not a nursing bra, but the kind that lifts and separates! Hahaha

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JAYNINNE 4/13/2010 10:00AM

    I love your goals and that you list your accomplishments each week. You're doing an amazing job and kudos on the 20 pounds lost! That's a MAJOR accomplishment!

Reward for perfect 5/7 days? Maybe some Avery time without the other boys? Apparently Airin is able to take time off to go see a movie. You should be able to take time off too to do something you enjoy that doesn't involve work of any sort.

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Wednesday, April 07, 2010

So, I have just stopped working for the day... I've worked all day straight. I got up at 7:30 to start work, stopped to feed Avery, got back to work, got dressed to leave for work at 1:00, drove to work, worked some more, taught a class, drove home and worked while I ate dinner, stopped to feed Avery and exercise for 10 minutes, and then worked till about 10 minutes ago - 11:30. I worked 17 hours today.

I'm exhausted.

My husband, who is not working, was cranky because Avery was crying a lot today, and so he left to take an Avery break and get a movie. After he got back, I noticed that the cabinet doors weren't straight. It turns out that my husband got angry because Avery was screaming and slammed the cabinet door.

I couldn't understand how he could be stressed out - Avery is a good baby, who hardly ever fusses unless he is hungry, tired, or you've ignored him for about an hour straight.

My husband said he gets mad at Avery all the time, and that he doesn't like babies.

THAT JERK! He gets to stay home with my baby - who I WANT TO STAY HOME WITH - and doesn't even enjoy it. I work all day from the time I wake up till the time I pass out from exhaustion and I would love love love love love to spend more time with my baby. It kills me that I'm missing so much time with him.

I'm working 3 part time teaching jobs - the pay really sucks - and working on quals. I'm working so much because I'm the ONLY ONE working. I'm supporting my family on pennies, but I'm doing the best I can.

On top of that, I'm working my a$$ off trying to get fit - I track my food, exercise. And I'm also working hard on becoming a better person by being nicer to my family, even when I'm so stressed out I want to eat glass.

And he has the audacity to be angry that my baby cries???

What a douche. >:-/

He said that Megan (his ex) treated Halen like an inconvenience. She didn't want to be bothered with him. It turns out he's the pot calling the kettle black.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BEECHNUT13 4/12/2010 10:28PM

    I didn't know about a movie.... ?

Airin was really frustrated from Avery being extra cranky, and Avery was extra cranky because he was cutting teeth... and really, when Avery gets really cranky I get frustrated with him too.

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JAYNINNE 4/11/2010 3:17PM

    *sigh* I'm sorry Pal.

Did he at least take Halen to the movie with him?

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BEECHNUT13 4/8/2010 9:49AM

    No... I'm a part time adjunct faculty... in psychology... the don't care about my mental health! This is par for the course for graduate school - or so they say - work really hard for a few years to prove yourself worthy.

I am near family, and we don't want them to know he's not working.

Don't worry - for the most part I am happy, but I write in my blog to destress and vent. Visiting the in-laws is stressful, coming to terms with the ex is stressful, and we're all sort of stressed out here because I'm working so hard to finish my paper and these three classes... I WON'T be doing that again!

Even if Airin works, the job market here is really crappy. He could get a job working part time, and then the cost of child care would completely eat that up. So he might as well stay home and work a little here and there for the time being. He is supposed to start up his own business delivering groceries to the immobile and elderly, but he's been helping out more at home and so that hasn't started up.

It's going to have to start up soon though, because I'm not doing this anymore!

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MEADSBAY 4/8/2010 8:28AM

    Are you near family?
Why isn't he working?
Things have got to change.
There must be another way.
I'm worried about you.
and Avery.
You were right when you said you will never get this time with your baby back.
Do you have health insurance?
Can you take a mental health leave?
I feel like your mother.
I wish I could help.

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I am Crazy, and So Am I!

Sunday, April 04, 2010

Well... I'm leaving Ohio tomorrow morning, and it's back to my regular life in Detroit. Back to teaching 3 classes, working on quals, eating healthy, etc... I'm sad because I enjoyed taking it easy for a few days. I'm excited because... well, let's be honest, there's too much GOD BLESSED food here! Holy crap, there was brunch this morning at my in-laws church, followed with lamb and buttery sugary squash and buttery cheesy potatoes, and buttery rolls. And then there was some Doritos that taste like CHEESEBURGERS (what a train wreck - kind of nasty, but you can't stop yourself from tasting it again and again), and then PIZZA with the pepperoni's. Oh, and the Easter baskets? Yea, we have those too. Anyhoo... enough about the F-ing food already...

I really enjoyed spending time with my baby. I miss him so much. I hate that I work all day and hardly get to spend any time just me and him hanging out and not doing anything. I miss feeding him and then cuddling him, or letting him nap in my arms. I miss playing games with him, tickling his feet, watching his beautiful face. I miss my baby so much. I hate work. I hate everything, I just want to hang out with my baby. And he's 9 months old now. NINE MONTHS. I've wasted so much of it doing things I hate. What a waste; I'll never get that time back. Two weeks after I had him, I was working on finishing my master's degree. What kind of break was that?

Anyway... the semester is almost over. I have to have quals done by the end of the month. And then I AM GOING TO SPEND TIME WITH AVERY. F-YOU Darth Vader, and F-you advisor that never e-mails me back, and F-YOU students who have to take make-up exams because their grandmothers die every F-ING semester. F-YOU F-YOU F-YOU!!!!!!! My baby is more important. You can all take the back seat this time.

I'm so sick of running around, trying to do everything, be everything for everybody. I can't do it anymore. I don't even give a SH*T about psychology anymore, I swear. I just want to be done so I can work and save up money to retire and relax., I don't care anymore about anything. I'll never be what everyone wants me to be.

So what do I want to be then?

I want to be Mommy, I want to be a hot vixen wife. I want to be comfortable and happy with my family. I want to teach, but I don't want to be miserable any more. Those were my goals... I wrote them out a few weeks ago. I'm trying so hard to stick to them, keep them in focus, but then things beg for my attention, and it's so hard to keep them in my mind.

I had hope a few weeks ago, and I felt in control. I wrote down my lists of goals, my motivation, my focus. And Darth Vader ripped into it. I'm so upset by that still... (if anyone is actually reading this, and you're confused, look at the earlier blog titled "My Fight with Darth Vader."). I still haven't talked to my adviser about what I thought about that meeting. I think it was BULL SH*T, by the way.

I've also been thinking about my husband's ex-wife a lot, since I'm here, and there are pictures of her here. It's sick, but I find them and I can't ignore them. It's like eating those nasty Cheeseburger Doritos... soooo bad, but can't look away. My husband doesn't want to look at her, he doesn't want to talk about her, he doesn't think about her (according to him). But I do. WHY? Why am I so crazy?

Well... in a lot of ways, she was those things I wanted to be but was not. Tiny and thin (110 lbs thin), pretty, dangerous, with Airin, etc... I met her and I felt like I could never have a chance with Airin. She was so pretty. It was over 10 years ago and I admired her then.

We went to a Cradle of Filth show. I didn't like them then. For some reason, I only started to like them when I was pregnant. Some women crave weird food; I craved weird music. Anyway, I met her that day. I drove to Ohio to visit Airin for a week in the summer of 1999. He wanted to see COF at some venue in Cleveland, and so we went to Megan's house (that's the ex) to get all gothed up. His parents are very conservative Christians, so there was no way he could dress up at home.

She was gorgeous. Long, curly chestnut hair, glowing skin, perfect body. She was wearing a long flowing skirt with this lingerie looking top that had a sheer stomach... it was empire waste. She's one of those girls where you can see their collar bones. I think I have some. And she had a nice stomach - not concave or anything, but a teeny waste.

I borrowed Airin's Switchblade Symphony t-shirt and wore my not as cool long flowing skirt, and I had sandals. Goths don't wear sandals! I felt awkward. Then the entire night I felt sick. I sat in the back of the venue and slept on some stairs or something.

Later that week we hung out with her a few more times. I go to visit Airin for a week, and end up spending a week watching him with this girl that was so much prettier than me. Yes, he was happy to have me there, but he also wanted to spend all this time with Megan. And I felt so awkward and fat and ugly even then. I was smaller than I am now...

After I went back home, I e-mailed him and told him that I didn't trust her or something. She was into paganism or witchcraft or something, and I was a Christian, so I told Airin that he shouldn't be with her (stupid now, looking back, that was the only excuse I could come up with...). He told me to "mind my own F-ing business." or something to that effect. It was the first time he ever talked to me like that. He had his pretty little prize, and he didn't want to hear what I had to say.

So... we drifted apart for awhile, and then about 8 months later, Airin finally called me to wish me a happy birthday. "Are you sitting down?" "yes" but I wasn't. "Megan's pregnant!" I sat down then. Guess I f'ed that one up.

When Halen was 6 months old, in April 2001, I went to visit the happy family. Megan and Airin got married the day Megan's water broke, the day before Halen was born. She was still gorgeous, but they were miserable. Airin wanted a divorce. Megan slept all the time. They always argued. They even got into huge screaming fights while I was there - and really, who has huge screaming arguments where things get thrown when company is over!?

Within a few months, they separated. But she was always a part of his life, for years, because of Halen. And Airin still held a candle for her for a long time, I think. There were things he should have thrown away long ago that he held onto, because - well, you hope things will work out. And of course he'd hope with her...

Where was I during this time? Well.... finishing college, I had a long-term relationship with someone else, I got really fat, etc... but I always thought of Airin, every day. And I wondered how he was doing. I had always wanted to marry him, from the time I was 14. But I was never good enough.

I started talking to Airin again in June 2005. Megan was in and out... they hadn't seen her since Christmas of 2004. Halen called me "Mommy" the day he met me again. He knew I wasn't but I think it was wishful thinking, I don't know. It was weird. Airin was talking to her in August though, and she wanted to start visiting and go to the park and things.. as Airin said, "Like a real family."

I think that was the first time I said "That's bull crap."

The second time was when she wanted Airin to drive Halen to PA for his 5th birthday. Airin would have done it too, but I said "That's bull crap. If she wants to see him, she can pick him up or come here." She ended up not doing anything for Halen's birthday. She called him on his birthday, and he didn't want to talk to her. She started crying, and then no one heard from her till February, 2007.

For the first time, Airin realized he didn't have to chase her around trying to twist her arm into spending time with her son.

And he started to realize he had me. And what it was like to have someone that drove from Detroit to Ohio as often as she could to visit. And call. And send letters. I had to earn his love, and it was hard work.

Of course, this comes across like I drove a wedge between Halen and Megan... but she was in and out of their lives. She would try to be interested for a little while, and visit Halen... but then she would cancel out and stop showing up for months at a time. And when she was gone for 10 months, and then gone again for another 15 months... Airin was done. It wasn't fair to Halen to have her reject him over and over again. I just told him to stop going out of his way for her, and that if she wanted to be part of Halen's life that she should man up and do it.

And that's why she hasn't seen them since Christmas 2004. Because she hasn't bothered to try.

Wow... what a long blog... what a load off...

Anyway... the point here is that she was always what I wasn't, and then she was what I never wanted to be anyway... all rolled into one. And I can't tear myself away from comparing myself to her. I want to be thin. I want to be gorgeous. I want to have that way about me. And I always feel like I could never have it, and I beat myself up. I don't see a picture of her and say "I can look like that!" I look and say "She's so perfect and I'm not, and I wish I could be like her so I could feel like Airin really thinks I'm beautiful."

And then I was thinking, that the real problem isn't that I feel that she's better than me... I feel like I'm not good enough. I don't feel like I could ever be that girl. Well... I suppose now I can't since she was 17 and now I'm 28, but whatever. Anyway... I feel like I could never be 110 lbs. Hell, I don't think I'll ever get to 135 lbs. I try to envision myself being that weight, and it doesn't compute. I feel silly. I feel like it's wishful thinking. I can't even visualize it. I don't have hope of even getting there. It's like a pipe dream.

I can envision the 165 lbs... what I weighed before I got pregnant. But even that weight, I felt fat. I was overweight by 20 lbs. And I still had another 50 lbs on Megan...

There's a lot wrong with me that I need to fix. When I was a Christian I tried to pray. But now I'm just me, myself and I, taking responsibility for who I am.

I don't want to be like Megan. I want to be me that feels good to be me, that feels confident. I don't need to be anyone else. But I definitely do not need to be the person that hates who she is anymore.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MEADSBAY 4/4/2010 10:26PM

    I hate her.
You are the kind of person I would have for a friend.
She is a little nothing.
She's less than nothing.
You are so much better than her in all the important ways.
Who cares about the size of your waist? Think about the people you love. Do you even think about how much they weigh?
You are going through a rough time right now but this, too, will pass.
Focus on the good things. Cuddle with that baby every chance you get-that perfect being that you created with your perfect body.
Listen to your husband and believe him when he says he loves you- just as you are.
You will get thin, in good time. Baby steps- you will get there.
I LOVE that you love Halen- the poor motherless boy- and care so much about him. You are pretty much saving his life by your lovingkindness. It is one of the gifts you have. It's one reason why I admire you.
I can see you are powerfully angry at things in your life but could you possibly be having some depression issues? Just a thought. Please take no offense.
Hope your week goes well.

BR> emoticon

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Word From Ohio

Friday, April 02, 2010

This is me at the beginning of March. I finally caved and bought some clothes that fit but that weren't maternity or fat clothes. It really helps feeling like you don't look like a fat slob, just fat.


So I am in Ohio, visiting my in-laws for Easter. Visiting the in-laws is problematic from several directions:

1) I usually gain about 5 lbs over a weekend here. It's food galore. And my MIL does not skimp on the butter, sour cream, etc... it's all there. And it's like "Oh, I'm on vacation" NOM NOM NOM... and then I get home feeling fat, and sort of like I have some intestinal blockage.

2) Church. They really love Jesus, and I'm really an agnostic (or atheist, depending on how fatalistic I'm feeling that day. No matter.). My husband is sort of more new-agey. Since we're here for Easter, I will probably have to go to church. Little Avery has never been taken to church. He did get blessed by a Catholic priest while under watch of my atheist stepsister while visiting my Lutheran Nana at a nursing home... the weird things that happen when I'm not around. I said I didn't care, since to me, visiting a priest is kind of like visiting Santa Clause. Anyway... they think we've "turned our backs on God" and stuff like that... which I guess I have, except that I don't really feel there is anyone there to turn my back on. It's complicated. I hate it when people tell me I'm going to hell... it's not like I run around saying "SOMEDAY! SOMEDAY YOU'RE GOING TO STOP EXISTING ALTOGETHER! AND THEN WHATCHA GONNA DO???"

3) Republicans. They're everywhere in Ohio. And they hate atheist liberals. Including the in-laws. We try not to bring up politics. It never goes well.

4) The ex-wife. My husband's first wife used to live in this town, and Airin met her in high school. I still remember visiting him and going to the Denny's with her, right up the road. It's like her ghost is still here. Today I found a photo album in the closet (where I was hanging my church clothes, so it's not technically snooping) with pictures of them the day they got married, the day their son (now MY son) was born, etc... and then some other ones. She's prettier than me, and thinner than me, and she was here first. She was the trophy wife, and I'm ... well... I wasn't exactly thin and pretty before I got pregnant. She was one of those cute pregnant girls with the basket ball tummies. I looked like FU(l{ing Shamu. And now I'm even fatter than I was before (25 lbs or so fatter than I was when I found out I was pregnant).

Talk about an inferiority complex.

The only reason my husband is with me instead of her, is because she was totally crazy after she had Halen. He ignored me back then; he wanted the pretty, sexy, mysterious girl... not chubby, socially awkward, funny looking Michelle... I was the best friend. And then things 'fell apart', but it took a good 9 months of her being totally nuts before they separated, and then it took another few years before he gave up altogether. Research shows that a man will try harder to preserve a relationship if the woman is attractive... I wonder how crazy I would have to be before he would leave me. I'm all stressed out all the time, working 3 part time teaching jobs, write my quals paper, getting by by the skin of my teeth... and he seems to get angry because I'm stressed. I'd probably get angry at me too though, I guess.

Anyway... I would still be nobody if she wasn't nuts. And if he hadn't completely given up on dating altogether. And if he didn't have the baggage of a kid living with him full time. And if he wasn't broke on his ass. Sometimes I wonder I was only good enough when he had completely hit rock bottom. Sure, that's when they see things as they really are, and blah blah blah. But why wasn't I good enough before he didn't have any other options?

I wonder...

And so... like I said, going to Ohio is a difficult time. Hopefully I'll be able to keep it together.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BEECHNUT13 4/3/2010 12:08PM

    Hahha, thanks, ladies!

You're right, EWESTCOTT - I would NEVER say that crap to anyone else... why should I say it to me? My self-esteem plummets when I come here... I always feel so crappy about myself, and I say such negative things to myself. That little voice inside my head gets real pissy when we come to Ohio.

But it's hard to stay rational all the time. Even my husband tells me I'm ridiculous and that he thinks I'm beautiful, etc... but I just feel so second-rate to his ex-wife. Eh... I will blog about this later to help get some of these icky feelings off my chest.

I went over a little bit last night - my husband and I went out for ice cream! Yum!!! I'm working on staying within my limits today. Even if I do go over though - and I did yesterday - it will only be a little bit, which is a big improvement from before.

My MIL made hashbrown casserole, baked breaded chicken, and fruit for brunch. It was very filling, but I did have seconds of the casserole and chicken. Didn't finish my seconds of the casserole though. And GOD, pineapple is addicting...

This weekend will be better than most... I will not go home 5 lbs heavier!!!

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MEADSBAY 4/2/2010 11:04PM

Would you say half of this crap to a friend. Michelle?
He chose YOU, didn't he?
You are a smart and pretty girl who has a few extra pounds on you- so what?
You better stop and smell the roses- you'll be 60 before you know it.
Think how fast the last 5 years have gone!
It only goes faster and faster.
You have so much to offer- start appreciating you!
Inlaws do suck, though.
I was lucky- my MIL didn't speak to us for the first 10 years.

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GAIL1000 4/2/2010 12:08AM

    OMG....good luck to you!

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Another week of accomplishments

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Here's a picture of me back in early October with my family. I was beefier then.

Though not as many as I would have liked... this week will be better.

These are my accomplishments for last week:
1) Stayed within my calorie range 5 of 7 days.
2) Exercised 4 days.
3) Did strength training 2 days (GOAL ACCOMPLISHED)
4)Glowing comment to Halen 4 days
5) Earned over 175 Sparkpoints GOAL ACCOMPLISHED
6) Organized most of my quals outline
7) Wrote about 3 pages in 3 days of my quals paper
8) Wrote my 2400 exam
9) Wrote my 251 exam, lectures, and review
10) Wrote 3350 project guidelines
11) Drank 5 cups water 3 days this week
12) Updated curriculum vita for probation meeting
13) Took beating at probation meeting but started writing anyway
14) Tracked my food every day!
15) Tried new recipes, like mjadra (yum...)
16) Down to 187 lbs - lost 18 lbs total!
17) Ate only 1 treat at night - 1 piece of chocolate, or s'mores.
18) Printed more quals articles.
19) Wore makeup and styled hair.
20) Cleaned the house.

Things I missed:
1) stay within calorie range 6 out of 7 days. I went over by 69 calories one day, and about 500 or 600 calories another day - that was a party, and I had some pizza and cake. It was the only day I've really gone over in awhile... which is why I've been doing so well! Now I need to pick myself up and not dwell on it, but not let it become a problem either.
2) Exercise 15 minutes 5 days /week. It's so much easier to exercise when it's nice outside, because then I like to go for walks and enjoy the fresh air. Walking when it's cold and rainy really sucks!
3) Drink 5 cups water 5 days in a row. Well... the in a row didn't happen, so then I thought I would at least try to get 5 days at all... and came up one short! This week instead of trying to drink 5 cups plain water, I'm going to try 5 cups of anything non-caffeinated. So, today I had a few glasses of plain water, and I had 3 cups of tea. Maybe that will help, since I don't really like plain water.
4) Glowing comment to Halen every day. I had PMS, and I've been stressed and tired. No one's been getting much out of me, but it's still not right. I need to be more encouraging to him. Now that I feel better, I will be better about that this week.
5) One-on-one with Avery. Hanging out with Avery is my favorite thing to do... I need to do it more.
6) Talk with Airin 3 days. I feel like we're in 2 separate worlds sometimes, and it's very lonely. I want to talk to him, but he's doing other crap. When I tell him about my goals, he says that's great and all... actually the other day I was feeling a little down, and he gave me a list of good things I was doing, and that did make me feel better. So maybe he is listening to me...

So... this week was kind of rocky. I missed a few of my goals, but I did not completely biff or anything... it was a B week, which is still above average. This week needs to be an A week though!

So far this week, I've shaved off a chunk of my pinky fingernail (how!?). But I did write about 3 pages of my quals paper today, so that's good - and one of my most difficult sections of the paper too. I want to get this done so bad so I can be like "FVCl{ you Darth Vader!!!"

Here are my goals for this week:
1) Eat within calorie range 6 of 7 days (this is Easter week, so I'll be going to my in-laws... I usually come home 4 lbs heavier)
2) Exercise 15 mins/day 5 days/wk.
3) Drink 5 cups water/day 5 days/week. This can include tea or crystal light.
4) Glowing comment to Halen every day. Seriously? I need to stop being such a cranky-a$$.
5) One-on-one with Avery daily. Why is my favorite person in the whole world getting pushed down to the bottom of the to-do list?
6) Talk to Airin 3 days. It doesn't have to be lengthly. I miss him anyway.
7) Write some quals paper 5 days. As long as I write every day, it will get done quickly.
8) Earn 175 sparkpoints. Keeps me motivated!
9) 3 fruits/veggies per day. I think I usually do this, but once in awhile I won't really eat much produce... this week when I'm at my in-laws, it will hopefully help me stay on track with my goals.

I can totally do these!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MEADSBAY 3/29/2010 10:55PM

you have a lot on your plate right now.
I'm exhausted reading this.
Please keep things as simple as possible.
Hormonally and physically it takes like a year to return to pre-prgnancy, doesn't it?
Relax- breathe deeply- enjoy each day.
You really only have this moment for sure.

Comment edited on: 3/29/2010 10:56:23 PM

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FOOFIT1 3/28/2010 10:54PM

    Wow! You have accomplished a LOT in one week! Congrats on it all, and I hope next week is just as productive!!!


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