BECKYQUIGLEY   25,194
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Inspirational Statement :)

Thursday, October 09, 2014

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KAREN633 10/13/2014 9:40PM

    Love the message

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ADAGIO_CON_BRIO 10/10/2014 9:01PM

    emoticon

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STONECOT 10/10/2014 3:35AM

    So true! As I've turned into a clean eater and a gym bunny, I've gone from merely gorgeous, to drop dead gorgeous! It definitely works! emoticon

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GAYLLYNNE 10/9/2014 5:45PM

    Love this because it's so true!!

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COOLMAMA11 10/9/2014 3:17PM

    So True! emoticon

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LIVERIGHTNOW 10/9/2014 3:12PM

    Yes, I feel great!!!!!

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SUSANELAINE1956 10/9/2014 12:44PM

    emoticon I lose so slowly, but that statement says it all for me. I have been consistently eating better and exercising daily, and I feel great! emoticon

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STUDLEEJOE 10/9/2014 12:33PM

    emoticon

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CHOCOHOLIC2276 10/9/2014 12:28PM

    emoticon Yeah it does!!!! emoticon

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JAIZWAYS 10/9/2014 12:27PM

    I love it!! emoticon emoticon


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OPHELIE 10/9/2014 11:38AM

    emoticon

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Resiliency:

Sunday, October 05, 2014

As part of this weekend's BLC challenge, we have been asked to write about a time we were disappointed, and whether we bounced back after the disappointment. My own disappointment that I'll write about was disappointment in how I handled something and how poorly I bounced back.

Four years ago this week, my biological father passed away unexpectedly. Well, I say unexpectedly because I wasn't expecting it. I think he was expecting to die long before he did. He had a brain aneurysm that was caught and removed, and he was expected to make a full recovery. However, he did not. I have a whole theory on this because of my own belief that a person can hurt or heal themselves with their attitudes, but that's not what I'm writing about right now...

Instead, I'll write about my reaction. At that time, I was also involved in a BLC challenge. I was at my pre-baby weight for the first time post-baby. I felt awesome, looked great, ate well, and was exercising often. I loved being part of the BLC then just as now.

Then boom. My dad died at age 52. Our relationship was always a rocky one (at least in my head. I'm not sure he was even aware of it), so the lack of closure may have been the worst part of my grief. At his funeral, I had to face people I never planned to see again. The bizarre family dynamic, the rather unhealthy choices I'd always made around him, etc...All of it conspired together and I let it take over.

I gained all the weight I had lost and more. I quit the BLC and SparkPeople altogether. I just let go of everything that was good for my physical health.

And so...do I think I was resilient at that time? Nope. I did not "rebound" or "get back in the game" for a few years. And when I did, I was pretty much starting over.

What would happen now, I wonder? Obviously, part of life is death. Other people will pass away in my life. Other terrible things will happen. Will I fall apart again? I mean, grief is its own animal and a person has to go through it. But do I have to let go of all of my goals?

No. Right now I pledge that I won't. My own health goals (which are even starting to coincide with my career goals) need to stay top of mind, no matter what. Is that selfish? No. I think anyone on SP would agree with that. We all know that we have to take care of ourselves before we can take care of everyone else.

Here's what I'll do next time (and this could be for anything that could potentially derail me):
1. Keep my habits and routines. Don't stop those.
2. Reach out. Reach out here and to people around me.
3. Write my feelings instead of eating them. They don't taste good anyway.

Anything else you'd recommend?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ADAGIO_CON_BRIO 10/12/2014 5:46PM

    Becky, you are thinking such helpful thoughts for yourself that I am a bit afraid of saying anything that might derail you. Honestly, I think of my obesity as being a possible response to death. My father died at age 54, very suddenly, and shortly after the tragic death of my sister. In one year I had two deaths in the family, got pregnant, and was taking care of a young toddler. I ate. I got addicted to a sweet drink and I drank it constantly. I was desperate. I tried to make up justifications: I can stop eating and then I will be able to drink 3 gallons of this soda: this Peppy Cocaine, I will call it.

It medicated me but I should have been in therapy and been exercising.

I spent so much of my life tranquilizing myself with food because of the extreme anguish of loss and mortality.

I try to have my relationships in good shape so that if I die==of if the other person dies---there will not be self-recriminations. I try to turn to exercise when I am down and I stay exercising as much as I can to be a bit up if something terrible happens.

I accept the fact that I am an anxious, worried, depressed person who can have panic attacks and I plan my life so that I can live with it and be as normal as possible.

That "animal of grief" of which you speak---it will be there again but perhaps you can meet it face on; perhaps you can befriend the philosophical underpinning of mortality that plagues our lives and just lead as vibrant a live as possible.

Wallace Stevens, one of my favorite poets, wrote that "Death is the mother of beauty" and I hated that line; it made no sense to me. I think I have come to understand the line.

You are a role model to me!

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COOLMAMA11 10/9/2014 9:28AM

    I lost my Dad, he was 57, (to cancer), it was hard to deal with,also my brother to colon cancer.We all handle things in a different way, so glad you eventually got back to what was right for you., I find keeping a journal or blogging out those feelings gives some relief!

emoticon ~Elaine from Azure

Comment edited on: 10/9/2014 9:31:28 AM

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SUSANELAINE1956 10/8/2014 10:51AM

    It is difficult dealing with the death of a parent. It's great that you have analyzed this and have a plan of action for the next time. emoticon

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5KGRANNY 10/6/2014 12:37PM

    Grief affects everyone in different ways. You may not have been resilient at the time but I think you are maybe even more so for having gone through it and reflecting on it. Great plan for actually any hardship thrown at you. :)

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RICKISMOM1 10/6/2014 1:07AM

    My Dad was a perfectionist... he loved us, but had trouble expressing it, something that was a big factor in my own self-attitude and weight gain. After his death, my brother discovered WHY he had been like that (war experiences), and I was better able to understand and accept his attitude as HIS problem, not as being something wrong with me.
I "wrote him a letter", and this helped me a LOT with closure.
Keep on going.... great plan!

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KCSMOM9 10/5/2014 9:33PM

    This is a great plan! emoticon

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FIT-AT-50 10/5/2014 9:10PM

    Great reflection and plan for dealing with future grief or other things that could derail your goals! I completely agree with all three, and think that using blogs as your place to write your feelings is a good additional way to reach out; especially if you blog in a safe place like SparkPeople.

Thanks for sharing. emoticon

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CRAFTY1960 10/5/2014 8:19PM

    Good plan for dealing with it can't think of anything to add

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Today's Inspiration Brought to You By An 8-Year-Old

Tuesday, September 30, 2014



That's my daughter a few months ago. She watched my trainer on a Facebook video, doing handstands with weights...and BOOM! She grabbed weights, turned herself upside down, and there she is.

This isn't the first time I've been inspired by my little bundle of energy...It's awesome to have someone who loves to be active with me!

(Not that you'll see a picture of me doing that...)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HEALTHYHEIDI12 10/1/2014 10:22PM

    That's amazing!!!!

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LIVERIGHTNOW 9/30/2014 9:19PM

    Glad you are active buds with your kid!!!!!! That's wonderful, Becky!!!!

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DELIA38961 9/30/2014 8:57PM

    emoticon that's great

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GAYLLYNNE 9/30/2014 4:49PM

    That's fantastic!! Yes, she is a little inspiration!!!!

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CAROL494 9/30/2014 4:24PM

  emoticon

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5KGRANNY 9/30/2014 4:14PM

    I actually tried that (without the weights) however your daughters picture is impressive. Mine on the other hand would have fit in with the 3 Stooges. :)

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FAVALL 9/30/2014 4:12PM

    She is an inspiration!

Awe, come on Becky. you can try it, too. A picture isn't necessary but you may be surprised what you are able to do.

emoticon

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How I ended up in the middle of a lake in my sports bra

Saturday, September 20, 2014

Im not someone who bares my midriff often (read: EVER), so finding myself outside on a lake in just shorts and a sports bra was not something I expected this weekend...

A few weeks ago, a friend posted about SUP (Stand Up Paddleboard) Yoga on Facebook. My friend is Fit and Healthy, with a fairly regular yoga practice. Guess what Im not? Well, at least in my own perception: Im not Fit or Healthy, and I definitely dont have a regular yoga practice. Ive been a beginner at yoga for 11 years now. This is similar to my running--a beginner for 7 years

So I read it and thought, Thatll be cool to do someday when Im Fit, and moved on with my day. However, just so Id remember, I Liked the Facebook page my friend linked to right then. And a few days later, I read an article on the benefits of SUP Yoga. And I talked a little with my friend about wanting to do that with her someday.

My friend assured me I could do it now. However, she was just being nice, right? Of course she was! Why would she think I could do that now? Im not Fit or Healthy. And no real yoga practice to speak of

I was sure my friend pictured the two of us like this:

Credit: https://www.flickr.com/photos/blueheronpho
tos/
I was also pretty sure Id be all like this:

Credit: https://www.facebook.com/YoginiSUPAdventur
ePidmontTriadYoga/photos_stream

So whatever. I left it alone. But it stayed in my head

See I have these two things about me that Ive discovered:
I want to be adventurous. I want to do all the crazy things (except bungee jumping). I want to climb and hike and bike and swim and all of it.
I am scared to death. Ive got crazy amounts of fear in me when it comes to my body. I spend so much time living inside my head that to get OUT of my head and be physically adventurous is frightening as hell.

So I make lists of things to do Some Day.

Well, this week a friend on Sparkpeople wrote something that jumped right off the screen at me. Of course, now that Im looking for the direct quote I cant find it. However, heres the gist: Do not let yourself think you cant do things at your current weight. And she went on to talk about the races shes run and the amazing things shes accomplished with her body.

IMAGINE! She didnt stop to say she would do it when she felt she was Fit and Healthy. She DID IT.

And so I texted my Fit and Healthy Friend (FHF) and said, Im in! Heres how our adventure went

My first view of the lake was this:


I found the wonderful yoga instructor while she was unloading our boards from her truck. First she asked, Where do you practice yoga? Well I dont really. Just here and there sometimes for 11 years. And her next question, Have you been on a paddleboard? UmmmNo. Is this going to be okay? I was a little scared at this point and a bit ready to just head on back home.

She assured me that I would be fine. The other women (including my FHF) arrived and we learned about our boards and paddles. Then (OMG!!) we (Oh no!!) got in the water (Were really doing this??). ON. THE. BOARDS. This was by far the scariest part for me. Not even a foot of water, and my legs were shaking already. This will be bad, my inner self said. I will fall in before we even get out on the lake. This was a bad idea. My body is not Fit and Healthy, what was I thinking??

But it didnt matter. I was in the water and committed. I started paddling, just like the instructor told us. And my paddleboard moved. First we went to the middle of the lake. This was a surprise: I had assumed we would just head a little bit from shore and start downward dogging or whatever. But NO. We got to the middle of the lake and...kept going. We rounded a corner. We found a beautiful spot, with no boats. Nothing but water, trees and blue sky. One of the women said today that every time she does this, its like the instructor gives her a little slice of heaven. Yes. That was it. Heaven.

The yoga moves were simple today, mostly for my benefit I think. I was amazed at what I could do. I was even more amazed when, after my shirt got wet while I was laying on the board (I did NOT fall in--it was from water that went a bit of the top of the board), I took my shirt off and continued in my SPORTS BRA. For real. Do you know how often people see me in my sports bra with no shirt? They do not. I try not to hurt people with images like that.

(Dont look! Youll hurt your eyes!) Credit: https://www.flickr.com/photos/michaelkeith
/

But I did it. I stayed in my sports bra all the way back to shore after our yoga practice.

So this was one of my first new adventures. What should I do next?? Im ready to try it all and Im done with being afraid. Also you know what? I actually think...Ive become FIT AND HEALTHY after all! It seems the number on the scale doesnt determine that. Im eating well, Im exercising, Im trying new things. Ive begun living the life I wanted to live Some Day.

Credit: https://www.flickr.com/photos/joeshlabotni
k/

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PINKPANTHERS 9/21/2014 8:32AM

    Go you! That is inspiring, and sounds like soooo much fun! It's sad that we miss out on things due to fear, way to break that cycle and be strong! emoticon emoticon

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ADAGIO_CON_BRIO 9/20/2014 7:21PM

    If I were young and enthusiastic and brave I would be screaming "YOU GO, GIRLFRIEND" at you. But I'm not brave enough....
But I am seriously impressed with what you have done.

Seriously impressed, I say!

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KCSMOM9 9/20/2014 4:04PM

    That is so awesome!!! Be super proud of yourself. emoticon

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MARYJOANNA 9/20/2014 4:00PM

  What fun for you! You did it!

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BHENDRICK2 9/20/2014 3:07PM

    emoticon

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PICKIE98 9/20/2014 2:54PM

    Brave, beautiful and bodacious!!!!
Nothing on this planet could induce me to appear anywhere in my sports bra!! I cannot and will not be responsible for random acts of blindness!!
I also am VERY amply endowed and would gross even the wildlife out of the woods and water...

You are young and in shape, good for you!! One adventure chalked up!! What to do next?

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Cover Your Eyes! Week 1 Pics Below...

Sunday, August 10, 2014

In addition to measuring my hips and waist, I took my "before" or first week pictures today. My goal here is to post these each week. Surely it can't feel worse than this first one ever again...








Ugh. Done. Tomorrow I'll weigh in first thing too.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ADAGIO_CON_BRIO 8/23/2014 3:21PM

    I ALWAYS think you are gorgeous! Today is my own jumping off point too.



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FOCUSD 8/10/2014 10:17PM

  Best of luck on your journey. You are not that far from your ideal weight, should be there in no time!

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