Monday, September 15, 2014
So I entered a 5k race with my mom just so we would have a goal to work toward and it is this Saturday. We will be running the Neon Dash 5k and it looks super fun so I am really excited about it. It will be her first 5k and my 3rd. And we will have only been "training" for 3 weeks. But I feel good about it. I did a practice run on this past Saturday and did 3.4 miles in 35 minutes, 2 of those miles I did in 10 minutes each, which is an all time record for me! What, what?!?!
This running thing is really starting to make me feel stronger than I ever really have. I have always envied runners, the ease with which they seem to do it and me with my awkwardness...I just always figured I would never be good at it. And I'm not "good" at it by any means yet, but I feel like I could be if I just don't give up.
The boyfriend told me last night that this was the first relationship in his life that felt like he was supported when it came to weight loss and getting healthy. It was a really great compliment and it also made me feel really grateful that I have a partner that is willing to do this with me instead of me just trying to do it on my own, or him trying to do it on his own. I have never been in a relationship before where we supported each others goals like this. We both have just had to go at it alone before now, even in our relationship together, we have had a tendency in the past to do things and not necessarily do them together. This time around we are really making a point not just to hold each other accountable, but to do it together. It is really nice.
So, with the race this Saturday, I wondered does anyone have any tips on going from running on a treadmill to running outside? I have been strictly running on my treadmill and I know that getting outside is going to be a totally different game. Any ideas or suggestions are welcome! Hope everyone has a great week!
Thursday, September 11, 2014
I don't really even know where to start. I haven't been on the site in almost a year and I am not really even sure why. I think I moved to another state about a month after my last post and I just never got back on after that. But that would make sense because if I am being completely honest, when we moved it was like I completely forgot all my healthy habits I had worked so hard to learn and adopt. I went back to eating out on a VERY regular basis (read LOTS of Mexican food and pizza) and I am pretty sure that I completely stopped working out also. Which makes absolutely no sense at all because I didn't even work for the first 6-7 months we were living here and I had all the time in the world to do anything I wanted for my workouts.
I thought about this a month or two back and realized how much my environment affected me. I moved to a rather small town compared to where we were from and I noticed fairly quickly how little effort most people put into themselves here. I was so used to looking my best even to run to the grocery store that when I got here and so many people everywhere looked like they had just crawled out of bed, I just eventually gave in and decided that I didn't need to try that hard to look decent. Which in turn meant that I cared less and less about what I looked like at all. And I became kind of comfortable being a "bigger girl" because everyone else around me kind of looked the same way. And by the time that I started to acknowledge that I was letting myself go, I was back up to 230+ lbs. Which means that in the 7 months or so that I was not paying attention to what was going in my mouth or that I was tending to sit on the couch and watch marathons on Netflix all day instead of getting up and doing ANYTHING that required physical exertion, I gained back about 20 lbs. I didn't even want to acknowledge that it was possible to gain that much weight that fast. But I did eventually step on the scale. And that was all it really took. I have had a few slip ups since then but for the most part I have had a little bit of a slap in the face and been reminded that I need to make myself a priority and get my life back on track.
I think I really made the decision to make some changes a few weeks ago while watching an episode of Extreme Weight Loss (yeah, I was probably sitting on the couch eating while watching) and Chris Powell looked straight at me (for real, it was like he knew I was there and needed to hear what he was saying at that EXACT moment) and asked what I wanted to change and did I know that I could be well on my way in 90 days if I would just DO IT. And something clicked. And I decided to set a very specific goal for myself and to STICK to working towards it. Because in all reality, 90 days is not that long and if I can just dedicate myself to those 90 days, maybe I can change my life.
I'm tired of thinking about myself as the fat girl. I am tired of telling myself that I can't do something, because the only thing that is standing in my way is ME. And that was what I needed to fully accept and deal with. I think that now that I have really admitted that all of this really is the way it is because I have allowed it to be that way, I think that it is easier for me to accept that it can be changed. I needed to look myself in the mirror and be okay with saying to myself that this is not okay. If that even makes any sense. But when I did, and when I made some very open statements about my weight and my goals out loud to people I knew would hold me accountable, it made the entire process so much easier. I have been more dedicated to my workouts and have been eating so much better since that moment and the crazy thing is that I don't feel like it is a chore to work out or that I am being deprived of food. I just feel good. And hopefully it will continue to be that way. I set a 40 lb weight loss goal for myself to hit by December 1st and so I am working hard to get there. I am down about 10 so far and have to work really hard to be able to get to hit that goal in that amount of time, but that is kind of why I set so large a goal. I will HAVE to be dedicated and work hard to make that happen.
So wish me luck.
Thursday, October 10, 2013
I am seriously considering signing up for one of these "Diet Bet" thingy-ma-jigs. I keep hearing people talking about them and there is something so tempting about putting money down on whether or not I stick to my plan and make it work. Not so much really to win money (but that would be a bonus I suppose) but more to not lose my own money. Especially with the holidays coming up, I could use a little extra motivation to NOT devour everything in sight. I have done so well recently that I REALLY, REALLY do not want to just put it all back on over the next few months. And we all know how it is in an office at Christmas-time. There are constantly cookies and candy and potlucks and everything else imaginable that could suck me in.
I did have TWO (yeah, that's right, that is plural) coworkers tell me today that they can really see my weight loss and that was reassuring. It was also weird because I never really know what to say when someone comes up and says "I can really see how much weight you have lost." I always just smile and say "Oh...yeah, thanks. I am trying....." But I always feel awkward. Part of me wants to be happy and "YAY!! Someone else noticed!" but the other part of me doesn't want anyone to bring it up. I don't really completely understand it. I am not really doing this so others will pat me on the back...I am really only doing it for me. Well....and for my boyfriend, because let's face it, if he's gonna lose weight and get all smokin hot, then I gotta catch up. I mean, c'mon, he has lost almost 50 lbs and it is ridiculously maddening. And extremely motivating. I think that him doing that has been more motivation than just about anything else, and not because I feel like he is judging me or won't be as attracted to me or anything like that, but more because I see the dedication that he has had and it made me realize that if he can be that healthy and still be so happy throughout it then I can do the same. It doesn't have to be a miserable process.
So all that being said, should I or should I not do the Diet Bet? Has anyone else done one and did it help curb any bad habits that may have tried to rear their ugly, hungry heads? Or am I better off just sticking to what I have been doing and hope that my willpower stays strong in the coming days and months? That tis the question of the day....
Wednesday, October 09, 2013
Things are going well I have to say. I am down 20 lbs since I came back and I am feeling really good about it. Sometimes I don't see it when I look at myself, but the scale says it and I know that my clothing reflects it so it has to be at least somewhat true, right? I still have not been on the site as much as I need to be. I have not been logging my food (I am however really keeping a very close eye on what I am eating, even if it was skittles and hot tamales...I watched them go from my hand to my mouth and then knew that it was okay because it was one occasion and it hasn't happened again).
I think this is probably the least stressed out I have ever been when it comes to losing weight. Maybe that is why it is successful this time? Maybe the cortisol levels are down so my body is cooperating? Who knows, whatever it is, I'll take it because it is working.
I am going to post an actual goal here so that I can have it out there where I want to be and maybe it will help to make it happen. I would really love to lose another 40 lbs. That would put me back at the weight I was after my daughter was born and I was really happy and healthy at that point. It is not some unrealistic goal. I am not going to try to get back to a weight that I was before I had kids and before my body changed so drastically. That would be really, really hard to maintain and I am not going to make any excuses, but I do not have the time to maintain that sort of weight. That was a weight that I only achieved by working out almost 2 hours a day, 5-6 days a week. I do not have that kind of free time anymore. But I do have the ability to lose 40 and maintain it. There is no reason not to....
Also, I have been trying really hard to get my salon clientele built back up so that I can go back to working only as a hairstylist and get out of the office job I am in now. I am really not happy there and all I really want is to go back to a job that I love and make enough money to not worry about how I am going to pay my bills. Anyone who reads this, if you could send a little positive energy my way, it would be much appreciated on that front. This is something I really want to happen and at the same time, I am really scared that it won't. I suppose that I just need to have some faith that it will work out....
Okie dokie....it is time for me to head off to lunch now (somebody brought vegetarian black bean soup for lunch today!) and so I must bid you all adieu....so long....farewell......until we meet again! Have a great day!
Thursday, September 12, 2013
Do you ever have one of those days when you feel like you cannot seem to just make things go the way you need them to? Try as you might, it just doesn't pan out? That was yesterday....I had every good intention of working out when I got home and it didn't happen. Walked in the door at 6, started dinner for the kids and fully planned on working out while it cooked but then my phone rang. And when I finished with that call I had to have an hour long phone interview with a specialist about some issues with my son. So that workout never happened.
Sometimes all our best intentions still do not work out in our favor. But there are still things that we can control. What I have realized and somehow managed to make happen recently is being in control of my diet. I don't know exactly when it happened, but with the grace of (insert any higher being) I have managed to conquer one of the biggest problems I have always had. Stress eating. Nights like last night when my stress levels and emotions take over normally lead to a bowl of ice cream, or 1/2 a bag of chips or something equally inappropriate. But lately, I haven't resorted to these things. Even when others around me have treated themselves, somehow I have managed to not go there. And this morning was the first time I really thought about how it has been easier to just say no. And it is paying off. For the first time in my life I am not killing myself with workouts to barely see any results. For once, the weight is starting to come off and I am only working out when I can really fit it in.
I had always heard and read that diet is 70-80% of losing weight, but I still would just work out harder in the gym so that I could have that dessert after dinner, or eat fries for lunch and tell myself to go a little further in my run. And guess what, I barely lost anything, if I lost at all. Lately, I haven't been killing myself in workouts (although when I do work out, I work out hard) and I am still seeing some results. And because it is actually working, for once I am not so frustrated and that means I don't decide to just say screw it and eat what I want. I'm not saying I don't eat a meal I want from time to time. At least once a week I have a meal that I eat simply because it is what I want and I don't feel guilty about it later. But I don't do an entire weekend of eating whatever I want, and I don't have to, because I am actually enjoying eating healthier. I honestly, as much as I have said that I did, didn't ever think that I would be this person. It is a really liberating feeling to know that you can always surprise yourself.
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