Thursday, March 31, 2011
Yesterday, while I was sitting with the little dog, I went through the nutrition reports from December 2008 on. Then, I thought that I could create the grocery lists from weeks that were particularly good, but it turned out I couldn't. Oh, well. Instead, I just printed out my food log from days where I was in my calorie range and had a good balance between carbs, protein, and fat.
But I was shocked at how many red dots my reports had! And how few blue! That is, when you ate within your calorie range on a given day, it was in this colored strip on the chart, and the dot was blue. But if you were over or under, then it was a red dot. And my reports looked like it had measles, the chicken pox and poison ivy all at once!
I don't know if I would consider myself a visual person, or a visually-motivated person, but in my mind, I began to imagine all my dots as blue dots lined up neatly on that little colored strip, and I saw that as very desirable. So yesterday and today, I have a streak going of earning blue dots for the day. Maybe if I stop getting red dots, I will finally have some weight loss success.
Because, I mean, really? Nutrition reports from December 2008, and I've lost very little, if anything at all, if I haven't gained in that time? Doing SparkPeople? And by doing SparkPeople, I mean, "doing" SparkPeople. Obviously, my commitment hasn't been that strong. About as strong as my commitment to...I don't know...get a pilot's license. Seriously!
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
I picked Little Sammy up from the hospital this morning. I cried when they brought him to me. I didn't know you could love a dog so much. He did really well during the surgery, and he's surprisingly alert this morning. He keeps wobbling around only slightly more wobbly than usual. He IS an old man! I'm trying to feed him, but he doesn't want to eat, and I need him to eat for his medicine.
If I can get him to go sleep, I will go to the gym. I actually think he's asleep right now, but I've got him on the couch with me, and I can't leave him up there alone. I guess if that doesn't work, I'll go tonight when my husband is back.
Poor Sammy! He can't catch a break. I hope he stops growing things he's not supposed to. We'll get the biopsy results early next week.
I'm off the rest of the week for Little Sammy. I'm going to use this time well, but I don't quite know how.
I'm kind of back to where I was before when I was home alone that weekend. What should I do with myself? How can I best use my time? Besides snuggling with the Little Dog. Organize some closets? Freecycle a bunch of junk? Rosetta Stone? Learn how best to plan meals for a week? Any other ideas?
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Today was the day that I would pay for my next four sessions. I won't be doing that. I'm a little nervous to tell her.
It's not that I'm not getting anything out of it or that I hate it. I really enjoy my voice lessons. But...
The results of an articulation or whatever it's called that was done on a spot on Sammy's abdomen came back as a mast cell tumor, and it needs, needs, needs to be removed. They said that they could do it in their office, and he could go home the same day, but I asked if it wouldn't be better to have a board-certified surgeon do it, instead. She said that she would be honest with me, and yes, it would be better, because Sammy is old and has a heart murmur and SHOULDN'T BE UNDER ANESTHESIA at all. But it has to be done.
So I called the center that did his splenectomy, and they said they could do it, for 2.75 times what the regular vet's office's estimate was. But he stays overnight, and they are experts, which is so important to me. So I'm paying it.
Thus, it would be irresponsible to pay for more voice lessons. Honestly, it was probably not that responsible in the first place without having a full 8-month emergency fund (which is a work in progress). If I had asked Suze Orman if I could afford it, she would have said, "Denied!"
Monday, March 21, 2011
I realized something today.
My Wanderlust is gone.
Years ago, I traipsed around Europe...twice. I wanted to see every continent before I died. I fell in love with a Latino and asked him to take me to every country in South America. I learned two foreign languages. I dreamed of the day I would move to Germany and tried to figure out a way to hasten the day. I wanted to go around the world.
Now, I just want the world to come to me.
I host exchange students. It's fun, and it's my dream, but even when it's someone who speaks one of my two foreign langauges, I don't bother. The thought of planning a trip is exhausting to me. Last time I was dragged to my husband's native land, I had a hissy fit and cried and begged to be taken to the airport early. Oh, my. I sound like a brat.
When did I get so BORING? And when did I get so LAZY? Is it when I started allowing myself to skip articles in the "Travel" section? Where is my joie de vivre? Is it strange to not want to see the world? Is it weird to want to stay home? Is it odd to feel this tired? Am I only asking this because I live in a major, urban area? And because every "Date Lab" (a weekly column describing a blind date) they set up in the WaPo Magazine has in the "Interests to Share" section travel? Is this a strawman, when I am trying new things, but just sticking closer to home? I dunno.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Did that get your attention?
Well, I am! But I'm not going to use cayenne pepper or lemon juice. No green shakes nor juices. No maple syrup nor diuretics.
I ate like a pig this week. Pizza, tacos, chips... It's embarrassing to write that!
So I will detox. No ingredients I can't pronounce...almost! I can't give up the soda or my aspartame headache will happen, even though it contains phenylalanine. But just one a day. And I'm going to go buy my bread from Whole Foods. I'm going to have to hide it from the human vacuum we have living with us. I used to bake my own bread, and I'd like to start again, but it's SO MUCH WORK, and that kid will eat the entire loaf in a day with no comprehension of the work, time and love that went into it. So I'll buy from Whole Foods. The Dirty Dozen produce will come from there, too. All-natural meats, no hormones, no salt. I'm sure there will be other things I need to think of to make sure I am eating only good, solid, whole foods.
I don't think it's really going to "detox" me. I believe what they say about our bodies detoxing naturally. But I DO think I'm going to feel better after doing it. And I'm not picking a "detox diet" to follow. Just a solid diet for a week. I think that, even though I'm not detoxing, I'll feel better knowing I fed myself well with good foods.
Like an LTGL challenge, I think after I complete my one-week commitment, I won't continue as strongly, but it will make me think, and a few parts of it will stick. And I'm looking forward to it. Even though some may think you shouldn't be so rigid, I know myself, and while I know I can't keep up with this for more than a week, I know that this will make me feel like I accomplished something. So I'm looking forward to it. =)
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