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I'm Quitting My Voice Lessons

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Today was the day that I would pay for my next four sessions. I won't be doing that. I'm a little nervous to tell her.

It's not that I'm not getting anything out of it or that I hate it. I really enjoy my voice lessons. But...

The results of an articulation or whatever it's called that was done on a spot on Sammy's abdomen came back as a mast cell tumor, and it needs, needs, needs to be removed. They said that they could do it in their office, and he could go home the same day, but I asked if it wouldn't be better to have a board-certified surgeon do it, instead. She said that she would be honest with me, and yes, it would be better, because Sammy is old and has a heart murmur and SHOULDN'T BE UNDER ANESTHESIA at all. But it has to be done.

So I called the center that did his splenectomy, and they said they could do it, for 2.75 times what the regular vet's office's estimate was. But he stays overnight, and they are experts, which is so important to me. So I'm paying it.

Thus, it would be irresponsible to pay for more voice lessons. Honestly, it was probably not that responsible in the first place without having a full 8-month emergency fund (which is a work in progress). If I had asked Suze Orman if I could afford it, she would have said, "Denied!"

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KJNLDE 3/24/2011 11:45AM

    That's fantastic that you're getting a discount! I hope Sammy gets better soon and the surgery goes well!! Maybe afterwards you can sing him songs to help him recoup!!

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EYES_ON_THEPRAZ 3/23/2011 6:47PM

    love the Suze reference... sometimes she says APPROVED at the oddest times, and this might have been one of them since she would say you need to have an outlet and a way to let your creativity grow. Though i do agree she would probably say your puppy's health is more important right now. I hope you can revisit it in the future :)

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MONAKIN314 3/23/2011 8:45AM

    Good to hear that you were able to work it out with your voice instructor. I hope Sammy is okay. My Tucker has a heart murmur and they cause such a fuss over it when ever he needs something done. The first time he broke a tooth and need the rest pulled before it got infected, I had to take him to the canine cardiologist before they would do it. Who knew they had heart doctors for dogs? Anyway let us know how Sammy's mast removal goes.

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HICIM705 3/23/2011 5:43AM

    Well - it seems like Sammy will get surgery and you will continue with the voice lessons. . .that's good, right? Hope Sammy does well during surgery.

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RUTHXG 3/23/2011 12:12AM

    50% discount--that's wonderful! It's so encouraging that your teacher is so eager to keep you as a student!

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JAVALOVERTOO 3/22/2011 11:29PM

    Glad things are working out in the $$ department, take that as a blessing and then be a blessing when you can. Praying for Sammy.

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BEATLETOT 3/22/2011 8:21PM

    So....just kidding.

When I went to the lesson, I told her about my situation, and she said she would give me a 50% discount for now. And I do want to continue, so I agreed. She said she didn't want to lose me as a student and she thinks I'm cool and she doesn't want me to lose what I learn.

I mean, to be real, I could afford both of them. Like, it's not like I'm going to be on beans and rice if I do both. Probably I shouldn't have agreed, but I do want to continue.

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AMYLONGHORN 3/22/2011 8:15PM

    So sad for Sammy...he is one lucky dog to have you as a mom! And plus, you don't need voice lessons because you sing AWESOME already, IMHO! Keep me posted on how the Samster does...we love him and we love YOU!!

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PJBOKC 3/22/2011 6:52PM

    You did a great job of setting your priorities. I'm sure the voice instructor will understand when you tell her about Sammy. I pray Sammy will do well in the procedure, and have a speedy recovery. Sounds like you enjoy the voice lessons, and you can sure continue to enjoy practicing what you've learned, and resume the lessons sometime in the future. Again, best to Sammy and you!

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RUTHXG 3/22/2011 6:00PM

    Oh, I'm sorry about the needed surgery for Sammy, & I'm sorry that you can't continue your voice lessons right now. But I know you feel really good about getting the expert help for your sweet companion. Best wishes for the surgery--I hope he comes through it in very good shape.


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KNH771 3/22/2011 5:59PM

    I had to give up my voice lessons to work on paying down debt and establishing an emergency fund. It was painful, but I know it was a good decision! I know that when I'm on better footing, I can restart the lessons.

Hope your dog is OK!

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Too Young to Be So Tired

Monday, March 21, 2011

I realized something today.

My Wanderlust is gone.

Years ago, I traipsed around Europe...twice. I wanted to see every continent before I died. I fell in love with a Latino and asked him to take me to every country in South America. I learned two foreign languages. I dreamed of the day I would move to Germany and tried to figure out a way to hasten the day. I wanted to go around the world.

Now, I just want the world to come to me.

I host exchange students. It's fun, and it's my dream, but even when it's someone who speaks one of my two foreign langauges, I don't bother. The thought of planning a trip is exhausting to me. Last time I was dragged to my husband's native land, I had a hissy fit and cried and begged to be taken to the airport early. Oh, my. I sound like a brat.

When did I get so BORING? And when did I get so LAZY? Is it when I started allowing myself to skip articles in the "Travel" section? Where is my joie de vivre? Is it strange to not want to see the world? Is it weird to want to stay home? Is it odd to feel this tired? Am I only asking this because I live in a major, urban area? And because every "Date Lab" (a weekly column describing a blind date) they set up in the WaPo Magazine has in the "Interests to Share" section travel? Is this a strawman, when I am trying new things, but just sticking closer to home? I dunno.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KAREN_NY 3/27/2011 7:29PM

    You're trying new things, you're engaged with the world, and that is All Good!! Your comfort in staying home doesn't necessarily mean you're Tired. But if you ARE tired, and feeling that even with the things you enjoy at home, maybe try busting the rut a notch?

In any case, celebrate the day -- it is totally worth it, wherever you are!

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GO-LOEW 3/23/2011 12:23PM

    It might be good for you to delve deeper into the reason why you changed your strong desire to travel and see the world to now wanting to stay close to home. If it is because your interests have changed, wonderful! But if it is because of other reasons (excess weight, lack of ability to walk and explore, etc.), then you might want to fix those problems and revive your dream. Your post discusses being tired, exhausted at the thought of planning a trip, uninterested in speaking the foreign languages you know. It seems more like you have these other reasons that are keeping your former desires buried.

I don't know that age alone is the reason you changed your thinking. We know lots of people who are in their 60s and 70s who are going on cruises, sailing their own sailboats all over Mexico, the Caribbean, south seas, and the coasts of the United States, biking in Europe, operating villas in Italy.

Comment edited on: 3/23/2011 12:25:51 PM

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CARLYG8 3/22/2011 3:48PM

    I used to love to travel too, but I think that as we get older, we crave the "comfort" more than the "experience". My hubby gets so angry with me...always asking if I want to go here..or there...and I just want to be "home". I think I don't like to go because I usually can't take my dog, and I hate...HATE...leaving him!! And it is such a major hassle coordinating all the details...ohhh!...just makes more work! (talk about sounding lazy...laughs)

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KJNLDE 3/22/2011 3:46PM

    Haha... I think that sometimes. I think it's just called "growing-up". Heck, I can't walk into a bar anymore and not want to tell everyone to talk lower! The question isn't whether or not you're now "boring", it's whether or not you are enjoying life. Are you happy? If so, that's all that matters! Would some people think that being a stay-at-home mom who's biggest recent accomplishment is becoming the co-president of the MOMs club next year is boring? Heck yes! I would have thought so a few years ago myself! But I'm loving it... and that's what matters! I'm not bored, so who cares! Buck up... give yourself a smile! emoticon

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KARENE10 3/22/2011 9:42AM

    You girl are NOT boring. I used to want to travel too. Now,I really do not have that desire. I'm not sure what the answer is though.....I do believe that AMYLONGHORN says it best:):):)

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AMYLONGHORN 3/22/2011 9:20AM

    You silly girl! You are living the life!! You have a fantastic husband (even if he makes you go to Peru to go see his family...I just get to go to Ohio *fun*), you have a great job, you have a cutie patootie dog and you have an awesome house! I say you are set...just because you don't feel the urge to be a jetsetter doesn't mean you've lost ANYTHING! And there's nothing wrong with sticking around your house...there's A LOT going on up there and you can always find something to do. The Cherry Blossoms will be out soon...!


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MONAKIN314 3/22/2011 8:33AM

    I too used to love travelling and dream of going everywhere, but now travelling just is too much work. We all change as we get older, that doesn't make us boring, just different from what we were.

And guess what we will change again, maybe become adventurous again!

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SBATES63 3/22/2011 6:22AM

    I have traveled the world, but now I prefer to explore my own country, Canada, and especially it's wilderness. There is nothing wrong with changing what you love to do, as long is it's true change and not complacency, but only you can decide that. You will figure it out.

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RUTHXG 3/21/2011 11:51PM

    I agree with Paula--you're not boring at all! I'm guessing that your low energy may be related to the extra weight, & that you'll feel more adventurous once the extra baggage is shed. (Couldn't resist that travel-themed cliché.)

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

(Just tried to find some travel emoticons--the selection is a bit clichéd too, but you catch my drift!)

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PJBOKC 3/21/2011 11:33PM

    everything has a "season". but you sound anything but boring to me!! I'm sure you'll have your "season" for travel again.

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I'm Going on a Detox Diet!

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Did that get your attention? emoticon

Well, I am! But I'm not going to use cayenne pepper or lemon juice. No green shakes nor juices. No maple syrup nor diuretics.

I ate like a pig this week. Pizza, tacos, chips... It's embarrassing to write that!

So I will detox. No ingredients I can't pronounce...almost! I can't give up the soda or my aspartame headache will happen, even though it contains phenylalanine. But just one a day. And I'm going to go buy my bread from Whole Foods. I'm going to have to hide it from the human vacuum we have living with us. I used to bake my own bread, and I'd like to start again, but it's SO MUCH WORK, and that kid will eat the entire loaf in a day with no comprehension of the work, time and love that went into it. So I'll buy from Whole Foods. The Dirty Dozen produce will come from there, too. All-natural meats, no hormones, no salt. I'm sure there will be other things I need to think of to make sure I am eating only good, solid, whole foods.

I don't think it's really going to "detox" me. I believe what they say about our bodies detoxing naturally. But I DO think I'm going to feel better after doing it. And I'm not picking a "detox diet" to follow. Just a solid diet for a week. I think that, even though I'm not detoxing, I'll feel better knowing I fed myself well with good foods.

Like an LTGL challenge, I think after I complete my one-week commitment, I won't continue as strongly, but it will make me think, and a few parts of it will stick. And I'm looking forward to it. Even though some may think you shouldn't be so rigid, I know myself, and while I know I can't keep up with this for more than a week, I know that this will make me feel like I accomplished something. So I'm looking forward to it. =)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KARENE10 3/20/2011 9:58AM

    Sounds like a plan! emoticon

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L*I*T*A* 3/19/2011 10:59PM

    all the best with it............ emoticon

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JMCADE 3/19/2011 9:40PM

    Great change for you. I like the sound of this detox. Had me scaraed there for a minute!

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AMYLONGHORN 3/19/2011 5:06PM

    GOOD LUCK with this! Sounds like a plan to me! You'll have a good start with the boys being away this weekend!

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ROCKPORT9 3/19/2011 4:40PM

    Isn't it great that your body says enough! That is always progress. emoticon

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RUTHXG 3/19/2011 11:53AM

    Sounds great! Gradually you'll find that you LIKE "solid, whole foods" better than processed junk. Your body will learn!

Have fun cooking! Are you going to try new recipes too?

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BREWMASTERBILL 3/19/2011 10:57AM

    Cool. It sounds like you're aware that a "detox diet" does not possess magical properties. It's all about eating less, moving more.

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What to Do?

Friday, March 18, 2011

I'm home alone.

Not completely alone. Sammy's here with me. But my husband and my exchange son are gone. It's a little lonely and a little peaceful.

But I don't know what to do with myself. Here are my ideas:

1. Watch a ton of TV.
2. Vacuum my rug.
3. Go to the diner by myself with the paper.
4. Change the sheets.
5. Sweep and mop the bedroom floor.
6. Work on my Rosetta Stone.
7. Clean the water stains off my kitchen table.
8. Go to the gym (done that once already).

It all sounds so BORING. I wish that I had friends that could come over and play games and hang out with me. But I don't. Part of me is really cool with all this, and part of me is lonely and sad about it.

Anyway. I wanted to ask y'all what I should do with this time by myself. What should I do with this time by myself?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KARENE10 3/20/2011 9:53AM

    Wow~ I am really late reading this blog,wondering what you did wind up doing? I would do a little bit of everything. Friday nights I'm usually alone. Sometimes I'll go out to dinner with friends but if no one is around I'll pop in an exercise tape(dancing type or yoga) then make myself a nice "diet"dinner(you know the kind husband would not like), and then give myself a mani/pedi and watch TV while it's drying. If I had an entire weekend then I'd set some time aside to clean and go out on a really long walk. If I had money I'd be shopping up a storm:)
Have fun!!!

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RUTHXG 3/19/2011 10:47AM

    Oh, since it's the weekend-plus, I think you should do a combination of things! A bit of extra exercise, maybe some new kind that you hadn't tried before. Maybe two cleaning tasks. A Rosetta Stone session on Saturday, another Sunday afternoon. And reward yourself in between with some rich, restorative activities like listening to beautiful music, doing whatever you do to nurture yourself spiritually, working on your writing, taking a long walk in a nature preserve . . .

You definitely need to plan for the rewarding activities--don't PUNISH yourself for being alone! Rather, see it as an opportunity to manage your own time & nurture yourself without having to attend to others' needs/demands.

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BEATLETOT 3/19/2011 10:06AM

    Oh, I suppose I should clarify. I'm home alone till Monday night. And I can't decide if I should be productive spiritually, intellectually, with housecleaning, externally, in another way or all of the above, and if all of the above, in what ratios.

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CONTESSA63 3/19/2011 7:42AM

  soooooo. what did you end up doing???

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HOPESINGH 3/19/2011 6:10AM

    Ummm... read a book? daydream? dance to some favorite music? listen to your favorite music extremely loudly because nobody can tell you they hate it (well, that might be just me, I love Indian music and unfortunately nobody around me thinks it's even bearable).
In other words, I'd love to be alone in your place for a while. Wanna change places? emoticon

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RUTHXG 3/18/2011 10:29PM

    Ooops, I think I'm too late! (Though I'm not sure where you live.) I had several fun possibilities for tonight, but I came home instead because I desperately need to finish preparing for the advanced editing class I'm teaching for the first time NEXT WEEK (Thursday-Saturday) . . . but I'm just too tired to think creatively.

So for my part, I'm going to put away clean laundry & maybe wash the dishes that I don't put in the dishwasher . . . after I play a word game for a while. Do you play word games? I love them.

I hope it's comforting to know that you aren't the only one home alone & not doing anything especially exciting! Not every Friday night has to be social & lots of fun. Tell us what you ended up doing, OK?

emoticon to you, Brenda!

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AMYLONGHORN 3/18/2011 10:12PM

    Hmmmm....if it were me, I'd get a glass of Riesling and get in a bubble bath and read my Cosmo...but that's just me! ;)

Out of all the things you listed, I would end up watching TV! Actually, that IS what I am doing tonight...have quite a bit of catching up on Days of our Lives...FOUR episodes behind! Two down, two to go...but now the Rangers are on with a spring training game, so we're watching that for now, BUT I am super tired, so I will probably be even LAMER and go to bed soon!

Have a good night, no matter what you do!


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CARLYG8 3/18/2011 9:33PM

    Hmmmm...for me, I am BIG into spring cleaning right now. I think that if I had an extra minute tonight, I would go through the closet, and get rid of some old clothes, so that I could make room for some new ones. I spent the whole day outside, raking and getting flower beds ready...and I am tired of digging in the dirt...never thought I would ever say that!..but my back and my hip are killing me right now. I signed on to post my exercise for the day, and now I have to work on putting together a bible study for a new womens group at church. I have all the notes I have put together, now I just have to compile them into a "lesson". You could come help me type up all these notes....sounds like loads of fun, right?? Ohhh, and I am wanting to go through some cookbooks, or sparkrecipes, or something, and find some new recipes for spring. I am tired of eating the same old stuff over and over and over. I hope you find something interesting to get "into" tonight...

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On a Bender

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Okay, so since I wrote my last blog, I've been eating like a maniac. I've so completely overeaten this week, I can't even believe it. How do I stop this? I don't even know. I go to bed at night saying, tomorrow will be better, and I wake up saying, today will be better, but then I EAT.

So, any suggestions you have would be most appreciated. Just by writing this, I feel more like I can get past this. I'm just completely creeped out, because yes, obviously, I've eaten more than my fair share of calories over the last few years, but I wasn't really thinking about it, you know? And now, I am, but I can't seem to stop it. It's disconcerting.

Anyway, I'm committing tonight to a healthy meal. I have cooked kale in my fridge. I hope it's still good! Tomorrow, I'm off work, so I can go shopping for the foods that have kept me in my calorie range in the past, like apples. I'm going to buy some more pop, because part of my problem has been stopping in the morning to get a soda at 7-Eleven, and then I wind up walking out with a bag of chips (justified by its small size), taquitos (which I'm pretty sure are made with crack, because I'm addicted), peanut M&Ms (which I'd been craving) or a sausage biscuit. Not all at once, but some combination of the above. Ugh.

Got to get off this train. I hope that tonight, I will.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GO-LOEW 3/16/2011 10:57PM

    Sorry you feel so out of control. It is the worst feeling. The only way I have ever managed to successfully control my eating, craving, binging is to eat only whole foods, the fresher the better. I can't eat any processed foods or I find myself losing my ability to say no. I think processed foods don't give us the nutrients we need and thus we are craving foods to try to fill the nutritional requirements. You can type whole food diet in Google search and gets lots of ideas on what to do. It is hard, especially for those of us who find ourselves addicted to sugary, fatty, salty goodies, but it sure has been worth it to me to be able to lose some weight and get much more healthy.

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RUTHXG 3/16/2011 6:36PM

    OK, so this bender is something you NEEDED, to be able to include it in your future account of "how I got back to the thin version of my cuteness & how you can too"--& now it's over, right? Because you've been offered SO many great ideas here! I totally agree about tricking yourself into being good--planning meals ahead, even tracking ahead; giving yourself just $1 & hiding the purse; drinking tons of water, especially when you're craving. Strategies that you can also include in your future account, whichever ones work especially well for you.

You're such a good writer! It's always fun to read your blogs.


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KJNLDE 3/16/2011 2:11PM

    Oh we've all been there! But instead of feeling bad about it, you need to get over it! I find that when I change habits in the middle of the day instead of "starting tomorrow", that seems to help. It's so easy to fall off the wagon... so hard to get on... but know that you're not alone!! Sometimes it helps to plan out all your meals AND snacks for one day ahead, so you know that what you've planned on is all you can eat. That helps... to not have choices! Good luck!!

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JENBELLE 3/16/2011 1:18PM

    Totally! I have been there with you. I keep sabotaging myself and it's ridiculous! I love all the ideas that people have mentioned on here and I find that once I'm in the zone of healthy eating what works is planning ahead. Making sure I have grapes in the car and a waterbottle instead of stopping for something and getting myself in trouble! Let us know how it goes the rest of the week!

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EYES_ON_THEPRAZ 3/16/2011 12:45PM

    Ahh... it happens. I agree that you need to stay away from 7-11!! I stop there sometimes for a coffee (my once or twice weekly treat) but what I do is hide my purse under the seat in my car, lock it in there, and just go in with the $1 I need for my coffee refill. They're always offering me 2 for 1 donuts and muffins but I'm like No thanks! And it's good because I only have that $1 so I don't/can't allow myself to get anything else!
I made kale chips last week for the first time and now I'm addicted. A little olive oil and salt and I swear these are pretty close to potato chips when you close your eyes. I hope your kale is still good!

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AMYLONGHORN 3/16/2011 9:09AM

    Thinking about eating SUCKS, doesn't it?! LOL I know what you mean about cravings...yesterday on my drive home, I craved Taco Bell (want to try their new Pacific Shrimp Tacos), Which Wich (saw a commercial for it the other day) and this Chinese food restaurant called QQ My Buffet (never been before, but we got a menu on our door and DAMN it sounds good). But instead of all that, I had some of Chris's mom's meatloaf, green beans and potatoes for dinner. Being "good" is no fun...til you get on the scale!! Good idea to buy your coke and take it to work to avoid 7-11...I have to take my breakfast AND lunch to work to stay out of the cafeteria. So far so good...good luck with that!!

P.S. I keep wanting to call you, so hopefully we can catch up when you're off work the next couple days! HUGS!!

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ZALES127 3/16/2011 9:01AM

    I hear ya! My thing..which I think I have made mention of in every single one of my blog posts and replies to other blogs..has been drinking water. I hate water. I do..but its making such a huge difference in everything. I used to drink at least 8 glasses of diet Mt. Dew a day. Now, Im lucky to finish 1.Water has been my saving grace. I fell off the wagon this weekend when I had family over and didnt drink nearly enough water and Monday, I wanted to go on a bender. Everything seemed to look good and I had a major sweet tooth. Now I know.

I agree do anything you can to stay away from 7-11. Its soo easy to just grab something "small". Which can be so detromental. Just get yourself back on the horse and dont beat yourself up too much. Everyone gets off track every now and then. Its expected.

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