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Wednesday, February 23, 2011

I don't know what to write about.

I've started this blog post four times already, but everything has seemed too banal to even write down, much less subject anyone else to having to read. But, since I want my five points, I'll put down some random thoughts.

Sammy is sleeping in my husband's lap right now, on his back. He's very cute, with his little paws flopping down, and his little brown and orange sweater. I can't believe how great this dog is, and I can't believe he went unadopted so long. People missed out. I think the next time I get to choose a dog, I'll choose another blind, deaf one, but only if it's as cute and sweet as Little Sam-Sam.

Last night, I had my first voice lesson. She said I was good, better than most on their first lesson, and that I have a good tone and resonance. I do have a little bit of background from high school choir, church choir and voice lessons back then, but I haven't sung outside my shower or a karaoke bar in about a dozen years. I'm doing voice lessons just for me, just on a hobby basis, so I sound better in the shower. emoticon

I liked her a lot. She's my age and very cool. I went through a period where I was really sad, because my group of friends kind of drifted apart (okay, so it was broken asunder by a really stupid, selfish move of one of my friends, but the other way is nicer to say). I could see this girl being a friend. Maybe not as long as I have a business arrangement with her, but it would be really cool.

She asked me to think of some songs I might like to sing during the lesson. Today, I was thinking about "Let the Sunshine In" from "Hair." I also had been thinking "When the Lights Go Down in the City" by Journey or "Don't Let It End" by Styx or "They Bring Me to You" by Joshua Radin. I can get to all of them eventually, I'm sure. I'm going to keep her for awhile! Any other suggestions are most welcome!

I ate a Healthy Choice entree today, and it was really good! I love, love, love the Asian Potstickers, and every other one I tried could never measure up, but finally, we have a serious contender. It was the Portabella Parmesan Risotto one. Yum! I ate everything today as planned. Burnt Crockpot Oatmeal in the morning (maybe not totally as planned!), Triscuits and a Laughing Cow wedge for a snack, and my HC with string cheese and an apple for lunch. Dinner is so hard to plan, but I didn't overeat, and I did really well today on my eating.

Right now, we're watching the Bayern-Muenchen v. Internazionale Milan soccer game. Well, the boys are watching it. I'm looking up when something cool happens. emoticon

I also made it to the gym for 45 minutes. I got my 191 in! Actually, now it's 192! emoticon But I still need to go back to burn at least another 200 for the week. I'll do that on Friday.

I hope I didn't bore you too much! Love! emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RUTHXG 2/26/2011 12:33PM

    Anyone who uses the word "banal" is not capable of writing boring blog posts. I'm glad I could take a break from superwomaning to read this one!

I think it's perfectly lovely that you're taking voice lessons. It's so satisfying to put work into developing a talent.


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TLCFME 2/24/2011 10:00PM

    Good wanderings. Interesting. You go girl. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KARENE10 2/24/2011 9:31AM

    I'm going to have to try those Asian Potstickers by Healthy Choice~I love the more fattening ones from the restaurants:)

Sammy sounds sooo cute. We also adopted a great dog. I don't know how his owners could get rid of him,he is precious. Sammy is lucky to have you as his mom:)

Great job on getting some exercise in!

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AMYLONGHORN 2/24/2011 8:41AM

    Good song choices! I especially love the Joshua Radin one...I'm so glad I was able to introduce you to him. YUM!

HEY speaking of church choir...remember that song Moses? Well, I told the youth choir kids about it and they convinced their director to sing it! "Mosessssssss, way out there in the wildernessssssssssssss, saw some smoke, came to the bussssssssssh!" LOL

BTW good blog for not having much to say! emoticon

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GRACIOUSGRAPE 2/24/2011 8:02AM

    Very cool that you are following your dream, just for you! I have always wanted to play the piano so maybe some day I will take piano lessons. For now though I am following another dream - to become a nurse - so not much room on my plate for my other dreams at this time. Great job on the exercise and sticking with your goals! The Starfish team is awesome!

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CARLYG8 2/23/2011 10:35PM

    Oh, how I wish that I could sing, but unfortunately it is not one of my God given talents. I always joke and tell people to listen for me when we all get to heaven because I will be singing the loudest when I can actually sing...laughs. I love music, and have written some lyrics that a friend puts to music, so I guess thats something. I love American Idol. And I love Steven Tyler. I love his spirit. You can't fake that.
Oh, and I don't think there is anything wrong with blogging random thoughts...good discussions usually arise.
"See" ya tomorrow!

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JMCADE 2/23/2011 9:49PM

    Great day for you today.

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EYES_ON_THEPRAZ 2/23/2011 9:38PM

    Your dog is such a sweetie! I wish I could have a dog.
That's really cool that you're taking voice lessons! I am a TERRIBLE singer, though I am constantly getting up at karaoke (usually with a friend)... well, after a couple drinks!
I love the songs you picked

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4LEEFCLOVER 2/23/2011 9:32PM

    That's really cool that you are going to be developing your singing ability. You know, the breathing you do for that could be helpful with stopping smoking. You could have your teacher give you some breathing exercises and you could do them when you have the impulse to smoke, instead, or at least make yourself do them before smoking, and maybe you will distract yourself enough and sing a song instead! I bet there are some type of local singing groups you could join if you want to challenge yourself more later. I bet your teacher knows about some groups. I had a coworker a few years ago who joined a male a cappella group and really enjoyed it. He really liked the group "Straight No Chaser". I found some great songs by them on iTunes. I find it interesting to figure out what key or keys songs are in by ear. I used to play my flute by ear with songs I liked. The deep breathing, posture and diaphragm thing is really good for you too. (Why does diaphragm have a "g" in it? LOL) Well, have fun with that.

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IBECCA 2/23/2011 8:47PM


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Distracted by Jelly Beans

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

For some reason, while I was sitting at Jackson Hewitt this afternoon, working on taxes, I really wanted jelly beans. So I went next door to the grocery store and got some. I didn't go out of control with them, probably ate 2 servings, and now I'm spent with them, so they'll go on the top shelf where I can't reach.

But it wasn't good. Between that and the sushi buffet for lunch, I'm already over my calories. I probably won't eat dinner or will eat something very small for dinner, like a little cup of soup or something. And I'm not way over, just 50 over at this point, but it's not good, not for day 4 of the challenge!

I'm feeling very tired this afternoon, too. Probably from all-you-can-eat sushi. At this point, I'm not planning to go to the gym, but enough motivation from reading y'all's blogs might get me there, and if not, I have a solid 4 hours before I can expect the exchange student home, so I can do some weights while I watch the telly.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JENBELLE 2/23/2011 10:42PM

    How crazy! ALL I wanted yesterday was jellybeans too! My coworker had Mike and Ikes- they were good but I had to stop myself! Keep up the good work- don't worry about the little extra!

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AMYLONGHORN 2/23/2011 10:11AM

    Soooooo here's a little angel/devil action for ya. Did you make it to the gym? Or did you do weights? What kind of jelly beans did you get? Jelly Belly? (guess which were the angel questions and which were the devil questions! LOL)

OK and now you made me want sushi, too...le sigh!!

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BOBBIEED 2/23/2011 9:00AM

    When this happens to me hon I either put in that dvd or go to the exercise videos here on Sparkpeople. If you have time before the student gets home then you can get in 10 minutes here and there. Remember always that you can do can't fail if you don't quit!

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MUNCHIE718 2/22/2011 8:35PM

  I hear ya-- I broke down & had some peanut M&Ms today! emoticon I'd say have a light, healthy dinner & ditch the rest of the jellybeans so you aren't tempted to have more tomorrow. emoticon

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KJNLDE 2/22/2011 7:48PM

    Don't beat yourself up over it... tomorrow is a new day! 50 calories over isn't that bad. But don't starve yourself!! Have a salad with grilled chicken. I find that when I know that I'm going somewhere like a buffet, if I decide what I'm going to eat beforehand and put it in my tracker, it helps me to stick to that. Also, if I plan out dinner and put that in, I'll know just how many calories I have to work with if what I planned for the buffet goes over.

I hear you about jelly beans! I laughed when I saw the title of this blog... my hubby and I were just talking at dinner tonight about how Easter is the worst holiday for me because I LOVE Easter candy! I'm already knowing I'm going to have to work hard now to take off for just a few days to get in some of it!

But keep your head up... you're doing great!!

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KAREN_NY 2/22/2011 7:35PM

    There's still time! ;) Sometimes - like tonight because I was slumping too! - I have to say, "Ok - I'm going to do this for 10 minutes and then I can stop"... but after 10 minutes I'm over the hump and kick it for a while longer. :) Rock it!

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LINDEE6 2/22/2011 5:48PM

    Candy really does call our names at times! The gym just needs to call louder!

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MOMMYOMG 2/22/2011 5:08PM

    Gym! Gym! Gym! Just kidding! I don't think I am going to make it to the gym tonight either but I am going to try to run around the neighborhood. As long as the jelly beans are now on the top shelf out of reach---you should be ok!!!

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JMCADE 2/22/2011 4:38PM

    I think your tiredness is from the sugar. Happend to me when i get near the cndy dish. You'll feel better if you get some exercise in. Even if it is 15 minutes. Go forth and conquer!!

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EYES_ON_THEPRAZ 2/22/2011 4:21PM

    over by 150 isn't *too* bad. I went over at least 100 yesterday. I try not to stress too much when I go over by a small amount (not binge-like numbers) because I figure my body needed it (ok maybe not jelly beans, but still) and I can make it up the next day or with my exercise.
you can do it!!!

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RUTHXG 2/22/2011 2:53PM

    Let the jellybeans motivate you! You're feeling tired now (I'm actually guessing that's from the jellybean sugar more than from the sushi), but it will feel SO great to get in some good exercise tonight. At the gym or at home with weights, doesn't matter, but give your body what it really needs (& it will give us Madagascar air miles too!). That will absolve you of any guilt from going over your calorie count today. emoticon

emoticon emoticon

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SASSACAIA 2/22/2011 2:37PM

    Get to the gym! We need the points! I want to win this challenge!! emoticon

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

MMMMMmmmMmMmmmMMMMM. Sushi.

Comment edited on: 2/22/2011 2:37:54 PM

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Failed the Talk Test

Monday, February 21, 2011

When I was at the gym, riding my bike, reading my book, I got a call. It was my sister! We talked for a few minutes, and at one point, she asked where I was. That's when I realized that I could not possibly have been working out hard enough, because I didn't sound the least bit winded. This is my normal bike workout--I like to read while I'm working out. But in the future, I need to work much harder on the bike, even if it hurts my reading and comprehension. Probably I should stick to the elliptical, it's easier to get a workout while I read.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RUTHXG 2/22/2011 2:49PM

    Very cool that Amy's call made you realize this! Have fun intensifying your workout & getting satisfyingly sweaty! emoticon

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EYES_ON_THEPRAZ 2/22/2011 11:31AM

    Good call! Sometimes we get comfortable in our routines and don't realize how much more we could push it! I have tried to read on the elliptical but it makes me dizzy! emoticon

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MOMMYOMG 2/22/2011 9:23AM

    Yesterday was my first time on the Treadmill watching a tv....I felt a little uncoordinated. I had to really focus. I didn't have my Ipod with me because I thought I was going to Zumba but class was cancelled. Next time, bringing the Ipod. As someone stated above, I think recorded books would be good for you---I'd like to try some myself.

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BOBBIEED 2/22/2011 9:13AM

    I find that the longer I work at something the better I get and the hard I have to work to get that 'working out' feeling. You are doing great. Hang in there hon!

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AMYLONGHORN 2/22/2011 8:37AM

    YAY I contributed to your AH HA moment! SAWEET!!! I know you felt like you weren't doing "much," but just getting to the gym is AWESOME! I know you work hard when you go in there, so keep it up, even if you feel like you need to step it up a bit! LOVE YOU!!!

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SEAWAVE 2/22/2011 8:16AM

    Maybe recorded books would work for you, now that you're ready for more vigorous workouts and can't read. You're doing great, though, if you've gotten to that point without even noticing - thank God for phone calls from sisters!
emoticon emoticon

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SASSACAIA 2/22/2011 8:15AM

    I've always found that I work harder on the elliptical as opposed to the bike - I don't know why that is, or if it's just me. Either way, it's good to shake it up and surprise your body! But good for you for getting to the gym in the first place, emoticon!

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GO-LOEW 2/22/2011 12:03AM

    I like to wear my heart-rate monitor so I can tell when I am in the "zone" and then I settle in for the walk or bike ride. I figure I will get some more intense training when I ride up hills when I know I won't be able to talk and just hope the alarm doesn't go off telling me I have topped out the zone.

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KIMBERLY2313 2/21/2011 10:14PM

    Isnt it funny how something so simple can make have an ah ha moment lol. Why not reading for awhile then putting some music on and kickin butt for awhile..always good to switch up what you doing :) Keep up that great work!! emoticon

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CARLYG8 2/21/2011 7:59PM

    I tried reading once on the elliptical....made me motion sick. I was so dizzy, and thought I was gonna be sick. I do better with music, and will stick to my ipod. Although, the ellipticals at the gym have a tv screen. A couple of times, I have watched tv...that wasnt too bad.

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FRANKIEMOMMY 2/21/2011 7:09PM

    Well that's one way to learn you need to pick it up karmic communication lol! Good luck with all your goals emoticon

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Looking Forward

Sunday, February 20, 2011

I think I've said this in my main SparkPage: I've been "working on" quitting smoking for about seven years.

One of my more recent "work on"s was with a therapist. I wish I could say "addiction specialist," but not only did I really dislike the guy, it turned out when I looked him up on my insurance website, he was NOT an addiction specialist, even though he said he could help me (I called his practice because the director of the practice had addictions listed).

But I digress.

Anyway, while I was talking to the guy, he kept trying to convince me there was still something in smoking I liked or found cool to which I was clinging, which I am definitely NOT. I really, really dislike smoking, but I'm really, really addicted to it, and that's my problem.

But I think there is something in QUITTING smoking that I like. Maybe not quite, but that, after seven years of being in this weird limbo, that it's become a part of my identity. I'm not an ex-smoker, a former smoker, or even a real smoker anymore. I'm just a smoker who's trying to quit. And that's something with which I identify. And that's what's got to change.

So there's that.

Then, this week, something really awful and tragic happened to someone I really care about. I went to be with him, and he was really hung up on what had happened, and he was overcome with guilt. I sat with him, and I talked to him and tried to make him understand that we can't live in the past, even if it was just yesterday, that we can only look forward. Later, I heard from someone geographically closer that he was beginning to forgive himself.

After I left him, I realized that I need to understand that, too. What's past is past. I can't change the last seven years. I can only look forward, and I don't have to identify myself as anybody from before. I can shake it away and start right now. And that's what I will do.

Thank you, kiddo.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOMMYOMG 2/22/2011 5:16PM

    My parents have smoked for 30+ years and I wish sooooooo badly that they could quit. I have never smoked and am so thankful. My mom really wants to quit right now (she is a 3rd year survivor of breast cancer) and even that did not motivate her enough to actually quit. So I am hoping and praying for her now which is all that I can do. I will do it for you as well. If you believe in your heart you can do it...I think you truly can! SO GO FOR IT!

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RUTHXG 2/22/2011 2:46PM

    I left a comment here a day or two ago but don't see it now! I must have forgotten to hit "post comment." What I remember saying is that here at SP we don't think of you as a smoker. We have never seen you smoke--every time you mention it I get a little jolt of surprise, because I DON'T THINK OF YOU WITH A CIGARETTE IN YOUR HAND! That's not your identity here. I hope that fact strengthens you in your hard work to be who you truly are!

So proud of you! emoticon

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KJNLDE 2/21/2011 5:09PM

    YAY to looking forward! You have SUCH a positive outlook and this blog really is uplifting! Just realizing these things is such a huge step towards quitting!

I don't know if this helps or not, but my dad actually went to a hypno-therapist when I was around 10 or so to quit smoking. And it actually worked! He hasn't touched one in over 20 years!

Whatever the route you take, you are def on the right path!! emoticon

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DESERTNATIVE1 2/21/2011 12:33PM

    "What's past is past" - i need to remind myself of that several times a day! Like yourself, I, too, cannot change the the last two years. We must continue to look forward. I really like the comment by Julighter - the observation that the review mirror is smaller than the windshield! I guess that means we are supposed to be looking FORWARD!!

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AMYLONGHORN 2/21/2011 10:40AM

    Still thinking of you and your student...I know he appreciates your support, and probably doesn't even realize how much he helped you, too, while you were helping him! BIG HUGS to ya and good luck with the smoking...I hope you can stick with it.

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JMCADE 2/20/2011 9:45PM

    I have never smoked, but I do understand from family members how addicting it can be. So I can understand the difficulty of quitting. But more importantly, I think you have had an AHA moment (just like the one that brought us to Spark). I hope that this will be the spark that helps you over the addiction.

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KAREN_NY 2/20/2011 8:48PM

    Cheers to a fabulous future! Adventure & good spirit,

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JULIGHTER 2/20/2011 8:48PM

    This is great! I once heard the rearview mirror is really small, but the winsheild is so much larger! Who drives backwards?

Have you ever tried cutting back on smoking like 10-9-8 etc.? I hear that works.

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CONTESSA63 2/20/2011 7:05PM

  Here's to looking forward.

What a wonderful blog. You gave me something to think about and made me smile.

Thank you! emoticon

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CARLYG8 2/20/2011 6:35PM

    You know something that helped me...I watched other people smoke after I quit. Seriously, watch somebody smoke. They are rather funny looking...the big inhale...I pictured them as cartoon characters in my head and made it all look so way I could be a smoker and have somebody watch me look funny...

Try it...and stay strong...YOU CAN DO IT!!

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MELLIL 2/20/2011 4:26PM

    I quit smoking 14 years ago. I was smoking 3 packs a day when I quit, and I quit cold turkey. I bought myself 2 bags of hard candy, and MANY skeins of yarn, and I kept my mouth and my hands busy ... at ALL times! That was all it took for me... but understanding that THAT may not be enough for you, I will share that a local friend of mine is having a REALLY hard time trying to quit - but she found out that there is a program through our local hospital that will give her Chantix FREE - if she take the ALSO FREE smoking cessation class there. Maybe you should contact your local hospital and see if they have such a program. I have heard that Chantix is VERY GOOD! Blessings on your efforts!

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4LEEFCLOVER 2/20/2011 4:15PM

    If you are smoking right NOW, stop. You can change the now; choose something else to do now, over and over. When you find yourself smoking again, stop, don't finish the cig. Do something else. Make a list of other things you can do, and put it in your pocket or wallet. Maybe write down how you are feeling, why you want or don't want to smoke or something completely different. Make yourself walk up and down the stairs for every time you want to smoke. Play with your dog. Make lunches for the week. Do deep breathing. Every time you are aware, it is a new NOW. You have some great NOWs ahead of you. Good Luck!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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RUTHXG 2/20/2011 3:53PM

    Isn't it cool how sometimes the words we find ourselves saying to help others reverberate & turn out to be exactly what we ourselves needed to hear . . .

I only know you virtually, BT, & every single time you mention smoking it takes me aback! I have never seen you smoking, & for me that's not part of your identity. Don't know if it helps at all, but I'll say it plainly: HERE AT SPARKPEOPLE YOU ARE NOT A SMOKER. (Do starfish ever smoke? Why no, they don't!) You are someone who is working on becoming healthy & strong. And you're already clever & cute. So there.

Hey, it will be WAY cool if your OTHER sis joins SP too! And thanks for clarifying about the 191. Let's see, if I exercise 5 days that's a little under 40 minutes per session . . . doable!


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KRISTA64 2/20/2011 3:36PM

    You are a beautiful and insightful person...your friend was lucky to have you around to help.
Your future looks bright!!!!

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Getting my 10-pointer!

Saturday, February 19, 2011

So for 5% Challenge, we get a 10-point bonus for doing a blog that says the following:

Your expectations (3), goals (3), and your reasons for changing your life!

So, here I go. I had the pre-Challenge assignment, but it wasn't in this format, so I want to do it this way, too.

Expectations. This one's weird. Expectations for myself? Or the Challenge? Or my Team? I dunno. I'll do for myself. It's the one thing over which I have control:
1. NO SMOKING! No matter what. Not an option. Period.
2. Pull my weight on the team with regard to exercise. This week, it's 191 minutes.
3. Stay within my calorie range recommended by Spark.

1. Get two months smoke-free under my belt during the Challenge.
2. Lose 5% of my weight.
3. Build a consistent fitness program.
4. Learn to stay within my calorie range everyday.

Reasons for Changing My Life:
1. Living longer
2. Being cuter
3. Feeling better about myself
4. Moving forward and becoming someone who does new things and learns more

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AMYLONGHORN 2/21/2011 10:37AM

    I think you're cute already! LOL

Let's do it to it, sister! I love you tons and am so glad we are doing this TOGETHER! We're already off to a GREAT start...keep it up!

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KAREN_NY 2/20/2011 8:47PM

    You are so cute! Love your plan - totally sound and really ADMIRABLE. Quitting smoking is so hard... I quit 20 years ago, but it was running and making other healthy choices that made me really give up the very last smoke. You'll be fine, and we'll be tellin' ya... ROCK THE DAY!!!


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KJNLDE 2/20/2011 1:09PM

    Great goals!! I want to be cuter too!! Yay for the better looking us!! Cigarettes are no match for you! My hubby quit cold turkey about 8 years ago. He said after about 2 weeks it was easier and the dreams went away after about a year. You can do this!!

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LOUANN22 2/20/2011 12:33PM

    Thank you for the blog comment. Much appreciated! You can make you goals I know it! I'm here for you and if you need any help or support with the no smoking I am here for you! I'm almost 2 months smoke free now GO US!! emoticon

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RUTHXG 2/20/2011 12:27AM

    This is a great blog post. Only thing is, as a professional editor I have to tell you that one word is missing.

The word is "even," in reason #2.

Being EVEN cuter!

We emoticon you! You are going to do GREAT in this challenge! And how cool is it that you recruited your sister to the team?!

P.S. No one else has remarked on it, but I find the number 191 quite hilarious. emoticon

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EYES_ON_THEPRAZ 2/19/2011 8:50PM

    emoticon emoticon
Lean on us when you need support!

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CARLYG8 2/19/2011 7:41PM

    I know that it is not easy to quit smoking, but you have to do the time, and it gets a little better every day. I will warn you that at around six months clean...all of a sudden you will want to smoke..and you will want it BAD...but you have to resist. I think that it is your body's last attempt to make you give it what it wants...and then it is gone. I quit cold turkey on Mothers day 2000, and haven't had a cigarette since. YOU CAN DO IT!!!

emoticon GO STARFISH!

(I am going to wear out that little starfish emoticon during this challenge...laughs)

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LINDEE6 2/19/2011 7:07PM

    Such admirable plans! You are certain to succeed!

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GO-LOEW 2/19/2011 5:17PM

    You will feel so much better without smoking and losing 5%. Let the team help you if you need us.


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BOBBIEED 2/19/2011 5:16PM

    Great goals hon. But you are already as cute as a my mom would have said *LOL*
Go emoticon

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JMCADE 2/19/2011 4:21PM

    What good goals for you. You WILL do well this 8 weeks I feel it. make things happen for you. See it and it will happen.

Go fellow Starfish, together we will get there.

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SHREKWARD 2/19/2011 3:48PM


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MEZZOJO 2/19/2011 3:42PM


Good luck with the challenge!!!

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DOLPHINFAN1334 2/19/2011 3:36PM


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