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Trying to Climb Out of a Hole and Sliding Back In

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Meal planning. It's driving me insane.

I don't really know what to do. For 5% Challenge, I had decided I was going to use Spark meal plans, but then, when I tried to organize them, I realized they kind of blow. I'm sure they're good for some people, but some of it was weird. Like, applesauce at dinner, and drinking glasses of milk like I'm five. Plus, I figured with two grown men, one of whom is 23 and appears to have a hollow leg, living in my house, I'd need to quintuple the amounts for the grocery list, causing the grocery list to have ridiculous things like "80 stalks of celery."

So I figured I would see what the calorie ranges, carbs, fat, protein, fiber and sodium were, and then I'd prepare around that. And that was HARD. I found about 25 good recipes in SparkRecipes, then I tried to maneuver them around, so I could have the grocery list. I got through breakfast and lunch of one day, and then the tedium set in. And I couldn't imagine planning anymore.

At this point, it was 4pm. And I'd been at this almost nonstop since 9am.

How did I waste an entire Saturday? And what am I going to do?

Add to this that I am a good grocery shopper--coupons, shopping around circulars, saving boatloads of money, and my head started to spin. It's completely overwhelming, and it makes me hate grocery shopping. A year ago, it was my hobby, and before today, I was already feeling grocery fatigued. Now, I've almost developed a phobia.

So what the hell am I going to eat for the next nine weeks? How am I going to plan it? Now I understand the draw to those meal plans where they deliver the meals daily to your house, but the shopping ninja in me cannot conceive of spending that kind of money.

If anyone can toss me an insights, tips, and a rope, I'd really appreciate it, because I feel like I'm right back to where I was this morning, with not even a change in attitude towards food. At this rate, I'm going to be overeating for this challenge just like I did for the last one.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CARLYG8 2/19/2011 7:50PM

    I have found it difficult at times to plan, being a vegetarian and my family being meat-eaters, and trying to eat healthier...and well it is enough to make a person crazy. I just kind of went simple with it. We know what we should and should not be eating. We know how much we should be eating (portion control). So I basically eat what I know to be healthy and nutritious, in smaller portions and I seemed to be able to stay within my calorie range almost everyday (sometimes under)with little or no thought involved...well, there is some thought...but I'm not as crazy....(laughs!)

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MISSMOONROCK 2/12/2011 8:03PM

    I wanted to try meal plans but then I don't always know what I feel like making until that evening, or whichever. Sounds far to complicated.

What I do is just track my calories & nutrition. Get the basics if you don't already have them, and anything extra if you want to make a certain dish. Then calculate the calories in the whole dish before eating any of it. That way you still know what's up.

Remember, doing everything perfectly to the book doesn't typically work. If it gets too complicated then you'll likely be tempted to throw it all out the window. You have to take each day as it comes and just work with it =)

p.s. Also remember that the less one thinks about food is generally better.

Comment edited on: 2/12/2011 8:03:44 PM

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RUTHXG 2/12/2011 7:57PM

    I think the trick is to identify some go-to recipes that are really good for you & that you really like! Here are some of mine: dhal, red-lentil-cauliflower-coconut curry, Boston-style baked beans, vegetarian chili, sweet potato chicken stew. Those work for either lunch or supper.

Simplify your choices for breakfast & lunch. I periodically make a big batch of nutty muesli (a recipe I invented), & then have it every morning with milk, an organic banana, blueberries if I have them, extra cinnamon, skim milk. Maybe a tangerine or a small glass of juice. That's breakfast--often my biggest meal, but simple & quick.

For lunch, I might make a batch of tuna salad & have that on sandwiches for a week, with a few baby carrots & a piece of fruit. Or I might take a serving of one of the hot foods of the week, plus the carrots & fruit.

For supper, I make a couple of batches of favorite dishes, plus a batch of brown rice or quinoa, & then take turns eating them down. If I feel like something different one night, I might scramble eggs with mushroom & spinach or kale.

This gives me variety from week to week, though not lots of variety day to day. I'm fine with that! There's always the option to go out occasionally too. (Remember my trick for that: pretty much ignore the high-carb foods & just focus on protein & veggies.)

If you look over the calories & other nutrients for a day on Ruth's Good Food Diet, you'll see that they pretty much add up to what you want. For the grown men, two or three times what you eat should suffice, but this isn't super expensive fare.

Does any of this help? You can figure out BeatleTot's Good Food Diet too, I have no doubt!

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5% Challenge Goal Blog

Saturday, February 12, 2011

What do you want to change? Well, that's purely vanity. I want to change my shape, and be cute again. I used to be super-cute, and you know what? When I was super-cute, I didn't even realize it.

How do you want to look? Mostly thinner, but I'd also like to have toned arms. I'd like to be able to show my belly button ring off. I love it just for me, but I don't think I've bared my midriff in at least five years.

How do you want to feel? Cute. On par with all the pretty girls at work. There are so many gorgeous girls at my office! I feel like I'm working at a beauty pageant. I could never wear as much makeup as the "pretty girls" do, but I'd take having a figure closer to one of theirs.

What things will you be able to do in the future with a slimmer healthier body? Bare my midriff (see above), take a good photo, go to my high school reunion this year and be a bit close to how I was in high school, at least so I won't feel like people are talking. You know, it's odd, though. In high school, I was super-cute (see above), but no one paid much mind to me in that regard. But I'd still be nervous they'd think, geez, look at all the weight BeatleTot gained...and in a bad way, I want to have the schadenfreude for myself. I feel a little guilty saying that. But I can't be the only one--especially at a high school reunion! And, as Karl Marx said, "There is something in the misfortune of even our closest friends which does not displease us."

Okay, and this is going to sound crazy, but here it is. When I'm at my goal weight, I want to go on a pizza diet. Seriously. It started when I was talking to my exchange student, and I made the comment that I thought it was impossible to get sick of pizza. And once it fell out of mouth, I decided that I would like to take it as a personal challenge. I will eat nothing but pizza for as long as possible, and then see how long it takes to get sick of it. It does sound crazy. But if I get to my goal weight, I will have the tools (portion control, discipline in working out, etc.) to be able to control my weight even if I do the pizza diet. Now, I am very excited about this, not gonna lie. But I can wait till I'm there.

I recognize the dangers. Too much fat, spiralling out of control, and most seriously, the possibility that by the time I'm done, I may not want pizza again for the rest of my life, like an ex-McDonald's employee with Big Macs. But that's a risk I'm willing to take. So there you go.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ROCKPORT9 2/19/2011 1:11PM

    You have been so excited about thiss 5% challenge. I know you will stay motivated throughout. I bet you are already cute!!! Look closer. emoticon

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JMCADE 2/13/2011 12:38PM

    Sounds like you just want to be happy with yourself again and you can get there. Stay with us this next 8 weeks and we will try and keep you motivated. You sound so ready to make this happen and you have lots of reasons to do it for yourself. You can do it.

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RUTHXG 2/12/2011 8:03PM

    P.S. Pizza diet? I do love pizza, but I would get sick of it right away--not to mention having digestive problems because of insufficient fiber & such. But hey, it's something fun to look forward to, & you can track so as not to go wild on calories--so why not?

You ARE a very silly person! (For me "silly" is not an insult--quite the contrary.)

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RUTHXG 2/12/2011 7:43PM

    OK, let's tease this out. I think of it as restoring BeatleTot to herself. She was small & super-cute back then? Regardless of whether anyone noticed, she was! So now she can be so again, getting back to who she really is. Will others notice? Probably--but whether they do or don't, she is going to feel really great because she is reclaiming her self & her life!

You go girl!


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Depressed, bored, lazy, lonely

Sunday, January 16, 2011

I used these adjectives today when I got upset. That's how I feel. I feel a little better now, because after I went through a crying jag, I took a six-hour nap.

Today is day 2 of yet another attempt at quitting, and I feel pretty solid, because I'm FEELING. Yes, I'm feeling jonesy, but I'm also feeling the above. That means I'm dealing with things more profound than the quit. I guess I just think I need to get them down and the laptop is closer than the old journal I have in a drawer in my bedroom.

Lonely is a little bit of a funny one, because I've been home all day with my two favorite guys--my husband and Sammy. But I had a ton of DVR to watch, because last week I was on vacay with my mom and my sister and got back last night. So I sat all day watching TV (bored and lazy). Depressed, that one I have to work on pinpointing the causes right now. Part of me wants to attribute it to the quitting and no more, but I think there IS more, and I want to figure it out.

So that's it. Tomorrow, I'm going to go to the gym and take the little guy to the foo-foo parlor, so I should feel more productive. I think it will help. I think I need to do something big. It's been awhile since I have.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CYNTHIAMINUS40 1/18/2011 12:09AM

    I often feel a little bit of a let down when I come home from vacation. I get melancholy. Vacations are such a wonderful diversion from every day life. not sure but maybe there's a little of that going on for you? It may be as simple as settling back in to your normal routine and getting in the groove. I hope you're feeling 100% soon!

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JMCADE 1/17/2011 11:57PM

    Good luck with your being more productive tomorrow. Now that you gotten all that off your chest maybe it will help

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MONAKIN314 1/17/2011 9:54AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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RUTHXG 1/17/2011 12:27AM

    Sometimes sadness is telling us important things--I'm glad you recognize that.

I don't know you very well, but I have a strong feeling that your life is too small for you. Not that you need a different husband or a different job . . . but you are very smart, & I'm thinking you are hankering for involvement in a cause or a project that would make the world a better place. Or maybe art or music of some kind.

Just write me off as goofy if that doesn't sound right to you! I could be projecting, as I felt some of this same restlessness/depression when I was young, & besides deepening my relationship to God, I began to explore ways of self-development & self-giving. Now I'm honestly one of the happiest, most stable people I know!

That's my testimony. emoticon Big hugs & warm wishes to you.

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Prepared for gym...Please tell me to go!

Wednesday, January 05, 2011

I have three minutes before my lunch break is over, so I'll type fast. I have my gym clothes with me. I planned to go to the gym after work. But I'm feeling iffy about it now. Tired. Upset about two different issues that came up one after the other. A bit jonesy.'s really hot in here. And I kinda want to go home, open a beer and sit and stew.

Part of me says, you can do that if you promise not to smoke. The other part says, hey, you! You gotta go to the gym! Somebody tell me who to listen to and why, please!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BEATLETOT 1/5/2011 7:45PM

    I went...the book I'm reading is GOOD. I stayed later than I meant to so I could keep reading.

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JMCADE 1/5/2011 7:00PM

    You need to go to the gym. You will be amazed at how much better you will feel when you are done. An dit will keep you from the beer and the cigs. Neither of which you need this evening!!

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RUTHXG 1/5/2011 5:11PM

    You'll be SOOO glad if you go. Best way to work off stress & hassle. And Doritos! emoticon

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    Definitely go!! You may not want to now, or you're waffling, and even when you're there you may feel tired and hot....but the feeling of accomplishment afterward is well worth it!

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    I agree...jost go do it!!! You will feel so much better afterwards!


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LAMKIN101 1/5/2011 2:10PM

  I think you should go to the gym and work off the stress.Believe me,you will feel a lot better after a good workout. I have days like that myself,in which,I am debating if I should go or not. I have been exercising for about 10 years now,on most days I have no problem going to the gym, but other times it is still a struggle. Hang in there and just do it!

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Blazin' Buffalo and Ranch Doritos...

Monday, January 03, 2011 taste as good as thin feels.

At least, I thought so before I wolfed down about six servings...

I'll make it up at the gym in the next couple days.

I'm editing to's only almost 8. Should I go back to the gym? I did 35 minutes already, before I got into the chips. Let me know what you think while I'm thinking about it. =)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EYES_ON_THEPRAZ 1/4/2011 12:05PM

    Sorry I caught this so late! I hope you hit the gym, but if not, you can make it up today! emoticon emoticon

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TIMETOSHINE2011 1/3/2011 7:44PM

    Don't let it set you back....hit the gym!


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