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When Good Days Go Bad...

Monday, February 04, 2013

I went to a conference last week with my boss. It was fun and the conference was very motivating and informative, and I got an appointment to go visit my old job, which was awesome. I guess it wasn't a big deal (getting an appointment with people you know really, really well), but I was pretty proud of it anyhow, since my new job really couldn't have done it without me emoticon and was so happy to see them, and they were happy to see me, so she saw how missed I was.

Today started out fine. I ate the same breakfast I read a Success Story person eats. I took a portion-controlled meal to work. I had an apple for a snack. I was productive, was getting tons done, and was all-around satisfied.

Then, my boss came into my office. She'd been saying there was something she wanted to talk to me about for a few days, but kept forgetting what it was. She remembered, finally!

She closed the door.

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She told me that for this next trip this week, please make sure I pack more blazers this time, because some of the conferences are more fancy than others, so sweaters are fine for work, because it's work, but for the type-places where I used to work, it's better to be more formal. And what I wore the day we came back to work was good, "with the heels."

She was kind, but not sneaky enough. After she left, I wanted to cry. So I closed my door again and did.

I did wear blazers to the conference. To my old job (which is one of those "DC-type" jobs--people hear where you work and go ooooh!, but it's really not that big of a deal), I did wear a sweater or something (I think). I thought about it. I considered what other visitors had worn when I hosted them. There may have even been a passing thought or two about what my boss would think. But in the end, I made my decision based on what I wore there every day for FOUR YEARS. I wouldn't have worn such a thing to a different type-place, but for this one, I mean, com'on. I KNOW how to dress for that place, way better than she ever would.

And, well, yeah, I wore a nice suit the day we returned to the office, because my blazers were at the dry-cleaners, and because it was one thing.

One thing, because when I was packing, I looked at all my nice suits, and I knew that, before I packed them, I'd have to try them on. I've gained 15-20 pounds depending on the day since I accepted this job offer, and I'm not even 5 feet tall. I just couldn't take all that rejection from my suits. When I got back, I was able to put one on and wear it, so long as I left it unbuttoned.

So I really feel like this was unfair. I left everything for this job, for this chance to work with her. I left my husband, and my house, and even my only overweight-bordering-on-obese body and upgraded to the next larger model. Now I feel like she took my pride, too. And I just feel like I suck. My biggest fear in life is getting in trouble for something I didn't know what wrong or didn't do...I know this doesn't qualify as trouble, but criticism from an authority figure counts.

I didn't tell her all this. Maybe I should have, but I was so gobsmacked by this, that I just agreed. But maybe she should know I'm not an idiot, and that I KNOW HOW TO DRESS FOR THAT PLACE, because I did it EVERY STINKIN' DAY, but I wouldn't have worn the same thing for strangers. She's struggling with weight; maybe she should know that I'm limited by the wardrobe I bought for who I planned to be the heaviest me ever, and that a teeny-tiny portion of the blame for my extra-voluptuousness belongs on her for being dumb enough to hire someone who doesn't know how to dress themselves appropriately in business settings.

And that she really hurt my feelings.

I should take this as a challenge, or put a positive spin on it. And I will. But first I need to get all my crying out. And maybe drink a (light) beer. Or two.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DONNACFIT 2/28/2013 9:37PM

    emoticon just think how hot you'll look at goal weight...you'll rock your clothes!! You will get there!! I know you will!!

Remember what she said was all about her not about you...people can be so cruel sometimes!!

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EYES_ON_THEPRAZ 2/5/2013 11:12AM

    Ugh, I don't know what I would do if I had to dress up, let alone wear suits to work! I don't even have a full suit, just suit elements like nice pants, blazers, skirts etc but I never wear them because I hate how boxy I look! To me, dressing up is not wearing jeans, LOL. So I really really feel for you and how embarrassing and humiliating you felt. Plus I agree that it's insulting for her to call out what you wore to your old workplace when obviously you would know what's appropriate! I would maybe just let this one go but if it gets brought up again for some reason you can mention that you had thought about it and chosen the proper attire based on your knowledge of the workplace. Well, I think we need to get our butts in gear so we can fit into our nice clothes - your suits and my future wedding dress. I need to message you, I've been slacking on that end but I miss you and need to catch up! Hope you're feeling better now emoticon

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DUXGRL1 2/4/2013 9:47PM

    Oh, I feel for you! That sucks! It reminded me of a review I had with a boss years and years ago...she had mentioned something about me wearing knit pants rather than cotton or wool ones, and how they were less professional than wool, or cotton, etc....I ended up explaining to her that I was wearing them because of my weight, and then I think that she felt sorry she had said anything. (Plus, this was NOT a dressy job!) There was nothing in the dress code about wearing knit pants, only jeans or sweats, and a heavier boss I had later DID wear knit pants! The boss I had the review with was a very slim, petite woman, and I think that it never occurred to her that anyone would let a weight issue effect their wardrobe.

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RUTHXG 2/4/2013 9:12PM

    Well, I think your new boss showed poor judgment in this regard. She could have made it a positive comment: "Hey, I noticed that your former workplace was so laid-back that you didn't need to dress up a lot. I wish our field were like that more generally! Thanks for thinking to bring along blazers to wear at the conference, though. And I really like that suit you wore on ____."

But you know, most people aren't as word-wise & emotionally intelligent as we are. emoticon So I don't blame you for being upset--it hurt! Cry & have a light-but-good beer, & know we understand. But I hope you can dress up in your Personal Awesomeness tomorrow, along with whatever clothes are appropriate for your regular workplace, & enjoy an air of quiet superiority as you go about your day.

Love you! emoticon

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GETSTRONGRRR 2/4/2013 9:05PM

    Bummer.....that's a tough thing to take.

I'd recommend going in and being up front with her (once you've got the emotion out of it by crying etc) and tell her thanks, you'll work with her to coordinate attire for the next visit. Tell her that you're working to get back down to wear the blazers etc that she recommends, etc. Focus on the collaborative aspect of how you want to help her and the business you're in "message" correctly....just might need some time (or a clothing bonus!) to get there

I've learned to approach these things directly with the people I work for....and I value directness from the people that work for me....hasn't steered me wrong yet.

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THOMS1 2/4/2013 9:00PM

    emoticon emoticon

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SEATTLESIMS 2/4/2013 7:43PM

    ugh, I'm so sorry to hear your bad day story. It really really sucks.
I hope you can work with what you have clothes wise.. too bad the conference isn't further down the line to let you have time to fit back into those goal clothes!
Hang in there and keep chipping away at that scale! You can do it!


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Everything I Said I Would...

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

I checked in with Kristen, ate a salad, ate an apple, exercised for half an hour, and I'll have 10 cups of water shortly (I have 9 currently and still have medicine to take!).

And I'm freezing.

My heater's been broken. It's touchy; sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Lately, it doesn't more than it does, which SUCKS, because lately, it's been colder than a witch's teat out here. This morning, when I woke up, it was 58 degrees inside. By the time I met maintenance here on my lunch break, it was 52. Poor Sammy is a popsicle!!!

He said he wasn't leaving till it was fixed, and when I got home, it was nearing 70 (I keep it at 72). An hour and a half later, it was 66. I don't know what the temperature is now, but I'm freezing.

I HATE THIS!!!

So I'm going to go take a shower and bundle up under the covers. And call the leasing office tomorrow. Again.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

THOMS1 1/24/2013 5:16PM

    We have an electric mattress pad that I don't think I could live without. Hope it gets better soon. emoticon

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AMYLONGHORN 1/24/2013 10:19AM

    I'm with Kristen...electric blankets ROCK! Chris won't let me use mine because he says he's my heater, but when I snuggle up to him with my cold feet, he freaks out! LOL! It's cool that you and Kristen are checking in with each other...accountability is totes importante!!

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ANJAYS-JOURNEY 1/24/2013 9:26AM

    sorry to hear about your heater

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PINKNFITCARLA 1/23/2013 11:39PM

    Oh my goodness, hope the heat gets fixed soon!

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RUTHXG 1/23/2013 11:22PM

    So SORRY about the problematic heater, Brenda! Terrible weather for this to happen in. Stay warm tonight, & it better get fixed permanently tomorrow!

Way to get in your exercise in the midst of all this!

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GETSTRONGRRR 1/23/2013 11:10PM

    Electric blankets are great.....but so is making the owner fix what's broken!

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EYES_ON_THEPRAZ 1/23/2013 11:01PM

    Brr get one of those electric blankets for you and Sammy to snuggle under! Checking in with you here, just got done 48 min of dance aerobics and some upper body ST. Will measure later after my shower. emoticon

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4 Inches

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

I finally went out and bought a tape measure like I should have back at the beginning of mine and Kristen's personal challenge. I measured my body in the places under the measurements on Spark. The last time I recorded these were 2/16/12. My waist is up 4", my hips 2", my neck, upper arm and calf .5" each, and my thigh 1". How sad!!!!

So far, I've lost 2.4 pounds in my challenge. I need to recommit. So to recap, my rules:

1. 30 minutes of exercise (up from 5 minutes...I don't have time to play around anymore.
2. A salad everyday
3. A piece of produce
4. 10 cups of water
5. Check in with Kristen.

All that's left today is the exercise. I'm going to let you guys know how I fare each day, too, so I can be held more accountable. Here's the photo I took this morning. I started photographing from the side, because it's when I can really see how fat I am.



Now, off to exercise...then bed! I have to get up early.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JAZZEJR 1/24/2013 9:01AM

    emoticon emoticon

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SEATTLESIMS 1/23/2013 1:29PM

    you can do it.. refocus on your goals and you can do it!


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HICKOK-HALEY 1/23/2013 3:06AM

    I need to get back to salads as well. Good for you. Your on the right track!

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PINKNFITCARLA 1/22/2013 10:18PM

    Hang in there! emoticon

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REBECCATKD 1/22/2013 9:31PM

    Keep checking in -- we're here for you!

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GETSTRONGRRR 1/22/2013 9:27PM

    That's good motivation! Salads are good, I like mine with a little protein (2-3 oz).....helps me stay full longer. Nuts are good too.

Cutting out sugars (e.g. soda), potatoes, and other starchy foods has helped as well.

Good luck...keep checking in....it works!

Comment edited on: 1/22/2013 9:34:29 PM

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RUTHXG 1/22/2013 8:58PM

    Yay for losing weight on your challenge! If you're like me, the inches will soon be melting off too. emoticon

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I Am Awesome

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Not because I'm losing weight, because I'm so not.

As it were, here are my pictures.





Those are the last two. Sorry I haven't posted them, but I haven't posted anything in awhile.

Anyway, I was looking in the mirror last night, and without even thinking about it, I was talking to myself...and it was nice!

I told myself that I was smart...way smart. And kind and caring. I adopted my blind, deaf nightmare-dog because I'm so kind and nice. And I'm brave.

It makes me feel a little uncomfortable to be telling y'all this. It was much easier to tell myself, but maybe that's the problem. Maybe we shouldn't be uncomfortable saying nice things about ourselves out loud and in public. =)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DUXGRL1 1/19/2013 8:47PM

    We probably all should be doing that more! You are setting a good example for all of us!

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SHRINKINGSHERI 1/15/2013 5:32AM

    emoticon

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SEATTLESIMS 1/14/2013 11:55AM

    you are awesome! you are kind, smart and nice.. good for you for telling yourself so!


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EYES_ON_THEPRAZ 1/14/2013 11:15AM

    AWESOME!! I love this blog. Oh man, I haven't been posting either. I still hit most of our daily objectives but it would be nice to be able to post my pics and measurements with some positivity. But I should do some mirror talking, too. I think it might help!

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AMYLONGHORN 1/14/2013 9:19AM

    OMG I talk to myself all the time...must be something we get from Mom! LOL! You ARE awesome!! Love you!!!

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RUTHXG 1/13/2013 9:39PM

    You ARE emoticon ! And I think it's very appropriate to tell yourself so in public every once in a while!

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PINKNFITCARLA 1/13/2013 9:24PM

    emoticon I think it's good to tell ourselves (and others!) that we're awesome!

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SABLENESS 1/13/2013 9:08PM

    Thanks for sharing. Upbeat positive self-talk should be a daily habit. emoticon Thank you for reminding me about the Winter 5% Challenge.

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ACCEPTHECHLNGE 1/13/2013 9:07PM

    I couldn't agree with you more. Let's have an awesome challenge.
I still plan on sending you a SparkMail. I have been in MD for the last two weeks taking care of my grandchildren. Heading home, tomorrow.
Bleib gesund und munter in 2013!

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ADRIENALINE 1/13/2013 8:13PM

    Yes you are!

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THOMS1 1/13/2013 7:55PM

    emoticon

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NEPTUNE1939 1/13/2013 7:18PM

    emoticon

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Dog-Related Blog; Creative Advice Needed

Monday, December 24, 2012

This isn't weight-loss related. Just saying that upfront. And it's a little gross. Not super-gross, but a little.

Little Dog is turning into a monster. He's got these lesions on his head, and they keep changing size, based on the antibiotics we give him and the helmets we are making him wear, so that in all his infinite blindness, he doesn't traumatize them by hitting them with the wall. We have to get rid of them, or they'll have to be surgically removed.

We created a helmet with pantyhose, an old sock for padding, and those ouchless pads that are like the white part of a Band-Aid.

We've been dealing with this for months and months and months. I think what has had the most effect on them is the helmet. When he wears it, it gets better. When he doesn't, it gets worse.

But he HATES the helmet, and I'm worried about an Elizabethan collar around his neck. I don't want to HURT him, but I'm so mad at him for not letting me help him get better. So...I have a new idea.

He spends most of his time not snuggling in the kitchen. He has his bed and his heating pad and his bowls and stuff in there. It's his dog cave. After my move, I realized I had toooooo many sheets and linens. So, I'm thinking I'll just helmet the entire kitchen. I'm going to go get liquid starch to spray on the wall and stick the linens on. And fabric adhesive to fold the sheets up into maybe 12" strips. I considered buying baby bumpers, but even Walmart's are $20 a pop.

Any other ideas? Tips? Do you think this is dumb? I'm at my wit's end.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EYES_ON_THEPRAZ 1/7/2013 5:28PM

    Woahh... hmmm... Idk! Do the collars really hurt them? poor Sammie. I wish I had some ideas, but I kinda agree with STILLWATERSSB

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RUTHXG 1/4/2013 2:50PM

    Brenda, I've been mostly away from SP for a while, & just realized that I had somehow gotten unsubscribed from your blog! So sorry. And I'm really sorry Sammy is having these terrible woes. I hope you can find a solution that's good for both him & you!

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CARLYG8 12/27/2012 7:31AM

    Oops...just seeing this, but...I think the starch on the wall would not be a good idea. I believe it will mess up the paint/wall and any future painting. Probably not a good idea if you are renting. I like the bumper idea. Check around you for used baby stores, and second hand places. You should be able to get them way cheaper than you think. Yard sales are also another great place to find them, but you will have to wait for spring up there before yard sale season starts up again. Also try any local flea markets.
Hope everything else is going well for you! Have a Happy New Year!! emoticon

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STILLWATERSSB 12/26/2012 5:59PM

    The collar would probably be less work. I think you could get him used to it by pairing putting the collar on with giving a preferred treat at the same time. What causes the lesions and what time frame are you looking at to have them removed?

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L*I*T*A* 12/25/2012 10:45AM

    my vote is the collar too...........

Merry Christmas to you and yours enjoy today....

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CARRAND 12/24/2012 6:05PM

    I'd go with the collar. You can remove it after the lesions heal. What does the vet recommend?

On a related subject - Do anyone know how to keep my cat from throwing up 3 or 4 times a week? I'm really tired of the mess. She's not losing weight or anything, she just has a nervous stomach. She's been doing this for years.

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MEMARE 12/24/2012 1:15PM

    I agree with the e-collar they make soft ones... A quick Internet search found this: (copy/paste into browser)

http://www.dtpetsup
plies.com/catalog/soft-e-fabric
-elizabethan-dog-collar-size-5-
p-63440.html

Good luck! emoticon

Comment edited on: 12/24/2012 2:16:06 PM

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MARTY728 12/24/2012 12:44PM

    I am a dog person and have 3 dogs (2 large and 1 medium) that are indoors pets. I would go with the Elizabethan collar. It will be better for the dog, you and your home.

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