Friday, November 23, 2012
I eat too much. Every single day, I eat too, too much.
I crossed 29,500 fitness minutes, but I weigh more than I ever have.
Granted, these practically 30,000 minutes are over the course of almost 6 years...but still, that's a lot of freakin' fitness.
And for what? I mean, I don't want to say nothing, but I can't really name anything amazing that I ate that made all that worth it. And I am absolutely not happy with the way I look, either.
And when I think about my blogs over the last couple years, I am embarrassed by the lack of commitment, the lack of stick-to-it-tive-ness. I feel like these people on my quitting smoking website who leave and smoke for a little bit and then come back and say, "Okay! I quit!" and then are gone a few weeks later. I was one of those for a long, long time, too. Longer than I'd like to think.
I don't really know how to not be that way, I guess. I also don't want to be "that guy," who comes on here 'fesses up to the cookie s/he ate today. I want to not feel like I have to talk about the cookie. But maybe I do.
I mean, what do I do? How do I not eat so damn much?
This may not be the timeliest of blogs, given it's the day after Thanksgiving, so there's still loads of food around, but geez.
Thursday, November 22, 2012
There was food! And I didn't track. I didn't have any seconds, though. The steak was unevenly cooked but still delicious, the green bean casserole was the best I've ever made...not at all runny, and the second round of Zaatar bread was great, too. The mac and cheese was in good form, and the salad...well, at least there was salad!
There was fitness! I got half an hour on the stationary bike, and instead of sitting around, we raked the yard.
After dinner, I took the dog we're dogsitting for for a walk, and this dog walks fast! So I got a little digestion in, too.
My sister asked what we were thankful for. I'm thankful for her. I'm going to miss her when I move. Even though she's four hours away, it's still closer than I will be, and I hate, but it's her fault. I told her that if she wanted me to say no, I would.
So now we're just watching movies. I want to play games, and maybe we will. And tomorrow maybe there is more fitness...and yardwork!
Happy Thanksgiving, all!
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Today was like a practice for Thanksgiving.
I ate too much.
I worked out for 22 minutes, but it wasn't terribly strenuous.
I also did practice my Zaatar bread recipe. I didn't mean for it to be practice, but since it turned out disastrous, I am going to start over tomorrow. The bread will be better fresh anyway.
I walked during my lunch.
But I still ate too much.
Tomorrow, we're going to have steak instead of turkey. A couple years ago, our exchange student from Germany was allergic to poultry, so we made steak instead. It was FANTASTIC. We had no idea what to do with all the extra time we had on Thanksgiving Day without having to baste anything. Steak tastes better, and takes about 8 hours less time to cook. After that, we started doing it every year.
We'll also have the Zaatar bread, salad, green bean casserole (which isn't that bad...I put it in the SparkRecipes and was surprised by how few calories it was), mac and cheese, which is that bad, but also delicious, stuffing (which I won't eat), and pumpkin pie. Small pieces. =)
Happy Thanksgiving, all!
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
I got the rest of my dental work done. They said one of the cavities was deep, and maybe too deep, but they tried to fix it. They said if it hurts, I may need a root canal.
How long should I wait? I mean, I just had it done. They just drilled the bajeezus out of my tooth (which also really hurt). I really don't know why they were so stingy with nitrous...as in, none.
I also bit my tongue while it was numb. And my lips hurt. Now that I think about it, I think my lip hurts because he was pressing against it with a tool, and it did hurt while he was doing it. So all in all, I'm having a hurt-face day.
I didn't get any exercise in today. We'll see about 10 minutes strength training. I may have eaten in-range. I have to go check and see.
I'm moving December 1, and my last day at work is November 30. My jerk boss rejected my request to use a little bit of my leave (3 days) to give myself time to transition. Thanks for reinforcing that I made the right decision. I've got a lot packed...but there is certainly more. At least everything that's left will be husband's problem when he moves a few months later.
I'm feeling quite tired, depressed and deflated after writing this. Maybe because it made the tooth thing more real to write it down. Today wasn't all bad. I got my new glasses in. They look good, and holy cow, I can see! I don't know how I lived with the other ones for so long! I do know I put in my contacts a few days ago just to not have those lenses in front of my eyes. It was really bad.
Let me go see how I did nutrition-wise.
Monday, November 19, 2012
I left work early today to get some dental work done. I had the right side of my mouth today, and I'll get the left side done tomorrow. I have four fillings on each side! That sounds really bad, but it's over the course of almost 3 years, because my dental insurance changed 5 times in 4 years, so it was hard for me to make appointments with my dentist, since I'd make them, then have to cancel when the insurance didn't cover. The last cleaning I had, I paid for myself, because at that time, the change was to NO dental. *Sigh* So they kept making a checklist of stuff to fix. Now, the same day I put in my notice at my current job, we switched back over to awesome dental insurance. So I gotta get it done before I go.
I was sooo hungry when I finished. I didn't eat lunch, because I started flossing and didn't want to start over. So I ate all numb and tingly in my face...but it was a bit too much calorie-wise. Although I did half an hour of exercise, there's also trivia tonight, so I don't anticipate staying in my calorie range for today. I need to remember to put in my food beforehand, though it is really hard when you are sooo hungry. It's like I go into tunnel vision!
I can't believe this is my second-to-last Monday in the DC area. I emailed my...clients...to let them know, which was really, really hard. We're having a big gathering over the Thanksgiving break, so I wanted to make sure they were informed beforehand. It'll be hard to say goodbye to them, but I can't stay just for them. They all leave me eventually or would if I were still here at the end of their programs. That point was driven home to me when I emailed my old ones to let them know and give them my personal information (and offer them sticker letters!). No one was interested, though I got a few thank yous.
So life goes on for everyone, even without BeatleTot, as unimaginable as that is for BeatleTot herself. But I know intellectually that it makes sense. It'd been years since I've spoken to some of them.
I don't know if this is apt, but it makes me think of that Tom Petty song, "To Find a Friend," where he says, "And the days went by like paper in the wind. Everything changed, then changed again." I'd even go so far as to quote the next lines..."It's hard to find a friend. It's hard to find a frie-eh-end."
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