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Theme Day

Friday, November 23, 2012

I eat too much. Every single day, I eat too, too much.

I crossed 29,500 fitness minutes, but I weigh more than I ever have.

Granted, these practically 30,000 minutes are over the course of almost 6 years...but still, that's a lot of freakin' fitness.

And for what? I mean, I don't want to say nothing, but I can't really name anything amazing that I ate that made all that worth it. And I am absolutely not happy with the way I look, either.

And when I think about my blogs over the last couple years, I am embarrassed by the lack of commitment, the lack of stick-to-it-tive-ness. I feel like these people on my quitting smoking website who leave and smoke for a little bit and then come back and say, "Okay! I quit!" and then are gone a few weeks later. I was one of those for a long, long time, too. Longer than I'd like to think.

I don't really know how to not be that way, I guess. I also don't want to be "that guy," who comes on here 'fesses up to the cookie s/he ate today. I want to not feel like I have to talk about the cookie. But maybe I do.

I mean, what do I do? How do I not eat so damn much?

This may not be the timeliest of blogs, given it's the day after Thanksgiving, so there's still loads of food around, but geez.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ENCHANTEDMAMA 11/27/2012 1:17PM

    OMG. We could so be twins. I'm the same way. I work out every fricking day but I've yet to get my calories under control consistenly.


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MONAKIN314 11/26/2012 1:30PM

    Fall down seven times, but get up eight.

Hang in there. I know they smokers typically make several serious attempts to quit before they finally quit. I wonder if anyone has ever studies how many attempts it takes to change from an unhealthy lifestyle to a healthy lifestyle. I am pretty sure it is even more than quitting smoking.

Take it one day at a time! and remember you can't fix the past you can only change the future.

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PINKNFITCARLA 11/24/2012 12:03PM

    Just keep at it, taking one day at a time!

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HOPESINGH 11/24/2012 6:39AM

    I don't know what to tell you, except for - I know how it feels. And - just don't quit the fight! If you get up more times than you fell, you still win.

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LHLADY517 11/24/2012 12:47AM

    No words of wisdom here, except to say, Keep at it.

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SAXYSAI 11/23/2012 11:40PM

    This has been a pretty big struggle for me, too. Can I tell you what helped me? Being open and honest with my husband and my parents about my addition to eating too much. I admitted to my husband that after he went to bed that I would eat, and that sometimes I had a secret stash of food so he wouldn't see how much I was eating. I have found that, as embarrassing as it is, the fact that the people that love me most KNOW I struggle with this helps hold me accountable.

Another thing I do is when I want to eat, I picture how I will feel AFTER I eat it--the feeling of guilt, embarrassment, and frustration. Usually if I picture it clearly enough it keeps me from wanting to eat more.

I hope some of this helps. I know how hard it is. emoticon

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Thanksgiving Day

Thursday, November 22, 2012

There was food! And I didn't track. I didn't have any seconds, though. The steak was unevenly cooked but still delicious, the green bean casserole was the best I've ever made...not at all runny, and the second round of Zaatar bread was great, too. The mac and cheese was in good form, and the salad...well, at least there was salad!

There was fitness! I got half an hour on the stationary bike, and instead of sitting around, we raked the yard.

After dinner, I took the dog we're dogsitting for for a walk, and this dog walks fast! So I got a little digestion in, too.

My sister asked what we were thankful for. I'm thankful for her. I'm going to miss her when I move. Even though she's four hours away, it's still closer than I will be, and I hate, but it's her fault. I told her that if she wanted me to say no, I would.

So now we're just watching movies. I want to play games, and maybe we will. And tomorrow maybe there is more fitness...and yardwork!

Happy Thanksgiving, all!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PINKNFITCARLA 11/23/2012 7:00PM

    Sounds like an awesome day!

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HOPESINGH 11/23/2012 4:30PM

    What a great Thanksgiving! Keep enjoying her company as long as you can...

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AMYLONGHORN 11/23/2012 1:47PM

    What about me?! Aren't you thankful for ME?!?!?! GOSH!

LOL Just kidding! Sounds like you guys had a nice day! I just got back from a walk myself...we walked Dexter and then I decided I was going to go around again! Yay for dogs to walk, otherwise, I might never get off the couch...yikes...!!

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LHLADY517 11/22/2012 9:52PM

    Sounds like a great dayl.

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Piggy Day

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Today was like a practice for Thanksgiving.

I ate too much.

I worked out for 22 minutes, but it wasn't terribly strenuous.

I also did practice my Zaatar bread recipe. I didn't mean for it to be practice, but since it turned out disastrous, I am going to start over tomorrow. The bread will be better fresh anyway.

I walked during my lunch.

But I still ate too much.

Tomorrow, we're going to have steak instead of turkey. A couple years ago, our exchange student from Germany was allergic to poultry, so we made steak instead. It was FANTASTIC. We had no idea what to do with all the extra time we had on Thanksgiving Day without having to baste anything. Steak tastes better, and takes about 8 hours less time to cook. After that, we started doing it every year.

We'll also have the Zaatar bread, salad, green bean casserole (which isn't that bad...I put it in the SparkRecipes and was surprised by how few calories it was), mac and cheese, which is that bad, but also delicious, stuffing (which I won't eat), and pumpkin pie. Small pieces. =)

Happy Thanksgiving, all!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DONNACFIT 11/24/2012 5:57PM

    love the steak for Thanksgiving..thanks from a cattle rancher :)

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PINKNFITCARLA 11/23/2012 7:01PM

    Sounds like a yummy dinner!

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MARTY728 11/22/2012 1:37PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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HOPESINGH 11/22/2012 9:28AM

    Zaatar bread sounds great! interesting idea for thanksgiving. Enjoy!

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KOKITTY 11/22/2012 12:16AM

    I'm sorry your bread was a disaster! I'm sure it'll go better tomorrow. I think steak for Thanksgiving sounds like a splendid idea! I did it for Christmas last year, it was super tasty.

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MYBULLDOGS 11/21/2012 10:23PM

    emoticon

my sister lost 105 pounds walking 15000 steps a day at age 63.

i lost 44 pounds by giving up grain and sugar products at age 60.

i use a salad plate as a dinner plate.

i use a childs for and spoon so i eat slower. it takes your brain 20 minutes to tell your stomach your full.

emoticon

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Hurt-Face Day

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

I got the rest of my dental work done. They said one of the cavities was deep, and maybe too deep, but they tried to fix it. They said if it hurts, I may need a root canal.

It hurts.

How long should I wait? I mean, I just had it done. They just drilled the bajeezus out of my tooth (which also really hurt). I really don't know why they were so stingy with nitrous...as in, none.

I also bit my tongue while it was numb. And my lips hurt. Now that I think about it, I think my lip hurts because he was pressing against it with a tool, and it did hurt while he was doing it. So all in all, I'm having a hurt-face day.

I didn't get any exercise in today. We'll see about 10 minutes strength training. I may have eaten in-range. I have to go check and see.

I'm moving December 1, and my last day at work is November 30. My jerk boss rejected my request to use a little bit of my leave (3 days) to give myself time to transition. Thanks for reinforcing that I made the right decision. I've got a lot packed...but there is certainly more. At least everything that's left will be husband's problem when he moves a few months later.
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I'm feeling quite tired, depressed and deflated after writing this. Maybe because it made the tooth thing more real to write it down. Today wasn't all bad. I got my new glasses in. They look good, and holy cow, I can see! I don't know how I lived with the other ones for so long! emoticon I do know I put in my contacts a few days ago just to not have those lenses in front of my eyes. It was really bad.

Let me go see how I did nutrition-wise.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MONAKIN314 11/21/2012 12:59PM

    Hang in there! I usually hurt for a couple days after having dental work any longer and I am on the phone complaining.
The move and leaving will be stressful, but you made the right decision and it will get better.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!! emoticon

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HOPESINGH 11/21/2012 12:42PM

    I hope you'll get well soon - dental work isn't exactly the most fun thing I could think of.
I love the way you interpreted you boss' decision - way to go!
I wish you lots of strength and patience with all the moving arrangements.

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MARTY728 11/21/2012 11:04AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DRAGONFLY02 11/21/2012 7:45AM

    Ouch! I hope your mouth feels better quickly.

I can see why you refer to him as your JERK boss. That's ridiculous. Sounds like any boss is going to better than your soon-to-be former boss. Good luck!

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CATBEFIT 11/21/2012 5:19AM

    Yikes--dental work on top of everything else you're doing right now. Hope you're taking some ibuprofen (or other). It usually takes my mouth a day to start settling down from significant drilling.
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RUTHXG 11/20/2012 11:50PM

    Poor mouthie! I hope the pain goes away soon.

Bad boss! Hope the new one is MUCH better.

Wow, your move is COMING RIGHT UP!!! My hope for this is that everything goes super-smoothly & you emoticon the new job & home.

emoticon

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3016DEBRA 11/20/2012 9:16PM

  Awwww...I feel for you! I've got some dental issues coming up & am NOT looking forward to it! emoticon
Hope you feeln better soon - sounds like you've got alot going on, girlfriend!
Hope you can enjoy "Turkey Day"! emoticon emoticon

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PINKNFITCARLA 11/20/2012 9:14PM

    I'm sorry your mouth hurts so much. Wishing you good luck on your move and job change!

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CMRAND54 11/20/2012 8:20PM

    I'm sorry about your tooth problems. I hope it goes better for you tomorrow.

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KOKITTY 11/20/2012 7:23PM

    Ooh ooh I work in a dental office! I can answer this! It's not uncommon to experience sensitivity or soreness for several days, some people even have sensitivity for a few weeks! However, you may need a root canal if the pain continues after the typical healing time, is constant, throbbing, and doesn't go away! If it's a pain you experience mostly when biting down on things, it may just need a quick adjustment from your dentist.

Most doctors will say it could need a root canal in the future because well... it could. In the future. Maybe 3 years. or 3 months. That's the case with any tooth that has deep decay, since the decay can eventually effect the root. I have one a doc told me over 10 years ago may need a root canal someday, but it's still alright! But don't worry yet about the hurt meaning root canal, give it a chance to heal and calm down. I'm sorry your doctor was so rough and didn't give nitrous! Hang in there for now and see how it heals up!

Comment edited on: 11/21/2012 1:07:58 AM

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Filling Day

Monday, November 19, 2012

I left work early today to get some dental work done. I had the right side of my mouth today, and I'll get the left side done tomorrow. I have four fillings on each side! That sounds really bad, but it's over the course of almost 3 years, because my dental insurance changed 5 times in 4 years, so it was hard for me to make appointments with my dentist, since I'd make them, then have to cancel when the insurance didn't cover. The last cleaning I had, I paid for myself, because at that time, the change was to NO dental. *Sigh* So they kept making a checklist of stuff to fix. Now, the same day I put in my notice at my current job, we switched back over to awesome dental insurance. So I gotta get it done before I go.

I was sooo hungry when I finished. I didn't eat lunch, because I started flossing and didn't want to start over. So I ate all numb and tingly in my face...but it was a bit too much calorie-wise. Although I did half an hour of exercise, there's also trivia tonight, so I don't anticipate staying in my calorie range for today. I need to remember to put in my food beforehand, though it is really hard when you are sooo hungry. It's like I go into tunnel vision!

I can't believe this is my second-to-last Monday in the DC area. I emailed my...clients...to let them know, which was really, really hard. We're having a big gathering over the Thanksgiving break, so I wanted to make sure they were informed beforehand. It'll be hard to say goodbye to them, but I can't stay just for them. They all leave me eventually or would if I were still here at the end of their programs. That point was driven home to me when I emailed my old ones to let them know and give them my personal information (and offer them sticker letters!). No one was interested, though I got a few thank yous.

So life goes on for everyone, even without BeatleTot, as unimaginable as that is for BeatleTot herself. But I know intellectually that it makes sense. It'd been years since I've spoken to some of them.

I don't know if this is apt, but it makes me think of that Tom Petty song, "To Find a Friend," where he says, "And the days went by like paper in the wind. Everything changed, then changed again." I'd even go so far as to quote the next lines..."It's hard to find a friend. It's hard to find a frie-eh-end."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EYES_ON_THEPRAZ 11/20/2012 4:09PM

    Are you starting your new job before the new year? or are you taking this time to move and get adjusted? I can't remember if you've mentioned it in your other blogs. Either way, 2013 is going to be a great year for you full of new experiences, I just know it!

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HAKAPES 11/20/2012 9:36AM

    Sounds like a period ends, and you give it the energy to make a proper closing. My experience is that good closings make good starts. Keep it up, and hope all your dental work ends up good.

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MONAKIN314 11/20/2012 8:23AM

    Just remember if things didn't change they would stay the same, the good and the bad. And you always have your friends here. Big T-day gathering sounds awesome! I just have DH's family gathering, I hope I bought enough wine to make it through the day.

Get your smile all fixed up before your new job! I always feel so much better after the dentist cleans my teeth. I have actually gone to get my teeth cleaned before a big presentation when I wasn't due for a cleaning. Weird I know.

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HOPESINGH 11/20/2012 6:16AM

    I didn't know you were moving. Where to?
I completely identify with this strange realization that friends drift away, emotionally. I find it hard to accept that I do it myself.
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PINKNFITCARLA 11/19/2012 9:55PM

    Glad you were able to get your dental work done while you have good dental insurance.

Where are you moving to?

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DONNACFIT 11/19/2012 9:11PM

    Moving is always hard..but remember..you have lots and lots of friends here and we need you!! I really enjoyed your sticker letter..I'll need your new address to mail you a return sticker Christmas card..message me it okay..or are you still living in the same place and moving jobs?

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MARTY728 11/19/2012 6:36PM

    emoticon emoticon

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RUTHXG 11/19/2012 5:45PM

    So many things to do before you finish packing up your life & departing! Glad you could take advantage of the dental insurance, though fillings are no fun.

I'm glad you're having that big T-giving gathering--a great time to bid fond farewells.

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