Wednesday, November 14, 2012
I have a 16-year-old exchange student living with me. His report card came today, and he got "second honors," in spite of getting a D in his Bible class. The Bible class was actually a coup in itself, because he was failing and brought it up after I taught him how to look up Bible verses (why the teacher didn't see fit to teach him this, I do not know).
I think he deserves a celebration.
My SparkBud MEL_UNRAU wrote a blog about something similar today with her son: www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo
But now I don't know what to do. I am, like, the least maternal person I know, so I'm at an even greater disadvantage than most. I'm more concerned about me than the kiddo. He's thin as a rail and isn't mine to raise. I think he's at an age where his psyche is not so tender as to be greatly affected by what his host parents for less-than-a-year do. And he loves my husband's macaroni and cheese (but really, everyone does) and his eyes lit up in the car when we told him we bought ingredients for pizza a few nights ago (WW TJ's crust and lots of veggies...not a nightmare). I don't know much else about his interests, except, well, watching horrible TV meant for 6-year-old girls. I'm in the process of moving, so taking him to a movie like MEL_UNRAU mentioned is not really an option, and anyway, I hate movies.
So is it okay to reward him with food? Especially food that I also like? And what are some other ideas?
Monday, October 15, 2012
Yesterday was my birthday. I turned 30. My driver's license expired.
Last week, I filled out the form to renew online and printed out the temporary license. This morning, I saw it as I was walking out the door and figured that even though I've not been pulled over for about 13 years, I would put it in the glovebox just in case.
And it's a good thing I did.
Because I got pulled over today for expired inspection. I knew the sticker on the windshield was expired, but I thought my husband had sent in whatever needed to be sent in and everything was taken care of. I didn't realize that the sticker on the windshield wasn't something you got in the mail.
Which, don't get me wrong, I know is my responsibility.
But I am still SO UPSET that he TICKETED me for my expired inspection. It expired 15 days ago, and yesterday was my birthday! I know none of this actually matters, but I wish it had!
I cried the whole way to the gas station. The guy felt bad for me, with my red, puffy eyes, that he gave me a discount on my inspection. I know it's not that big a deal. I know it happens, but I hate, hate getting in trouble.
And I'm okay with a ticket. I'm okay with being pulled over, but I don't NEED a court date to do what I'm supposed to. And I'm going to court...I'm not paying this unless a judge makes me. If it were something I could just mail in, I'd be okay with it, but in addition to giving me a ticket, he gave me a CHORE.
I just want this over with. I'm calling tomorrow to see if I can move up my DECEMBER FOURTH court date. Anyone know if courts generally do that?
Especially because shortly after I came home, I got an offer for that job for which I interviewed last week. I'm going to have to counteroffer, but if they do accept my counter, I don't want to have to sit around here waiting for a stupid court date for a stupid inspection that was two stupid weeks overdue.
Saturday, October 06, 2012
They say you shouldn't do that.
They say that you're setting yourself up for failure, for giving up, for disappointment.
I've already failed, I'm ready to give up, and I'm already disappointed.
Clearly, my haphazard, unsystematic methods haven't been working. They have culminated into my highest weight ever. EVER.
So now I'm aiming for perfection.
I'm not accepting excuses. I'm not eating waffles or mac and cheese. I'm not going to eyeball portions. I'm not taking cookies and cakes from co-workers. I'm not drinking alcohol. I'm not not working out. I'm not not getting enough sleep for any reason.
I have a fulltime job and a part-time job. I just hired myself on for another part-time job--losing weight and getting healthy.
Of course, I'm not perfect. I will probably do some things that take me further, rather than closer to my goal. But it's not okay when that happens. It's not "Oh, well." It's not something to be blase about. No. Haphazardry ends now.
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Here is my prompt:
Give 3 or 4 reasons and for each (reason/excuse on why my diets and exercise plans have not been well-executed in the past) write a strategy that will keep me on track for 8 weeks.
I really like this assignment. It is methodical and systematic. It also reminds me of the EX method of quitting smoking, which I think is nice and...dunno, comforting in a way. Familiar and friendly. Anyway, here are my answers.
"I am craving sweets."
Strategy: Chew gum instead. Eat a piece of fruit. Suck on a Flintstones vitamin.
"I am craving chocolate."
Strategy: Tell myself I can eat some at the end of the night within my calorie/sweets budget. Also, make sure I am careful throughout the day to make sure I have room for the treat.
"Dang it! I'm late! No time to make breakfast!"
Strategy: I want to make sure that my kitchen is well-stocked with fruit, string cheese, nuts, bars, hard-boiled eggs...stuff that I can grab and go and also keep for snacks at my desk.
"Dang it! I'm late! No time to make lunch!"
Strategy: There's no way I can promise myself or commit to making my lunch the night before, although that would be the most obvious way of avoiding this. I've been leaving a little later in the morning, because I'm usually very early to work anyway, so I can spend the five minutes to stick the leftovers in the Pyrex. If there's nothing to put into a Pyrex or a Ziploc baggie, then I will leave work to get food...but I am going to the grocery store, not the 7-Eleven or the CVS. I'll go to the grocery store and pick up the tuna or chicken salad. Yum!
"So-and-so brought cookies/homemade banana bread/baklava/bagels...etc., etc., etc."
Strategy: I don't think I can say no, especially to any of the above-listed items. I will allow myself ONE per day. If two people bring awesome food, then I have to choose.
"Husband made mac and cheese. Holy crap, it's sooooo good. I'm going to eat the bajeezus out of it."
Strategy: I dunno. I mean, I have to watch him make it, put in the recipe, get the values, and portion it out, but I think I'll probably still be eating the bajeezus out of it. I can just track it better.
Strategy: Put pizza into my tracker BEFORE I eat it.
"I'm tired. I can't move. Well, I guess I CAN, but I REALLY don't want to."
Strategy: I'm committing to five minutes of exercise a day, which is really only one strength exercise, at "worst." I can certainly do bicep curls, crunches, or calf raises for five minutes, so there is that. Further, this attitude stems from my smoking (See blog "Sybaratism."). Since I am officially scared straight on the smoking, then this is not going to be an issue.
"Okay, this is a real, legitimate emergency, and I really can't do the five minutes today. I mean, I really can't."
Strategy: This happened this weekend. My strategy for this one during the Challenge is going to be at least five minutes of gentle stretching before bed. This sounds relaxing and charming to me.
So there are those. Any tips, suggestions or additional strategies welcome!
Thursday, September 20, 2012
I've kept the same answers to the third assignment on my SparkPage for a looooong time. It's time to update. Not only was I so inspired by my Larve-cum-Adult Starfishie Dragonfly, but I mean, it's just TIME. I haven't thought about these answers in a long time, haven't tried to internalize them, and they certainly haven't been effective.
So here are the questions and my updated answers for assignment #3.
Today's assignment is to list all the reasons you want to lose weight.
***I do not see myself as I am. I think I'm thinner than I am. I posted a full-body photo of myself as a background so I can SEE what I actually look like. It's not great, and it's not what I see. So when I am FORCED to see it, like the other day when I was in a dressing room, it's a disgusting shock to me. I don't want to be shocked anymore.
***I am vain. I want to look cute and attractive. I don't want to look rotund.
***One of my knees has arthritis in it. It doesn't hurt unless I weigh a few pounds more, and then only going upstairs, but com'on. I'm not even 30.
***I am just tired. I want to work on something else. Or nothing at all. Regardless. I'm done. I'm tired, and I'm done.
What do you want to change?
I want to change my body and the feeling of failure, sadness, and disgust. I was grossed out by what I saw in that dressing room mirror. I hate saying that. I feel bad saying that, but I did. I want to change my relationship to food. I want to start making the connection between what I eat and the size of my belly, thighs and ass.
How do you want to look?
Like a 30-year-old version of 23-year-old me. Trim and slender. Like someone with wrists the size my wrists are. I want to look my best. I've been going through some sort of spiritual crisis for the last long while; I'm having trouble coming to terms with the idea that I'm only living once, and this is the way I'm going through it. There's a lot more to these thoughts, but suffice to say, I'd like to look my best.
How do you want to feel?
Attractive. Comfortable in my skin. Toned.
What things will you be able to do in the future with a slimmer healthier body?
I'm not really hindered by my weight right now as far as activities. I can fit in amusement park rides, I can run, I can jump, I can kneel down...but I guess I will be able to buy cuter clothes and focus my efforts on other parts of my life that need to belooked after.
So that's them. This took me a long time to write. I hope it's clear to you guys, but more importantly, I hope it's clear to me during the challenge.
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