Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Here is my prompt:
Give 3 or 4 reasons and for each (reason/excuse on why my diets and exercise plans have not been well-executed in the past) write a strategy that will keep me on track for 8 weeks.
I really like this assignment. It is methodical and systematic. It also reminds me of the EX method of quitting smoking, which I think is nice and...dunno, comforting in a way. Familiar and friendly. Anyway, here are my answers.
"I am craving sweets."
Strategy: Chew gum instead. Eat a piece of fruit. Suck on a Flintstones vitamin.
"I am craving chocolate."
Strategy: Tell myself I can eat some at the end of the night within my calorie/sweets budget. Also, make sure I am careful throughout the day to make sure I have room for the treat.
"Dang it! I'm late! No time to make breakfast!"
Strategy: I want to make sure that my kitchen is well-stocked with fruit, string cheese, nuts, bars, hard-boiled eggs...stuff that I can grab and go and also keep for snacks at my desk.
"Dang it! I'm late! No time to make lunch!"
Strategy: There's no way I can promise myself or commit to making my lunch the night before, although that would be the most obvious way of avoiding this. I've been leaving a little later in the morning, because I'm usually very early to work anyway, so I can spend the five minutes to stick the leftovers in the Pyrex. If there's nothing to put into a Pyrex or a Ziploc baggie, then I will leave work to get food...but I am going to the grocery store, not the 7-Eleven or the CVS. I'll go to the grocery store and pick up the tuna or chicken salad. Yum!
"So-and-so brought cookies/homemade banana bread/baklava/bagels...etc., etc., etc."
Strategy: I don't think I can say no, especially to any of the above-listed items. I will allow myself ONE per day. If two people bring awesome food, then I have to choose.
"Husband made mac and cheese. Holy crap, it's sooooo good. I'm going to eat the bajeezus out of it."
Strategy: I dunno. I mean, I have to watch him make it, put in the recipe, get the values, and portion it out, but I think I'll probably still be eating the bajeezus out of it. I can just track it better.
Strategy: Put pizza into my tracker BEFORE I eat it.
"I'm tired. I can't move. Well, I guess I CAN, but I REALLY don't want to."
Strategy: I'm committing to five minutes of exercise a day, which is really only one strength exercise, at "worst." I can certainly do bicep curls, crunches, or calf raises for five minutes, so there is that. Further, this attitude stems from my smoking (See blog "Sybaratism."). Since I am officially scared straight on the smoking, then this is not going to be an issue.
"Okay, this is a real, legitimate emergency, and I really can't do the five minutes today. I mean, I really can't."
Strategy: This happened this weekend. My strategy for this one during the Challenge is going to be at least five minutes of gentle stretching before bed. This sounds relaxing and charming to me.
So there are those. Any tips, suggestions or additional strategies welcome!
Thursday, September 20, 2012
I've kept the same answers to the third assignment on my SparkPage for a looooong time. It's time to update. Not only was I so inspired by my Larve-cum-Adult Starfishie Dragonfly, but I mean, it's just TIME. I haven't thought about these answers in a long time, haven't tried to internalize them, and they certainly haven't been effective.
So here are the questions and my updated answers for assignment #3.
Today's assignment is to list all the reasons you want to lose weight.
***I do not see myself as I am. I think I'm thinner than I am. I posted a full-body photo of myself as a background so I can SEE what I actually look like. It's not great, and it's not what I see. So when I am FORCED to see it, like the other day when I was in a dressing room, it's a disgusting shock to me. I don't want to be shocked anymore.
***I am vain. I want to look cute and attractive. I don't want to look rotund.
***One of my knees has arthritis in it. It doesn't hurt unless I weigh a few pounds more, and then only going upstairs, but com'on. I'm not even 30.
***I am just tired. I want to work on something else. Or nothing at all. Regardless. I'm done. I'm tired, and I'm done.
What do you want to change?
I want to change my body and the feeling of failure, sadness, and disgust. I was grossed out by what I saw in that dressing room mirror. I hate saying that. I feel bad saying that, but I did. I want to change my relationship to food. I want to start making the connection between what I eat and the size of my belly, thighs and ass.
How do you want to look?
Like a 30-year-old version of 23-year-old me. Trim and slender. Like someone with wrists the size my wrists are. I want to look my best. I've been going through some sort of spiritual crisis for the last long while; I'm having trouble coming to terms with the idea that I'm only living once, and this is the way I'm going through it. There's a lot more to these thoughts, but suffice to say, I'd like to look my best.
How do you want to feel?
Attractive. Comfortable in my skin. Toned.
What things will you be able to do in the future with a slimmer healthier body?
I'm not really hindered by my weight right now as far as activities. I can fit in amusement park rides, I can run, I can jump, I can kneel down...but I guess I will be able to buy cuter clothes and focus my efforts on other parts of my life that need to belooked after.
So that's them. This took me a long time to write. I hope it's clear to you guys, but more importantly, I hope it's clear to me during the challenge.
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
I realized I have five (maybe six) things I want to do. If I spend a minimum of only five minutes a day on each item, then that's half an hour. I can schedule a half hour out of my evening...and of course, the minimum means I spend five minutes OR MORE on each activity. And I can do one or two of them in front of the TV.
1. Be outside (at least "be;" ideally, mow, pick up, plant, sweep, etc.)
3. One relationship-building activity a day
4. Learn Arabic
5. Finish my book list
6. Clean/organize the house
My plan is to do the outside thing right when I get home, before I sit. Then, I'll exercise while I watch TV. If my RBA is an email, FB message, letter, etc., then I can do that in front of the TV, but if it's something like a phone call, then I'll do that either before or after my exercise. Before I go to bed, I'll do my five minutes minimum of Arabic, and after that, read before bed.
This could be something good to use my stickers for, one sticker for each task completed, but that still begs the question of where I'm going to stick my stickers.
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
I guess I'm "back."
Not that I was super-gone. I've logged in daily, tracked iffily, replied to blogs, etc.
But I haven't been Sparking.
Since May, I haven't been Sparking. I've barely exercised. My food sucked, then was okay, then sucked again.
So what happened in May?
Well, I guess I'll just put it all out there.
I started smoking again in May.
I did the same thing I always do. Smoke for a few days, stop for a day, smoke for a day, stop for three, ad infinitum. I finally smoked my last one on Labor Day. And this will be my LAST. I really can't keep doing this. And it's scary $hi+, too, what can happen if you continue in this way.
So that's what I did, and it's really wild what an energy suck this is. And it doesn't affect you just physically, either. It's mental, too. I feel like I'm in a funk, like I physically can't BRING myself to get up off the couch and move the 10 feet over to the stationary bike. It's harder to get out of bed. And actually working to succeed something, like quitting diet soda, cutting down on sweets, or even reading a book or clipping coupons? Forget it. Life becomes an endless urge, punctuated by cigarettes, TV and BrickBreaker.
Well, probably about five or six days ago, I started feeling more like me...like the cloud had lifted...like I could actually SEE again, if that makes sense. And I started exercising a little bit. I went back to the eating plan that I had made work for a couple weeks during my nicotine bender.
One thing that's come over me though, that I don't understand, is that I'm going backward somehow. I have a sudden urge to buy stickers and stuffed animals. And I have. Stickers, anyway. A stuffed elephant probably isn't far behind.
Why? Am I trying to go back to the time before I smoked? Or try to recapture the time I smoked, but overshot? Any therapists/counselors reading this, please give your opinion!!!
So today I bought these:
And I found these in my closet:
So what do I do with these stickers? I have no idea where to stick them or what to do besides buy them and look at them.
Saturday, August 25, 2012
I went to a party tonight.
It was hosted by some people who called their house the "Street-they-live-on" Brewery. We took our new exchange student, and we had to leave early, after the third time I saw him yawn.
I don't blame him for being bored. We knew we were going to a beer tasting; we just didn't know that we would be sitting through over an hour presentation of hops, barley, yeast and "what do you smell? What do you taste? How's the head?" And the kid's 16, so he couldn't participate. I teased him as he poured some lemonade, beckoning him to let me smell, and look at the glass through the light.
It was BORING.
But in a way, I was entranced by our host's passion for beer brewing. I want a passion like he has, but I don't know what it could be. I could get back into German...maybe the lit, maybe the SLA. Crossword puzzles, coupon clipping, playing an instrument...I don't know what it could be, and thanks to my friend's passion, I'm not in the clearest state to determine what it is right now, but it makes me think.
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