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The Worst Starfish Ever...

Saturday, August 11, 2012

Okay, no, I'm so not the worst Starfish ever. You remember that one season where seriously between a third and half of us were completely inactive after the second week? What a nightmare that was!

I am the worst Starfish I've ever been, though. As we go into the final week of the challenge, I'm really starting to realize how little I've done for yuns. Very, very little exercise (my number for last week was...0), not much participation on the discussion boards or just for fun boards...not posting regularly to the tracking thread, not posting till, like, Tuesday most weeks...posting twice a week on the tracking thread! This isn't me! I really ought to be fired as EL...yeesh.

But the weirdest thing about this is, I think I've lost more weight on this challenge than I have any of the other challenges. I guess while I haven't been working out, I've been more careful with my food choices, and it's actually showing. I think I can be okay with that for now.

I decided to finish strong in the last week of the's the least I can do, right? I mean, really, the VERY LEAST I can do. Then, I have a few weeks in between to get my head on straight, on which I'm very much behind. I went back to another online support group, one I hadn't been on for over two-and-a-half years, last night to admit my failings and failure and come back. I need to focus on them for awhile, but I'll divide my time equitably for both sites this week, focus on them between challenges, and come back strong for the fall 5% Challenge. I love my Starfishies!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NANASAMM 8/16/2012 12:28AM

    This week has been rough for me getting in here to post. My grandbabies came Friday and they kept me so busy I totally missed weigh in. I'm sorry. I did finally get to the beach and did some walking and I finally got to the Y and did some swimming! We are a great team! Go Starfish!!

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REBECCAMA 8/15/2012 10:33AM

  Hey.. if you've lost weight then you are a head of me. I think I've gained.

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AMYLONGHORN 8/15/2012 9:19AM

    Holy crap when I saw your blog title scrolling on the Starfish page, I was writing a post on the discussion board about how much I have been a LOSER Starfish, and I thought your blog was about me for one hot minute! Dang...I don't know what is up with me, either....but I've been losing weight, too!! It's soooooooooo weird, but I'll take it!

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SEATTLESIMS 8/13/2012 7:43PM

    Great job on the weight loss even if you haven't been an active starfish..
I'm a bad starfish too :( just too busy with work stuff..

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EYES_ON_THEPRAZ 8/13/2012 2:38PM

    I agree - it's weird because I think the boards got a little screwy with people posting their every day stuff in the "just for fun" board, so to me, it seemed less"fun" over there. The challenge board has been very quiet. Overall, except for this week, everyone has been good about getting their weigh-ins posted (a lot of people were MIA this week, but hopefully they'll come back next week with a big loss) and stuff like that. I hope to have a loss this week. I'm feeling like a terrible starfish, too.

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CARLYG8 8/12/2012 9:44PM just read my mind! I signed on, and as I clicked on Sparkpeople, I thought to myself how disconnected I have been. I don't think I posted a single blog through the whole challenge!

And a leader? Pfftt! I so let the team down on that one. more week to focus...and then a couple of weeks to get into a new routine with the new job, and back to school time before the fall challenge starts.

We can do this!!!

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REBECCATKD 8/12/2012 2:53PM

    No firing of you!
This is why I like the Starfish team so much -- we ALL have a week or more that wins us the "Worst Starfish Ever" award. But then we come back to an amazing and supportive network. This team keeps me coming back, even after the worst of weeks. I may not have lost any weight during these 7 weeks, but I was able to bounce back after every Oops. Just like you!!!

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KIM--POSSIBLE 8/12/2012 12:59PM

    You have been awesome throughout the challenges I've participated in with the Starfish! Everyone deserves a break and no one is expected to be perfect! I have missed hearing from you lately, but you have to take care of yourself first!! We all go through periods of highs and lows, motivation and, well, lack of interest in exercise, etc. Awesome job on the weight loss!

Let's finish this challenge strong and we will continue to support each other, through the challenges and breaks, highs and lows! emoticon emoticon

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MOMFAN 8/12/2012 12:04PM

    emoticonAt least you are getting the weight off. How many have I been on and not lost!!! I think this one I might make my goal. I am at least making progress!

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HOPESINGH 8/12/2012 9:42AM

    When I saw the title I thought you were talking about me! emoticon

Good luck on the final week and kudos for the weight loss!

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DRAGONFLY02 8/11/2012 11:10PM

    Awwwwe, I don't care how much you participate or not. I just like being on this team and encouraging one another. Who cares if we're first place or dead last. I'm just happy to be here.

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KOKITTY 8/11/2012 9:54PM

    Better late than never! Make this week count, in whatever way you can! We'll all finish strong together!!

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MADAMES 8/11/2012 8:23PM

    Go Starfish sister!


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MISSLISA1973 8/11/2012 7:22PM

    You are an amazing person. Don't be too hard on yourself. emoticon

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RUTHXG 8/11/2012 5:35PM

    We love you too! And I've missed hearing from you, but I've noticed the weight loss & am very PROUD of you, emoticon So you have contributed to our good numbers even though you haven't posted too much exercise.

Hope the other support group is really fruitful for you in the coming weeks! You are emoticon!


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Dogs, Diets, and Days Off

Saturday, July 14, 2012

I haven't posted a blog in a long while. I started one at one point but realized that it wasn't interesting. If it bores me, I certainly don't think it will interest you! I mean, the Challenge prep blog seemed a bit forced when I wrote it, too. Just haven't had a lot to say, I guess, but really want to get Pumpkin Lady off my main SparkPage.

June was kind of a lost month for me. I didn't exercise. I sat around and felt tired, lazy and sorry for myself. July hasn't been much better exercise-wise, but I feel like I'm really getting somewhere with my eating, and workouts are getting a tiny bit more regular.

Really, I haven't had a lot of time for working out. I'm being more active, moving more at work and at home, but actual exercise is more sporadic than normal.

Part of the reason is this chihuahua/terrier mix I'm fostering. I picked her up from a kill shelter in Baltimore, where she'd been left after her owner died. She'd had the same owner for her whole 12 years, and the surviving family didn't want her. It was so full in the shelter, she wasn't even in a cage; they had her in an office.

She's very sweet, and unlike Mr. Sam, she actually can (and wants to) take walks and play. Anyway, she's still here, and I don't know when she's leaving. I hope in the fall, when families start returning from vacations and routines fall back into place, that someone will take her. She's awesome with children and will make a great dog for someone.

I've been reading a few "diet" books. I've been working on the Spark since Christmas and have a Volumetrics book on my nightstand. The ones that get read faster are on my Kindle, so I actually started and finished "Diets Don't Work" by...Schwartz? Yeah, I just looked it up, and it's by Bob Schwartz. Anyway, it was good. Basically, he talks about the "Diet Mentality," and about what naturally thin people do, and as you may expect, it's actually quite simple and you've heard it before. They eat when they're hungry, and when they're not hungry anymore, they stop.

It made me realize a lot of things. I discovered a lot of reasons I eat that I wouldn't have thought of if he'd just said to write down the reasons why you eat. I "bargain eat," for example; that is, eat because it's free. I "scarcity eat," which is problematic when I bargain eat, because then I have to stock up on the free stuff, you know? Then I eat three croissants at work. And I eat because of the starving children in Africa, too.

I also realized that I have to stop thinking of food like it's something special. The bosses eat lunch together in the dining room once a week, and people go down there toward the end to get to the leftovers. One of my naturally thin friends and I were talking about how we don't want to look like beggars, so we don't go down. Then, she said, "Yeah, it's just food."

Just food? I don't know if I ever thought of food, especially good, quality, tasty, (free) food as "just" food. Reading the book made me realize that I should look at food as "just food," and that I shouldn't think about it all the time like I do. If I could only figure out how.

About halfway through, Schwartz gave the four rules of naturally-thin people's eating habits.

1. They eat when they're hungry
2. They eat exactly what they want
3. They enjoy every bite
4. They stop eating when they're not hungry anymore

I like 1, 2, and 4. 3 is problematic for me. I feel like naturally-thin people wouldn't necessarily enjoy every bite, because why would they? Why would they even think about the bite? It's just food. How do I reconcile #3 with the above anecdote with my friend. And do I need to? I feel like in my mind, I do, because it just doesn't make sense to me.

On the other hand, I'm a speed eater. I eat so fast. And people say you should eat slower so the stomach can tell the brain it's full or whatever.

So I'm trying. I am doing really well with 1 and 2. 4 is a crapshoot, but I can tell I'm improving. I've been leaving food on my plate the second I feel like it. I left half a pork chop last night, and two bites of the omelet I had this morning. Two days ago, I left a third of a sandwich on the kitchen table, and my husband fed the insides to the dogs. I still feel full probably about half the time, which isn't great; Schwartz says you should stop when you're "not hungry," not when you're "full," because "full" means different things to overweight people and naturally-thin people.

Well, then there's 3. I'm trying it. When I remember, I tell myself to keep chewing, but that's maybe twice a day.

And even though naturally-thin people apparently don't track their food, I am more or less. I'm not as regular about it as I used to be, but I do want to see what's going on, and what's going on is interesting.

I'm staying in my calorie range!

Even today, I wanted Popeye's fried chicken. I don't even like fried chicken that much, but for some reason, I wanted Popeye's. When I got hungry, I got it. And I ate it. Maybe a little much--I was fuller than I should have been at the end, but not stuffed, but when I tracked my food, including the Popeye's, I was still in range.

Even with two biscuits. And Cajun fries. emoticon


I'm finding that to be the case a lot, even when I'm having beer, and my weight is going down. I lost 1.6 pounds last week, and just .1 pounds this week, but a loss is a loss, and I'll take it.

So I took a few days off this week but didn't have a plan. I was supposed to go to NYC, but my plans fell through with that, and so I stayed at home, ran errands, watched a ton of TV, exercised a little....and I was so unfulfilled. I texted a friend yesterday to see if we could hang out because I was bored and lonely, but spent some time on things start-to-finish in the spirit of my very old blog "Happiness=Closure"

and it helped some. But I have 33 hours left of "staycay." Any suggestions on making it worthwhile?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EYES_ON_THEPRAZ 7/17/2012 2:37PM

    You are doing a lot of good stuff, Brenda! #4 is definitely the most problematic for me! I've pretty much mastered #1 so you would think I could do #4 but it's just so hard!
OMG you have me drooling now thinking about Popeye's! Dang! You're doing good with the weight loss, and for someone little like you, any loss is good. I'm .4 up but I had TOM and our anniversary dinner so I'm hoping to rebound this week. I have to!
Take that doggie for a walk!

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REBECCATKD 7/16/2012 9:59PM

    Way to stay in calorie range!

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MONAKIN314 7/16/2012 10:13AM

    1. They eat when they're hungry
2. They eat exactly what they want
3. They enjoy every bite
4. They stop eating when they're not hungry anymore

I like these, but I agree with you on the enjoying every bite.

I always get what I am craving, I found that if I deny myself what I am craving I will ending up binging on it. It is only a matter of time. So when I a want to I go get it, I track it, and I move on.

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MISSLISA1973 7/16/2012 6:59AM

    Good to see you back and in the going down process. And some naturally thin people aren't really like that. One of my naturally almost-model-thin friends posted on FB the other day, "I eat Fig Newtons by the sleeve." I went out to eat with her once and saw her order a ton of stuff. She threw half of it away, so the part about stopping when full is accurate for her.

I am learning what full means. It used to take me tons of food before I felt full, even if I thought I had had enough that I should be full. Then I started eating lots of fruits and veggies. I found myself getting full -- as in I really did not want to eat any more even though it still sounded good -- a lot more often. Then one time I didn't eat much fruit or veggies for a couple days. We went to the buffet and I just kept eating and eating until I finally felt "full." What I realized then was that what I used to think was full is actually bloated, distended, and uncomfortable. So for me, I found it was a lack of freggies. I have seen where others talk about it being protein for them. Some people say a calorie is a calorie is a calorie, which is true on one level. On another level, I have learned that some calories SATISFY whereas other calories leave us wanting more. Hope this helps!

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HELLODANAE 7/15/2012 6:20PM

    emoticon on your weight loss!!!

I eat compulsively and really any reason is good as any to eat emoticon

You will find out what works for you, I'm sure of it!!!

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DUXGRL1 7/15/2012 2:56PM

    Some really thought provoking items in your blog!

I definitely "bargain eat," for example; that is, eat because it's free. I "scarcity eat," And I eat because of the starving children in Africa, too. I HATE wasting food. Sometimes I do not plan well and end up with too much food and end up trying to eat it, so that is a problem for me.

It the 4 things, I have been doing number 2 in this latest weight loss journey, and it has been working really well for me, as long as I watch my portions and do not eat too it all at one time! I guess I do number 1 and number 3, too. Number 4 is the one I do not do yet.

Off topic but back to one of your previous blogs....I went to see Neil Diamond by myself last month, and was immediately "adopted" for the night by a really fun couple sitting next to me. I felt fine about going on my own, but meeting them made it even more fun. We are now in touch on Facebook.

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MOMFAN 7/15/2012 12:17PM

    If it is not too hot go to a park and enjoy God's beautiful nature or go on a hike. Maybe some charity work? Just do it. Work on an unfinished project.

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AMYLONGHORN 7/15/2012 12:10PM

    Idea for the remainder of your staycation: call your sister! emoticon

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RUTHXG 7/14/2012 9:40PM

    Yay, you are losing weight! I'm impressed with your skillful eating-in-range.

Yes, food is "just food," but even for lots of thin people it's also wonderful & delicious. My experience is that when I'm paying attention & enjoying every bite, I am sooner satisfied & don't feel a need to eat so much. Paying attention to the taste & texture of food is related somehow to paying attention to the body's sense of being satisfied, no longer hungry.

I had never heard those Schwartz terms "bargain eating" & "scarcity eating"--really useful concepts, because of course we often eat with those false justifications!

It sounds as if the dog you're fostering is a total sweetie. I can see how having another being to care for cuts down on your exercise time, but still keeps you active.

As for what to do with the rest of your weekend: are there any free concerts-in-the-park to attend? What about reading a yummy book? I like to play word games by myself. Oh, is there a forest preserve nearby where you could go for a long walk/hike under the trees? That's one of my favorite things to do, along with going to one of the plant conservatories (also free). The elevated oxygen & the shade & fragrance just work magic for me--blissful.

emoticon Wish I were nearby!

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Some Challenge Prep

Friday, June 15, 2012

I put my commitment and answered questions on my SparkPage, but I want to list some reasons I want to lose weight in a blog.

1. I want to move on to something else! I've been "working on" losing weight for a looooong time, and I'd like to just be done with it already, healthy, happy, with good habits, so I can start focusing on other things.

2. I want to look good in photographs and feel cute and pretty.

3. I'm not getting any younger!

4. I asked my husband to take me dancing, but I don't want to go NOW, because I think I'll enjoy it more if I'm a little less self-conscious. So in 10 pounds, I wanna go dancing. That may sound bad--like I'm putting my life on hold until I lose weight, but I don't think so. My life is SO not dancing. And if an awesome concert or another dancing opportunity comes up, then of course I will take it. But a night on the town? I call that a reward!

5. I feel better--not just when I'm making progress, but in general, when I'm working out and living more healthily. I've been kind of bad the last couple weeks, but I hope to get out of my funk soon-ish...definitely before the challenge.

I think that's good for right now. Single-mindedness isn't taking me very far, I'm afraid, because I'm no good at being single-minded. It just gives me permission to slack on everything. I've hit a decent stride on some things--found a breakfast that keeps me full for a good part of the day, having veggies ready for meals and snacks, and trying to keep moving throughout the day. But my exercise has fallen by the wayside, I'm drinking a ton of diet soda lately, and my detente with sleep and second job is falling apart. I'm exhausted. Part of it is Euro Cup--I've been watching it on DVR when I should be sleeping, but I'm sure the higher amounts of caffeine in the evening aren't helping... and so on.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HAKAPES 7/8/2012 1:16PM

    I love your 1. goal! :-) Made me smile!

I had the same intention. Then I realized, this became like a hobby, healthy living, with all the running, improving, challenges. The weight loss is like a side effect.

Did you complete the 4 stages in the Sparkpeople diet plan?

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DRAGONFLY02 6/22/2012 2:37PM

    What a great list of reasons to lose weight! Good luck in reaching your goals

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WHITNEYLD 6/21/2012 9:42AM

    Those are great reasons to lose the weight and get healthier. We can do it!

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TAICHIDANCER 6/18/2012 12:50AM

    Hey: go dancing now! 1) You deserve it, 2) It's fun, 3) Burns calories, 4) Other people aren't watching as much as you fear they are.

Read your post about the new dog. Good luck!!!! How is it going?

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GINGERPAWZ 6/16/2012 8:58PM

    You have some emoticon goals and I know you will hit them. You are going to have fun on the town and when you lose the ten pounds then dance like there is no tomorrow.

Have fun my emoticon


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BD3269PM 6/16/2012 6:30AM

    You have made a good plan for yourself and you wil succeed. A night out on the town is a great reward for all of your success. emoticon

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HICKOK-HALEY 6/16/2012 5:44AM

    That's a good goal for you to make. Then when you reach your goal, think of the fun you and your Hubby will have.

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GETSTRONGRRR 6/15/2012 8:43PM

    Good goals! You DO know that working out will help you sleep better, right? As a matter of fact, if you get some ST into your routine, I can guarantee you'll conk out at the right time.

Good luck with the challenge!

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HELLODANAE 6/15/2012 12:36PM

    having a plan is already a success so if you succeed to plan your are planning to succeed emoticon

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EYES_ON_THEPRAZ 6/15/2012 11:46AM

    Yay! Good reasons! The diet soda thing can be sooo hard to kick. My BF woke up with a killer headache this morning just because he didn't have any diet coke yesterday and we were out of it in the house... I know he prob went thru the drive thru this morning which makes me worry about this addiction. Is there a soda rehab? Get some sleep, rest up, because on June 23rd its ON!

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RUTHXG 6/15/2012 10:55AM

    Those are good, thoughtful reasons. And yay for a substantial breakfast & having veggies on hand! Best wishes for DEEP SLEEP, & plenty of it, so that you can return to the exercise that makes you feel sooooo great!


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Pumpkin Lady's Bad Day

Saturday, May 19, 2012

Yesterday sucked.

I didn't do any of the stuff I said I was going to do in terms of medium-term goals. I didn't even track my food, which I always do. Around 4:00am this morning, I couldn't figure out how to not give up. I know that that's an all-or-nothing attitude, and no one likes an all-or-nothing attitude, but I felt so dejected and hopeless. And I needed to go to bed, but I couldn't sleep.

Why all this?

Well, my husband's gone. He went to a relative's wedding. I'm not going, because I loathe the bride. I HATE that he's there. I hate that it's taking time away from me. I hate that he is missing two standing long weekends because he's using up his vacay to do this. I hate that I really wanted to go to the Styx/REO concert last night and didn't because he wasn't here and I HAVE NO FRIENDS (which isn't his fault, but this whole thing showed me I don't have friends). I hate that he gets to watch the UEFA Champions League Final with family, and I'm watching it alone. I hate that I'm home alone grieving a loss on his family's side. I am glad that he's with family during this difficult time, but just because I'm happy for him doesn't mean I'm not sad for me.

I realize that this might be crazy, bizarre and unreasonable, but there it is.

And work sucked yesterday. I walked in, spread my last nerve all over the floor of the office, and people proceeded to stomp on it. Before 9am even happened, I had problems. One of our accountants got overly-sensitive at me. And she talks too much, so I was trying to explain, and she kept interrupting me. SO ANNOYING.

So I was excited to be invited to hang out with a coworker and her trendy friends in her trendy hood at a trendy restaurant. I wanted to go see if I could make some friends, see what her cool friends are like. There was some bad stuff in between. My husband wasn't texting me back, and my friend wasn't being clear about when she was arriving, and I couldn't find anything to wear that didn't make me look fat, because I am fat. I was upset upon leaving, called my husband, which didn't go well, and heard on the radio they were doing upgrades in the parking lot for the concert. Thanks for rubbing it all in my face, world!!!

At the restaurant, I meet her friends, and they're pretty cool. We had fun, until I got into a discussion with someone who was slurring his words about a controversial topic that you probably shouldn't bring up to a new acquaintance. Genius. When he made a straw man argument, I called him out on it, saying, "Straw man." Because he didn't know what a straw man was, he assumed I was calling him a straw man, so he called me a "Pumpkin Lady."

That was like a punch in the gut.

I got home, and I'm just...done. I'm done thinking. I'm done trying. I'm tired. I want to just sleep. I don't want to work out, think about what I'm eating, tell myself to not smoke, read, or even move. Pumpkin Lady wants to just sit in her house, in the dark, maybe with her dog, and just not think and not see anyone. And why the hell not? I seem to be pretty abrasive and maybe even awful. I say things that make people mad. I highly doubt that after my amazing first impression with this group, that Mary Ann will be inviting me to hang out with more trendy friends at trendy places. No wonder I don't have any effing friends. Maybe I don't deserve them.

I wish I could say that being called a Pumpkin Lady lit a fire under me, but it didn't.

I hope I snap out of this soon.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MISSLISA1973 6/7/2012 1:50AM

    I'm sorry I laughed when I read this, but I got a refreshing, soul-cleansing belly laugh out of your blog. Not because I think it's funny that you are hurting; I hate that. But because not only do you have a way with words, but because I can totally relate. I am so right there with you. Why do some days punch our lights out like that? They do though, and it's nice to know we are not alone, which is why I laughed when I read this. "She's like me! I'm not the only one who almost gives up over a bad day!" Thank you for sharing your bad day with us so we could know it's OK to be human and have bad days.

I love pumpkin, by the way. It's a fun vegetable, and we get to carve it and make fun faces on it for Halloween. It's sweet and creamy. I can think of way worse things than being called a pumpkin. And you know what? I bet you he doesn't have near as many fans as you do. You are amazing and SparkWorld loves you. And SparkWorld is AWESOME. (Like you.)

Lots and lots of love to you!!!

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LBENEDICT7 5/28/2012 9:21PM

    You feeling better? Been in this exact situation days, years , decades ....sigh. You are just awesome. That's a fact !!!!

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AMYLONGHORN 5/25/2012 10:38AM

    OMG I can't believe I'm just now reading this! When I had dinner with Aldo when he was in town last weekend, he mentioned you had gotten in an argument with someone at the restaurant, but I didn't realize the guy called you an ugly name! UGH! You should have called me!!!!!

As far as the concert, I have gone to a Jason Mraz concert alone. Remember when I lived in VA and I did stuff all by myself a lot! i know we talked about this a few weeks ago, but I don't remember if we talked about you going alone. And with people like the Straw Man around, I'd just as soon hang out by myself anyways!

HUGS sister...a week late, but hopefully you had a better week. LOVE!

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TONBEN 5/24/2012 7:32PM

    ouch sounds rough, but you can get back on track, both physically and emotionally, sounds like you have lots of support here...and I always find to meet new people you have to get out of your shell and go out in the community, sounds like other than the drunk guy you were doing just that. We are all going to do this together! emoticon

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MONAKIN314 5/22/2012 11:18AM

    What an awful time of it! You have friends here. I feel the same way sometimes cause I can be abrasive and "mean", but everyone deserves friends! You never know maybe Mary Ann and her "trendy friends" need a friend that speaks their mind.

Hang in there! We all need those nights alone in the dark with our dog sometimes.
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 5/22/2012 11:19:04 AM

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GETSTRONGRRR 5/21/2012 8:53PM

    Wowie-Zowie!! I learned a long time ago, never argue with a drunk....especially a half-wit drunk!

You've got plenty of friends here on SP.....we may not be fun to take to concerts, bars, or restaurants, but we're a pretty reliable bunch that's here 24/7....glad you're here too!

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EYES_ON_THEPRAZ 5/21/2012 5:08PM

    Ahh yes... we've all had days (weeks, years) like this. I don't blame you for wanting to shut out the world. But I hope it doesn't last more than a couple days and you can learn to move on and over it. That dude was clearly a moron.
And, coming from the OG pumpkin lady (, ... it ain't so bad being orange! JK. But I hope you're feeling better today. And yes, that's a photo (or series of photos) of me jumping rope with a velvet rope dressed as a pumpkin circa 1999?

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REBECCATKD 5/20/2012 7:57PM

    Girl, I wish I lived next door to you! I'd walk my own lately-apathetic self over with a water bottle and force us both to take a walk so we could hash out and vent about the inherent unfairness of life that sometimes slaps us in the face.

As it is, I'm going to put on my walking shoes for the first time in two weeks, and think of you as I walk. Somewhere out there, I hope you're doing the same.

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DUXGRL1 5/20/2012 10:21AM

    We've all had those kinds of days! Try to do something nice for yourself. And good thing that you blogged about all this...I really find that the days when I write in a journal or blog, I do not usually overeat.

Just a word of advice...if you really want to go to a concert and can't find anyone to go with you, go by yourself. It will feel really weird the first time you do it, but if you can master it, you will enjoy yourself, and you will not feel like you're depriving yourself of something you really want to do just because nobody else was available to go with you. Sometimes you'll meet fun people there! I can't always get my SO or other people to go with me to concerts, so I go by myself when that happens, and take my word for it, you really can get into such a zone when the concert is going on that it will not matter! My SO is unemployed right now so if we go to a concert, I have to pay for the tickets. Well, I can't always afford to do that, so case in point, we are going to see the Beach Boys together next month, but the night before I am going to see Neil Diamond alone. (A friend of mine saw Styx/REO this week, may have been the same one you wanted to go to. Sorry you missed that, but next time, try to do it anyway.)

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KIM--POSSIBLE 5/20/2012 8:25AM

    Sorry you had such a bad day! Today will be better! emoticon

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ANJAYS-JOURNEY 5/19/2012 6:20PM

    What a rotten day, nothing I say will make it better so how about a hug!!

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PINKNFITCARLA 5/19/2012 4:25PM

    I'm sorry you had such a crappy day :-( Hoping this weekend is better for you. Love your dog pics, btw. I had my huskie/collie mix from the time she was a 6 week old pup until she died 2 years ago after spending her last year with her deaf and blind. It was sad and so hard to let go after all those years.

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RUTHXG 5/19/2012 3:00PM

    Oh hon, what a perfectly AWFUL day! It totally makes sense to feel down.

I don't have any close friends nearby who are in a similar life stage & have similar tastes & enough income & interest & health to attend concerts & plays with me. It gets me down at times. I'm reading more books because of it, & I love reading, but I would really like to go out more!

You are in my emoticon today.

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CARLYG8 5/19/2012 2:20PM

    I wish I had some magic words to lift you from your funk. I know how bad it feels to be smack dab in the middle of a major funk, with no end in sight.

But I don't.

I can tell you that things will get better. Hubby will come home, your mood will lighten, and things will just go back to "normal" nothing ever happened, and you will be okay!

Remember how down I got after my niece passed away and a really good friend just up and died about the same time with no warning? Talk about a punch to the gut. That funk was an all consuming black hole that I didn't think that I would ever climb out of.

But I did.

And now that I am on the outside of that hole....I wander over every now and again, and poke my head into the darkness, and the hurt is still in there, the ache is still life-sucking...and I know that I don't want to go in there ever again.

It breaks my heart that you are feeling so bad right now, and I wish that I could just come and pick you up, and take you lunch, shopping...something, and just have fun! You know why? Because I am your friend...even it is through cyberspace, or whatever you call it.

I love ya girl! emoticon

**hey.. send me a sparkmail if you have facebook, and want to add me as a friend. I will be more than happy to "talk" to you. I am up most nights because of insomnia.

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Today's Successes

Thursday, May 17, 2012

This is one of the short-term goals that was associated with my medium-term goals that I set up yesterday. I probably won't do this every day--I mean, of course I will, but probably not in a blog.

Today's successes:

1. I opened the shed using my resourcefulness since I thought I couldn't because I was too short.

2. I closed the shed the same way.

3. I didn't go to a fast food place today even though I wanted to.

4. I mowed some of the lawn and picked up a lot of the sticks.

5. I bought nice produce at TJ's today.

6. I was helpful to my husband and MIL.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DUXGRL1 5/18/2012 9:31PM

    Good job! I also love TJ is good and they have great prices!

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DUXGRL1 5/18/2012 9:31PM

    Good job! I also love TJ is good and they have great prices!

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EYES_ON_THEPRAZ 5/18/2012 11:32AM

    Way to go! Does your TJ's have nice produce? I find that all the TJ's out here have crap and I'm better off going to the Mexican grocery store

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HOPESINGH 5/18/2012 5:18AM

    Love this techniques of patting yourself on the back for successes. I try to do it every day too.

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RUTHXG 5/17/2012 11:27PM

    emoticon for resourcefulness! & self-discipline & helpfulness!


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