Friday, March 16, 2012
So the last pre-challenge assignment is to list all the reasons/excuses why our plans failed with regard to exercise and diet and how we can resolve these reasons/excuses.
I'm sure this has been assigned before, but I'm not sure I've done it before. I tire of the pre-challenge assignments right around 6 or 7 usually. But I want to take this one very seriously, because I believe it can make or break me. And I AM PULLING THIS 5% OFF THIS TIME. For serious.
So. Here are my excuses (let's not front and call them "reasons"):
I'm genuinely hungry, but I'm almost out of calories.
Okay, so you're hungry. First thing is, what's the big deal? A little hunger never hurt anyone. It's not something to be afraid of. But you are? Really hungry? Water didn't work? Cup of tea? Piece of gum? Fine. Eat. One portion of one food. And not empty calorie stuff, either. Food means, you know, like, lettuce. Other vegetables. Nuts. An apple. And let's be real here, too. This normally happens when I'm at home, right? I could just go to bed. It mightn't be a bad idea getting more sleep!
I've had a rough day, and darn it, I want a beer.
Ah, beer. Beer is awesome. It is so fun to go out with Mary Ann after work, and lately, I've been having a beer when I get home if I had an extra-nasty commute. But really? You don't need beer. And more importantly, you don't need 600 calories of beer. That, my friend, is crazy. So...only light beer (which means no more drinking at home, since the stuff we have on hand is not light). And tracking beforehand, especially if I'm eating out, too. I have a smartphone; there's no reason I can't.
Exercise? But I'm too tired to exercise!
Com'on. Just five minutes, man! And if you're too tired to do even 5 minutes, go to bed. Geez. You clearly need more sleep.
Now, to remember these solutions. I wish there were a solution to THAT that I wouldn't forget!
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
...so I made it a blog anyway.
I'm going to meet up with an old friend after work. We're going to a brewhouse, and I just finished a steak salad from Chipotle (I'm being single-minded, Kristen, I held the sour cream, cheese and guacamole) at around 400 calories and a whopping 46 grams of protein.
When I arrive at the restaurant, I'm not going to be hungry.
Ergo, I am not ordering food.
If I get hungry while there (say, 7pm, it'll've been 6 hours since I ate), I'll eat a cup of chili. Not a bowl, a cup.
Limit to two beers. I have to drive. I will strive to finish the first beer soooo sloooowly that I won't need the second.
Calories already tracked.
There. It's out there. Now I have to do it.
Wednesday, March 07, 2012
I love the musical "Hair." I have for ages. For availability reasons (read: it's on DVD), I'm partial to Treat Williams's George Berger, though I obviously made a beeline to the Kennedy Center as soon as the Broadway production made its way to our nation's capital.
I don't turn on the shower radio when my housemate is home, but I'm also partial to singing in the shower. When I don't have the classic rock station telling me what's next on my set list, I sing quietly to myself whatever happens to be at the forefront of my mind at that time.
Tonight, it was "Where Do I Go?" from Hair:
Where do I go?
Follow my heartbeat.
Where do I go?
Follow my hand.
Where will they lead me
And will I ever
Discover why I live and die?
I guess this is a common theme in my blogs...I THINK I know what I'm about and what I'm doing, but I suppose I really don't. Then, I come on here and write nonsense about it.
In addition, even if I know where I am going, I don't seem to be able to stay on the path. This relates directly to my weight loss journey. I get very distracted by food, socializing, etc...and this is one of the few things I'm sure of that I want for my future.
So where do I go? Maybe I shouldn't worry too much about the other things and focus just on this. Or maybe I should do small things toward the other things and mostly focus on this. I wish there were easy answers.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
I appreciate the responses to my blog post this morning. I felt bad after I wrote it, and it's a shame, because I was feeling okay before I wrote it. That is, I think writing the blog bummed me out more than the content of the blog. It became the culmination of a few rough things, but the day got better.
First, the Peru thing. Peru turns me into an insecure 21-year-old. I guess the thought of it does, too. When I'm there, I feel out of place, sticking out in a bad way. I go back to the times we were both just kids, and he would ignore me or not translate for me in front of his family. He is a lot of fun in Peru, and then I feel like he saves the best of himself for his friends and his family and leaves me with the boring leftovers back here. I'm old enough now to know better, but when I go there, I regress.
Second, I was super-good yesterday, but my weight was up this morning. I just wanted .1 down on the scale, and I didn't think it was too much to ask. So when I was up, I was a little irritated, especially since I have a new sense of urgency.
Third, when I got to work, the gofer guy asked me if I had a dog (which was dumb, because he knows I do--he asks me almost daily how my dog is). I said yes. He asked me if he is old (also dumb, because he knows he is). I said yes. And that he's blind. And deaf. And he told me I should "throw" Sammy "away" because he is "useless." WTF???
On a cognitive level, I get it. Gofer guy has limited English, so his harsh words may not be meant to be harsh. Also, gofer guy comes from a culture where dogs aren't pets, they are work animals. A lady at work once compared keeping a dog in the house in her culture as similar to keeping a cow in the living room. So okay, different strokes. And it's not sooo farfetched from American culture--think "Of Mice and Men." That poor dog. And that poor man.
But still. I love Sammy so much. How can someone say something like that about him? I tried to not be bothered by it, but I was kind of upset that someone would call my little guy useless and disposable. Even though, okay, yes, he pretty much is. He is an eating, sleeping, pooping, suspicious growth-growing machine that costs me thousands of dollars in vet bills. And he's my favorite thing in the world.
And he serves his purpose. So does gofer guy. Gofer guy brings me signed documents and tea. He answers questions and gives paperwork to security. That's his purpose. Sammy brings me joy. That's his purpose. They're both important, but in my own personal opinion, Sammy serves a higher purpose.
After I realized that, I wasn't mad at gofer guy anymore. He can't help being jealous of Sammy's purpose, after all.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
My husband's from Peru.
I've been there three times with him, I think. The first time, I was pretty peak and garnered a lot of positive attention, which was totally fun.
Second and third times, well, my blonde hair still got me attention, in the form of a shoe shiner dumping crap on my shoes so he could clean them.
And having to hide down the block from when the boys were negotiating taxi rides, as I got charged a fair person's premium.
I told my husband the next time I was going, I was going to be 20 pounds lighter. It feels awful being around all the other guys' girlfriends and wives. Last time, there was a wedding on my birthday. My husband set up a spa day for me that day instead of going to the wedding. I had a lot of fun--way more fun than I would have at the wedding, I'm sure--but I didn't ask him to or complain about having to go. This is stupid. I know he's not ashamed of me, but...I guess, it was better for me anyway, because I would've felt self-conscious.
And to be fair, he wants to be 20 pounds lighter, too. He's also a twin, and the brother is much, much lighter, so he's dealing with an anchor, which must be really hard.
Anyway, the point is, that last night, he told me that his grandfather isn't doing so well. I asked if we needed to go, and he said he would talk to him mom about it more when she's here. That's not for three more months, so I guess the situation isn't DIRE, but it's not great.
So I need to get on the ball. I mean, OF COURSE, if circumstances required it, I would go without having achieved any weight loss, but I would also probably hide in a spa all the times that I wouldn't be with the family. On the other hand, why subject those poor ladies at the spa to that?
I feel dumb posting this. Part of me wants to just X out and forget about it.
But I won't. I don't know why not. I probably should.
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