Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Today I tallied most of my tracked meals from the last year or so to figure out what I eat overall. I got this idea from a link that Oliver (HAKAPES) posted on someone else's blog about meeting goals.
What got me thinking about this was this part:
"The rationale behind this advice is that people want as much variety as possible - otherwise why would restrictive diets be difficult to follow?
"Iíve found a different answer. People donít want variety. In fact, Iíd wager that the top 10 meals of the average person constitute 90% of what they end up eating."
So I wanted to create my Top 10, figure out what they were and how I could tweak them to make them better.
A tweaking wouldn't touch what I found.
Several times, I was putting two tallies for one meal time! TWO!!! No wonder!
But wait...there's more!!!
Here's my top 10:
10. Pizza (25)
9. Chicken Salad (34)
8. Egg Sandwich (36)
8. Chili (36)
6. Bagels (45)
5. Healthy Choice meals (46)
4. Mexican At Home (burritos, tacos, fajitas prepared at home) (49)
3. Sandwiches (67)
2. Cereal (68)
1.....with 69 tally marks...wait for it.....
JUNK (cupcakes, chips, jerky, candy, cookies)
NO EFFING WONDER I haven't lost NOTHIN' the last year. And let's be real, I haven't lost anything in the 4 years I've been on Spark.
Pizza? Bagels? Cereal? JUNK??? How OLD am I? SEVEN???
I'm appalled and ashamed. It's hard to write about, but I think I owe it to myself and to you guys to put it out there. How could I not see this? I mean, I thought I was doing this occasionally--not AT ALL with the frequency that this indicates.
And "they" said it was okay!!! Occasionally. Persistence, not perfection. Two steps forward....
NO, NO, NO!
I can't be doing this anymore.
So, now I have my top 10. I need to make them healthier. And, well, get rid of the top one altogether. I mean, not altogether altogether, but I cannot classify my meals as JUNK anymore; that is, I cannot have the majority of my calories in any meal come from junk.
Any healthy "tweaks" to the salvageable items on my list (i.e., chili) you want to mention, please do. This has been a wild eye-opener.
And thanks, Oliver!!! I think I'm on to something real.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
So, yesterday, I think someone replaced my morning wrap with a hormone.
I was a mess, and I am not to the point in my cycle where I have a convenient reason waiting for me to pick up on it.
I don't know why. And it wasn't big stuff that made sense to cry over. I was listening to some music that I listened to in the past. Spanish stuff, so I was hearing many of the lyrics for the first time, so I started weeping over that. Weeping over the beautiful lyrics, weeping over lost youth, weeping over the memories the songs brought. (I just rolled my eyes as I typed that last period.)
Then, my husband came home with a couple groceries. When I hugged him, I started weeping again because I just LOVE HIM SOOOO MUCH. (I just rolled my eyes again. Now I just chuckled.)
Then, he went back out to the car and brought in 2 dozen roses. (I just shook my head.)
Then, we watched "House." OMG, did you see last night's episode? It was deep, profound, beautiful. But only maybe a notch more these things than it normally is. By the end, I was sniffling and wiping my eyes. Okay, I probably would have done this regardless.
So I went to take a shower and get ready for bed. I'm full-blown crying now, quietly, so as not to disturb my housemate--in two senses of the word. Then, I got to thinking about emotional eating, and what would I eat in this situation if I were to emotionally eat?
And because I was so INTO my emotions, and because I was so messed up on hormones, I realized that the deep pain I was feeling (roll your eyes now) was so much more PROFOUND than potato chips, than most ice cream, than most chocolate. By the end of my shower, my list of emotional eating foods that were WORTHY of my hormone-induced sadness were hot fudge hardened over amazing vanilla ice cream, chocolate-covered strawberries....and that's pretty much it. Things I never eat when I'm overeating.
Anyway, the point is, that I got to thinking about if we paid attention to what we were eating while we were emotionally eating, we'd realize that we're better than a pint of cheap ice cream, better than a Kit Kat Bar, better than Pringles. And if we carefully selected our emotional eating foods based on how amazing and deep and important our feelings--even our silliest and most ridiculous emotions--were, we wouldn't eat so much garbage. We'd choose homemade mac and cheese instead of boxed, for example.
And if we had to go through that process each time, picking out the food most worthy of our emotions, then making it or going out and purchasing it, that could be really healing, I think. Plus, knowing that what you were eating was really decadent and worthy might make you feel decadent and worthy. I know that it does me, anyway.
I myself wasn't hungry at the time, so I had no intention of emotionally eating. None of the food I was thinking of was really appealing to me. I was thinking only from the standpoint of worthiness. That may have helped. In a hungry moment, maybe this much thinking doesn't go into it. But it does further demonstrate that
WE ARE WORTH IT.
Saturday, February 11, 2012
I went to go watch a buddy of mine from grad school play at a bar in Arlington on Thursday. Show started late--9pm--and I love my sleep, so I went ahead and took a vacation day on Friday to sleep in late. I'm to a point in my 7 Habits reading that I also felt like I needed a day to sit and ponder it, so my day off was billed as a mental health day.
Regarding mental health, I did not get as far into my 7 Habits pondering as I would have liked. Nor did I get enough cleaning done. I thought my mental health would be improved by a decluttering, and while I did get a little done, not near enough.
It turned out that a day such as this probably shouldn't be overscheduled, and maybe shouldn't include such irritants as going to the eye doctor or chopping jalapenos (hello, capsaicin burn!).
I did get my core values more or less determined, and I'm feeling inspired. I had hoped to put together a draft of a personal mission statement during my day off, but it didn't happen, and at the end of the day, I was falling asleep and definitely had to stick to "Quadrant IV" (Stephen Covey-speak for non-urgent, unimportant) activities.
I had an NSV on Friday as well. My day started off with a visit to my favorite masseur, Marlon. I heart massages like crazy, though I do often think, "Gosh, this poor guy has to touch my fat rolls, and my dry feet, and my unshaven legs!" so there are some stressors involved in even going. I try to remember that he must've seen worse, right--RIGHT??? and it's okay.
Well, I was in this situation, and he was working on my thighs, which have always been voluptuous and self-consciousness-inducing, even in my heyday, and I felt him touch something that kind of hurt. Then, he rubbed it again and said, "Hmm."
And I said, "Did you find a knot in my thigh?" which, while I suppose not an impossibility, would have been a first for me.
He answered, "Have you been working out?"
Wednesday, February 01, 2012
I did fine in January. I did a lot of what I said I would do. I cleaned the wall by Sammy's food bowl. I cleaned the microwave. I read three books, though not the three I said I would. However, I did not buy something to replace TV trays in my living room (we use them like a hutch, I guess). And I did not do what I said I would for my long-term career goal.
Regarding weight loss and fitness, I did great with exercise goals. I did ride my bike consistently after it arrived. I did ST when my housemate wasn't home. I did not do what I was supposed to for diet. I did not keep chips out of the house, and I did not stay in my range 6 days a week. But I did do well with eating more vegetables.
One thing that's cool is I got 959 fitness minutes. I did not set out for 1000 minutes, but I got close, anyway.
I'm not quite prepared to tell you specifically what I'm going to do this month, especially where cleaning the house and reading more are concerned. Reading I can throw out there that I want to finish 7 Habits and The Spark. For my third book...One Nation Under Therapy. Why not? It's already on my Kindle.
For exercise, I'll do what I'm doing. And why not? Let's shoot for 1000 minutes. It's a short month, but that's okay.
Diet: Definitely no chips in the house. Even if we have chili. And track everything.
I'll probably think of more when it isn't 3:30am, but this seems good for now. I feel good about February. Should be a good month, especially if this crazy weather holds!
Saturday, January 21, 2012
I have been losing weight the last three weeks. I just realized it today after I posted my penultimate weigh-in on the Starfish forum. It made me realize that this journey isn't made up of landmarks or milestones, but rather, the plodding along. I mean, losing 3 pounds in a week is great and all, but not if that's all you do for four weeks, gaining each subsequent week. Half a pound each week is way more effective, though less exciting.
So I need to make sure I'm paying attention to the smaller victories, so as not to get discouraged. I haven't been feeling soooo great about everything the last several weeks, but it turned out I'm doing very well, and I just hadn't noticed.
My husband thanked me today for bringing good food into the house of which he can eat a lot and not gain weight, and for the bike, and for telling him to make a map and take concrete steps if he wants to lose weight. Haram, this guy (I say that a lot IRL--haram is Arabic for "Poor," so, "my poor husband." As an aside, it also means "forbidden," so you gotta listen for context. Not sure if they're both spelled the same) I hope it's something we can keep up.
Today I ate a fried egg sammich on a multigrain thin, with a slice of ham, about an ounce of cheddar, and one Laughing Cow wedge on it. Lunch was a salad of spring mix, an avocado, and boneless buffalo wings I got from a SparkRecipe. I've considered making my Food Tracker public, but it creeps me out a little. Maybe the creeping me out thing is a reason FOR doing it, rather than AGAINST it. Thoughts?
As far as proactive language is concerned, I haven't heard much language today. I taught my lessons in the morning (which I don't think counts), then I watched "Judge Judy," then I took a 3-hour nap with Sammy. "Judge Judy" was an interesting study in the language, though. There was an episode (a rerun), where two nine-year-old boys' parents were in court because one of them threw a rock at the other. Both of the boys made the fatal mistake of LYING to Judy. The Plaintiff-boy started crying when he got caught in the fib, but the other one was very stoic and chill about the whole thing. When you heard the way the parents spoke, you understood why. Judy told the father of the Defendant-boy that this won't be the last time he's in court with the son, and the father didn't get it. He just kept making excuses. "It was self-defense," "the other boy lies more than my son," "but my son told me x," and so on. Not proactive, or particularly responsible, language.
Oh, and lookie up there! I found some reactive language in my blog! I was going to delete it when I saw it and be more proactive, but then I thought I'd point out my folly! Do you see it? Right there: "I hope it's something we can keep up." OF COURSE it's something we can keep up--if I CHOOSE to keep it up. Who's going to stop me? The moon? The grocery clerk? Frito-Lay? Only I control what I put in my shopping cart!
And my "Circle of Influence" (which is everything over which we have control, according to Steve Covey) has just expanded. BAM!
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