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A Survey of My Eating and Conclusions Thereof

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Today I tallied most of my tracked meals from the last year or so to figure out what I eat overall. I got this idea from a link that Oliver (HAKAPES) posted on someone else's blog about meeting goals.

What got me thinking about this was this part:

"The rationale behind this advice is that people want as much variety as possible - otherwise why would restrictive diets be difficult to follow?

"Iíve found a different answer. People donít want variety. In fact, Iíd wager that the top 10 meals of the average person constitute 90% of what they end up eating."

the99percent.com/tips/7040/Fix-Bad-H
abits-Insights-from-a-7-Year-Obsession


So I wanted to create my Top 10, figure out what they were and how I could tweak them to make them better.

A tweaking wouldn't touch what I found.

Several times, I was putting two tallies for one meal time! TWO!!! No wonder!

But wait...there's more!!!

Here's my top 10:

10. Pizza (25) emoticon
9. Chicken Salad (34) emoticon
8. Egg Sandwich (36) emoticon
8. Chili (36) emoticon
6. Bagels (45) emoticon
5. Healthy Choice meals (46)
4. Mexican At Home (burritos, tacos, fajitas prepared at home) (49) emoticon
3. Sandwiches (67) emoticon
2. Cereal (68) emoticon
1.....with 69 tally marks...wait for it.....

JUNK (cupcakes, chips, jerky, candy, cookies) emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

NO EFFING WONDER I haven't lost NOTHIN' the last year. And let's be real, I haven't lost anything in the 4 years I've been on Spark.

Pizza? Bagels? Cereal? JUNK??? How OLD am I? SEVEN???

I'm appalled and ashamed. It's hard to write about, but I think I owe it to myself and to you guys to put it out there. How could I not see this? I mean, I thought I was doing this occasionally--not AT ALL with the frequency that this indicates.

And "they" said it was okay!!! Occasionally. Persistence, not perfection. Two steps forward....

NO, NO, NO!

I can't be doing this anymore.

So, now I have my top 10. I need to make them healthier. And, well, get rid of the top one altogether. I mean, not altogether altogether, but I cannot classify my meals as JUNK anymore; that is, I cannot have the majority of my calories in any meal come from junk.

Any healthy "tweaks" to the salvageable items on my list (i.e., chili) you want to mention, please do. This has been a wild eye-opener.

And thanks, Oliver!!! I think I'm on to something real.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SEATTLESIMS 2/28/2012 6:01PM

    what a great idea! I need to take a look at my own top 10!


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EYES_ON_THEPRAZ 2/28/2012 11:56AM

    Wow, you are amazing/crazy for doing this! I don't even wanna knowwww how mine come out...I know Pizza and hamburgers would be high on the list!!
Here's my healthy chili:
1-1.25 lb ground turkey (whatever the package is)
1 cup no salt added tomato sauce (can) ...sometimes I add two cans
1 cup fresh salsa mild or medium or hot if you can handle
1 can rinsed well & drained kidney beans
chili powder, red pepper flakes

Brown the turkey in a big pot and then drain off any fat. Add in the remaining ingredients and stir to combine. Boil, reduce heat to low and cover for 30 mintues or more. It might not be super traditional but it hits the spot and all my nutrition ranges really well. Makes like 4 servings.

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4LEEFCLOVER 2/26/2012 5:14PM

    Well - that's amazing that you did track all of this food and then figured out how to review it! It looks like most of these choices are tweakable toward healthy choices, and portion size is important too. I'm always working on this too. Some of the things I do include:

My breakfast cereal must have at least 5 grams of fiber, and I add .25 oz walnuts, fresh berries if I have them. I like Silk soy milk on my cereal. I alternate with long cooking oatmeal with raisins and walnuts and a little agave nectar to sweeten..

Love pizza - only vegetarian, thin crust, as many veggies as possible, ask for half the cheese on top. Extra fresh garlic - yum!

I try to have protein, fiber, healthy fats in my snacks; helps to not want to keep eating more. Trade some sweets for fresh fruit - oranges in winter (peel and section this, put in plastic box to take to work), Honeycrisp apples are the best! Occasional 1/2 banana, berries. Dark chocolate, 1 serving, most days.

For sandwiches - check out Orowheat sandwich thins - 100 calories, 4 grams fiber, perfect size sandwich (fits veggie burgers perfectly).

Half a bagel is one serving!

Love Mexican - try ground chicken breast (season with fresh onion, garlic, oregano, cumin, a dash of olive oil) for taco meat on a salad with a few corn chips on the side, your favorite salsa for dressing. Veggies are easy to vary with this. Works well for Asian style stir frys too.

I find it helps to look at the things I love, and find ways to make them healthier. Don't get overwhelmed by the big picture. One thing at a time, then another, then another.

emoticon blog! emoticon
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 2/26/2012 5:17:50 PM

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MISSLISA1973 2/25/2012 12:35AM

    This is awesome. Another reason to track our meals. One day, I will. But I know junk is very high on my list as well. It's just everywhere, goes down easily, and seems so harmless. A few chips? Oh, they won't hurt. It's only a couple hundred calories, no big deal. But it adds up (on my waistline) quick! Thakns for this awesome blog!!!!

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KIM--POSSIBLE 2/24/2012 10:45PM

    Interesting! I know for myself, I eat pretty much the same foods a lot of the time. When I hit on something new, it might replace something old for a while, but the general meals don't really change much.
Breakfast: eggs with veggies, fruit with yogurt
Lunch: spinach salad with lots of veggies, lean meat with veggies
Dinner: lean meat with veggies
Snacks: protein bars, nuts, fruit
it would be interesting to add up the totals like you did

Hmm, so pizza was about once every 2 weeks. bagels and mexican were each about once per week. You have to decide if that constitutes "occasional" or not. Some of what you listed may be healthy, depending on how it is prepared. Look for ways to reduce sodium and unhealthy fats and to add veggies and healthy fats. Look at the averages for protein, carbs, and fats as well as sodium, fiber, calcium, and other nutrients and see if you are usually getting what you need. This top ten alone doesn't say a lot about what you are taking in.

Data alone doesn't do anything, it is what we do with that data that makes the difference! Look forward to seeing how this helps you improve on your efforts!

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SHARON10002 2/23/2012 8:02PM

    Wow, I'm impressed that you actually did this!!!!

I have shared a couple of my favorite chili recipes here on Spark.

Here's the first link:
http://recipes.sparkpeople
.com/recipe-detail.asp?recipe=1
294761
This is my new go to favorite. I've made it 5 times already this winter. It's spicy (not hot spicy) and hearty. For the ground beef, I use nothing LESS THAN 90% lean ground beef. This last time, I used 96% lean ground beef. I feel it's important to put the meat in as it really pumps up the protein.

Here's my former favorite, and one I used for years until I found the one above.
http://recipes.sparkpeopl
e.com/recipe-detail.asp?recipe=
1857909
Again same thing for the ground beef, and very flavorful.

I no longer eat bagels, or cereal, not even oatmeal. I make myself a protein shake to start my day.

I've made homemade pizza using Smart Wrap Tortillas. It make a really thin, crispy crust pizza, but cuts way down on the calories as the wrap is only 100 calories. I usually do veggie pizzas and use some good rich goat cheese and it is yummy.

I use Kraft Olive Oil mayo which is very tasty and low in fat and calories, but good in heart healthy fats because of the olive oil. My family loves it, and it tastes better than real mayo in our opinion.

For the Mexican, again I substitute the Smart Wraps. I use Cabot 75% Reduced Fat Sharp Cheese for the cheese. I usually do chicken, and plenty of lettuce, tomato salsa, fat free sour cream, and guacamole for heart healthy fat and flavor.

I've found adding more protein to my diet has curbed my appetite. I do one protein bar a day. for a snack. Find one you like. I'm a chocoholic and so I love the Zone Perfect Double Dark Chocolate. The coating is real dark Chocolate, and it totally satisfies my chocolate and sweet cravings. If You're a Snickers lover, Detour Lower Sugar Caramel Peanut bar is the ticket.

When I eat eggs, I do a 3 egg omelet, using 1 whole egg, and 2 whites. I add whatever else I want to that, usually veggies, and some sort of cheese, and maybe some canadain bacon if I am wanting meat.

I hope you'll try some of these suggestions. If you try the chilies, I'd love your feedback, too!

Best of luck!


Comment edited on: 2/23/2012 8:08:05 PM

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SAVVYSAVANNAH 2/23/2012 5:54PM

    Don't worry now you know what you were doing wrong and you can fix it. That's what's so great you can fix it and make it all better. I know you can do it.

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AMYLONGHORN 2/23/2012 4:00PM

    Sometimes you NEED that eye opener, huh?! Since getting back on Spark last year after seeing you on it while we were in Orlando, I too have lost NOTHING! I feel like my eating has been better than before, but I don't track my eating, so that's Issue #1 for me. Issue #2? Getting my butt moving!! Now that I recognize my issues, AND the fact that there are 198 days til Robin's wedding in September (gulp), there's my eye-opener!! Let's have our eyes open together and DO THIS! Love you, sister!!

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CCASKEY37 2/23/2012 7:30AM

    Spark recipes (and a sense of adventure) is helping me a lot. I found a tuna salad recipe with salsa instead of mayo. Sounds gross but it turned out very tasty.

Also, when I feel it spiriling out of control, I ban all junk for a week or two. Just to get me back on track. I replace the chips and sweets with almonds, cashews, apples, oranges, bananas, etc...

Last, I find it helpful to plan my whole day's eating ahead sometimes. Althought it is a pain to go back and change it on the tracker if I change my mind.

So anyway... What's done is done and there is not need to be ashamed or discouraged. Just use that information to move ahead.

emoticon

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MADAMES 2/23/2012 4:40AM

    Brenda, I love this idea..I also need to face my diet and analyze it the way you did. Very inspirational!

emoticon

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ACCEPTHECHLNGE 2/22/2012 11:27PM

    Brenda, what an eye-opener, and great comments from Ruth. For salads, like chicken or egg, I always use half low-fat mayo and half low-fat (or Greek) yogurt. Cuts down on calories.
Yes, I, too, am curious what you plan on changing to reach your goal. Maybe, we should encourage the 'Starfishies' during the Spring Challenge to recommend some low-calorie, heart-healthy recipes for you and all of us to try. It doesn't mean we will all like what others suggests, but you would be surprised what new recipes you could pick up.
I just tried a new salad, with red and yellow beets, blood oranges, Cara, Cara oranges, finely sliced fennel and thinly sliced red onions, topped with the juices of the oranges and olive oil. Healthy, delicious and low in calories.
So, you never know. Become a little more adventurous.
You had the courage to analyze your eating habits, so, now go and do something about it.

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GETSTRONGRRR 2/22/2012 10:50PM

    What a great idea!! Congrats on cracking a pretty nifty code and having the strength 7 courage to put it down on paper (or LCD or whatever medium we want to call this).

Looking forward to hearing what your Top 10 is this time next year!

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RUTHXG 2/22/2012 10:43PM

    Oh yeah, that sounds real! What an AWESOME exercise you have done here.

Tweaks?

Minimiz
e bagels. They really aren't that good for you, & tons of calories.

Minimize the meat in homemade chili. Make it mostly vegetarian, mostly beans & veggies. Spice it up good so it's very mouth-satisfying.

Try to get legume dishes into your top 10, besides chili. Lentils, how do I love thee. Curry, I genuflect before thy goodness.

Make pizza an occasional treat (as in once every couple of months or so). I do love pizza myself--but it doesn't provide much fiber, vitamins, or protein, just lots of simple carbs & saturated fats. So only the best pizza, & only occasionally, & enjoyed thoroughly.

Make chicken salad & egg salad substituting fat-free sour cream for part or all of the mayo. Use plenty of mustard for flavor. Chop up fresh parsley & celery to add. Oh, so good the thought makes my mouth water--but not laden with empty calories.

Keep making Mexican at home--but use smaller tortillas; those suckers are BIG calorie sinks! Minimize the cheese too; use just a touch of fresh parmesan or sharp cheddar--more flavor per gram. Load up the veggies--fajitas, yum!

Those are my thoughts! Now I'm off to pack for my Big Trip to L.A. emoticon to you, smart woman!

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Better Than Ice Cream

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

So, yesterday, I think someone replaced my morning wrap with a hormone.

I was a mess, and I am not to the point in my cycle where I have a convenient reason waiting for me to pick up on it.

I don't know why. And it wasn't big stuff that made sense to cry over. I was listening to some music that I listened to in the past. Spanish stuff, so I was hearing many of the lyrics for the first time, so I started weeping over that. Weeping over the beautiful lyrics, weeping over lost youth, weeping over the memories the songs brought. (I just rolled my eyes as I typed that last period.)

Then, my husband came home with a couple groceries. When I hugged him, I started weeping again because I just LOVE HIM SOOOO MUCH. (I just rolled my eyes again. Now I just chuckled.)

Then, he went back out to the car and brought in 2 dozen roses. (I just shook my head.)

Then, we watched "House." OMG, did you see last night's episode? It was deep, profound, beautiful. But only maybe a notch more these things than it normally is. By the end, I was sniffling and wiping my eyes. Okay, I probably would have done this regardless.

So I went to take a shower and get ready for bed. I'm full-blown crying now, quietly, so as not to disturb my housemate--in two senses of the word. Then, I got to thinking about emotional eating, and what would I eat in this situation if I were to emotionally eat?

And because I was so INTO my emotions, and because I was so messed up on hormones, I realized that the deep pain I was feeling (roll your eyes now) was so much more PROFOUND than potato chips, than most ice cream, than most chocolate. By the end of my shower, my list of emotional eating foods that were WORTHY of my hormone-induced sadness were hot fudge hardened over amazing vanilla ice cream, chocolate-covered strawberries....and that's pretty much it. Things I never eat when I'm overeating.

Anyway, the point is, that I got to thinking about if we paid attention to what we were eating while we were emotionally eating, we'd realize that we're better than a pint of cheap ice cream, better than a Kit Kat Bar, better than Pringles. And if we carefully selected our emotional eating foods based on how amazing and deep and important our feelings--even our silliest and most ridiculous emotions--were, we wouldn't eat so much garbage. We'd choose homemade mac and cheese instead of boxed, for example.

And if we had to go through that process each time, picking out the food most worthy of our emotions, then making it or going out and purchasing it, that could be really healing, I think. Plus, knowing that what you were eating was really decadent and worthy might make you feel decadent and worthy. I know that it does me, anyway.

I myself wasn't hungry at the time, so I had no intention of emotionally eating. None of the food I was thinking of was really appealing to me. I was thinking only from the standpoint of worthiness. That may have helped. In a hungry moment, maybe this much thinking doesn't go into it. But it does further demonstrate that

WE ARE WORTH IT.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CARLYG8 2/22/2012 6:45PM

    Okay, so as I read the title of this blog..."Better than Ice Cream", I was reminded of a funny conversation with my mom...(yes my mom!). So anyway, my former fat self used to love ice cream, and I had found Edy's Cherry Chocolate Chip ice cream (which they don't make anymore...I think...and thank God they don't). I couldn't get enough of this ice cream. My folks had come down to visit us, and I told my mom that she needed to try some of this ice cream. She said..."hmmm...maybe later." (Who does that with ice cream??) So I proceed to tell her that she has got to try it now, that it is better than sex...(I know right??...remember I am talking to my mom). She looks me straight in the face, and laughs. I am like being totally serious. If I had to choose, (at least back then), I think the ice cream might have won. So she asks for a "taste". I give her a scoop in a bowl, and as she takes the first bite, she is going, "MMMMMMmmmm...". So I look her straight in the face and asked her, "so when was the last time you said that in bed"!!! **we still giggle about that one 15 years later. Better than ice cream??? Hmmmm.... (laughs)
emoticon emoticon ??

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EYES_ON_THEPRAZ 2/17/2012 6:26PM

    Great blog, Brenda! I can really relate to this because I feel like an emotional mess more often than not!

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MISSLISA1973 2/16/2012 6:16AM

    What a great blog. Excellent!

When I first read the title of the blog, I thought of something else better than ice cream. It feels so good to have so much control now that I have had ice cream in the freezer since Saturday and not even eaten a single bite. Self-control is also better than ice cream.

ROCK ON! emoticon

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GETSTRONGRRR 2/14/2012 8:34PM

    Well damn right....life is too short to eat crappy food!!

If you're diving in to the well, make it worth the effort, stand up proudly and declare, "Yes, I had a $20 bar of Godiva chocolate!!"

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SHRINKINGLULU 2/14/2012 2:19PM

    Very true! Great job working through and feeling those emotions!

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HELLODANAE 2/14/2012 11:45AM

    It so wonderful to be a girl, isn't it?!!!!!!!!! emoticon my husband now hugs me when I have does moments no questions ask so I learned from him, sometimes I just enjoy the moment (crying) and you are so right WE ARE WORTH IT!!!

emoticon

the past such a thing too, I do that once in a while too!!

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RUTHXG 2/14/2012 11:27AM

    Have I told you lately that you're exTREMEly lovable? Well, I am now, & not because it's Valentine's Day. This was such an unexpected, sweet reflection! And I totally agree that we should honor our emotions by refusing to settle for paltry emotional eating. Only the most exquisite delicacies can live up to our deep emotional lives!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Mental Health Day

Saturday, February 11, 2012

I went to go watch a buddy of mine from grad school play at a bar in Arlington on Thursday. Show started late--9pm--and I love my sleep, so I went ahead and took a vacation day on Friday to sleep in late. I'm to a point in my 7 Habits reading that I also felt like I needed a day to sit and ponder it, so my day off was billed as a mental health day.

Regarding mental health, I did not get as far into my 7 Habits pondering as I would have liked. Nor did I get enough cleaning done. I thought my mental health would be improved by a decluttering, and while I did get a little done, not near enough.

It turned out that a day such as this probably shouldn't be overscheduled, and maybe shouldn't include such irritants as going to the eye doctor or chopping jalapenos (hello, capsaicin burn!).

I did get my core values more or less determined, and I'm feeling inspired. I had hoped to put together a draft of a personal mission statement during my day off, but it didn't happen, and at the end of the day, I was falling asleep and definitely had to stick to "Quadrant IV" (Stephen Covey-speak for non-urgent, unimportant) activities.

I had an NSV on Friday as well. My day started off with a visit to my favorite masseur, Marlon. I heart massages like crazy, though I do often think, "Gosh, this poor guy has to touch my fat rolls, and my dry feet, and my unshaven legs!" so there are some stressors involved in even going. I try to remember that he must've seen worse, right--RIGHT??? and it's okay.

Well, I was in this situation, and he was working on my thighs, which have always been voluptuous and self-consciousness-inducing, even in my heyday, and I felt him touch something that kind of hurt. Then, he rubbed it again and said, "Hmm."

And I said, "Did you find a knot in my thigh?" which, while I suppose not an impossibility, would have been a first for me.

He answered, "Have you been working out?"

YESSSSSSSSSS!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EYES_ON_THEPRAZ 2/17/2012 5:59PM

    Awesome!! You are brave for getting massages and I'm so glad you got a compliment, too!

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HELLODANAE 2/13/2012 12:03PM

    I know the feeling, you just want to turn and KISS him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! well or at least say thank you emoticon
emoticon emoticon

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RUTHXG 2/12/2012 10:09PM

    emoticon I love how he broke through all your negative expectations!

And I agree--it's just fabulous that you took a day for yourself. I would guess it's going to make a difference going forward, even if it's subtle.

Yikes on the jalape√Īo burn--I have done that too! Now I wear thin plastic gloves when I cut them up.

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CARLYG8 2/12/2012 3:40PM

    WOOT!How did you manage to make it through the rest of the massage?? I would have been jumpin' around like a crazy person!! You go girl!!

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HOPESINGH 2/12/2012 4:34AM

    It's so good to read you took a day off just to ponder and think about yourself, and that you got a massage. Especially with the not-so-hidden compliment from the masseur. emoticon

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MISSLISA1973 2/12/2012 2:22AM

    Nice! emoticon

I've got a book on my library list about creating a personal mission statement. I first read the 7 Habits a few years ago and have never made the mission statement. I think it's about time. Following your blog makes me want to go back and read it again. It's an excellent classic!

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ACCEPTHECHLNGE 2/11/2012 10:51PM

    Music to your ears, I bet!

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LINDABENEDICT 2/11/2012 10:36PM

    bonus !!!

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Oh, hello, February!

Wednesday, February 01, 2012

I did fine in January. I did a lot of what I said I would do. I cleaned the wall by Sammy's food bowl. I cleaned the microwave. I read three books, though not the three I said I would. However, I did not buy something to replace TV trays in my living room (we use them like a hutch, I guess). And I did not do what I said I would for my long-term career goal.

Regarding weight loss and fitness, I did great with exercise goals. I did ride my bike consistently after it arrived. I did ST when my housemate wasn't home. I did not do what I was supposed to for diet. I did not keep chips out of the house, and I did not stay in my range 6 days a week. But I did do well with eating more vegetables.

One thing that's cool is I got 959 fitness minutes. I did not set out for 1000 minutes, but I got close, anyway.

I'm not quite prepared to tell you specifically what I'm going to do this month, especially where cleaning the house and reading more are concerned. Reading I can throw out there that I want to finish 7 Habits and The Spark. For my third book...One Nation Under Therapy. Why not? It's already on my Kindle.

For exercise, I'll do what I'm doing. And why not? Let's shoot for 1000 minutes. It's a short month, but that's okay.

Diet: Definitely no chips in the house. Even if we have chili. And track everything.

I'll probably think of more when it isn't 3:30am, but this seems good for now. I feel good about February. Should be a good month, especially if this crazy weather holds!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AMYLONGHORN 2/2/2012 9:24AM

    February is the month I get to seeeeeeee you!! Do you realize we will have seen each other TWICE this year already?! Like whoa!! :)

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EYES_ON_THEPRAZ 2/1/2012 6:55PM

    Way to go! I can't believe I have to get to 1,000 minutes with 2 less days this month... but if we stay aware we can do it!

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HELLODANAE 2/1/2012 2:10PM

    emoticon you can do it!!!
I'm still thinking about my year's resolutions emoticon

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HONBAD 2/1/2012 1:56PM

    emoticon

My husband is reading the 7 Habits book. I want to read it after he is done!

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RUTHXG 2/1/2012 10:53AM

    emoticon job in January! And here's to more of the same in February! Most years the weather makes it feel like the LONGEST month to me, despite what the calendar says. At least this year that may not be the case.

Yay for you! emoticon

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CARLYG8 2/1/2012 8:05AM

    sounds like a FEB-u-lous plan to me!!!!


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GETSTRONGRRR 2/1/2012 6:04AM

    Go for it....you can do them all!

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MISSLISA1973 2/1/2012 5:08AM

    How great to set goals and then review how you did. Sounds like you did great in January, even if you didn't quite make all your goals. Keep up the great work!

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HOPESINGH 2/1/2012 4:01AM

    Sounds like a very good month.
I'd say - do try to do even a little bit towards your long term career goals, even if it's scary (that's the way I feel about them). Just tiny baby steps.


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Consistently...

Saturday, January 21, 2012

I have been losing weight the last three weeks. I just realized it today after I posted my penultimate weigh-in on the Starfish forum. It made me realize that this journey isn't made up of landmarks or milestones, but rather, the plodding along. I mean, losing 3 pounds in a week is great and all, but not if that's all you do for four weeks, gaining each subsequent week. Half a pound each week is way more effective, though less exciting.

So I need to make sure I'm paying attention to the smaller victories, so as not to get discouraged. I haven't been feeling soooo great about everything the last several weeks, but it turned out I'm doing very well, and I just hadn't noticed.

My husband thanked me today for bringing good food into the house of which he can eat a lot and not gain weight, and for the bike, and for telling him to make a map and take concrete steps if he wants to lose weight. Haram, this guy (I say that a lot IRL--haram is Arabic for "Poor," so, "my poor husband." As an aside, it also means "forbidden," so you gotta listen for context. Not sure if they're both spelled the same) I hope it's something we can keep up.

Today I ate a fried egg sammich on a multigrain thin, with a slice of ham, about an ounce of cheddar, and one Laughing Cow wedge on it. Lunch was a salad of spring mix, an avocado, and boneless buffalo wings I got from a SparkRecipe. I've considered making my Food Tracker public, but it creeps me out a little. Maybe the creeping me out thing is a reason FOR doing it, rather than AGAINST it. Thoughts?

As far as proactive language is concerned, I haven't heard much language today. I taught my lessons in the morning (which I don't think counts), then I watched "Judge Judy," then I took a 3-hour nap with Sammy. "Judge Judy" was an interesting study in the language, though. There was an episode (a rerun), where two nine-year-old boys' parents were in court because one of them threw a rock at the other. Both of the boys made the fatal mistake of LYING to Judy. The Plaintiff-boy started crying when he got caught in the fib, but the other one was very stoic and chill about the whole thing. When you heard the way the parents spoke, you understood why. Judy told the father of the Defendant-boy that this won't be the last time he's in court with the son, and the father didn't get it. He just kept making excuses. "It was self-defense," "the other boy lies more than my son," "but my son told me x," and so on. Not proactive, or particularly responsible, language.

Oh, and lookie up there! I found some reactive language in my blog! I was going to delete it when I saw it and be more proactive, but then I thought I'd point out my folly! Do you see it? Right there: "I hope it's something we can keep up." OF COURSE it's something we can keep up--if I CHOOSE to keep it up. Who's going to stop me? The moon? The grocery clerk? Frito-Lay? Only I control what I put in my shopping cart!

And my "Circle of Influence" (which is everything over which we have control, according to Steve Covey) has just expanded. BAM! emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JSPEED4 1/31/2012 4:12AM

    Strange, that our world worships the Dads when the breasts and whole-brain functions are with the mother. I always did the disciplining of the young children. They need immediate responses, not time to fantasize about what is going on; or some time lag, so they think, as they get older, that they can get away from the results of their actions.

Discipline is about training. It isn't all punishment. Whole-brained thinking can bypass punishment much of the time, creating more discipline than punishment ever can.

The research by Hirschi that claims that boys--now extrapolated to girls, too, though they were not included in the research data--need a good relationship with their Fathers. This is to keep boys from criminal activity and is called the Social Theory. This all was re-evaluated by Green in 1999 or early in 2000. Green is a Sociologist who specializes in statistical analysis. The research, when processed correctly, actually shows that is makes 1/2 of 1% difference if the Father is a big factor in a boy's life!

Joint custody--that abnormality of modern age, came about because Hirschi's data was evaluated improperly. In my sociology research, I once almost did the same statistical mistake. The instructor immediately caught it. At an intuitive level, the mathematical process seemed wise; but it was not the usual mathematical procedure, and skews the data by looking at just proportions WAY too early in the process. emoticon

Comment edited on: 1/31/2012 4:18:23 AM

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ANNASBF 1/23/2012 5:11PM

    Hehehehe.... Frito Lay.... hehehehe

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EYES_ON_THEPRAZ 1/23/2012 2:09PM

    I haven't made my food tracker public either, for the same reason. Then i'm thinking, really, who is going to look at it? I never really look at anyone's trackers. Maybe once in a while!

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THISISIT-PA 1/22/2012 2:53PM

    Plodding is awesome! I'm a plodder too. For whatever reason, I often stay the same weight for 5 or 8 or 12 days, then I'll lose 2-3 pounds in 1-2 days. Frustrating, yes, but I've learned to accept it, and trust that the weight will come off. I just keep on keeping on.

I keep my trackers open. It helps my accountability. They're not perfect but they work for me.

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MISSLISA1973 1/22/2012 11:50AM

    You're rockin' awesome. Keep plodding along!

I work for the Department of Correction. I hear a lot of entitlement language and "it was someone else's fault" language from both offenders and their families. It is vitally important to take responsibility for one's own life and one's own decisions. Yes, that guy cut you off in traffic, but you choose how to respond. Yes, Frito Lay makes great chips, advertises the snot out of them, and makes them easy to eat, but we choose to purchase them or to walk away. You've got it sister! emoticon

As far as making your food tracker public, I think you probably should. I don't think many people look at them anyway, unless they are looking at someone they want to emulate. But it could give you a little more accountability when you eat. You may start thinking to yourself, "Do I really want to post that I ate all that?" If, however, you might be tempted not to be fully honest on your tracking, then it would be better to be fully honest and keep it private. emoticon

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HOPESINGH 1/22/2012 1:22AM

    It's funny to find some Arabic words inside a spark blog. I'm pretty sure it's exactly the same work, it's probably just a polysemic word.
Woo hoo for the progress and the proactive attitude!

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KIM--POSSIBLE 1/21/2012 10:35PM

    Congrats on your consistent weight loss! That is awesome! I think it is really neat that your husband thanked you for buying healthy food. I am seeing changes in how my husband looks at the foods we buy as well. He was reading labels at the grocery tonight, looking beyond just calories at the salt content and fat in a variety of brands. He made a choice to buy real cheese for himself instead of the processed "American cheese" slices he used to buy! Small steps will add up!

I made my tracker public a long time ago, but I don't know if anyone reads it either. Now that I am changing my nutrition plan, I thought about making it private again, but there probably isn't much point. I never remember to track my exercise anyway, so not much to look at there!

Love the focus on reactive/proactive language. I tend to think of it as passive versus assertive. Are things simply happening to us, beyond our control (thus we are passive participants) or are we asserting our own control over what happens to us, through choices and discussion? Something to think about.

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CARLYG8 1/21/2012 8:53PM

    Love it!! Especially the part about who is going to stop you...the grocery clerk? Frito-Lay?...funny stuff. I was joking with hubby the other day that since our son got his braces put on our grocery bill has been slashed almost in half because he can't eat anything crunchy, sticky, hard, and chewy. I expect to be getting a letter from Kroger inquiring if everything is okay at our house. And Orville is probably working on his "please come back " letter as we speak (no popcorn allowed either!)

Oh...and the best part about your blog?? BAM! 3 pounds gone!! You go girl!!! ~hugs~

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RUTHXG 1/21/2012 8:14PM

    P.S. On making your trackers public: I've had mine, both food & exercise, public all along, but I don't think anyone ever looks at them! Even when I was tracking food very consistently, I never got any comments about it. I just don't think Sparkers have that much time. So for me it's a nonissue.

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RUTHXG 1/21/2012 5:17PM

    Oh yay, congrats on losing weight! Little by little is the BEST way.

And now I get to read some example of reactive & proactive language! I totally see how it will make a real difference to assert what you can & will do, rather than slouching verbally into "we'll see what happens." You can't control everything, but you certainly CAN control what food you eat.

It's super-sweet that your husband is thanking you for choosing healthy foods & giving him other fitness nudges!

emoticon

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GRACEFULJOURNEY 1/21/2012 4:39PM

    Well written. I think about the "law of attraction".... you get back what you give out. Always state the positive. if you state that you don't want a negative, you get the negative even though you stated that you didn't want it. you got it since that was the image/thought that was sent out into the universe.....

Great job on the weight loss! emoticon

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