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Mental Health Day

Saturday, February 11, 2012

I went to go watch a buddy of mine from grad school play at a bar in Arlington on Thursday. Show started late--9pm--and I love my sleep, so I went ahead and took a vacation day on Friday to sleep in late. I'm to a point in my 7 Habits reading that I also felt like I needed a day to sit and ponder it, so my day off was billed as a mental health day.

Regarding mental health, I did not get as far into my 7 Habits pondering as I would have liked. Nor did I get enough cleaning done. I thought my mental health would be improved by a decluttering, and while I did get a little done, not near enough.

It turned out that a day such as this probably shouldn't be overscheduled, and maybe shouldn't include such irritants as going to the eye doctor or chopping jalapenos (hello, capsaicin burn!).

I did get my core values more or less determined, and I'm feeling inspired. I had hoped to put together a draft of a personal mission statement during my day off, but it didn't happen, and at the end of the day, I was falling asleep and definitely had to stick to "Quadrant IV" (Stephen Covey-speak for non-urgent, unimportant) activities.

I had an NSV on Friday as well. My day started off with a visit to my favorite masseur, Marlon. I heart massages like crazy, though I do often think, "Gosh, this poor guy has to touch my fat rolls, and my dry feet, and my unshaven legs!" so there are some stressors involved in even going. I try to remember that he must've seen worse, right--RIGHT??? and it's okay.

Well, I was in this situation, and he was working on my thighs, which have always been voluptuous and self-consciousness-inducing, even in my heyday, and I felt him touch something that kind of hurt. Then, he rubbed it again and said, "Hmm."

And I said, "Did you find a knot in my thigh?" which, while I suppose not an impossibility, would have been a first for me.

He answered, "Have you been working out?"

YESSSSSSSSSS!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EYES_ON_THEPRAZ 2/17/2012 5:59PM

    Awesome!! You are brave for getting massages and I'm so glad you got a compliment, too!

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HELLODANAE 2/13/2012 12:03PM

    I know the feeling, you just want to turn and KISS him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! well or at least say thank you emoticon
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RUTHXG 2/12/2012 10:09PM

    emoticon I love how he broke through all your negative expectations!

And I agree--it's just fabulous that you took a day for yourself. I would guess it's going to make a difference going forward, even if it's subtle.

Yikes on the jalapeƱo burn--I have done that too! Now I wear thin plastic gloves when I cut them up.

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CARLYG8 2/12/2012 3:40PM

    WOOT!How did you manage to make it through the rest of the massage?? I would have been jumpin' around like a crazy person!! You go girl!!

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HOPESINGH 2/12/2012 4:34AM

    It's so good to read you took a day off just to ponder and think about yourself, and that you got a massage. Especially with the not-so-hidden compliment from the masseur. emoticon

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MISSLISA1973 2/12/2012 2:22AM

    Nice! emoticon

I've got a book on my library list about creating a personal mission statement. I first read the 7 Habits a few years ago and have never made the mission statement. I think it's about time. Following your blog makes me want to go back and read it again. It's an excellent classic!

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ACCEPTHECHLNGE 2/11/2012 10:51PM

    Music to your ears, I bet!

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LINDABENEDICT 2/11/2012 10:36PM

    bonus !!!

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Oh, hello, February!

Wednesday, February 01, 2012

I did fine in January. I did a lot of what I said I would do. I cleaned the wall by Sammy's food bowl. I cleaned the microwave. I read three books, though not the three I said I would. However, I did not buy something to replace TV trays in my living room (we use them like a hutch, I guess). And I did not do what I said I would for my long-term career goal.

Regarding weight loss and fitness, I did great with exercise goals. I did ride my bike consistently after it arrived. I did ST when my housemate wasn't home. I did not do what I was supposed to for diet. I did not keep chips out of the house, and I did not stay in my range 6 days a week. But I did do well with eating more vegetables.

One thing that's cool is I got 959 fitness minutes. I did not set out for 1000 minutes, but I got close, anyway.

I'm not quite prepared to tell you specifically what I'm going to do this month, especially where cleaning the house and reading more are concerned. Reading I can throw out there that I want to finish 7 Habits and The Spark. For my third book...One Nation Under Therapy. Why not? It's already on my Kindle.

For exercise, I'll do what I'm doing. And why not? Let's shoot for 1000 minutes. It's a short month, but that's okay.

Diet: Definitely no chips in the house. Even if we have chili. And track everything.

I'll probably think of more when it isn't 3:30am, but this seems good for now. I feel good about February. Should be a good month, especially if this crazy weather holds!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AMYLONGHORN 2/2/2012 9:24AM

    February is the month I get to seeeeeeee you!! Do you realize we will have seen each other TWICE this year already?! Like whoa!! :)

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EYES_ON_THEPRAZ 2/1/2012 6:55PM

    Way to go! I can't believe I have to get to 1,000 minutes with 2 less days this month... but if we stay aware we can do it!

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HELLODANAE 2/1/2012 2:10PM

    emoticon you can do it!!!
I'm still thinking about my year's resolutions emoticon

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HONBAD 2/1/2012 1:56PM

    emoticon

My husband is reading the 7 Habits book. I want to read it after he is done!

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RUTHXG 2/1/2012 10:53AM

    emoticon job in January! And here's to more of the same in February! Most years the weather makes it feel like the LONGEST month to me, despite what the calendar says. At least this year that may not be the case.

Yay for you! emoticon

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CARLYG8 2/1/2012 8:05AM

    sounds like a FEB-u-lous plan to me!!!!


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GETSTRONGRRR 2/1/2012 6:04AM

    Go for it....you can do them all!

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MISSLISA1973 2/1/2012 5:08AM

    How great to set goals and then review how you did. Sounds like you did great in January, even if you didn't quite make all your goals. Keep up the great work!

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HOPESINGH 2/1/2012 4:01AM

    Sounds like a very good month.
I'd say - do try to do even a little bit towards your long term career goals, even if it's scary (that's the way I feel about them). Just tiny baby steps.


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Consistently...

Saturday, January 21, 2012

I have been losing weight the last three weeks. I just realized it today after I posted my penultimate weigh-in on the Starfish forum. It made me realize that this journey isn't made up of landmarks or milestones, but rather, the plodding along. I mean, losing 3 pounds in a week is great and all, but not if that's all you do for four weeks, gaining each subsequent week. Half a pound each week is way more effective, though less exciting.

So I need to make sure I'm paying attention to the smaller victories, so as not to get discouraged. I haven't been feeling soooo great about everything the last several weeks, but it turned out I'm doing very well, and I just hadn't noticed.

My husband thanked me today for bringing good food into the house of which he can eat a lot and not gain weight, and for the bike, and for telling him to make a map and take concrete steps if he wants to lose weight. Haram, this guy (I say that a lot IRL--haram is Arabic for "Poor," so, "my poor husband." As an aside, it also means "forbidden," so you gotta listen for context. Not sure if they're both spelled the same) I hope it's something we can keep up.

Today I ate a fried egg sammich on a multigrain thin, with a slice of ham, about an ounce of cheddar, and one Laughing Cow wedge on it. Lunch was a salad of spring mix, an avocado, and boneless buffalo wings I got from a SparkRecipe. I've considered making my Food Tracker public, but it creeps me out a little. Maybe the creeping me out thing is a reason FOR doing it, rather than AGAINST it. Thoughts?

As far as proactive language is concerned, I haven't heard much language today. I taught my lessons in the morning (which I don't think counts), then I watched "Judge Judy," then I took a 3-hour nap with Sammy. "Judge Judy" was an interesting study in the language, though. There was an episode (a rerun), where two nine-year-old boys' parents were in court because one of them threw a rock at the other. Both of the boys made the fatal mistake of LYING to Judy. The Plaintiff-boy started crying when he got caught in the fib, but the other one was very stoic and chill about the whole thing. When you heard the way the parents spoke, you understood why. Judy told the father of the Defendant-boy that this won't be the last time he's in court with the son, and the father didn't get it. He just kept making excuses. "It was self-defense," "the other boy lies more than my son," "but my son told me x," and so on. Not proactive, or particularly responsible, language.

Oh, and lookie up there! I found some reactive language in my blog! I was going to delete it when I saw it and be more proactive, but then I thought I'd point out my folly! Do you see it? Right there: "I hope it's something we can keep up." OF COURSE it's something we can keep up--if I CHOOSE to keep it up. Who's going to stop me? The moon? The grocery clerk? Frito-Lay? Only I control what I put in my shopping cart!

And my "Circle of Influence" (which is everything over which we have control, according to Steve Covey) has just expanded. BAM! emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JSPEED4 1/31/2012 4:12AM

    Strange, that our world worships the Dads when the breasts and whole-brain functions are with the mother. I always did the disciplining of the young children. They need immediate responses, not time to fantasize about what is going on; or some time lag, so they think, as they get older, that they can get away from the results of their actions.

Discipline is about training. It isn't all punishment. Whole-brained thinking can bypass punishment much of the time, creating more discipline than punishment ever can.

The research by Hirschi that claims that boys--now extrapolated to girls, too, though they were not included in the research data--need a good relationship with their Fathers. This is to keep boys from criminal activity and is called the Social Theory. This all was re-evaluated by Green in 1999 or early in 2000. Green is a Sociologist who specializes in statistical analysis. The research, when processed correctly, actually shows that is makes 1/2 of 1% difference if the Father is a big factor in a boy's life!

Joint custody--that abnormality of modern age, came about because Hirschi's data was evaluated improperly. In my sociology research, I once almost did the same statistical mistake. The instructor immediately caught it. At an intuitive level, the mathematical process seemed wise; but it was not the usual mathematical procedure, and skews the data by looking at just proportions WAY too early in the process. emoticon

Comment edited on: 1/31/2012 4:18:23 AM

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ANNASBF 1/23/2012 5:11PM

    Hehehehe.... Frito Lay.... hehehehe

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EYES_ON_THEPRAZ 1/23/2012 2:09PM

    I haven't made my food tracker public either, for the same reason. Then i'm thinking, really, who is going to look at it? I never really look at anyone's trackers. Maybe once in a while!

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THISISIT-PA 1/22/2012 2:53PM

    Plodding is awesome! I'm a plodder too. For whatever reason, I often stay the same weight for 5 or 8 or 12 days, then I'll lose 2-3 pounds in 1-2 days. Frustrating, yes, but I've learned to accept it, and trust that the weight will come off. I just keep on keeping on.

I keep my trackers open. It helps my accountability. They're not perfect but they work for me.

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MISSLISA1973 1/22/2012 11:50AM

    You're rockin' awesome. Keep plodding along!

I work for the Department of Correction. I hear a lot of entitlement language and "it was someone else's fault" language from both offenders and their families. It is vitally important to take responsibility for one's own life and one's own decisions. Yes, that guy cut you off in traffic, but you choose how to respond. Yes, Frito Lay makes great chips, advertises the snot out of them, and makes them easy to eat, but we choose to purchase them or to walk away. You've got it sister! emoticon

As far as making your food tracker public, I think you probably should. I don't think many people look at them anyway, unless they are looking at someone they want to emulate. But it could give you a little more accountability when you eat. You may start thinking to yourself, "Do I really want to post that I ate all that?" If, however, you might be tempted not to be fully honest on your tracking, then it would be better to be fully honest and keep it private. emoticon

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HOPESINGH 1/22/2012 1:22AM

    It's funny to find some Arabic words inside a spark blog. I'm pretty sure it's exactly the same work, it's probably just a polysemic word.
Woo hoo for the progress and the proactive attitude!

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KIM--POSSIBLE 1/21/2012 10:35PM

    Congrats on your consistent weight loss! That is awesome! I think it is really neat that your husband thanked you for buying healthy food. I am seeing changes in how my husband looks at the foods we buy as well. He was reading labels at the grocery tonight, looking beyond just calories at the salt content and fat in a variety of brands. He made a choice to buy real cheese for himself instead of the processed "American cheese" slices he used to buy! Small steps will add up!

I made my tracker public a long time ago, but I don't know if anyone reads it either. Now that I am changing my nutrition plan, I thought about making it private again, but there probably isn't much point. I never remember to track my exercise anyway, so not much to look at there!

Love the focus on reactive/proactive language. I tend to think of it as passive versus assertive. Are things simply happening to us, beyond our control (thus we are passive participants) or are we asserting our own control over what happens to us, through choices and discussion? Something to think about.

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CARLYG8 1/21/2012 8:53PM

    Love it!! Especially the part about who is going to stop you...the grocery clerk? Frito-Lay?...funny stuff. I was joking with hubby the other day that since our son got his braces put on our grocery bill has been slashed almost in half because he can't eat anything crunchy, sticky, hard, and chewy. I expect to be getting a letter from Kroger inquiring if everything is okay at our house. And Orville is probably working on his "please come back " letter as we speak (no popcorn allowed either!)

Oh...and the best part about your blog?? BAM! 3 pounds gone!! You go girl!!! ~hugs~

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RUTHXG 1/21/2012 8:14PM

    P.S. On making your trackers public: I've had mine, both food & exercise, public all along, but I don't think anyone ever looks at them! Even when I was tracking food very consistently, I never got any comments about it. I just don't think Sparkers have that much time. So for me it's a nonissue.

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RUTHXG 1/21/2012 5:17PM

    Oh yay, congrats on losing weight! Little by little is the BEST way.

And now I get to read some example of reactive & proactive language! I totally see how it will make a real difference to assert what you can & will do, rather than slouching verbally into "we'll see what happens." You can't control everything, but you certainly CAN control what food you eat.

It's super-sweet that your husband is thanking you for choosing healthy foods & giving him other fitness nudges!

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GRACEFULJOURNEY 1/21/2012 4:39PM

    Well written. I think about the "law of attraction".... you get back what you give out. Always state the positive. if you state that you don't want a negative, you get the negative even though you stated that you didn't want it. you got it since that was the image/thought that was sent out into the universe.....

Great job on the weight loss! emoticon

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A Good Memory...or Maybe Just One at a Time?

Friday, January 20, 2012

In my attempt to follow the Seven Habits and help them become, you know, HABITS, I had three activities to do with the first habit: Be Proactive.

1. Pay attention to my language and that of those around me to listen for reactive phrases vs. proactive ones.

2. Select a problem and determine the first step I can take to solve it within my "Circle of Influence." Take that step.

3. Try a thirty-day test of proactivity.

And I gotta tell you, I'm not doing so hot. It's really hard to remember to be aware of all this! Especially 1 & 3. I could probably knock out 2 relatively simply and quickly if I didn't always forget what it was.

Anyway, tomorrow and Monday, I'm going to focus on the language. One day at work, one day at home. Sunday, I will do number 2 from start to finish (assuming the step can be taken on a Sunday...if it's work-related, I might have to wait until Tuesday). And I'll start the 30-day test on Tuesday or Wednesday. I will keep notes in my planner or here in the blog to keep myself accountable and aware.

Seems like a decent plan.

Thanks for all the blogging, 5% Challengers, and 'specially my Starfishies! This is always a fun LTGL challenge!

Sending lots of wet, salty Starfish kisses everyone's way!

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EYES_ON_THEPRAZ 1/23/2012 2:20PM

    emoticon actually the "wet, salty" thing creeped me out a bit, but back atcha!

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RUTHXG 1/21/2012 11:11AM

    I'll be interested to read how this works out concretely--it's kinda abstract right now, & we poets don't do well with abstractions. emoticon Maybe down the road you could blog some specific reactive vs. proactive language you have found yourself using--? Language has such power!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MISSLISA1973 1/21/2012 10:32AM

    You're doing great! The more you blog about it, talk about it, read about it, or think about it, the easier it will become.

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GETSTRONGRRR 1/21/2012 10:27AM

    Good job....change comes slowly, but with consistency, you'll get where you want to be

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TEXASTITCHER 1/21/2012 12:07AM

    Glad to be a starfish

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ACCEPTHECHLNGE 1/20/2012 11:50PM

    Good Luck. Can't wait to read your progress report.
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LINDABENEDICT 1/20/2012 11:41PM

    emoticon emoticonBACK AT YA !

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Got My Bike!

Thursday, January 19, 2012

It came yesterday (AS PROMISED!--thanks Overstock!), and my husband and I put it together. I haven't used it yet, for a couple reasons:

1) My housemate is gone...that means strength training!

2) I'm writing this blog instead.

My housemate has been here A LOT the last week and a half or so, which has made it hard to exercise. I tell myself I have to strength train when she's not here. Finally, she is out of town, so I have new rules. I strength train until I tire of it when she's not here, then I hop on the bike. I hope to get more minutes this week. Thanks for putting up with me, Starfishies!

On another note, we're heading to DC this week! Stop by and see me! Love y'all!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUDYD207 1/24/2012 8:44PM

    Hi,
I really like my bike and cycle at home everyday if possible, for 30 minutes. Have now got it up to 12 - 14 km for 30 minutes. But when I first started I could only do about 5- 6 km cycling for 30 minutes.
When you start cycling make sure the tension is low at first and gradually increase the tension over the weeks. You will really find you will like it. - Judy

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DONNACFIT 1/20/2012 9:41PM

    Glad you got your bike!!..I love mine..It's a recumbent with lots of bells and whistles emoticon

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KAYTIE22 1/20/2012 8:36PM

    WooHoo! Enjoy your bike. It will be fun and great exercise.

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ANNIEONLI 1/20/2012 7:38PM

    emoticon
YAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!

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MISSLISA1973 1/20/2012 5:58PM

    emoticon

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SEATTLESIMS 1/20/2012 2:52PM

    sounds like you have a great plan! enjoy the new bike!

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SHRINKINGLULU 1/20/2012 1:25PM

    emoticon

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EYES_ON_THEPRAZ 1/20/2012 12:04PM

    Are you embarrassed to ST when she's around? Or does it just get in her way?
Congrats on the bike!

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JOSIEISHEALTHY 1/20/2012 11:00AM

    WOOHOO that is awesome and way to go! You are doing great!

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RAINBOWCHOC 1/20/2012 10:44AM

    the team should be with you as it's a short distance!

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TEXASTITCHER 1/19/2012 11:58PM

    Glad you enjoy your bike

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GETSTRONGRRR 1/19/2012 11:08PM

    Congrats & enjoy.....and don't forget to post photos!

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ACCEPTHECHLNGE 1/19/2012 10:59PM

    Yippee!!! You must be one happy Starfish! Now, make sure you use it. I had one many, many years ago and, eventually, it became a cloth rack. emoticon

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RUTHXG 1/19/2012 10:40PM

    Yay, the bike is finally here! And sounds like a good plan for strength training. (Though couldn't you do some ST with a resistance band while watching TV with your housemate--or something like that?)

What will you be up to in DC?

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PINKNFITCARLA 1/19/2012 10:31PM

    emoticon

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LINDABENEDICT 1/19/2012 10:24PM

    emoticon Have fun with your new bike !

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