Saturday, November 12, 2011
So I've been saying I wanted to reward actions, not results. I've been saying that I will be proud of my accomplishments and my discipline with my FastBreak goals. I've been saying that the scale doesn't matter to me.
Um, I lied.
My weight shot up since starting my new plan. Like, a lot. Like, an embarrassing a lot.
I have been so focused on the other things, I haven't been tracking my food as religiously as I should have. That must be why, right? I've been going to BodyPump. That must be why, right? I've been eating salty foods. That must be why, right?
I am totally buggin' about this! Not focusing on the scale SUCKS when you're so focused on the scale!
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Yesterday, I was reflecting on the fact that I would not be going to my two hours of classes on Wednesdays but for Mary Ann. I really enjoy them, and I'm still going, even though my "deadline" has passed. Now Mary Ann doesn't make me go. I go because I WANT to, because they are SUPER-FUN. Anyway, I decided I owe Mary Ann some token of my gratitude, and this is how my inner monologue went:
"I owe Mary Ann a token of my gratitude (yes, I do talk to myself like this). Hmm, let's see, how can I thank her? A jump rope? A fruit salad? Wait...those are SparkGoodies."
I totally wanted to give my IRL friend a SparkGoodie. I guess SparkPeople has rewired my brain. =)
Side note: Some of the SparkGoodies may not be a half-bad idea IRL...pedicure? Massage? Yes, please!
Tuesday, November 01, 2011
Yesterday's Knees Challenge was to make a To-Do list for things to be done by Friday. I did it, but figured instead of shoving the scrap paper in my purse to be lost until Christmas when I'm pulling out receipts, I should post it here for myself and the SparkWorld to see.
1. Scrub the kitchen floor.
2. Return my library book and get a new book-on-tape.
3. Job-related one I don't want to post in public
4. Work on my filing.
5. Go to my two classes.
I'm still working on my FastBreak of eating a healthy breakfast. I'm doing well on it. I've also decided on rewards on Saturdays for doing all the things I'm supposed to do for the week. They are:
1. FastBreak goal(s)
2. Not smoking
4. Only drinking a diet soda after (x+1) cups of water. This week, x is 5.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
I was planning to switch my SparkDiet stage to one. But then I decided I didn't need to relearn how to use SparkPeople, so I didn't.
But, yes. I'm back to FastBreak goals. I'm going to do one at a time. This week, and I know, Starfish, I should have figured this out last week, is eat a healthy breakfast. Emphasis on healthy, though. I do eat breakfast everyday, but sometimes it's 7-Eleven taquitos or salt and vinegar chips.
Those are actually out now, because I was so inspired by LOVEBYRD's idea of not eating food from "out" for a month, that I'm doing it now with my husband. We started on Monday, and my plan is to get through all of November and maybe see how far into December we can go. I suppose I could buy salt and vinegar chips at the grocery store, and it wouldn't count, but that's just asking for trouble.
Meanwhile, I'm increasing the amount of water I need to drink in order to allow myself a diet soda. In the past, it's been one diet soda for every quart or water. I've moved up to 5 cups. I'll move up to 6 with my next FastBreak goal. And I'll let SparkPeople's seemingly random setup of FastBreak goals determine my route. I can't really go wrong no matter which ones I choose in any given week.
Tonight is BodyPump and BodyCombat. 2 hours. I hope I do okay. I slacked the last couple weeks.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
My 10-year high school reunion was this past weekend. I’m pretty sure that I lost no weight from the moment I decided to make it my “deadline,” as it were, to the time of the reunion. I was quite disappointed in myself, truthfully, I mean, I had something like five months, maybe even more, and I couldn’t control my eating, exercising and smoking enough to pull off even a lousy five pounds? Com’on!
It didn’t help that when I got there, everyone still looked fabulous. I noticed two people who had also gained weight from high school, and one had had a baby, so duh. I left the tailgate party not acutely, but noticeably aware that, compared to these lovelies, I was a slob completely incapable of controlling myself to lose even an iota of weight in anticipation of an event months in the future.
At the actual reunion party, there was more mingling and there were more still gorgeous girls, including girls I hoped never to see again. I mean, really? At least THOSE girls could have gotten fat, right? Not a chance.
It was only after the reunion and when I had come home that I remembered a conversation I was part of/overheard at the party and came to a realization. The girl was saying, “…then I lost 40 pounds and gained 15 back.” To my recollection, she had exactly the same figure in high school, but I’m presuming the part I hadn’t heard involved an amount of weight she had originally gained since high school.
And then, it came to me.
My perception is all kinds of skewed! Plus, I haven’t seen these people in 10 years. I haven’t thought of most of them in the same amount of time! And I think that I can remember what they actually looked like in high school? Really? I can tell that they gained exactly zero pounds and still look as tight and taut and adolescent as they did back then? Not a chance. And looking at them through 29-year-old eyes makes me realize that sure, they look fabulous…but for 28 or 29, not 16.
And if I can’t tell, neither can they. They probably see me through 28-year-old eyes, too. Sure, I think it’s crazy-obvious that I am…well, there’s a picture from the tailgate party that I’m not ready to share…but maybe they didn’t notice that I am…well.
And even if they did, it comes back to a quote I heard from Dr. Phil: “You wouldn’t care what other people think of you if you knew how rarely they did.”
Thus, if they remember then, they don’t notice now.
Well, that’s a relief!
I don’t want y’all to think that I had a lousy time at my reunion or walked around feeling sorry for myself or sat in a sauna for the 24 hours immediately prior. I had a good time. It wasn’t an amazing time, but it was cool. I’ll go again in 10 years.
The other thing I’m noticing is a sense of post-apocalypse. This was kind of as far into the future as I had considered with regard to weight loss and the like. I mean, I take for granted of course that I will continue to Starfish, and that I’d like to lose my 5% in a 5% Challenge someday, and I’ll still have all my same SparkFriends and keep track of my SparkAmerica minutes. I mean, I didn’t think about any goals beyond this. And I realize I probably should make them. Even though I’m batting a zero when it comes to meeting goals.
I "just" need to figure that out. Goals that don't make me feel guilty. Goals that get results. Goals that maybe don't focus on pounds so much as other numbers or actions.
Then there's the issue of plans. What do I plan? I still want to go to my BodyPump and BodyCombat classes. But that's all I got.
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