Tuesday, September 20, 2011
My high school reunion is in five weeks. And I'm really kind of making a big deal about it, which is weird, because I didn't make a big deal of high school when I was there. It was like the time I was spending preparing for college. I did a lot of activities, clubs, AP and TAG classes, but I wasn't popular and that was okay with me. So I don't really see why I'm making such a big fuss over one weekend, but I am, so I've got to accept that.
Anyway, my friend Mary Ann told me today, "You have 5 weeks! You can do this!" She told me to go to BodyPump classes at least twice a week. She also mentioned hair, but that's a little nerve-wracking. Then she came over to my desk and demanded to look at my gym schedule, so I showed her, and she found classes she wants me to take. She says she is not accepting excuses, which is fine with me but for one thing.
Half an hour before this conversation occurred, I made plans to meet with a friend I haven't seen in months tomorrow. And tomorrow, Mary Ann has scheduled me for two hours of classes, for which she isn't accepting excuses.
I emailed the friend and asked to switch to Thursday, but she didn't get back to me. She's probably annoyed. I mean, she and I emailed no fewer than three times each in the span of 45 minutes, and now she's not responding?
So what do I do? I read somewhere you're only allowed to cancel plans that you've already made if the new plans are less fun. Like, you can cancel going to a wedding if you have to go to a funeral, but not vice-versa. I think this qualifies.
Still, am I being a jerk? And if my friend doesn't get back to me, should I show up at the place or the gym? My husband says go to the gym, it's for you (and anyway, it's not my fault that we haven't talked in months...she disappears then reappears for one meal then disappears again for more months since her last disappearance. Of course, that said, I'm probably not going to hear from her for another year). I guess I show up at the place, and an hour later, say, "I gotta go." But I did want to get a haircut before the classes. That probably doesn't qualify. Well, it does, actually. Hanging out with friends is way more fun than getting a haircut, but it doesn't have the same urgency, unless you've made an appointment with someone important. But I don't do that. I just go to Hair Cuttery and say, "Cut it as short as you can without making my face look fat."
But other than that, I'm pretty excited and flattered that someone is taking this much of an interest in me getting hotter. And, I wonder what else my Mary Ann Makeover Challenge could entail. Mary Ann is a whiz at makeup and fashion. She might turn me into a hot chick like her. That would be cool.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
You know that feeling when you KNOW you've forgotten something, but you have no idea what? Like in "Home Alone"?
I've had that feeling for, like, a WEEK. And I've been wanting to blog about it for kind of awhile, but I didn't know what to say.
It's not a fun one. It's on par with how I felt when my Karl-Marx-Universitaet mug broke.
I could go on. But I won't. It's more than enough, and I can't really touch on all of them as it is.
Now, I'm not walking around mopey or bothering my co-workers with endless blather about how (insecure, scared, jittery, etc.) I feel, and I probably don't look any different than usual, but these feelings are always back there, and have been for awhile. Maybe even longer than a week.
I don't know how to fix it. My very first instinct was to make lists. That was when I made my list "Lists to Make." But I couldn't get the energy to sit down and think about any of the lists. I haven't made any of them.
And here's one thing. One of my lists was supposed to be about my values and my priorities, and how my life reflects those. I'm not sure which is more telling: that I want to make such a list or that I've been unable to do so.
Part of me wants to just sit down Indian-style on the floor and yell at all of my wisest SparkFriends, "Fix it, fix it, fix it!!!" Another part wants to take those moods I just listed (Hey! I did get a list done!) and tackle each of them in a separate blog. But I don't know if I'd wind up getting to, I don't know, "jittery," and then only being able to manage, "I am jittery. It's not caffeine." Those blogs would not be fun to read or write. But all of me just wants this feeling of...
That's the feeling I have. If you put all the above feelings in a box, taped it shut, and put it in an attic, you'd label the box "Unsettled."
Ah, blogging helps!
But I digress.
I want the feeling of being unsettled to go away. Any suggestions on how to make it so? (This is a more mature way of yelling, "Fix it, fix it, fix it!!!")
Friday, September 09, 2011
The man who fails to plan really plans to fail. I don't know who said the original version of this, but that one came from the great philosopher/rapper Chali 2Na.
It takes awhile for that to sink in. And even when it does, sometimes my mind spits it out again as I say, "Eff this," and stick my head in a bag of salt and vinegar chips.
But really, I do best when I plan. When I was planning my dinners after my lunches, I managed to stay not only in my calorie range, but on the LOW END of the calorie range for 12 days straight. I also have a tendency to say "Eff this" when I mess up once. Oh, I try to get back on the wagon immediately, but then it's like, for two days, then it's for no days...for a month or something.
So I gotta plan. And I will. I have the tools. I just gotta use them. SIMPLELIFE4REAL (aka My HERO) has posted a link on her blog to her ingenious 8-week meal plan that never recycles a dinner. It would make a good template OR even a whole meal plan for me. ELLEYKAT kept it simple, just by logging first, then eating. Very smart.
Hmm, what other plans can I make?
And I welcome anyone to point me back to this blog when I post another one about salt and vinegar chips, stuffed crust pizza and multiple bowls of Frosted Mini Wheats. I can certainly have those...if I plan for them.
Thursday, September 08, 2011
I wavered with the gym. The rain here is awful. It was hard to see even with the windshield wipers on at their fastest. Driving was a little scary, but I made it okay to the gym parking lot. I circled for a spot, like I normally do. As I started a new loop down a new aisle, it started to pour EVEN HARDER. Then I sneezed five times. Then I left.
I feel kind of lame about that, but I really couldn't imagine. And I lived in New Orleans for four years, without an umbrella, so it's not like I'm a rain wimp.
So, here I am at home, wrapped in warmth with a cuppa. Which is fine, but I can't figure something out.
How do I get the right mindset to stay in my calorie range?
I do really well for awhile, then I stop doing well, and then I become an eating machine. I often have struggled to find an eating plan that works for me, keeps me full enough, and is in SP's calorie range for me. And I'm still not there.
Right now, my problem is salt and vinegar chips. I eat those like it's my job. That has to stop. Cold turkey. Also, the last couple days, Sour Skittles. I eat those when I have allergies, because they scratch the roof of my mouth and my throat when they're itchy.
Maybe if I quit both of those, that's enough for the calorie range to work itself out.
Thursday, September 08, 2011
I have a head cold. I have a pressure headache, my nose is stuffy, I'm sneezing. My throat hurts a little. I coughed once.
I think I read somewhere that you can exercise with a head cold, just that you shouldn't with a chest cold. So I'm still planning to go to the gym after work today.
I started to waver a little bit when one of my colleagues sprayed me with Lysol and told me that I should go to the gym so I can infect everyone there, and maybe take the Metro there to expose as many people as possible. He made me sound like I was trying to engage in biowarfare. It made me feel a little bad.
So is it socially irresponsible of me to go to the gym? Should I go home and do weights instead? I may have to anyway, if my headache gets worse, but if it doesn't, am I a bad person if I go out and possibly spread my germs?
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