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BEAR_GURL's Recent Blog Entries

I'M LOST.....

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Wow...I can't believe how long it's been since I last blogged! My surgery on Feb 18th went great; minimal scarring and believe it or not, the VA hospital was wonderful to me and my family: ) I was looking forward to starting an exercise routine and I was relieved to have that worry removed from my life.

During my post-op appointment, I received the shock of my life: I was pregnant. My husband and I wanted to add a third child to our family...we just weren't expecting one this soon! A million thoughts crossed my mind that day and my husband & I were very concerned for the health of our unborn child. Had I been pregnant when I had surgery? If so, how would the various medications affect the baby?

From the beginning, something just didn't feel right about this pregnancy; of course, I was extremely ill (morning sickness? Ha...try 24/7!) and fatigued, but abdominal cramps weren't the norm for me. My first appointment with a high risk OB/GYN confirmed our greatest fear: the pregnancy wasn't viable and a D&C was performed the same day.

It's been a week and a half since the procedure; I can't begin to explain the variety of emotions I continue to experience. I believe in God and know everything happens for a reason--but I've yet to wrap my mind around it yet. My husband and I have decided against trying for another child & I've scheduled an appointment with a counselor. I don't know where to go from here?!





  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MARIADALE 4/30/2010 10:33AM

    Losing a child is very difficult, my heart goes out to you in your loss. I will pray for your continued recover physically and emotionally.

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SLIMMERKIWI 4/25/2010 6:32AM

    I am very sorry for your loss. Three main things are going on with you at the moment:

1. Grief - even tho' your baby wasn't born, and was only teeny, it was YOUR baby non-the-less. Give yourself time and permission to grieve.

2. Hormonal - this too can and does have a huge impact on us, and that combined with grief can make it seem harder to deal with.

3. You are getting over TWO procedures! I had a breast lump removed, and I was considerably affected by the anesthesia for a couple months - even tho' it was supposed to be out of my system within a couple or three days. My mood was low, I was very tired, I was happy/sad/bitchy etc. You are getting over TWO separate procedures.......!

Take care, and be kind to yourself. A few sessions with a counsellor is a very good call, and it may even be appropriate for hubby to think about it too - after all, he is affected to!

Take care,
Kris xx



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BIGLITTLEWOMAN 4/24/2010 8:06PM

    You are already going in the right direction by believing in your Lord and by seeking counseling. Your hubby may need to be a part of this process with you but he may need to believe he is doing it in support of you. "wink"

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LILYBETHSMOM 4/24/2010 5:58PM

    I'm so very sorry to hear about your loss. All I can say is that you're doing the right thing by going to a counselor. You and your family will be in my prayers and I know that God will give you the strength to come through this. I'm so glad your surgery went well and I hope to see you & all your successes in the future.

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CHANGE_4_ME 4/24/2010 4:39PM

    Sorry to hear you've gone through so much. Sometimes we have trials in our life so we can better assist someone later in life. Seems like you're on the right track to recovery mental and physical. Emotionally sometimes is the last stage of recovery. Hugs and prayers to you!

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MBSKIT 4/24/2010 3:16PM

    WOW! Sorry to hear about your loss. It's hard I've gone through that twice and we dicided to not try again after the 2nd D&C.
I would say take sometime to heal and know that it will be okay.

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BACK IN THE SADDLE--AGAIN AND SURGERY

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Wow...I hadn't realized just how much time had passed since I last logged on or posted a blog...until now. I originally joined SparkPeople in November 2008 and instantly felt accepted; I received a tremendous amount of support and began gaining confidence.

Less than a year later, I felt as if I were contributing more than I was receiving; where was the heartfelt acceptance and support? It may sound selfish, but I was tired, stressed and disappointed...disappointed in myself and those who claimed to support me. I didn't make a conscience decision to leave the site, I just slowly let it (and my hard work) to slip away.

But guess what? I'm BACK and as soon as I'm able, I'll be back on track...I just have to get past Thursday!

After numerous doctor appointments and tests, Thursday (Feb 18th) is surgery day! Call me crazy, but I'm BEYOND ready to put this procedure behind me and get on with my life; I'm not looking forward to the recovery time, but...it'll be taking a huge weight off my shoulders. Although the tumor (in my left breast) is benign (thank God!), it's size has increased and become uncomfortable.

I'll be sure to post an update and look forward to getting back to ME! Wish me luck: )

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GREGSTEAM 2/17/2010 7:32AM

    Good luck. Get well soon! Your teamates need you.

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KAT7457 2/17/2010 12:08AM

    Good Luck on your surgery. I will say a prayer for a speedy recovery. take care .

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KARBIE18 2/16/2010 7:22AM

    I am so sorry you didn't feel you were given the support you needed. I'm glad to see you back, though, and so grateful that your tumor is benign. Positive thoughts and prayers are going out to you anyway, as I know any kind of surgery is unnerving.

Karen

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HICALGAL 2/16/2010 3:03AM

    girlfriend, sorry to hear you didn't get the support you needed and i hear you on contributing more than you received. i'll do my best to be supportive. my schedule is very hectic so please feel free to stop by my page and let me know how you're doing.

will keep you in my prayers for a successful surgery and quick recovery. wishing you all the best...welcome back!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 2/16/2010 3:04:44 AM

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RADCON105 2/16/2010 2:55AM

    emoticon

Comment edited on: 2/16/2010 2:56:03 AM

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UPDATES: PHYSICAL & MEDICAL

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Wow...I hadn't realized until now how long it's been since my last blog! Lately, I've allowed food to regain control my life-I've gained 10 pounds! UGH emoticon I don't know why I'm surprised...I always seem to self sabotage once I start making progress. I'm SO tired of feeling like a yo-yo!!! Any ideas?

I finally had a mammogram AND an ultrasound on September 9th; the lump in my left breast was very visible and I'm schedule for a core needle biopsy on October 12th. The doctor is believes it is benign, but a needle biopsy must be performed before it can be removed. Although I'm not thrilled at the idea of having a needle inserted into my breast (who would?), I'll be glad once the lump has been removed.

On a happier note, my husband and I will be celebrating our anniversary tomorrow! emoticon We've also decided to expand our family of four (after I've recovered) emoticon I know it will take a while (I've been using depovera), but I'm BEYOND excited!!! I think my husband would like a boy, but I'd be perfectly happy with another girl: )

I'll be sure to blog more often and to keep my SP pals updated...God bless and I hope you're all having a wonderful weekend!!!


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Melissa

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CBSPECIAL 11/25/2009 7:45AM

    Hope all went well!

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COLEMANSR 9/20/2009 8:56PM

    emoticonHappy Anniversary! emoticon

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CRITTERMAMA912 9/20/2009 5:32PM

  Praying for good reports and wisdom for the drs. for you. Happy Anniversary! Wonderful news on adding to your family. Children are such a blessing, glad you are happy.
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PEPPERLEAH 9/20/2009 3:48PM

    I'll be praying for you concerning the needle biopsy. And Happy Anniversary!

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GREGSTEAM 9/20/2009 8:21AM

    Hope biopsy goes well & happy anniversary.

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MAGA99 9/20/2009 7:35AM

    HAPPY ANNIVERSARY

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MINDYJ1 9/20/2009 4:55AM

    Praying that biopsy goes well and Happy Anniversary! emoticonMindy

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HICALGAL 9/20/2009 12:43AM

    my prayers go out that the needle biopsy shows it's benign...and a big congratulations on your wedding anniversary!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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GOTTA BRAG...MY PROGRESS THUS FAR : )

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Today's Weight: 179 lbs (11 lbs Loss)

Today's Measurements (Inches Lost Since 01/20/09):

Neck--13.5 inches (loss of 0.5 inches)
Upper Arm--12 inches (loss of 2 inches)
Forearm--9.5 inches (loss of 1.5 inches)
Thigh--23.5 inches (loss of 4 inches)
Calf--15 inches (loss of 1.5 inches)
Rib Cage--33.5 inches (loss of 2 inches)
Hips--43 inches (loss of 3 inches)
Waist--38 inches (loss of 2 inches)

Just had to brag a bit about my progress...things have really taken off since my hubby got on board! Much easier to lose weight and stay on track when the lifestyle change is for the entire family : )

Best wishes to all throughout your journey and to my Spark pals...know that you are always in my thoughts!


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Melissa

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MUSLIMAH05 8/11/2009 12:30PM

    emoticon

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AWOOD1973 7/7/2009 1:04PM

    Wow! You are doing soooo well! Keep up the awesome work! Here is 2 quotes from the book that I just read by Bob Greene (Oprah's trainer) 'Get with the Program', that was really inspiring to me! Maybe you will embrace it like I did... Here goes:

"Be patient. If you can find or create things to be happy about today, you'll be more likely to take care of yourself tomorrow." ~Greene~

"Caring about yourself and doing good things for yourself is not only your right, but your responsibility." ~Greene~

Take care and keep inspiring everyone around you!! YOU ARE WORTH IT! emoticon

Amy

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SONYARODRI29 7/3/2009 12:13AM

    Congratulations on your progress! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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HEALTHY-GG 6/30/2009 9:18AM

    I am so very happy that you are doing so well! It really does go easier when the family is behind you!

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OREAD_1 6/30/2009 2:27AM

    thank you and the same to you. Pass that on to you hubby buddy. It is so wonderful the two of you are showing such great teamwork.

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COLEMANSR 6/29/2009 8:16PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KAT7457 6/28/2009 11:16PM

    emoticon emoticon

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KENNESAWGIRL733 6/28/2009 8:30PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

I like to use the measuring tape too. I like seeing where I'm losing it.

Comment edited on: 6/28/2009 8:31:10 PM

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IMADAREDEVIL 6/28/2009 1:43PM

    Hugs to you for doing so wonderfully well. You deserve to brag, and we're right there cheering you on!

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CBSPECIAL 6/28/2009 10:55AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
You deserve to brag!

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CPCJONES01 6/28/2009 9:25AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SLIMMERKIWI 6/28/2009 5:41AM

    It's well worth a brag, too! :-)

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HICALGAL 6/28/2009 5:23AM

    emoticon on your weightloss an inches down. keep it up!! emoticon


spark emoticon

debbie

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NAOMIGREEN 6/28/2009 3:46AM

  That's excellent! Well done on the 11lbs, you're on a roll now! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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WHAT A WEEK!

Monday, June 22, 2009

Okay...Thursday was a very frustrating day for me! As previously mentioned, my youngest daughter has been ill (read previous blog) and that morning, she looked extremely pale & lethargic; I called her pediatrician and was scheduled to bring her in for a follow-up that afternoon. As soon as I hang up the phone, my husband calls me--my niece was taken to the ER due to a temperature of 104.9! As if the high temp wasn't enough for concern, my niece (age 2.5 yrs) only has one kidney!! The ER sent her home after with the diagnosis of a double ear infection (with a virus) after her temp lowered (with a peds follow-up later that day...we use the same peds doctor).

My hubby makes it home in time (he works nights) to keep the girls while I rush out the door--my dreaded mammogram appointment has arrived! Since my medical care is provided by the VA (due to being medically retired from the Army), my appointment is scheduled at a low-cost clinic; a mobile mammogram company travels to this clinic every few months. As I begin going over my paperwork with a representative, the woman informs me they are unable to perform my exam--I must make an appointment with the main mammogram office (quite a drive from here)!

I'm beyond "heated" by this point...why can't they examine me? The lady informs me because of my age (I'm under 35) and the lump in my breast (the mobile only does diagnostic exams), the mobile company can not examine me; if a woman is under the age of 35, her breast tissue is too dense and must be examined by a special machine. She then contacts the main office and the soonest available appointment is July 29th--can you believe it?!

I rush home to check on my daughter, muttering to myself the entire way....upon returning home, my husband informs me the ER misdiagnosed my niece; she doesn't have an ear infection, but has hand, foot & mouth virus! Am I the only one that finds this information disturbing?! So I grab some lunch and head back to the pediatrician office to find my daughter has TWO different viruses--combined they can keep her ill for up to a week & a half! Prescription: extra TLC with motrin!!!

And now I have a sore throat: (



  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KENNESAWGIRL733 6/22/2009 3:32PM

    hey - I've got some cheap plates if you want to throw 'em at the wall...
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FLMOMX2 6/22/2009 3:07PM

    Praying for a double dose of strength in these trying times for you. Viruses are the worst as there is no medicine to help get better sooner. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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COLEMANSR 6/22/2009 10:08AM

    So sorry, you're going through tough times. Will keep you in my prayers.

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PEPPERLEAH 6/22/2009 8:16AM

    Wow, what a dificult time you are going through. I will be praying for you and your family. I know the stress of not being able to get the test(s) done that you need to have. It makes no sense to me that when a person is experiencing medical issues, it is often next to impossible to get the medical help they need. I hope things get better for you all really soon.

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Leah

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CBSPECIAL 6/22/2009 8:04AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KNITTINGFROG 6/22/2009 3:36AM

    emoticon Hope everythign gets better soon!

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