Monday, May 13, 2013
My stats as of May 09, 2013
Weight: 227.6 lbs
Neck: 16 inches
Rib Cage: 37 inches
Upper Arm: 16 inches
Thigh: 30 inches
Calf: 16 inches
Forearm: 11.5 inches
Hips: 50 inches
Waist: 42.5 inches
Hip to Waist Ratio: 0.84
Goal Weight: 130 lbs
Total Expected Weight Loss: 97 lbs
Wow, what a busy year; I can't believe the kids are almost out of school or the weather has yet to pick a season! The girls are doing awesome (everyone is finally well!) and keeping me busy; I'm still in counseling; doing some volunteer work; love to coupon and hope to purchase a house (before the end of the year).
My weight has continued to escalate as I've added to my list of ailments, but I'm trying Weight Watchers and slowly increasing my activities. Keep your fingers crossed!!!
Sunday, January 15, 2012
In Loving Memory of My Brother on His Birthday,
Don't sit in silence & weep for me,
I've moved on, my spirit is free.
I'm in every flower & bird in site,
I'm in the stars and wind and moon at night.
I'm the morning sun that greets the day,
I'm each burst of laughter when you're at play.
I'm in your happiest loving memories...
So do not cry, my spirit is free.
James D. (Jimmy) Kinnen
January 15, 1980-August 7, 2001
Dear Brother in Heaven,
I sit here and ponder how very much I'd like to talk with you today, there are so many things we didn't get to say.
I know how much you care for me and how much I care for you, and each time I think of you, I know you'll miss me too.
An angel came and took you by the hand, and said
Your place was ready in Heaven, far above...it was time to leave behind all those you dearly loved.
You had so much to live for, you had so much to do...it still seems impossible that God has taken you.
And though your life on earth is past, in Heaven it starts anew. You'll live for all eternity, just as God has promised you. Though you've walked through Heaven's gate, we are never apart, for every time I think of you, You're right here...deep within my heart.
Love Always & Forever...Your Big Sis,
Monday, May 23, 2011
It's been a while since my last blog and I'd like to think the girls & I are doing well; although I still have my BLAH days, I think I've finally started to heal. I attend counseling biweekly, blocked my soon-to-be ex (and his fiancť) from Facebook, have begun doing things with friends (again) and taken charge of my health. Finances continue to be a struggle (still no child support), but I've paid a few things off and continue to pray for the best.
The girls are almost finished for the school year: Cheyenne will be in the 7th grade and Madilyn will enter kindergarten in mid-August. I look forward to spending quality time with them (they're growing so fast!) and hopefully, we can take a mini-vacation: ) I'd love to visit my sisters in Ohio (I haven't been there since 2005), but air fare is so expensive and so is gasoline (not to mention the 20+ hours of driving involved)! Perhaps next year?
My divorce papers have been filed (waiting on a court date) and I attended my first child support hearing earlier this month; although my estranged husband has been served twice, the proper documentation wasn't returned to the state of Texas (hence it "didn't happen"). He didn't attend the hearing and has refused to comply with the OAG, BUT I did find out I'm eligible to receive inrears child support (once the order is established)!I'm prepared to hire a process server (to insure it be done properly) and pray court dates for both will be set asap.
I've had numerous health concerns and doctor drama within the last few months: between medication issues and dealing with several different doctors, my patience is at a minimum. Since December, I've been under the care of a dietician, who prescribed several vitamins and a "metabolism booster." Shortly after beginning this new medication, my blood pressure and pulse rate soared; the doctor tweaked the meds several times (without any improvement) and exercise was forbidden.
An appointment was made with my primary care provider, BUT it's been rescheduled (by the clinic) SIX times! After much complaining, I was seen by a nurse & an EKG and blood work were ordered: the EKG results were normal, but my thyroid levels (I have HYPOthyroidism) were off the charts. It seems the prescribed "metabolism booster" contains medication commonly used to treat those with thyroid problems; this caused my thyroid to go into a HYPERthyroidism state. Needless to say, my body feels like it's been on one LONG roller coaster ride: (
I'd like to apologize for my lack of activity on SP and promise to improve; I truly appreciate the love and support of my SP family: I don't know what I'd do without you all! God bless: )
Tuesday, March 08, 2011
I don't know how to explain how I feel right now (so I apologize in advance if this blog doesn't make much sense); so many emotions going through my mind right now...I wish I were numb.
Most of my SP family is aware that my husband & I are separated (I've filed for divorce) and things are complicated (I've too little energy to re-tell the story; please refer to blogs dated October 2010-present). About two and a half weeks ago, he started calling the girls and even sent them a card each; we even "talked" and I was pleased (yet cautious) he was making an effort.
As of yesterday, we hadn't called heard from him in a few days, but I hadn't really given it much thought. It was early morning and I was wide awake (insomnia); I was messing around on Facebook, looking through "friends you might know"...my usual I'm bored routine. Needless to say, I was shocked and devastated by what I found:
My husband has fathered another child with the "girlfriend that didn't exist." They recently had a little girl and not only is she 10 years younger than either of us, she already has a two year old son.
Some may not understand why I care, so let me explain. My husband and I had decided to add to our family, but were very surprised when I found out I was pregnant early last year. My method of birth control had previously taken a year before we conceived our youngest daughter; I'd also just underwent surgery on my breast and been told my pregnancy test was negative. I was concerned and delighted all at once, while my husband remained quiet.
I automatically assumed he was concerned for my health, but didn't have much time to dwell on it; something just didn't feel "right" with the pregnancy and I was trying to find an OB/GYN. A day or two before my first baby appointment, my husband came clean: he just wasn't ready for another baby right now. As it was obvious I was having problems and had probably been pregnant when I had surgery, he wanted me to terminate the pregnancy. And when I went to my appointment, the doctor confirmed the pregnancy wasn't viable; a d&c was performed.
If I had carried the baby to term, the children would have been less than three months apart. I've had a difficult time dealing with the loss of this past year, but I'm in counseling and trying to heal. Being a single mother of two isn't easy and the transition has been hard on the girls. Until now, I thought I'd been doing a good job of creating a stable, loving home.
Now I'm a mess and can't seem to get hold of my emotions. I know I'll eventually be okay (I have an appointment with my counselor later today), but I'm so tired of being the "better" person. I want to rant and rave...to hurt him emotionally, the way he's hurt my girls and myself. But it's impossible to hurt someone incapable of feeling.
I know it's only a matter of time before he leaves this girlfriend (and child) in the same manner he left me; he's already complaining about being unhappy. Is it weird that I actually feel sorry for her? And even more for the children involved? It's obvious he needs to get emotional help.
So please say a prayer for me as I continue to struggle. Your love and support means more to me than you'll ever know.
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