Tuesday, November 22, 2011
So, I went to the gym after working 4-midnight tonight. I felt good about going, and started off with an hour on the elliptical. The longest I had done before that was 30 minutes. Then I went a did some strength training (I had an hour session of strength training earlier in the day), then I finished off with 30 minutes on a stationary bike, and some time in the massage chair :P
I hadn't checked my blood pressure since I started working out, so I figured I should do such. I have high blood pressure, which is one of the things I hope to improve with the weight loss. I found an iPod app to log my blood pressure, so that I could keep an eye on it. It also asked you to input your weight. I hate scales. That may be a sentiment you share. The idea of standing on a scale anywhere that wasn't my own bathroom is terrifying. The gym had 2 other people in it at this time though, so I thought it would be safe. I thought to myself, "At least you know you haven't gained any weight". I had my weight taken last week as part of an assessment at the gym. Well, turns out I have gained weight! I couldn't believe it. I haven't eaten fast food in 12 days, which is amazing for me because it was a staple in my diet before. I haven't eaten fried food, and have been eating healthier than I have in a long time. I'm eating breakfast every morning for the first time since I was young enough to have breakfast made for me, and have been to the gym at least once a day every day for the last 12, excluding two Sundays, one of which I worked out outside of the gym. I can not understand how I have gained 4 pounds.
At first I was really bummed. I felt like all the work I had been doing was pointless, and I really was going to be stuck being the "fat girl". Then my mind told me that I needed to try harder, a concept that is good on paper, but one that while running through my head at this time went to some unhealthy options. That's not what I want to do. The fact is, I feel better. I can't believe it has only been 12 days, because the changes I feel are incredible. I have more energy, I sleep much better than before, my stress has gone down an unbelievable amount, I feel stronger, more motivated, and just better about myself. Yes, it was a bit of a downer to see that number on the scale, but it isn't all about the numbers. I feel proud of myself for committing to going to the gym as often as I have been, eating breakfast, staying away from fast food, and steering my life in a healthy direction. Yes, I want to lose weight, but it isn't all about the numbers on the scale. It's about being healthy, and feeling good.
Also, if you're interested, my systolic blood pressure is still slightly high, but not nearly as much as it was! My doctor will be happy :)
Saturday, November 19, 2011
I made it to the gym tonight for a half hour workout, which is the least amount of time I have ever spent there. The gym closed at 7 though, and I made it there at 6:30-just enough time for a jog! I slept until 4pm, because I was on midnights last night, so I was beat when I got home this morning. I am on midnights again tonight, so while I was eating dinner I was thinking to myself, "Do I really have to go to the gym tonight? It won't hurt to miss it just once. I have been every other day this week..." I could have easily justified not going to the gym. It's all the way across town, and I'd only be there for half an hour. Not today though! I probably won't make it to the gym tomorrow, because I work until 8am, then I am back again at 4pm, so it doesn't leave a lot of workout time. I knew that I would regret not going if that's the decision I made.
This has always been my problem. I make excuses do something "Just this once", and I end up spiraling out of my diet, exercise and healthy choices. This isn't the first time in the last week or so that I have done this, and it makes me feel really good knowing that I am sticking to it, and putting myself first, in a healthy way. Plus, I really do enjoy going to the gym. It makes me feel great!
Tuesday, May 03, 2011
Okay, so not really. But that's what my Nutrition Tracker said, and I had a slight panic attack! I went out for brunch with a friend, but I didn't think it was THAT bad. Turns out, I put that I ate 25 cups of diced ham, instead of .25 cups. LOL. So, I took that out, and I fit nicely into my calorie target for the day!
Monday, May 02, 2011
So, here I am again, trying to lose weight. I have struggled for several years with my feelings of worthlessness. I now know that I have worth, and I should start to live like it. I am an emotional eater, but no more! I have put myself down, and not cared about myself, but no more! I have found my worth in God, and I know He doesn't want me treating myself this way. So, this is it. Healthy and happy. Here it goes.
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