Wednesday, May 30, 2012
You may have already read about Marina Keegan in the news, or read her essay "The Opposite of Loneliness" but if you have not I urge you to read it:
This young woman wrote the essay to her classmates who were graduating from Yale but as I read it I started crying because she spoke to me, too. We may not all be this young, but certainly the same is true for all of us at any point in our life.
"What we have to remember is that we can still do anything. We can change our minds. We can start over. Get a post-bac or try writing for the first time. The notion that itís too late to do anything is comical. Itís hilarious. Weíre graduating college. Weíre so young. We canít, we MUST not lose this sense of possibility because in the end, itís all we have."
Sadly, Marina died in a car accident this past weekend ~ rest in peace.
Saturday, May 26, 2012
I bought myself a notebook yesterday and I listed 5 positives for the day. It was a bit of a push, though, to come up with 5.
I don't have anything written down today. I haven't left the house all day. Well, I did make progress in my office and I paid some bills online, so I guess that is two positives for the day. Now to think of three more....
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
I have been participating in a challenge for the past 10 weeks. My weight loss goal was to lose 22.4 pounds. At my weight that was definitely reasonable. However, I am going to be lucky if my weight is the same tomorrow as it was 10 weeks ago. Once again, I used lifeís sorrows and disappointments as an excuse to stray from my plan.
My goals for the challenge were fairly reasonable:
- stay off sweets and baked goods
- plan my lunches
- make a basic plan weekly before shopping
- keep a positive mental attitude
As my results show, I pretty much did not accomplish any of these goals. I was doing OK for a while, but since my nephew had his accident, I let the addition of his 6-year-old brother to my household and list of responsibilities just through me over the edge. And I have not had class the whole time he was with me Ė that changes on Tuesday!
We also had an assignment to set some additional personal goals about half-way through the challenge. Again, mine should have been reasonable and achievable (especially since I did not have class):
- put away all the papers that have accumulated during tax season and my current class
- get caught up on reviews that I have to type up and get rid of that paper
- clean out the pantry and refrigerator/freezer
- set up a work out area in my office
Again, pretty much did not get any of these done. My class notes are put away but I have two boxes of papers that need to be filed, as well as a pile on my desk that has accumulated over the past two weeks. I have done just a couple of reviews and keep carrying that paper from home office to work office and back again. I had made a dent in the pantry but with the addition of Nelsonís snacks and school lunch supplies, I have a bigger mess than I had before. I also made one change in my office to accommodate a work out area, but it has been negated in the past two weeks.
So where do I go from here?
I developed a general outline doing our last assignment for the challenge:
1. Start positive self-talk.
2. Start a journal for positives (and carry it with me every day).
3. Start making time for exercise every day. If I am honest, I do feel better when I exercise.
4. Start eating in a way that makes me feel better mentally and physically.
5. Start speaking up for myself - don't let people walk all over me.
I will be taking a day off on Friday because Nelson has a 1/2 of school and I am off on Monday so that gives me a good 4-day block to get these things done. I need to be in a good place before I start my next graduate class on Tuesday - it promises to be intense.
Saturday, May 19, 2012
DH, DD and I took Nelson to see his brother today. Their sister, Reyann, also came in from Harrisburg to visit (she lives with her dad).
Merrill has made great progress this week. He is walking but his balance is off and he needs to have someone with him at all times. He is talking a lot, although sometimes he is having a different conversation than the rest of us. His longer term memory is fine - he remembers all his family and friends. He has trouble remembering events from day to day as well as the names of the various personnel at the rehab facility.
There is no prognosis yet. They told my niece that the team meets every Tuesday to discuss the patients and their ongoing treatment plans. However since Merrill will have just been there for a week this Tuesday they are not sure they will be ready to discuss his case yet. Someone told her 3 to 6 weeks at the facility and then more rehab on an outpatient basis, but that was just their opinion based on what they have seen with other patients.
My only real concern is Nelson. I found out on Friday that he has a 1/2 day of school next Friday, which means I will be working at home that day to pick him up early. I wound up getting in touch with his teacher, because I realized there may be other 'end of the year' things going on that I was not aware of. I am afraid he will miss out on a few things that occur outside of the school day but I am going to make every effort to be there for his Memorial Day "play" this coming Friday and his "graduation" from the Y program next Friday.
Nelson's last day of school is Thursday June 7th and my niece has not made any plans for summer camp, etc. We discussed it tonight and I told her to see if there is still space in the Y's summer camp program at his school. It will run from 7 AM until 6 PM so I would be able to continue to keep him at my house in the event that Merrill is still in rehab. I hope they have room.
Reyann, Nelson and Merrill
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