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Home Again

Sunday, July 27, 2014

Thanks to all of you who responded to my last blog. It helped knowing you were all rooting for me.

The visit went better than I expected but it was not without its moments. The drive home was exhausting. We left later than planned, hit a torrential rainstorm, and then massive construction delays. I am beyond tired and so will post more tomorrow.

Thanks for being there!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WOUBBIE 7/28/2014 9:47AM

    Welcome home! Hope you got a good night's rest. (((hugs)))

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ICECUB 7/28/2014 7:35AM

    GLAD YOU ARE HOMESAFE AND SOUND. GET SOME REST.

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REALTYLADYLISA 7/28/2014 12:38AM

    Glad you are home safe...driving in bad weather is exhausting...get some rest!
Blessings!

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DETERMINEDJANET 7/27/2014 11:58PM

    That would make the drive much longer. Glad you're home safely and that the trip went well.

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DAWNWATERWOMAN 7/27/2014 10:54PM

    An answer to prayers. You are home safely. Love you.

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CINDYSDAY 7/27/2014 10:39PM

    I am glad you are safe.

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BARBARAROSE54 7/27/2014 10:24PM

    emoticon

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The Trip

Friday, July 25, 2014

I am making the trip to my sister's. We are leaving around noon and it's a 5 hour drive without stops.

To say I am anxious would be an understatement. My DH convinced me that I would most likely regret not going more than I may regret going. I am not sure if he is right but I am willing to find out. I have not written any letters yet. I can't seem to manage cohesive thoughts right now. I guess if things don't go well, I will just mail them later.

Below is a picture from my son's wedding 5 years ago. On the left is my brother Chris, who I have not seen since this was taken. He will be there for a few hours on Saturday. Next is my sister Kathy and her daughter Katt, both of whom I saw for about an hour 2 years ago when my grandson was born. Finally we have my mother. I saw her last almost a year ago, at my grandson's first birthday party.

My sister and my mom are very close. They talk at least weekly, if not more. I am the oldest, but my sister is just 11 months younger than me. My brother is 3rd out of 4. My youngest brother Dennis, who is not in this picture because he left the reception early, will not be at my sister's. He and his family are vacation. My relationship with him is a story for another blog, I think.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CINDYSDAY 7/27/2014 10:40PM

    emoticon

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DYNAMICDEB53 7/26/2014 1:07PM

    Seeing family is never easy, but I agree with DH you should go. I have about the same situation with my family. I am also the oldest, but Mom closer to sister #3. Sis #2 and I are sort of close. But I live in CA and sis lives in Ill and mom in FL, so getting together is a major thing. A couple years ago I did just that took a trip to FL to spend with all 3 of them, I am glad I tried it, but doubt I would do it again well maybe for mom 80th or something.
So I can understand some of what you are feeling. And I am sorry that you have to deal with this, I bet you would like to be closer, but it isnt happening. Hang in there and just remember as I do, YOU are a super person and that is what is really important.

Hugs and lots more
Deb

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LECATES 7/26/2014 7:36AM

    Sounds like you are dreading the trip---sure hope that it turns out better than expected.

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BRE2003SB 7/25/2014 11:51PM

    Praying for traveling grace and that ALL will be well. emoticon

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4RASCALS 7/25/2014 9:04PM

    Enjoy the trip. Hope it goes well.

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STEVEN2GO2 7/25/2014 8:48PM

    I hope your family time together is comfortable for all. I hope you enjoy the moments with your family!

emoticon all around I hope!

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ICECUB 7/25/2014 6:32PM

    ENJOY YOUR TRIP. HOPE ALL GOES WELL

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DAWNWATERWOMAN 7/25/2014 5:21PM

    I'm with you in spirit my sister. I love you. CALL if you just need vent. Sometime texting is not enough. I LOVE YOU!!!!!

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WOUBBIE 7/25/2014 2:56PM

    Well, Debb, as Shrek would say, "Better out than in." Go, get it over with, whether it's ugly or lovely, and you'll feel better when it's behind you.

*flushes*

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REALTYLADYLISA 7/25/2014 12:51PM

    Hope your trip is infinitely better than you expect and that relationships can be restored on an even foundation for everyone involved! I am praying that you can speak to them from your heart, that what you have to say will be received in love, and that this weekend will bring YOU a great freedom in your inner self to move forward in every area of your life. Blessings to you Deb! emoticon

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BARBARAROSE54 7/25/2014 11:33AM

    enjoy your trip, hope it's all you want it to be emoticon

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Stress

Monday, June 30, 2014

"Remember that stress doesn't come from what's going on in your life. It comes from your thoughts about what's going on in your life." ~ Andrew Bernstein

I posted this as my status yesterday and it got a lot of 'likes', both here and on Facebook. I have to admit, I have been stressing myself a lot lately. I have not been dealing well with anything since my dad died last month. His passing brought out some things in my siblings that I still haven't dealt with. It's also made me think a lot about my youth and I have lots of unresolved issues with my mom, both past and present. I am not good with confrontation. I have spent my life eating my emotions. I need to learn to deal with these things in a way that is ultimately positive for me.

In the short term, that means deciding whether I will go to my sister's at the end of July and see her and one of my brothers and my mom. (My mom lives in Florida now and I don't have the opportunity to see her very often.) Do I take up my issues with each of them beforehand? Do I do it face to face? Do I let things go and see how the weekend plays out? My DD had an interesting idea. She suggested I write a letter to each of them ahead of time. Then spend time with them and at the end of the visit, decide whether I actually want to give them the letter I wrote. And if I do, give it to them when I am leaving.

For now, I have made hotel reservations for that weekend and I paid a little more so I can cancel them if needed. If we go, we will drive (5 1/2 hours each way), so there are no other things that need to be set up ahead of time. My DH says he'll do whatever I want.

I just need to figure out what that is.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FIT_MOMMY_OF2 7/24/2014 10:21PM

    Your plan with the letters sounds great. I am so sorry about your dad's passing. It is better to have everything off your chest. That is what is best for you. You are doing awesome. :-)

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TEENY_BIKINI 7/4/2014 8:29PM

    I am so sorry about this stressful time. Take care of your self. I am sending big hugs and my condolences.

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CINDYSDAY 7/2/2014 3:46PM

    Hang in there is sounds as if you have a good plan and support!

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TATTER3 7/1/2014 2:56PM

    I have written those letters and often never mailed them. Take care of yourself!

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GORIANA 7/1/2014 10:00AM

    It sounds like you have a good support system. How fortunate to have these people on your side. Good luck deciding what to do.

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NEWTEXDEBBIE 7/1/2014 8:32AM

    Oh my thoughts are with you..... What ever you decide, make it what is best for you......

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WISHICOULDFLY 7/1/2014 6:39AM

    Good for you Deb for recognizing what is going on with your emotions and taking the steps to deal with your stress in a way that will be positive for you. I think DD's idea is BRILLIANT. You can really think about what you need to say and get it all out without interuption or drama. Your hubby and DD are very supportive and that will help. Let us know how everything plays out. emoticon

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LTTLREDCORVETTE 7/1/2014 6:37AM

    I think the letter-writing sounds like a great idea. Even if you never send them, it'll help you sort out in your mind exactly what is bothering you, and that will make it easier to let it go.

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ICECUB 7/1/2014 12:04AM

    WRITING A LETTER SOUNDS GOOD.

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DAWNWATERWOMAN 6/30/2014 11:15PM

    I love the idea of the writing the letters. You have plenty of time to write & rewrite until you say what you REALLY NEED to say. Then yes, see them... give it the time needed. If you choose to give the letters to them, good for you... yes, do it at the end of the visit. If you decide NOT to give the letters to them... you might try burning them after the visit. Sometimes just burning them can help to let go of the old issues.. .they just burn away into ashes & you can throw them away. I had to do that with some MOM issues.

Whatever you decide, it's wonderful that Tony is supporting you. Love you my friend.

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BARBARAROSE54 6/30/2014 11:12PM

    good luck in your decision. I know my own family just fell apart after we lost dad and nothing has ever been resolved and now mom is in nursing home with dementia so can't turn to her. emoticon

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WOUBBIE 6/30/2014 10:44PM

    Kudos to DD for a great suggestion! You know, Deb, sometimes just writing it out AS IF you were going to give it to them has the same effect in your mind and spirit as if you actually DID hand it to them, but without all the stress and potential hard feelings and conflict.

I did that once with my cousin, whom I sorely despise. I realized that she had absolutely no idea how deeply I resented her snarkiness all these years, how many times she had hurt my feelings when I was young and vulnerable, and she would be shocked, and maybe even a little apologetic, if I pointed it out. Once I realized that, I also realized that I wouldn't need to actually guilt-trip her with my feelings. If she ever gave me grief again I would be ready with a response, but it wasn't worth even thinking about her anymore. Bye bye, Cookie!

Comment edited on: 6/30/2014 10:46:40 PM

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Getting to know you (from my friend Connie)

Sunday, June 29, 2014

Your go-to chewing gum flavor… Peppermint

Best time of the year… Fall

If you were a toe nail polish what color would you be…. OPI Samoan Sand

Favorite pie... Eat’n’Park Strawberry Pie

First record you ever bought… I honestly don’t remember

Current perfume you use...Clinique’s Happy Heart

Do you have any trophies or awards…all are from when I was a kid…some bowling trophies, a forensics plaque, and math and business awards

Worst day of your life…Mother’s Day 2014 – my dad died

Do you cuss and swear...Unfortunately…

Celebrity crush you would get a hall pass for… Robert Downey Jr.

What is the new reward if it isn’t food anymore…don’t really have one

What makes you the Zodiac sign you are... I have always thought I did not fit Aries at all until I found this – “Arians are highly devoted to their children, even to the point of laying down their own lives, so that they might live. You will not find a more defensive and loving parent in all the zodiac.”

What is your goal weight.... 170 pounds

Do you think you are a giver or a taker… GIVER...to my detriment

Beach house or Mountain cabin... Beach house

If you monogrammed your towels...... DJS

Someone offers you free plastic surgery, what do you do…. say ‘no thanks’

I might be tempted to time travel back to… do it all differently (if I knew then what I know now)

Nick name in high school... I think I have blocked it out



Now cut and paste this but I want to see your answers...or feel free to post your own blog.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CINDYSDAY 7/2/2014 4:04PM

    I love it and I added it to my page!

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WISHICOULDFLY 7/1/2014 6:32AM

    I love it Deb!

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ICECUB 6/30/2014 10:02PM

    CAN'T CUT AND PASTE. DENTYNE FALL PEACH BLACKBERRY SEATTLE BY BOBBY SHERMAN THE ONE DULCE GABBANA NO TROPHYS DAY MOTHER PASSED LITTLE HUGH JACKMAN PEDI OR MEDI DON'T KEEP UP WITH ZODIAC 135 GIVER MOUNTAIN CABIN SGB NO UNLESS ITS SKIN REMOVAL DON'T WANT TO GO BACK NO NICKNAME

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REALTYLADYLISA 6/30/2014 5:39PM

    Your go-to chewing gum flavor… Don't chew gum, but if I had to pick it would be Juicy Fruit...

Best time of the year… Autumn

If you were a toe nail polish what color would you be…. OPI Push and Pur-pull

Favorite pie... Coconut cream

First record you ever bought… Had to be Elvis...couldn't tell you which one...

Current perfume you use...Coconut Vanilla lotion by Bath & Body Works, nothing more.

Do you have any trophies or awards…some bowling trophies, and a bunch of real estate/ business awards

Worst day of your life…I refuse to have one!

Do you cuss and swear...Not usually...why the *&^%$ would you ask? (Just kidding!)

Celebrity crush you would get a hall pass for… well, back when I needed a hall pass: Patrick Swayze...

What is the new reward if it isn’t food anymore…For now, I'm holding out for a pedicure or a massage (daughter is a Massage Therapist in training)...once I get enough weight off, it could be clothes...

What makes you the Zodiac sign you are... I really don't involve myself with the zodiac and horoscopes etc...

What is your goal weight.... 145 pounds

Do you think you are a giver or a taker… GIVER.

Beach house or Mountain cabin... How about a mountain cabin in the woods on a big lake with a beach?

If you monogrammed your towels...... well, if the last name initial is in the middle, LOS.

Someone offers you free plastic surgery, what do you do….AFTER I lose ALL the weight I might need a little bit of that to get rid of that extra belly skin, you know? That might be the only reason I'd think of saying yes.

I might be tempted to time travel back to… well, not TOO far back, maybe back to the 50's before this country started on its downward moral spiral by taking prayer out of the schools...if it weren't for the lack of indoor plumbing, I'd maybe consider something a bit more colonial...

Nick name in high school... LeeLee


Comment edited on: 6/30/2014 6:13:32 PM

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HMBROWN1 6/29/2014 10:08PM

    our go-to chewing gum flavor… Spearmint

Best time of the year… Summer

If you were a toe nail polish what color would you be…. Hmm - something crimson

Favorite pie... PECAN!

First record you ever bought… Dating myself here but I believe it was Deep Purple

Current perfume you use...Vanilla Body Spray

Do you have any trophies or awards…all are from when I was a kid…Except bowling trophies - lol!

Worst day of your life…When dr said I likely had ovarian cancer - luckily, he was wrong

Do you cuss and swear...Unfortunately… also

Celebrity crush you would get a hall pass for… hmmm, tough call but I will go with Channing Tatum

What is the new reward if it isn’t food anymore…more time out walking and swimming and outside with my dog

What makes you the Zodiac sign you are... I know little to nothing about zodiac - sorry!

What is your goal weight.... 170 - 180 pounds

Do you think you are a giver or a taker… GIVER - it goes with being a mom!

Beach house or Mountain cabin... Beach house

If you monogrammed your towels...... HMB

Someone offers you free plastic surgery, what do you do…. RUN!

I might be tempted to time travel back to… eat less and exercise more!

Nick name in high school... I don't think we had any

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DAWNWATERWOMAN 6/29/2014 10:02PM

    On my phone, will complete & post later.

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