Tuesday, October 26, 2010
On so many levels right now. The fact that this is my PMS week is not helping matters any either. But I just want to throw in the towel, crawl under a rock and die! I am feeling so alone anymore, feeling so stacked with seemingly unreachable tasks. I'm tired. I want to be able to just be for awhile. Not to have to constantly battle, worry, struggle. I hate this time of year too. Having no family makes things rough. I think I may just skip Thanksgiving all together, I don' t have the strength in me to do it. I am soooo tired!! Every little thing is making me cry anymore.
I am tired of "explaining" to "friends" why I am pulling my 10 year old son out of public school to cyber school him because he has been dealing with 3 years of physical and mental bullying. My "friends" are all telling me all I am teaching him is to cop out!! WTH?!? You deal with the most loving, kind hearted kid you'll ever know that is constantly ostracized, picked on and beat up and the tell me different. I am so tired.
I need help right now, I don't know what but I feel like I am drowning in all that's around me. I want my mommy so badly right now. Oh God, it just hurts so bad. I am just praying that by the end of the week I am more normal. Because I can' t go on like this!
Hope everyone else is having a good day!
Monday, October 25, 2010
Things are seemingly becoming more and more difficult to achieve. I have not made it to the gym in over a week. I have kickboxing tonight but not so sure I want to go tonight. I think I may go run at the gym and get some strength in.
Things are just so chaotic here right now, so much to do to prepare for my zoning hearing and inspection. We rearranged the entire first floor yesterday and made the layout much more daycare friendly. Flows nicely, I am glad we did it. Just a few more corrections, safety precautions to take but all in all we are finally very close!! I honestly just can't wait for it to be done.
I have not been eating well, not bad, just not much. I don't eat much when I am stressed and I am definitely stressed. Money is tight this month now after having to spend so much on fees for this. So new winter clothes for 5 kids is on the back burner. Did manage to get my oldest 2 pairs of sweats he's been begging for. The of course comes the dreaded Christmas time. Ugh 5 kids and Christmas equals $$$, though they are realistic in their wishes, which is nice. Oldest wants clothes, I thought that was only girls. LOL
I am still losing weight thankfully, down to 167 this morning. So at least that's being kind to me!
Well I hope everyone has a great day!
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
I feel broken right now, defeated and run down. It seems that everything in my like is like climbing Mt Everest! I know life isn't always easy but I'd like a small break every now and again. I thought I was close to finishing my licensing but the code enforcer I met with this summer gave me the wrong information. So now it's going to cost me $500 that I have to pay by tomorrow just to get a slot in the November Zoning meeting. Then it could take another month before they decide and I get my inspection. Then after all my paperwork is done and sent, it will still be up to 6 weeks until I am ready to go! I really hate this and would love nothing more than to quit my job right now. All this headache for one more child that I will only make $75 a week on! So not worth it!!!
Sorry for my rant, I already cried, but I can't scream at the little kids!
Hope everyone else has a better day than me! Mine is a complete mess!
Get An Email Alert Each Time BCMOMTO5 Posts