Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Well, here I am. Sitting pretty at 20 lbs lost. Woot!
I'm shocked, stunned and in awe. I didn't think I'd do it this week. I've had a terrible week, one filled with stress, focus on other things, lack of sleep and emotional eating. I only got exercise in when I could, not truly focusing on it or putting my full effort in to it. I emotionally ate at times, especially dealing with some pretty tough news the last 2 days. But, that's ok. I'm here.
And I'm 20-freaking-lbs lighter! (overall)
So, what is in store for me now? Well, I am still 5 lbs away from my first big goal - 25 lbs lost or a weight of 239. That is HUGE to me. I haven't been 239 in a very looooong time. When I joined Spark last year, I did manage to lose about 15lbs which put me in the 240's. But I never made it to 239. Since I've restarted my journey this year, I feel that hitting 239 will show that I'm really doing it, really committed and in this for the long haul.
And now I'm simply 5 lbs away. Wow.
But I can't lose focus. I can't lose my drive and determination. I really have to stick to it this time, now more than ever. I can't let my current stress knock me off track. It's already affecting my sleep. And we all know lack of good sleep can certainly slow weight loss.
I have felt myself slipping this past week or so. I've almost had a "blah" attitude about this. Where is my fire? Where is my passion? What new workouts have I been trying?
So, that is my focus/goal this week. Not necessarily a huge drop in #'s on the scale (though, that wouldn't hurt!), but more importantly to regain my passion and drive. I need to keep at this. I've got 2 months until another big life decision and I would really like to have this weight loss well on it's way by then. I don't need worry about my determination when I am dealing with other things. That should be something I can fall back on.
Goal for the week: Strengthen my resolve.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Yesterday was my official weigh in day. I had only lost 6 ounces for the week. Slight bummer, but I wasn't that surprised. This past weekend, DH and I headed to Eureka Springs with my parents and members of our church. We went to the Great Passion Play and several other spiritually uplifting events. I had a great time. It was truly the renewal of mind and soul I needed.
However, I did overindulge. DH and I walked along downtown and stopped in at a little cafť for lunch. It was delicious but I canít even guess the amount of calories. We also got tasty chocolaty treats while wondering around. I knew I was overdoing it, but had hoped that my walking would be enough (we even walked through a cave while there).
So, Iím being honest about my weigh in. Iíve still worked out as planned and didnít let my 2 day indulgence turn in to a week. Once back, I got back in to my normal groove and kept going. I canít allow a weekend to derail me now.
If there is one piece of advice I would give anyone (and please take it with the understanding that Iím still trying to figure this out too), it would be: BABY STEPS. For me, taking little tiny baby steps has been so important in sticking to it this time. Just because I have 1 bad day or 1 bad weekend, I have not let it get me off track. I am so focused this time!
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
I DID IT! (again) I finally officially left 250-ville and landed smack dab in to 240-ville with my weekly weigh in this morning of 247.6. Yahoo! I have actually visited 240-ville before, only to get pulled right back in to the 250's. Well NOT THIS TIME PAL! I am definitely NOT looking back at all.
I feel SO STRONG and MOTIVATED and EMPOWERED! I am kickin' butt and takin' names ya'll! No more EXCUSES! NO MORE Restarts! This is MY TIME and I'm going to do it for GOOD!
Bonues, last night, DH said "I thought to myself yesterday that you LOOK like you are slimming down. I'm so proud of you!" That made me feel great!
Of course, now that I'm in 240-ville, I've already got my sites on 230-ville. The elusive 230's. OhhhH! I haven't seen that village in a LOOOOONG time. So hitting the 239 mark is HUGE for me. I can.not.wait. I am so focused, it's crazy. But, this is so good this time. I haven't ever been this dedicated and determined in a very long time. The last few attempts (even while on Spark) have been half-hearted at best. I would go strong and steady for about 3-4 weeks, then crash and burn. The difference this time is that Iím really taking it slow and making very small, easy to sustain changes. Iím really working hard on changing my deeply embedded habits over a long period of time instead of going completely cold turkey. And look at where itís gotten me! 6 weeks later (including a 10 day vacation) and Iíve lost 17 lbs! Thatís an average of 2.8 lbs a week! Yahoo!! Iím being consistent and THATíS what matters.
Hereís to the next 6 weeks and -17 lbs (or more!)
Friday, July 15, 2011
I realize it's been a while since I've posted a blog. We went on a 10 day vacation last week and it amazes me how busy it causes you to be.
The family drove to PA (from OK, 18 hr drive at min) on July 1 and we returned home July 10. It was fabulous! We visited lots of DH's family, his aunt/uncle that have a river lot on the Susquehannah river and his grandparents on their farm an hour north. The trip was just what my mind needed. It was a true chance to get away. We got away from computers (no network at either place), TV, video games and even (mostly) cell phones. Gasp! I know. The cell signal was very minimal in the areas we were at. It was awesome! I need to post some pics of the scenery we were surrounded by, that alone gave me some deep breaths. I love nature. I love being outdoors. And to be surrounded by the gorgeous mountains of PA and cornfields was awe-inspiring to say the least.
Alas, we did have to come back to earth/home. I have noticed this week that it has taken me until today really to come back down out of the clouds. My brain just hasn't been focused at work. At all. Fortunately I've managed to get enough done so my boss isn't upset, but I just hate the feeling that I'm "floating" through my day.
The real good news is that I pretty much maintained my weight while on vacation. I actually think I lost about 2 lbs, but two days back home, I put it back on somehow (again, mind not focused). Well I am coming back out of the clouds on that one too and am losing again, now that I really am back on track.
I had made a vow to myself to work hard to maintain while gone. I managed to do that with lots and lots of walking, combined with healthy eating when I could. I tended to use breakfast as a good time to get fruits in which I think helped. I also still drank lots of water, not just for diet, but mainly to keep hydrated.
I did indulge, believe me, we went to Hershey PA and visited Hershey Park for 2 days. That is the MOTHER LAND of chocolate. YUMMMY! DH and I were also fortunate to stay at the Hershey Hotel, OMG, a 4-star hotel complete with your very own chocolate welcome. OMNOMONOMNOM. It was fabUlous. We had a lovely time. But even then, I didn't binge or competely over do it at any time. That was key.
So, now being back and my brain finally getting re-focused on daily life I am seeing the scale truly move back down again. YAY! I am getting closer and closer to my first big goal of weighing 239 lbs. It is well within sight.
And can I also say how much I love capris! I am so happy with the pairs I bought before the trip. They were great to wear during the trip, plus with them being a size 22 (instead of the size 24 I am so used to wearing), I am still getting used to the smaller size. They still FIT! They fit comfortably, not tight and in fact are starting to get a smidge loose on me. Holy cow! That blows my mind. I can't imagine being a true size 20 again (or lower). It has been so long. But I will get there - soon!
Thursday, June 23, 2011
I'm going to turn this frown upside down folks.
Yesterday during lunch, I headed over to a local haircutting salon to get my strands trimmed. My family and I are headed to PA on vacation on July 1st and I wanted to have my hair nice and neat for the trip (visiting family).
I should have known that my wish was too much to ask for.
I tried explaining to the stylist what I was looking for. Really just some trimmed off and a slightly different look. Sorry to say, she totally BOTCHED it. I ended up with real short, choppy layers that do NOT compliment my face at all. AT ALL. I thought at first maybe it was because it was just cut and not fixed. NOPE. When I fixed it this morning, pulling every trick I had out of my bag of hair goodies, they only helped a little.
So I am now left with a short, choppy hair cut that only EMPHASIZES my fat, round face.
Now to explain the motivation.
I weighed in yesterday and really enjoyed what I saw on the scale. Even before that I've noticed my clothes fitting looser. I went vacation clothes shopping (which I normally HATE) on Monday to get some capris for the trip (still can't wear shorts in public). I happened to find 3 pairs that were cute and on sale. PLUS, they were all a full size lower than I was wearing and fit comfortably. DUDE! That was awesome.
So I snagged them up and promptly decided to wear a pair to work the other day. I felt like a million bucks! I felt cute, confident and sassy. So you may be asking yourself why this is a bad thing?! (it is)
Because, this is what happens to me. I starting losing weight after 2-3 weeks and feeling mighTy fine about myself. I begin to get pretty cocky and full of attitude. I can conquer anything! I don't need to worry about that extra cookie! And all these self-sabotaging thoughts come in, giving me a skewed outlook on myself (making me think I'm thinner than I actually am). So I begin to lose ground on losing the weight, then BAM, it's all back on again. I know this happens, it occurs every.dang.time.
So, this botched haircut has me feeling not-so-cute anymore. It emphasizes my round (need to lose weight) face instead of allowing me to hide behind it. I think this botched haircut will keep my attitude in check. I honestly think that if I weighed less, aka my face was thinner this haircut might look good on me.
Nothing like some chopped off hair to knock you off your pedestal.
So, while I'm irritated that I'm heading to see long-lost family in just over a week, I'm hoping that the haircut will grow in to something not so terrible. Until it does, I'm going to use this as motivation to keep me in check. While YES, I should celebrate each pound lost, I need to remember that my journey is far from over.
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