Wednesday, May 08, 2013
So it has taken me a while to post this but I had my first 5k in 3 years last week. Woke up to a cold rain. It is May in NC… I mean really 55 and rain? So unlike us for May, but anyways. I was already having a moment since my first 5k my guy ran with me every step of the way. Even though he probably could have tore away from me and won his age division. He stayed with me every step coaching and pushing me through it. So I was nervous to do one without him. So race day comes. Due to the rain I think many people stayed home and it was chaos at the meet point. Everyone was just trying to find some type of shelter to stand under. Eventually the called all 5k participants over to the side of the street. Now I'm not expert at these but there wasn't a start line. You had no clue if you were standing on it, if you had already passed it and your tracker was running, or if it was 5 feet down the road. All of a sudden an air horn goes off and people start taking off. I stood there for a bit trying to let the crowd go but eventually got pushed on into the race into a horrible bottle neck. Of course I hit my running app on my phone so I could track my progress. So I'm running first mile goes off. Great pace for me I'm excited with that but thinking hmmmm….. I thought there was water at that first mile mark, but then eventually the water station came up. Kept going mile 2, slowed my pace a bit, but still really good for me. Then mile 3 including this HORRIBLE hill, but as the 3 mile time went off in my head. I thought wow, I'm doing really good, but man that finish line seems really far to only be .1 miles away. So I finish the race, I saw the timer and thought I was going to pass out. How the heck did it take me 3 mins to run .1 miles? Especially since I sprinted part of the finish. So I quickly grabbed a bottle of water and grabbed my arm bad. Oh no friends we didn't do 3.1 we did 3.38. Now don't get me wrong I don't mind the extra distance but boy was I irritated when they posted the times. Not only did they have this time listed for a 5k which is wasn't, there is no way they were using the timers. Unless I was literally standing on the line when the race started there is no way my time would have been the exact number showing on the board which is what they posted on the results site. This happened to several other people that were in the crowd in varying places. I even checked with others using different running aps on their phones and we all came in with same distances of around 3.38. But the good news is that I went back and checked my run and I only came in about a 1:30 over my original 5k time for the correct distance which was my personal best even out of runs at the gym. So needless to say I learned alot.
I will probably never do another race with the company that hosted it and always wear your own tracking device so that you can be accountable for mileage and time. I would have been very disappointed if the time they posted was my real 5k time that day. Oh and that the running bug has totally bitten me again. Next 5k is in June a color run. So excited and the best part is, fingers crossed he will be home to run it with me :)
Monday, May 06, 2013
Well first of all after several question and personal messages asking who my new super hero guy was. Ta da! Isn't he handsome? Anyways, he reminded me of this picture today and I had to share it. To remind everyone to enjoy the simple moments. There is a huge story behind this picture. The first time he ever threw me onto his back like that. I panicked. Like full out screaming and kicking and hitting the whole deal. It was not pretty and I'm pretty sure at that point he thought he was dating a crazy girl. I had never had that done before and in my head I was still 340lbs+ and morbidly obese and about to crush him. It then was followed by a long conversation about my body image and issues. To which I must give him credit he has been AMAZING about dealing with. So when our photographer suggested we do something fun and crazy. He grabbed me. I luckily this time did not attack him, but started hysterically laughing as you can see in the pic. It may not be the best picture out of the ones we took that day but I think it is my favorite. Moments like that remind me of how much I missed while I was hiding behind all of my weight. It reminds me of all the opportunities that I walked by that I was too embarrassed to try to do. I sometimes still forget I'm not that girl anymore. Sometimes the fear of being too heavy or too big or it being to hard to get in and out of something plagues me. I can not tell you how many things I have skipped out on or made up excuses for because I didn't want the possibility of not being able to do it. I just went to a water park this year, if that tells you anything. Just a month ago we were at a ski resort that had these huge inflatable balls (think hamster balls for people) and I was terrified to the point I almost wouldn't get in the line because I was afraid I wouldn't fit through the whole or couldn't get in and out, but he and the munchkin were not taking no for an answer. So I trudged up the hill with them and almost had a panic attack. I fit in the hole just fine, with lots of room to spare, and hopped right out, no problems, and had the best time. I still constantly have to remind myself I'm not that girl anymore and that I don't want to miss out on anything else. So that is my thought for the day, whether your just starting on this journey, if your somewhere in the middle, or if you have made it to the other side, don't let those little moments slip away without enjoying them.
Sunday, May 05, 2013
I must admit my new fitness addiction, is fighting my husband. Now before everyone panics let me explain. My husband loves brazilian jiu jitsu and mma style fighting in his spare time. I never really gave it much thought before, but after getting tired of being on the spin bike or on the treadmill I decided to let him put me through the paces and I was hooked. You burn a ton of calories, you get out of ton of frustration and so far we've only had a few mishaps that ended up with one of us hurt. Generally, I must admit it is him because he goes super easy on me obviously and I'm not always great with connecting with the correct part of his body or the pads. Unfortunately with his being on the other side of the world our fight training has really become my fighting the punching bag, but I still love it. I know lots of girls have hesitation about this style of work out just like many avoid the weight room, but I'm telling you grab a pair of gloves and take out every ounce of frustration from the day on that bag or if your gym offers bodycombat or a class like it. Try it! I can feel myself getting stronger every day I'm training, not to mention I love that feeling I can take on the world. I will say that it can come with a few bumps and bruises a long the way, but I see them as badges of courage. Here are a few from today. I wear them with pride.
Saturday, May 04, 2013
I have to say this blog will be reliving one of the most embarrassing moments of my life. I am asked all the time about having extra skin, of course I have it, yes it is a problem. I try to look at it as some badge of honor, that I did this the right way, that I fought long and hard to loose this weight on my own. It isn't working. I hear girls say all the time their stretch marks from their pregnancies are their earned tiger stripes…. well my stripes aren't from my little cub, I was honestly so big no one knew I was pregnant. I try to pretend it isn't their and I am an expert in hiding it in clothes.
So flash back to this week. I had been running on the treadmill. Realized I had to run the garbage can to the curb before we got skipped over. I run outside and when I do the neighbors are out. So of course I go over to say hi. Their adorable 4 year old runs up to grab a hug, but that day something struck her. She has seen me in shorts a million times. She reached over and hit the extra skin on my inner thighs and goes. "it jiggles", it feels so cool, why does it do that?" Of course her Mom (who is one of my dearest friends) was a national cheerleader competitor and is an avid runner. So no jiggle there. I just smiled at her and tried to explain in my best four year old, that one time grew really big and then it shrunk and it just looks a little different, but she was fascinated and her mother was horrified. And she finally made her go inside, because as soon as she would run by me she would try to come at me again. No one can blame her, she is four, she was curious, and to her it wasn't a big deal a part of my leg just moved different and she thought it felt squishy. I in my best big girl voice said it was fine and no worries and headed home after we finished our conversation. However, upon hitting the front door I lost it. I wasn't even sure what I was upset about to be honest. She was 4 and not like she was being mean about it. But I finally realized what it is. After all this hard work. I'm still not happy with this new body. This skin is driving me bonkers and it is impacting my life more than I thought. So maybe it is time to take the plunge and just see what a surgeon says. I treated my body like garbage for years and it left some very visible aftermath. You'd hope after all this hard work the universe would give you a break and just let things pop back, but not so much. My poor skin has been morbidly obese since I was 5. That is a long time to stretch, but I think it is about time I look in the mirror and see the victories not all the previous failures. And don't get me wrong the jiggle is much better than tons of fat. Obviously I know any form of surgery (weight loss or plastic) is a personal choice. Still not sure if I'm 100% ready but I would really like to hear what a surgeon says is even possible with my body.
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Ok so if you have followed my blog you would know that the other day I was super proud of myself for running 2 miles without any walking. So today I hop on the treadmill. I would much rather be running outside, but it is 30 degrees outside and I didn't think the munchkin was going to want to be in the jogging stroller for that. Yes, my amazing 7 year old still fits in a jogging stroller, she is a peanut, and luckily blessed with a high metabolism and 12 hours a week in the gym for competitive gymnastics. So I throw on a tv show on the Ipad and start a good jog. I knew today I was trying to go for distance not pace. Mile 1 done, Mile 2 done, and I thought hmmmm lets see if we can make it to 3. Then bam mile 3 done, and to top it off the .1 to make it a 5k. Not a great time 39:00. But I did it. I ran, well maybe I should call it jogging, a 5k without any walking. I'm actually proud of myself, which NEVER happens. Maybe I will get the hang of this running thing.
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