Monday, June 16, 2014
When I first started working out, running was an unattainable goal. In fact, in the spirit of full disclosure, it was a goal I didn't even have. To quote Jake, of Adventure Time, running just seemed like some kind of "leg magic" to me. I'd see people on the treadmill for any longer than five minutes and I could not even begin to understand how they were able to survive that.
My first experience with running was using the SparkPeople 5k Your Way program. That was last spring, I think. It was so hard. A solid minute of running felt like an hour and it felt like my lungs were trying to burst out of my chest, Alien-style. You guys have heard this all before.
But what picked at my brain was how badly I wanted to do the Disney Princess Half Marathon. I've wanted that forever. So I decided to make it a goal of mine. And then once I started running more, I realized that I didn't have to wait until 2015 to run a half marathon. There was one planned for summer 2014 right near my home town. So I signed up. I wasn't ready yet. But I signed up.
Which is how I ended up yesterday, at the starting line for my first half marathon, more terrified than I've ever been. I spent the weeks leading up feeling a complete stomach-clenching fear every time I thought about it. And Saturday, the day before my race, I was a complete basket case. I worried about the food I ate. I worried that I should have bought Body Glide. I worried about the sun. I worried about cramping. I worried about not doing as well as I'd hoped and feeling disappointed in my accomplishment. I worried about oversleeping.
I snapped this selfie right before we took off.
What actually happened that morning is I got to the race, stood in line for the portapotties for 25 minutes, (Seriously, who only sets up 7 portapotties for 1000 participants??), chatted with a woman in line and explained it was my first half marathon, got into the gate, and then I ran.
I paid attention to MapMyRun. I kept an even pace despite the energy of the event. I didn't want to burn out. I hydrated from my own bottles so I got some good electrolytes but I took sips and splashed my face at all the aid stations. And my pace didn't falter.
The course was more flat than where I've been training. And there's something to be said for the competition and energy that comes with being surrounded by other runners and by volunteers cheering for you. And people coming out of their houses just to give you the boost you need.
Normally on my long run, I take a few short walking breaks. A minute here and there. But the only time I slowed down during this run was at the aid stations. Slow to a walk, grab a cup, splash my face and swish my mouth out, and then keep going. 10 seconds tops. And I felt good. Sure there were times when my brain desperately wanted to stop. But I knew my body could keep going. And it did.
My GPS signal pooped out at around mile 6 so it didn't accurate keep track of my pace. But I knew, once I hit mile 10, that I was going to make it under my goal time. I set myself a very moderate goal of finishing in under 2.5 hours. That's much slower than my typical pace. But I didn't want to get into the mindset of a goal that would discourage me if I didn't make it. I've been training for six months. The last thing I'd need is to finish and not be happy with just the accomplishment of finishing.
I sent this photo to my husband during the race, the only time I txtd him:
Thing is, my husband was there to cheer me on at the finish line. But so was my dad. And my mom. And my little brother. And my big sister. And her husband. And their baby. And one of my very best friends. And her husband. And their baby. And I wanted them to know I was okay and I was coming in soon.
When I rounded that last corner, my dad was waiting for me and he ran with me almost to the finish. And then it was there, that final stretch. That gate. There's nothing like coming into that gate. Whether it's a 5k or an ultra marathon, coming into that finish line is an amazing feeling. And when I crossed, the woman who'd stood behind me in line at the portajohns and heard all my nervousness? She was there and said, "Hey!!! Congratulations! Great job!"
But my enormous grin in that photo isn't just because of how happy I was to be done. It was because just before I crossed that line, I saw my family. And I saw my sister holding the most amazing sign I have ever seen.
SP is notorious for clipping the photos down to nothing so in case you can't tell, my sister is holding a poster that she had made of David Duchovny, in his X-Files days, and it says "Run Jolene Run" on it. Nobody knows me the way my family and my husband do. My current obsession is The X-Files. I have posted more status updates on Facebook about it, more #mancrushmonday on Instagram of it, and spent more hours watching it than just about anything else lately. And the tank top I wore for the race? It says "Run like Fox Mulder is Waiting at the Finish Line". And I did. And he was. How amazing are they??
After that, we went and got waffles, which is what I'd been wanting. And then we went to a running store nearby, called Marathon Sports. When I walked in, I was wearing my bib and medal still and the guys working behind the counter asked how it went. I told them it was great and then asked if they sold the stickers you put on your car. I told them that I never wanted to be that person but I just ran and I needed to. They took out a pile of stickers they'd just gotten into the store and asked if it was my first half. I said yes and they said, "Take it" and gave me the sticker. And gave me a high five. Talk about a great celebratory moment.
It's weird that it's over. It's so weird. But it's also incredible. To have accomplished it. To have shared it with my family.
And I'm not done. I've already signed up for another. And I can't wait.
Thursday, January 23, 2014
I can't resist. Everyone else is doing them.
A is for Age: 27. Thirty is fast approaching!
B is for Booze: Wine. I am all about Carmenere lately.
C is for Car: 2013 Honda Fit. I call her Vworp.
D is for Dad's name: Michael
E is for Ego: It is..........large. Except when it's not.
F is for Favorite song or music: Hmmmm, lately I'm all about the Frozen soundtrack and dubstep for running. But my taste is pretty eclectic. Anything from Bollywood soundtracks to classical violin concertos.
G is for Goof off thing to do: I love all things crafts. I quilt and sew and cosplay.
H is for Hometown: Millbury
I is for IQ: It's been a while since I took one. I'd like to believe it's high! hahaha.
J is for Jam or Jelly you like: Raspberry preserves!
K is for Kids: No thank you.
L is for Living arrangement: Own a ranch with my hubby.
M is for Mom's name: Gabriella
N is for Name of best friend: I'm not sure I know anymore.
O is for Observations: About what? How terribly vague. I am observing that this letter is sort of lame.
P is for Phobias: Anxiety. Disease.
Q is for Quote you like: Your name is a golden bell hung in my heart. I would tear my body to pieces to call you once by your name.
R is for Relationship: Happily married and just had my sixth wedding anniversary.
S is for Siblings: An older sister and a younger brother.
T is for Talents: I am willing to try anything. When I want to learn how to do something, I do it. I am really strong, a proficient quilter, a decent crafter, and an excellent listener. I will go to war for my friends.
U is for Unique trait: I have recently learned that people find me interesting. I surprise them. There's very little I won't do. I read the Bible, lift weights, raise and butcher my own meat, tan hides, sew, wear costumes, read comic books, etc.
V is for vegetable you love:Cauliflower. Sugar snap peas. Asparagus. Kale. The list is long.
W is for Worst traits: Anxiety. Always. I am constantly second-guessing myself and assuming that things are my fault.
X- is for X-rays you've had: Back, finger, butt.
Y is for Yummy food you make: Challah bread
Z is for Zodiac sign: No idea. Scorpio?
Monday, December 09, 2013
I've noticed that a lot of you have been posting blog entries with your goals lately and I like that idea a lot. I figured I'd do the same.
Goals for 12/9-12/15
-do all three of my scheduled runs
-eat whole foods for at least 80% of my intake
-do at least one upper body ST workout
-do at least one lower body ST workout
-write in journal at least twice
-hang up art in sewing room and move vanity into bedroom
-cook dinner every night this week
Tuesday, December 03, 2013
It's been so long. Inspiration doesn't seem to hit as often as it used to but I'm doing well! Lots of changes, though!
Some of you may remember that I wrote a blog entry a while back about some poor experiences I was having at the gym. And then that I decided to go back to P90X, this time with the sequel. That went well for a while but I found myself getting bored. Don't get me wrong. P90X2 is a challenge. And it taught me that I'm able to do so much more than I thought I could. Plyo pushups and clapping pushups and ridiculous balance moves. But boredom is the killer of fitness.
I'd been missing running and we officially quit our gym. So I joined Planet Fitness (a gym I have always been kind of opposed to) because it's cheap and I can use the cardio equipment. I pinned SparkPeople's 10k Your Way program and have begun that. I love it so far. I'm definitely settling in to running more than ever.
If you guys are on Pinterest, totally come follow me. And let me know you have or I won't notice. My username is BazookaBobcat.
AwesomeHusband and I also bought a power rack and some mats for the basement and set up an olympic bar and plates for powerlifting. AH recently asked me to join him while dead lifting. SparkFriends, I have hurt myself dead lifting a lot of times. It is always debilitating for several days. My father has chronic lower back problems having to do with the shape of his lower back/hips that I think I inherited. So I gave up dead lifting for a long time. But when AH asked me to join him, I did. And I was terrified. And it went really really well.
So last night I meant to go running. But AH asked me to deadlift with him again. We warmed up with 115. I did 10 reps and felt great.
Then 135lbs x 10. Still felt awesome.
Jumped to 155lbs. Did probably five reps. Two sets there. Still feeling good.
Jumped to 185lbs. Did one rep. Felt good. Felt so strong.
AH loaded the bar to 205lbs. You guys may remember when I reached that goal. Maybe not. It was over a year ago. I haven't come anywhere close since. But I lifted it. And felt so strong.
So I told AH that I felt like I could keep going. So he loaded it to 225lbs. He did a set of probably six and then I got behind the bar.
I squatted down to stretch out my hips and get my mind right.
AH made a joke from Hot Rod that cracked me up so I stayed stretching for a little while.
And then this happened.
That's a PR for me, guys. That is a PR by FAR. That is 20lbs more than a weight I haven't touched in a very long time.
I needed this, you guys. I am more comfortable in my body than I have been in a long time. But I still feel it. I still have those terrible self-doubting moments. I look at the scale and I remember the time when I was a weight 15lbs lower than that number. And I think to myself, "You've gotten fat."
"You're out of shape."
"You've given up."
But then, when I have an amazing run.
Or do five clapping pushups right in AH's face because he acted incredulous when I said I could do them.
Or dead lift 225lbs after taking nearly a year's break from that lift.
I remember that this body is good. It is so strong. And it does not deserve my negative self talk.
It feels GOOD to be proud and take photos. And maybe it's also a little narcissistic but who cares. I certainly don't.
Speaking of which, come follow me on Instagram, too. The_Haack_Attack. Let me know, though, so I don't cancel your request. hahaha.
And SparkFriends, keep posting your blog entries full of goals and PRs and successes. You've no idea how much it helps me and encourages me.
So many good and worthwhile bodies out there. Feels good to remind each other of it.
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