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My Not-So-Healthy Ab Selfie

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

I don't struggle with the same issue as this young lady......I've never deliberately denied myself to get a six pack~actually see it as more of an eating disorder. And unfortunately, know a few ladies....and some men who deal with it so felt need to share the article.

My Not-So-Healthy Ab Selfie by Amanda Adams
Did you know there was a time when I went two complete months without one treat? Not even one hershey kiss, not an extra serving of fruit, not even a glass of wine. *Gasp!* At the time I felt dedicated. I thought, “this is what fitness is” And if I’m really laying it all out on the table for you, I felt like a badass. So, I snapped a selfie as a way to share my perceived badassness with the world, saying “Hey! Look what I did!”

Did I reach my goal to have abs? Yes.

Did I reach my goal to lose weight? Yep.

Guess what else I lost? I lost a couple birthday weekends with my friends. I also lost the energy to study for my exams. I lost some of my hair. I also lost the motivation to even go to the gym after I reached that “give me abs” goal.

This might sound extreme to you, or maybe it sounds eerily like your story. I don’t know the stats, but what I do know is what shows up in my email inbox—stories every day from women struggling through the same traumatic dieting cycle that I went through just a few years ago.

When you and I, the media, the “fitness industry,” and others focus so much on appearance without paying attention to how we’re compromising our physical and mental health, the result can be the opposite of healthy, to the point of disordered and actually causing health problems. Sure, you lose weight, but then here’s what else you lose:
- Energy
- Fertility
- Bone mass
- Patience
- Motivation
- Skin Elasticity
- Smooth Skin
- Taste of birthday cake
- Feeling of laughing with your best friend over wine and pizza
- Insert that thing you gave up to be “hardcore” that you really regret

Fast forward two months after my “look at my 6pack selfie”. I gained back the weight. I was so burned out that I stopped going to the gym at all. I had no motivation to even touch a vegetable (since all I was eating was broccoli and asparagus before). At that moment I felt like a failed. Blah. What happened? It took me awhile to get back in the groove of things, but I knew I needed a different approach.

You Can Do This The Healthy Way

I started eating a VARIETY of foods, with lots of colors. I started incorporating more carbs in my diet (like, a lot more) because I wanted my brain to function correctly and I wanted energy to do anything I wanted. I started working out because I wanted to, not because I had to. I started enjoying fitness and nutrition again!

And you know what happened? Not only do I still have abs, I now have energy, and pizza, and wine, and awesome hair, and the strength to do whatever the “f” I want. Sometimes my abs look all different ways too! As long as my energy is up and I’m getting the proper amount of veggies and carbs. Then, I’m happy!

I want that so bad for you! I want you to experience that feeling of being proud of yourself for more than just having good “selfie abs”. I want you to be proud of yourself even WITHOUT abs! I want you celebrating because you have more energy throughout the day to chase your toddler around or study for your exams, or you tried a new exercise, you made a healthier choice out to eat, you listened to your body and slept in for once, or went to a baseball game and enjoyed a hotdog and beer without the guilt!

And guess what? It’s all possible. Not only from my experience, but from the hundreds of #AABikiniBody girls I see living a fun, healthy, BALANCED lifestyle each day. It’s refreshing, it’s awesome, and crazy inspiring. Now it’s your turn!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ATHENAFOREVER81 8/13/2014 8:18AM

    Great article, and I can relate. I used to be a fit size 4 (and in my mind still didnt feel thin or toned enough). I never had alcohol, sugar, and avoided eating out. It led to a miserable existence and I did achieve a burn out so great that I gained nearly 60 lbs (up to a size 16) after so much deprivation. I was tired of the two hour gym sessions daily and the constantly counting calories, carbs, fat, and proteins, and being aware of what I was always putting in my body. So I went the opposite, ate whatever I wanted, alcohol, dessert, and no exercise.

So now I am starting over with just trying to get to a healthy weight and enjoy fitness with a few cheats here and there. Its been a long journey, but I balance a little more one day at a time.

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NISSANGIRL 8/13/2014 7:02AM

    emoticon blog!!! so many great things u pointed out and are so true! Thanks for posting!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JAZZII4 8/12/2014 6:25PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JILLYBEAN25 8/12/2014 4:18PM

    emoticon I love posts like this- encouraging health over vanity.

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-POLEDANCEGIRL- 8/12/2014 3:22PM

    I am working on my 6-pack. But, I still have wine, goodies and don't work out obsessively. I feel that I am healthy about it. This is a great article though. The link didn't work, my employer blocks some websites

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How To Stop Being So Reactive All The Time (Article)

Thursday, August 07, 2014

How To Stop Being So Reactive All The Time
MARCH 3, 2014 5:06 AM EST

How we interpret things plays a vital role in where our time, energy, and attention goes. While it can be very clear to know what our intentions are, how often do we consider what another’s intention might be?

When we encounter a driver who cuts us off in traffic, do we believe he meant to be violent? What about the relative who nags you about the status of your love life? Was it her objective to irritate you?

What we believe is another’s “intention” colors how we perceive the tone of an email, text, social media post, or even a lack of a response. But in fact, what we presume about someone else’s motives reflects our perception of what we believe to be true of this world and the human condition.

Instead of hunkering down in an assumption and then becoming angry, resentful, offended, sad, and distressed; why not do something about it? Here are six tips to free yourself:

1. Take a beat.

Before reacting in the moment to something that’s been said or you’ve read, ask yourself, What do I really know about this person? What do I think they're aiming to do? When we know very little about a person, how can we possibly make conclusions about the innermost part of their mind? We can’t.

2. Evaluate your beliefs.

What do you regard as truth in this lifetime? Do you feel unworthy and therefore think that everyone is critical of everything you do? Are you convinced success emboldens people to look down on everyone below them? We have to take responsibility for our own frame of reference. Sometimes we can project that onto something that isn’t there.

3. Practice compassion.

Not everything is as purposeful as we think. Accidents happen. People are distracted by pain, worry, and stress beyond what we know in the moment. (For example: The person whose phone rings during yoga class. Do you think they wanted that to happen?)

4. Ask for clarification.

Sometimes it’s best to flush out a contentious situation in a calm, open way by asking the other person what they intended to do, or what had they wanted to accomplish. You may get an honest answer and you may not. But at least you can try to give it a chance. Some people do not act with purpose, they're just unconsciously reacting. The point is, you’ll now know what kind of person you’re dealing with instead of assuming a false reality. You might be surprised to find it was a simple misunderstanding and you grow closer because of this conversation.

5. State it upfront.

We’re not immune to someone misconstruing our intentions, either. Sometimes it’s helpful to just say what it is with something like, “I don’t mean to sound critical but I’m trying to understand _______. Help me to get it from your perspective.” Or, “It’s my intention for this meeting to be more of a free flowing conversation of ideas and everyone should get a chance to contribute.” Stating clearly what the tone of the agenda is can neutralize hostility for a sensitive topic or set an expectation for trying something out of the ordinary.

6. Be the change.

The more we act in the way of our higher selves, plants the idea in others. We have the ability to inspire or expire each other’s vitality in very small but impactful ways. Having the feeling of being understood is unanimous for everyone. We shape our own destiny by practicing more love and empathy for those around us and expanding our comprehension of who someone is, is a meaningful way to do that.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JAZZII4 8/11/2014 5:09PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon Definitely food for thought!

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PATTYKLAVER 8/8/2014 10:05AM

    Great article and tips. Thanks for sharing.

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    This is helpful - thanks

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NISSANGIRL 8/7/2014 6:52AM

    emoticon blog!!! and so true!!!!! we all need to remember this! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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PATTYKLAVER 8/7/2014 5:45AM

    Thanks. So many times, I find that I react without thinking about these things.

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_RAMONA 8/7/2014 2:02AM


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ZRIE014 8/7/2014 12:57AM

  i agree

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How to Find Your Happiness!

Tuesday, August 05, 2014

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PATTYKLAVER 8/6/2014 9:14AM

    Thank you for the reminder to live in today.

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JCLJR4547 8/5/2014 4:45PM

  things cold always be worse!

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NISSANGIRL 8/5/2014 4:05PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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OMNOMNAMASTE 8/5/2014 3:47PM

I like this. I have been focused on "living in the moment" and I think this is exactly what you're referring to.

Best wishes on your journey!

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MJRVIC2000 8/5/2014 2:44PM

    God’s way is always better. Try it! God Bless YOU! Vic.

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Part of a healthy (adult) lifestyle

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

and important for a good relationship! I won't get too much into sex~since some people are uncomfortable with the topic and don't want to see video/article from the Huffington Post flagged for being "indecent". I also won't get into my honey and I's preference or experience......but found this to be very interesting from a women's point of view.

The article is about oral vs. penetration when it comes to sex for hetero and lesbian relationships.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MARINEMAMA 8/3/2014 7:19AM

    Very interesting! Thanks for sharing this!

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Down time.....

Thursday, July 24, 2014

Always find time to take Turkey out for a good run and play on the field. Didn't take much to tucker him out, and just in time.....monsoon thunderstorm~at least the lightening and thunder part are here! So far Turkey isn't terrified, but still resting at my feet. From the looks of the flashes, out the corner of my eye, it could get scary :P

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PATTYKLAVER 7/25/2014 8:44AM

    If there is such a thing as reincarnation, I want to come back as a pet. I'd prefer to be an indoor cat, but know they are all so loved and spoiled.

My Lab Sadie would be having fits with all the thunder rumbling. With the 4th of July just past, there were a couple weeks where she would absolutely not go outside at night.

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NISSANGIRL 7/25/2014 7:10AM

    Glad u were able to take Turkey out b-4 the storm, he is a cutie! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LOSER05 7/24/2014 7:16PM

    I love thunderstorms, especially at night when going to sleep emoticon

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ERINLINDSAY83 7/24/2014 7:13PM

    LOVE good storms!

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