BARBARAROSE54's Recent Blog Entries


Tuesday, June 14, 2011

" I have failed many times, and that's why I am a success. "

last week when I was in to get weighed my weight guru asked me to have a "clean eating week" My week was better but with stress of so much going on, it wasn't "clean".

this week I am going to make a commitment to myself to eat clean. That means all healthy natural foods.

How about joining me? What have you got to lose besides weight !

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FIGHT2SURVIVE 6/14/2011 10:44PM

    If I could come home to fruits and veggies like the ones in your picture, I would do it in a heartbeat. Here, everything comes out of a can. When they tried to serve fresh grapes, 51 people got food poisoning because they had not been washed before they were served and were among a batch recalled that came in from Chile.

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PANBOOKS 6/14/2011 8:25PM

    You can do it! And I... I'll try to do it emoticon

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SHANSHE 6/14/2011 5:00PM

    the foods look yummy for sure, but i cannot afford it this week, hopefully soon.

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GOODHEALTH4EVER 6/14/2011 4:50PM

    CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR HOW YOU FEEL NEXT WEEK! emoticon emoticon

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    emoticon Sounds great, Barbara!

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    emoticon emoticon

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RAINBOWMF 6/14/2011 3:27PM

    emoticon emoticon we can do it!

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LOLAJO54 6/14/2011 2:58PM

    Barb I am with you -- this past month I have ate soooo many vegetable and fruits -- and a lot of water drinking ...
got into eating cucumbers too so all good.

I will be with you except 1 day -- this week on Friday we are going out for my birthday and a friends birthday .. so it will probably be fish/seafood baked potato and salad... not bad but still restaurant food not the greatest...

natural wholesome all the way!

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LIFEWALK 6/14/2011 2:04PM

    I'm in! Let's make this week better, eh?

methinks emoticon

all of those foods look fresh & delish!

Comment edited on: 6/14/2011 2:07:26 PM

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MADKAPKID 6/14/2011 10:01AM

    healthy natural foods is the way to go....and with the fresh fruit and veggie season almost here it will be much easier to do. I don't know if I eat CLEAN or not....I try to make my foods from scratch....but do use frozen veggies etc ....I hope it works for you. Let us know how things work out. Have a joy filled day, Karen emoticon

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DIFROMWYOMING 6/14/2011 8:47AM

    Have never tried it, and can't until I get a couple medical procedures out of the way, but I'm intrigued. Let us know how it goes?

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Sunday, June 12, 2011

" The greatest gift we can give to others is our prayers. " --unknown

Prayer request..... one of my best friends, Anne, is having a mass in her breast removed, please pray that all the cancer is found.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CAROL3SAN 6/14/2011 7:50AM

    I pray that your friend Annie will have a speedy recovery. emoticon

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KITT52 6/13/2011 3:56PM

    praying for Annie

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FLORIDASUN 6/13/2011 11:55AM

    Oh...say no more I'm writing her name down and will add it to my prayer list.

I HATE cancer...I that too strong of a isn't....I HATE the big foodies that poison our food and drink with chemicals, additives, and fake food only for the sense of their own selfish profit.

I also hate the big profits that come from the medical profession with more chemicals, cutting and poison in the so called 'fight against cancer' if you really research profit driven. What is to become of us if we don't wake up and see that what we eat is actually killing at a time...and then when we go for treatment...that's the final nail...just so VERY sad!

We do have a choice...we can reject the foodies and their taunted convenience isn't the least bit convenient to battle the diseases that they give us...then we don't have to resort to the gruesome so called it in honor of Anne. I do it in honor of my friends who recently lost the cancer battle...Donna and Rita.

Hugs and prayers are being sent to you and your friend Anne. I'm sorry for her pain. emoticon

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PILLYWIGGIN 6/13/2011 1:02AM

    I will definitely be praying for her and for you too! emoticon

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GOODHEALTH4EVER 6/13/2011 12:41AM


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RAINBOWMF 6/12/2011 8:37PM

    Prayers for your friend Anne.

Hugs Mary

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    I'll definitely pray for your friend, Barbara. Keep us posted.



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MADKAPKID 6/12/2011 7:11PM

    I have put your friend Anne on my prayer list. emoticon

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    I will include your friend Anne & YOU in my prayers. Love, Dawn emoticon

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LOLAJO54 6/12/2011 6:33PM

    Prayers for your friend Anne --hugs to you too..

emoticon emoticon

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LIFEWALK 6/12/2011 5:55PM

    thank you for the prayer alert.

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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4MRSDAND123 6/12/2011 5:50PM

    I'll pray for her..

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MARYLQ11 6/12/2011 5:46PM

  She is in my prayers

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A little bit of honesty.

Thursday, June 09, 2011

"When the world says, "Give up,"
Hope whispers, 'Try it one more time.' "

I do have times I think about giving up. I've been yo-yoing all my life and I get so tired of it. I keep thinking, why can't I just take a magic pill and my life long struggle of getting to a healthy weight will be over.

A few years ago I lost over 75 pounds, I had encouragement from everyone, all my family and friends, Sparks Pals. I felt wonderful and then I stopped believing in myself. It has taken over 2 years, but I've managed to gain back almost all of it. I have not quit, I have not given up even though I have times I would like to. But I am struggling on a daily basis.

When I was losing the weight, even though my clothes were getting looser and I was going down in size. I could not see it in the mirror. I would look but I still saw that bottom belly hanging almost to my knees. My face was getting thinner, I could feel bones in my neck and shoulder which haven't been there for years. But I could only see the bellies.

Well let me tell you, last night I was looking at a slide show my husband had put together of our last trip together in Punta Cana, back in winter 2008, I was at my highest weight and I swore next time I went back there I would have alot of this weight off. I could hardly move, I felt terrible. That summer I finally started on a new weight loss journey, and I did so good.

Looking at those pictures last night, brought it all back to reality. How could I have looked in the mirror after losing over 75 lbs and say I couldn't see that I lost that weight. I didn't realize just what I looked like.

I need to work harder and get this weight off, and never again doubt what that scale says, when the weight is coming off the body is going to look smaller.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NESSY759 6/21/2011 8:30PM

    Wow when i read this it was as though i had wrote it about myself. I too have been and am in the same spot your in now. I did so well and lost so much weight , i was victorious week after week but then i got slamed with a depression and that was the end of that. Week by week i gained the weight back and before i knew it i was not only back to the starting weight but now i weighed more. I beat myself up over and over thinking how could you do so well and then let yourself get back to the old way. Now i knew it was because i had chose to let myself get back that way through my bad choices. I remember looking i nthe mirror and i too saw that fat saggy belly too and even thought i felt amazing and had lost 123 pounds going from 312 to 189 pounds but still it wasnt enough. weight lose is a struggle and its a battle that you and i and many people have to battle everyday but Barbara we have the tools and we have the knowledge and we KNOW that we did it once before and we can do it again like you said it comes down to BELIEVING in ourselves and finding out why we are self destructive and once we have dug deep enough and are at the root of the weight issues and us stuffing ourselves to feel better we will be successful. I have faith Barbara and i BELIEVE in you.

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-LORI-B 6/13/2011 8:17PM

    I totally can relate to thisblog. Thanks for sharing. Knowing Im not alone in this insanity helps alot. 1 smAll step at a time
We have the ability to make a fresh start when we need it.

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FLORIDASUN 6/13/2011 12:02PM

    Here's the deal...don't let the mirror influence you...let your own feelings of ease of movement, feeling lighter, healthier, and happier be your guide.

Besides...who the heck is ever going to be seeing your belly anyhow? They will see the sparkle in your eye, the spring in your step, and the self pride of love for yourself beyond anything else!

Don't ever give up on your sweet beautiful self..just start your clean eating journey one meal at a time. I find that if I eat a little protein with a complex carb every 2-3 hours I am NEVER hungry and then I never have to worry about slipping and over eating.

Go to Carolyn123 and see her amazing journey with eating clean...I'm so happy that I might have been a tiny influence on her amazing journey..if she can do it...WE can do it..just be consistent and determined you are SO worth special loving care...

Big smoochy hug! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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FAB_IN_11 6/10/2011 11:51AM

    I did the same thing, and here I am back here where I belong! Where you belong! You can do it, I can do it, We will do it! Hang in there!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LOOKING_UP 6/10/2011 9:03AM

    Our minds are the most powerful tool we have, I think. It's funny how your mind doesn't always catch up to your body...but that can be changed with work. I think we need to retrain our mind as much as our habits--that's the ticket!! Awesome reflection, Barbara. I think this was a HUGE revelation for you and will make all the difference in the summer challenge. Keep working hard !! You are doing a great job!!

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CAROL3SAN 6/10/2011 7:22AM

    Thanks Barbararose. Great post. I know exactly how you feel because I've been there before. I lost over 175 pounds and gained back more than 50 pounds of it and I still had a lot more weight to lose. I don't know what it is...perhaps it is psychological, or some sort of fear that was preventing me from making any more progress. But I think I've got the old fire back in my belly and am once again determined to reach my goal weight. I wish you all the best in achieving success for yourself too. emoticon

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KELLY_SS 6/9/2011 10:38PM

    Oh my gosh, I can relate so well to your blog.
When I started losing the weight, I couldn't see it either. My clothes were baggy and the scale said something good was happening but I couldn't 'see' it with my own eyes. When people complimented me on it, I thought they were just being nice.

But next time people notice and compliment me, I'm going to say thank you and mean it! I think most of us have a distorted vision of our own bodies anyway. I can't see my backside so in my mind 'it's not that bad' but the reality is, it's pretty darn big. lol!

You're not alone. When you get scared or angry or the # on the scale is not nice to you, just holler out, you've got a whole team of Limes to lean on. We're already in the cheering section for you! emoticon

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I'm struggling, too. Let's do it together!

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BE-THE-CHANGE 6/9/2011 5:23PM

You said it all!

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  Hugs to you Barbara. I understand not seeing it that is why I have hubby take pictures. I know you can do it Barbara....i believe in you!

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JETTANALA 6/9/2011 2:59PM

    Barbara... the yo-yoing is a song I am familiar with...
Time to learn from all the mistakes.. take my hand, I am with you on this one!

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BEBRENDA 6/9/2011 1:04PM

    Barbara, Great blog and great comments! It is all about body image. "Accepting and loving your body makes you feel better about yourself and what you can accomplish. It makes you feel more confident so that you can lose weight and better control the course of your health. So your body image is a big, big deal." Dr. Phil, p 24 The Ultimate Weight Loss Solution.

Hugs! :) Bren emoticon

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BEACHWALKER86 6/9/2011 12:31PM

    Barbara, this is a beautiful blog and you have had some outstanding response. I have nothing to add to what the others have said because they have said it all and said it well. We all need to learn to love ourselves for who we are at any given time, recognizing that we are worthy and lovable, no matter what the outside package looks like. And, as you and so many others have said, usually that outside package looks a lot better than we think it does! You are a beautiful person and I thank you for this blog; it has made me think and also brought tears to my eyes.


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LIFEWALK 6/9/2011 12:26PM

    You've received wonderful comments and I so agree, I have the same thing. I can remember being 135 and feeling fat and ugly because I wasn't smaller and although a healthy weight was pressed to lose to look more like a twiggy... And now I look back and would give my right hand... but when I lose, I don't see the changes... although I can notice my wrists and forearms feel smaller, observe the thighs/glutes are smaller and stronger but look in the mirror and still see/judge too fat... I love the idea of photos along the way... maybe from the same distance and angles so we can see it and begin to believe it! in our hearts as well as in our mind! I hate that we are concerned about weight, because it is just our package and we are so much more that our body, and when we love others it is for who they truly are. We should love ourselves, treat ourselves like we love and accept others, quirks and all... More practice, eh? Anyway, thank you for sharing this, it's an issue for me as well, and your blog & comments Sparked me today! Thank you :)

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    emoticon Barbara! I've been there too and I'm still struggling. When I first joined Spark People, I lost almost 100 lbs. Then I started doubting myself and letting stress take over. I gained almost all of it back and I've been struggling since. I did manage to get off a little over 50 lbs and I've kept this off for awhile, but have struggled with the last 10 lbs. Gaining and losing those last 10 lbs for the past 6 months. It can be aggravating and depressing, but the key is to never give up. Just keep moving forward. I try not to dwell so much on how I handled things in the past.

Take care!



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LOLAJO54 6/9/2011 11:41AM

    okay Barb -- read your blog read the comments --all good all excellant suggestions too...

here is my spin ..
you look in the mirror and see your insides not your see self loathing .. you see struggles... you see fat! why do I say this --well believe it or not when I looked in the mirror this is what I saw too say no way..yes way...
I did not see the skinny me sometimes the way to skinny girl I did not see the mature woman of 40 or 50 I saw a fat ugly person who I loathed --I loathed myself even more when I started trying to get healthy and I did not see changes either..why because I was looking at the person I thought I was not the person I ---- as Linda and others have said look in the mirror -- see who you are --really --love yourself love the hard work you are doing to get healthy... love that you can now walk without pain.. love that you can climb stairs without being out of breath.. I love you my dear dear friend --believe in true self not the self you think you are...

and yes take pictures and put them on your poster board so you can see the changes in the physical apperance.. and each time say I love me I love who I really am..

and yes listen to your spark friends who are on this journey too..

emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 6/9/2011 11:44:35 AM

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MOMOFBOYS 6/9/2011 10:58AM

    I get where you are coming from. I struggle with low self esteem and negative body image. I am trying to learn to love me and live for the moment and quit hiding and "waiting" to lose the weight to do anything. I am a work in progress but I am trying hard to overcome the negative feelings! I know you can do this! Just keep on trying! emoticon emoticon

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QUEENANNE1953 6/9/2011 10:56AM

    Great and honest blog ...

If it WAS easy, dear Barbara, EVERYONE would be slim and healthy. You have to remember that YOU are worth it, YOU deserve to be healthy and fit, YOU have every right to devote your time and effort to just YOU. Don't dwell on the past .. live in the moment and do for you today!!!! Today you will do moderate exercise, today you will eat heart healthy meals and snacks, today you will look in the mirror and say to yourself .. "I can do this" ..

No excuses .. just do it day at a time... emoticon


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PILLYWIGGIN 6/9/2011 9:58AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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    I so appreciated your blog and your candor. I have had a body image problem for years. I can remember trying on a down coat I got for Christmas one year a long time ago and feeling that I looked like a blimp (not because of the coat, because of my weight!), and only recently came across a photograph that was taken of that time. I was shocked at how slender I actually was! That wasn't the way I felt at all.

I have spent the last 30 years of my life gaining, losing, gaining back more, never achieving my goal. I've even revamped my goal as I've aged to something I felt was more sustainable. No matter where I am in that process, I don't think I have a truly accurate picture of what I really look like until I see myself in a photograph. I recently had some pictures taken when I walked my first 5k and just saw them yesterday, and I couldn't believe how baggy my clothes were! I've lost 47 pounds and hadn't updated any clothes because I am still so far from goal. I had no idea, really, how I looked.

What I'm saying is that I think all of us who have weight/body image issues have problems with assessing where we REALLY are. We're either focusing on all of our flaws or we're numb and oblivious to them. Please remind yourself that, while you are so much more than just your outer "shell," your body is still a God-given instrument through which you are here to enjoy this life. It has taken me a long time to realize that I have thrown away literally half my life because of my weight. In whatever time I have left, I'm determined not to do that any more. I'm reaching, struggling, and crying out to reach a level of fitness where I can embrace life instead of hide from it. I wish this for you too. It's hard work, but we all deserve the wonderful outcome!

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    I believe that those of us who have weighed higher amounts develop "broken eyes". I can totally relate to not being able to see the difference. I look in the mirror and I see "the elephant woman". It's very discouraging. But, we must keep on pursuing our dream of HEALTHY LIFE! Spark On my friend. I'm with you 100%. Love ya, Dawn emoticon emoticon

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SHANSHE 6/9/2011 8:28AM

    Thanks for your honesty Barb... just a suggestion, maybe pictures along the way would HELP you see yourself smaller as you go???

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RAINBOWMF 6/9/2011 8:22AM

    Barbara, we all saw the weight loss. You got impatient with your self. Patience is so important.
We all use so many excuses for not exercising or to eat one little muffin, WE ALL DO IT any of us that are yo yo scale jumpers know what you are going through.

Lets get through the rest of June one day at a time.

There is no pill no magic program, just little steps that add up to a fit mind and body.
Lets take lots of little steps in the right direction, success can be ours.

Look at all the examples we have--- Kitt & Carol just to name a couple. We can do this!!!!! emoticon

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PIXIE-LICIOUS 6/9/2011 8:16AM

    Barbara, I lost 86 lbs in 2006, and I have gained it back plus more.

When I was 86 lbs smaller, I did not see it in the mirror either. I had gone from a size 24 to a size 10 but I still saw myself as a size 24.

Now that I have gained the weight back, I look at pictures of myself from when I was a size ten and all I can think is "Wow, I was so small!" But I couldn't see it when I was actually there.

Hang in there Barbara and don't ever quit. We will both lose this weight again. I am here anytime you need support. Come join us on the Days in a Row challenge on PNP. I am finding it very motivating to try to string together successful days, and I think you will too.

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WINTER20101 6/9/2011 8:13AM

    Barbara awesome blog!! Buddy you need to look in the mirror and say those works again!! "Good morning Beautiful" and start to believe it again!! All that know you know you are a beautiful person on the outside and inside!! Just know I am always going to be pulling for you! Hey you lost 75lbs!! That is not a easy thing as we both know!! You put your big girl panties on and just did what you needed to do!! You are one of the strongest person i know.. yes you are strong!! Ok you have been traveling on some back roads.. but now it is time to get in front one day at a time!! I know you want this bad enough!! Do you? I will be hear for you always!! Until the end!! I want this bad for you as i know you do!! So what if you have to give up something that you love for now!! NO food is worth making you feel bad about you!! LOve ya emoticon

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PANBOOKS 6/9/2011 7:45AM

    You can do it!!! Stay positive and when you look in the mirror, reflected back will be the beautiful you!

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SMARTLOSER 6/9/2011 7:33AM

    We are our harshest critics. It's cliche but true. I'm glad you're trying again. You can do it!

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MADKAPKID 6/9/2011 7:11AM

    Barbara this is an awesome heartfelt blog! The good news is you have never given up. You learned alot about yourself and now you can tweak the plan. I can identify with the part that says even though you lost weight you still "SAW" yourself as not having done so. I don't know why that is, but I think it is a common problem for those who have lots to lose.

Honesty, being really honest with oneself is not easy. IT is a good dose of reality though. AND, having done so you now have a renewed game plan....renewed energy into getting the weight off.

I know you can do it! You are an amazing friend and sparker! Have a joy filled day, Karen emoticon

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Thursday June 2nd, 2011

Thursday, June 02, 2011

30 years ago today, my son, Ryan was born.

Today I am wishing him a very happy birthday !

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CAROL3SAN 6/3/2011 11:52PM

    Happy birthday Ryan!! Thirty is a wonderful age to be !! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LOLAJO54 6/2/2011 10:35PM

    aww what a great mom you are..

the big 30 ..

hope he enjoyed his day..

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SIMPLE_IS_BEST 6/2/2011 4:50PM

    How sweet! Happy birthday to Ryan. :-)

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LIFEWALK 6/2/2011 3:33PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticonsings along... happy bd Ryan!

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KELLY_SS 6/2/2011 2:11PM

    I hope Ryan's birthday is fabulous!!!

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SHANSHE 6/2/2011 2:07PM

    Happy 30th birthday Ryan!

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    Happy Birthday to Ryan! emoticon

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BEBRENDA 6/2/2011 10:53AM

    Happy 30th Birthday Ryan! Your Mom has told us how special you are to her! Wishing you a happy day! Take care! :) Brenda emoticon

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    Happy Birthday to Ryan!!! emoticon

Hope you have a great day, Barbara!!



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4MRSDAND123 6/2/2011 9:51AM

    Celebrate! emoticon Happy Birthday Ryan! Hope you have a wonderful day! emoticon emoticon

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RAINBOWMF 6/2/2011 9:17AM

    Happy Birthday to Ryan
Nothing like being 30 !!!!!!!!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MADKAPKID 6/2/2011 9:04AM

    Happy Birthday Ryan! They grow up so quickly. May you and him celebrate this day with joy!

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FLORIDASUN 6/2/2011 7:16AM

    Happy birthday Ryan...your birthday present...the BEST ever is the same one this birthday as every year...your sweet, adorable, SMART, savvy, caring momma!

Lucky, lucky you! Have a safe, happy, healthy birthday sweet boy!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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GUMDROP123 6/2/2011 7:07AM

    Happy birthday to your son!!!

Jenn emoticon emoticon

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WINTER20101 6/2/2011 7:00AM

    Happy Happy Birth Day Ryan!! emoticon You have such a awesome mom!! May you have the best B/D every emoticon

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Saturday May 28/11

Saturday, May 28, 2011

"All the statistics in the world can't measure the warmth of a smile."

Go ahead and have a wonderful healthy day !

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RAINBOWMF 5/29/2011 12:05PM

    No blog Sunday LOL I came to see it!


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LOLAJO54 5/28/2011 9:23PM

    hope you had a happy healthy day too..

hugs Jo

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CAROL3SAN 5/28/2011 5:37PM


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DAWNWATERWOMAN 5/28/2011 12:17PM

    I try to spread the SMILE EPIDEMIC every where I go! Love ya, Dawn emoticon emoticon

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SHANSHE 5/28/2011 11:42AM


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LAINIESNEWLIFE 5/28/2011 10:15AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Hope you have a great Saturday!!



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RAINBOWMF 5/28/2011 9:58AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Have a happy Saturday!

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SEAWAVE 5/28/2011 9:47AM

    I'm glad it's morning, and not evening. That cat is a bit nightmare-inducing emoticon

Have a great dayt, and a great week-end!

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KITT52 5/28/2011 8:32AM

    I sure agree

smiling can change your whole day

have a happy week end and lets all keep smiling

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