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What the heck is going on ?

Saturday, October 31, 2009

This is the question that my weight consultant keeps asking me every Saturday morning when I get on the scale and it stays the same, or goes up.

And every week we try to figure it out, we do come up with reasons or like she calls them excuses.

So this morning was no different than any other Saturday morning, I get on the scale it goes up, okay, let's talk about it, what's going on. I wrack my brain once again. First off we discuss the food I ate over the weekend, yes it was off track, why? I don't have a reason why I just did it (yes I love to eat) but right back on track from Monday to Friday. But then she points out the carbs I'm having at supper time. So my excuse is.... it's hard not to eat carbs.

We talk a bit more, and time for me to go home. So the trip home I keep going over and over my past conversations with Tammy, and the reasons/excuses we have come up with over the last few months.

1. Stress in my life
2. stopped putting myself first
3. Too hard on myself, I am my own worst enemy

Here are a few that we came up with.

On the way home Shannon calls, and wants to know how I did today and I told him not good, his answer"we'll discuss this when you get home" So I knew what was going to happen, now it's time for him to kick my butt, and I deserve it. After all I'm forking over good money to go to a weight loss clinic and if I'm not losing weight, then I'm throwing good money out the window.

So we have the discussion and I told him, I knew it was coming and I totally deserve it, cause it's not fair to him that I am taking money to waste, if I'm not going to lose the weight. So we keep on talking about what is going on. He told me to stop whining and crying about it and just do it (sound familiar Anne?)

I looked at him and said you are right, I totally stopped following my weight loss program, and started doing Barbara's program. I stopped believing in the program.

emoticon emoticon emoticon light bulb moment..... I don't believe in myself, I don't believe that I can lose this weight, I don't believe that I can reach goal.

Why is this......

I have so many people in my corner, so many people wanting me to succeed, everywhere I go people are cheering me on.

Everytime I get on that scale and I stay the same and report it I'm expecting to see that look in their eyes letting me know that I'm a failure, added stress to me, and then the tape starts to play in my head "you are a failure, you have always been a failure, all your life you've been a failure when it comes to your weight"

So then I start to prove it to everyone, "I am a failure"

Starting tomorrow I will prove this to be wrong, Tammy is so right, I am my own worst enemy, nobody called me a failure, it's my own insecurities.

I will get up tomorrow morning, get out my daily journal and write in it my daily menus for Sunday, and every day I will do the same. I will make sure my Suppers are only 4 oz chicken, or fish, and at least 2 cups of veggies.

No more cheating all weekend ! My cheat day is lunchtime after my weighin and no other time !

I know I can do it, I have already done it.

Yes Pixie, I will get into onderland and use my tattoo coupon !

Tomorrow is the 1st day of November and I have 2 months until the end of the year and I will be successful in 2009 !

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KRZYKAT3 11/6/2009 6:33PM

    Great light bulb.

I just have one comment - please give up "cheat" days or meals. I have found there is no such thing as cheating and if there is, it is only cheating me....

We need to learn to eat healthier and enjoy our less healthy foods as TREATS!!! rewards to make our life full of spice. We need to figure out how these rewards will fit in our program and not call them cheats, treats are so much nicer!

You can lose it Miss Barb! I am right there with you on the merry go round and up and down. Gain 1, lose 1 and on and on. I am now on the path to lose it all then go with this maintaining gig! I have it down way too good!

Let's kick some pounds to the ground!

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SHANSHE 11/5/2009 12:28AM

    I thought i had commented on this blog, but appreantly hadn't and that must be why i had not deleted the e-mail! :)

Anyway, it's always good to be honest and we all quit trusting the process at one time or another,good you can see it for what it is and are committed to putting yourself back on the list!


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TREA241 11/4/2009 7:20PM

    Fellow Lemonhead- I know how you feel. I am my own worst enemy. Just like that song says! But what has helped me in the past, was I sat down and wrote down what I am losing weight for. I told myself I couldn't say for a smaller pant size, but for the real reasons I needed to lose weight. Reading it a couple days later, I was able to find where my excuses were coming from and then I had to decide if I wanted to overcome those or if I wanted to just keep making them.

You can do it. You are a huge cheerleader for the rest of the team, just put on that outfit for yourself too ;) I have faith in you and you should too! xoxo- andrea

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B-N-ME 11/3/2009 7:23PM

    Some deep thinking Barb, and just like on the BL show an ah ha moment....You are a great person and I have full confidence you can do this! You deserve it!!


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BEBRENDA 11/3/2009 3:33PM

    Barbara, I think that when we are heavy, we have a "fat self image" and then when we become thinner we have a "thin self image" and it is very difficult to devolop a "thin self image." Even once we are thin, the "fat self image" can still remain with us. This all goes along with Dr. Phil's Right Thinking, Key One. You are doing the right thing examining your thinking and figuring out what is going on with you. I recommend that you continue to do some journaling. It is true that you motivate and inspire many people, including me. I am happy to be on this journey with you. You are doing a great job being a leader of our team. You are a wonderful family member. Now, it is time to put yourself first and really go for your goals. I know you will make it to onederland and to your goal weight. There are a lot of exciting things ahead for you. Don't let a little setback get you down. You will get through it. You are doing all the right things. It is important to stay on your program while you maintain and soon you will be losing again. You are making progress. Keep up the good work. Take care! :) Bren emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SPARKPIXIE 11/3/2009 8:35AM

    I know you will get to Onederland my friend. I have faith in you and I'm glad to see you have faith in yourself too now. You're never a failure until you give up, and I know you will never do that! I'm rootin' for you!

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NORMA/MAC 11/3/2009 8:33AM

    aw sweetie you are so hard on yourself

you are not a failure ok

love ya sweetie and good luck norma emoticon emoticon emoticon

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TN_HAMMOCK 11/2/2009 1:47PM

    Rock on!

Log it before I eat it....when I started planing and tracking my food is when I started finding success.

Stay charged up! You can do it!


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HADLEY456 11/2/2009 1:27PM

    Great discovery! And like FloridaSun wrote- you are always in our corner, cheering us on. Now look behind you, we are all here, cheering YOU on. GO Barb GO! We all believe in you.

You have been one of my truest friends, you are honest with me (even when the truth was nasty). Now let me be your friend. You know my number, call it. You know my address, stop over. I'll here for you when you begin to doubt yourself, because WE don't doubt you.

Love you! Heather emoticon emoticon

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JAZABEE 11/1/2009 10:03PM

    Barbara, We are human and as humans we have self doubt, you have recognise that it was your own self doubt that pulled you back. I have told you as so many others that you are our hero and we have so much confidence in you coz we know you as our strong willed Barbara you can do it and you will reach your goals.......Reading this blog has helped me my friend to recognise that I too have self doubt and I'm my worse enemy.

Love you my friend!

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TERESAM1 11/1/2009 9:45PM

    Well my longtime friend. You certainly have struck a chord in me I can tell you. Sounds as if you are reading my blog instead of writing your own. So what is the matter with us? WE are the reason we keep failing and you are right.......and so is Shannon. Its time to quit whining about it and do what we have to do.

I also love to eat and love junk food, but I also know that I can do without it. As for having a cheat time, I think that is a good idea. One treat and done, once a week, and done. I am going to try that right along with you my friend

You ahve come a long way farther than me and its time I started to gain some self-respect and get busy



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NESSY759 11/1/2009 7:40PM

    Wow Barbara your words spoke right to me. Its as though they came right from my own mouth .Thats exactly what goes on in my twisted mind. I think to myself man i have disappointed everyone and man i have failed them as a team member therefore i must be a failur. All my life i have been told this so sometimes i think and even have said on the occasion that why shouldnt this be any different. I know it can be different becuase i too like you have Barbara have done it and i know i can do it again we can do it i know we can. Funny thing is Barbara i love to be in control but yet something like controlling what i eat i cant seem to do. You knwo it was easier to quit smoking for me lol. So lets get healthy i know we can and like you i have alot of people cheering me on and i too am my own worst enemy becuase no one has given up on me or called me a failur so why should i and you shouldnt too. You are and amazing person miss Barbara and an inspiration to many including me . So Make time for you and remember like so many have already told you your worth it and i am too.

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FLORIDASUN 11/1/2009 6:46PM

    My beautiful Barbara amongst all are always in my corner..rooting me on, encouraging me, symphatizing with are a true pal and I adore you!

Now it's time to be in your corner...YOU can do this YOU must do this...first of all for yourself...and secondly for your family and loved ones...hey that includes us sparksters! Make yourself up a big ole' pot of veggies...I posted a good w/w recipe for one at only a 1/2 point per cup on my friends MsEleni's page yesterday I think under comments. That was my ALL time fav soup from W/W it is yummy and filling.

I also posted a really good roasted maple squash recipe that will hit your sweet tooth..and hear me on this...if you STOP eating processed junk that comes out of a can, box or will lose the weight. I'm telling you your body stores preservatives, chemicals, and stuff it can't recognize..if you go more natural you WILL lose the weight..I'm living proof of it...I adore you sweet wonderful get to it!!! Said with obvious love and affection! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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    Barbara, your light bulb moment is ALL of our lightbulb moments! Great post. It sucks that we don't have anyone to blame but ourselves but I'm here to tell you that you CAN do it and so can I. Weekends - I so look forward to them but truth be told - they're bad for me! I, too, do great all week and throw all my good work away on those 2 little days off.

Now, I'm not willing to give up my weekends - but I, too, need to be more focused on the food and make it like any other day. My weigh-in day is Monday (what was *I* thinking???) and dread the scale tomorrow.

I think success comes in achieving little goals - like drinking the water, and eating X# fruit & vegg & getting in that walk X times per week - so for you and me, another little goal would be to be as disciplined on Sat & Sun as we are M-F! We can do it!

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JEAN524 11/1/2009 6:15PM

    You will do it, if you are determined enough. Anyone can be a winner if they want to enough and you do want to. Take a day at a time, a step at a time and perhaps increase your exercise a bit and by next you will be losing. I'm making a fresh start tomorrow too, so let's do it together. emoticon Love, Jean

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UP-4-A-CHANGE 11/1/2009 5:15PM

    Great eye opner, I need to belive in myself too! we can do this and we will finish what we started! You are a very strong woman probally stronger then what you think! emoticon

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    Wow, this blog was definitely an eye opener for me. You can do it, Barbara! I'm right there with you. Let's do this! Let's put ourselves first no matter what! You can do and so can I!!!

Hope you have the greatest week ever! Take care! You're #1!!!!



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-LORI-B 11/1/2009 1:42PM

    Isnt it amazing that no matter how many people say we are beautiful, strong, inspirational, deserving and so worth it. No matter how much they say they believe in us and we can do anything we put our minds to if we do the work.. No matter how many times we are told this.. until we start believeing in ourselves we will never have the success we want and deserve. Its about time we stand up and shout to the world..
Lori has spoken..LOL

Comment edited on: 11/1/2009 1:43:49 PM

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JOHNHARNEY 11/1/2009 1:08PM

    HI I liked this blog because it is so true in so many ways. I didn't believe I could do it for many years and it was until 1-1-09 I decided I'm the most important thing I have OWNERSHIP of and I'm looking just as bad on the outside as i'm in the inside. I know I have to Believe to Achieve and the choices I make today are the results I will get tomorrow. I treat this as a six day job and then one day I can treat myself with something if I feel i need it. I know that wasted time is gone forever and now i'm not going to let it get by me. We can do this and we are both winners and will shine for the whole world to see. Love Always emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LOLAJO54 11/1/2009 12:58PM

    Barb wow love your light bulb moment... so clear and you know what so true!
Barb please put you first -know you like helping others obtain their goals but you know what YOU need to obtain yours first my dear.. then spend time helping others..
Second know ever second of the day YOU are worth this - trusting the process is so important- You know your body and what it needs to keep fueled so do this... with your consultants help..
3rd do not forget we are human and you have your team to rely on when you need that hug or the kick.. to get you back were you need to be..
Mary and I love you Barb and we want more then anything for you to obtain your goals and guess what we have no doubts you will do it!! You can do it!
trust yourself believe in yourself
no doubts no negatives
Positive all the way baby!

do it for YOU! emoticon emoticon emoticon Jo

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BARBARAROSE54 11/1/2009 12:48PM

    Once again, my fellow Sparkers are coming through.

Look at my new team members, they simply think I'm an amazing person, and you know what I am !

I have been using today to keep myself positive, with no negative thoughts running through my head.

I know I can, I know I can, I know I can.... I will succeed !

Thanks to all.....

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SHAYGETSFIT 11/1/2009 12:40PM

    You are so strong! Being able to admit to that to yourself takes a lot of strength and courage. But remember: you are an amazing person! and you WILL succeed!! Just keep up your positive attitude and believe in yourself. You can do it!!!!!!

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ASRMOM 11/1/2009 12:29PM

    You can do this! I don't believe you are a are a success to me. Think of me (and most of us here!) when you expect to see/hear those negative people. WE believe you can!

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LISALYNN1960 11/1/2009 9:46AM

    You CAN do it!!! YOU are worth it! Go all the way!!


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LIVE_TO_LOVE 11/1/2009 8:56AM

    Hi Barbara!
I am very impressed with all the great support and comments you've been given!
Today is Day 1 all over again! You can do it! I love what others have put about doing it for yourself. I think that is the biggest lesson I have learned at SP. Building with babysteps and reinforcing good choices...celebrating success, positive self-talk...kicking guilt and shame OUT the door...all mental keys. And , of course , NO EXCUSES. I think most of us can relate to where you have been, and are all working on these same things. THank you for SHARING! It's an ongoing effort, and it's great to be here TOGETHER.
Hey, I was noticing that you don't use SP food tracker, and saw your reason, and I just wanted to say that it is all adjustable, and you can adjust your daily goals to meet your individual needs. I don't use their meal plan, I just do my own thing, and tracking here and making my choices public has been one of my #1 tools here. However, there's absolutely nothing wrong with the way you're doing it, it is really motivational to have your food choices out in the light. I tend to be a private binger...NOT good. It takes time, but well worth it.
You know what works for YOU ~ just DO it, my friend!
I can, you can...WE CAN!
Cheering you on, and proud of you for sharing this,

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HAPPYCHICK10 11/1/2009 8:30AM

    Execellent!! I seem to be on a roll of ruining for myself too...this was an eye opener. thank you!

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NANCYS_TIME 11/1/2009 6:42AM

    Wow, thank you for writing this blog. I thought I was reading about myself. I didn't see that I was living the same thing you are. You have truly innspired me to believe in myself and believe I can do this.

emoticon emoticon

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BARBARAROSE54 11/1/2009 6:00AM

    I write my food diary out in my journal for my weight loss consultant.

I used to do it on Sparks but Sparks was too critical of my menu, and I kept changing it up to suit what Sparks was saying, one thing I kept changing is my carbs, and the program I am on doesn't want me eating alot of carbs.

this is why I do not do my food diary using sparks' nutrition tracker.

I need to stay true to my program. But I do appreciate your concern and totally understand what you are saying.

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LIFEJOYPASSION 10/31/2009 11:02PM

    Me again. I also agree w/ Corina. Make your food diary un-private. I used to whine about not losing weight and some fellow sparkers pointed out all my food faults.

I hated them. But I changed because they offered the truth.

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LIFEJOYPASSION 10/31/2009 10:59PM

    Hi Barbara, it's Gretchen from the 2010 Team. How do you feel at the end of each day when you know you've gone over your calorie range or not followed your eating plan? And then how do you feel after your weigh in? And how do you feel when you have to face everyone and tell them you failed? I think the feeling is not only fear. It sounds like dread, despair, worthlessness and hopelessness.

Now ask yourself, when have there been moments you have felt proud of yourself? Hopeful? Happy? Isn't it soooo much better to feel that way? Next time you are confronted with the choice of doing what you want to do and ignoring your best intentions, remind yourself that YOU feel sooooo much better when you're proud. It is JUST NOT WORTH the self loathing to make the wrong choice and beat yourself up for it. When carbs are asking you to eat them, remind yourself over and over, I don't want to feel bad, I don't want to feel bad, I don't want to feel bad.

You can do this because you know what feeling good feels like!!!

The choice isn't about success. It is about feeling good and having good thoughts about yourself, your life, and your future. And you keep the focus on what YOU want, not what others want as your friends here have pointed out.

Barbara, you know you are in the right place here on Spark, and you're never alone!


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CORINA-MOMOF4 10/31/2009 10:53PM

    I really like Mary's idea of printing this blog for yourself!

Are you tracking all your foods here on SP? If not, I highly recommend doing so. I went to check out your food tracker but its set on private.

You will get there - this is a great blog that you wrote! Post this AND pictures onto your fridge and cabinets and every time you're tempted to "eat something not planned" you will see this and be reminded of where YOU want to be. You CAN do this!!

ETA: You've lost 67 pounds so far - so you know you can do this! WTG on those 67 pounds gone! Thats awesome!! One day, one step at a time.

Comment edited on: 10/31/2009 10:54:35 PM

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JUMPNFOOL 10/31/2009 10:32PM

    The key point in your blog for me was this statement: "I have so many people in my corner, so many people wanting me to succeed, everywhere I go people are cheering me on."

You know, that's great having all these people really wanting this for you. But that's not enough. YOU have to want it too. You can't do this for anyone but yourself. And you have to figure out why you want it. What's your motivation? And then you use that motivation to keep you on track.

But everyone slips. And it's how you mentally handle those slips that help you get back on track. I don't think laying the guilt on or letting others lay the guilt on is productive. You slipped, you're human. So tomorrow you get back on track.


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TXLIZWOLF 10/31/2009 10:23PM

    I was like that for two years. When I first signed on with SparkPeople I experimented with this and that and really did not accomplish anything - I gained 5, I lost 5, and I gained them again.

Not until I looked around at people that I wanted to look like, and realized that some of them were overweight at one time did I kick myself off in my rear and started to get with the program.

We can only be successful at reducing our weight if we see the light. Nobody can do it for us, three are no shortcuts - it has to be in our head, and in our mind and in our heart - otherwise it won't work.

I think you finally got it in your heart, and you will be great now.


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KPACE7 10/31/2009 10:01PM

    What an epiphany. Attitudes are contagious. I hope I catch yours!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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YAFENELRA 10/31/2009 9:53PM

    You CAN do it!! You ARE worth it!! You just need to make up your mind that you are NOT a failure!! Go, girL!!

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I was in your boat for a long time .Then I couldn't pay for anyone to tell me what really I knew a lot about.Then I started in spark doing simple stuff one step at a time .When I was quite comfortable then I added another small change like stopping sodas ,then had to stop fast food for lack of money and homecook to save money etc.I let space for whatever I wanted to eat I try to find a place for its calories in the whole week that way I don't feel deprived.One thing that helps me is thinking about how many walks in the trail I need to burn whatever I am eating most of the time by the time I calculate it I don't eat it..If I decide to eat it I might as well enjoy it .Later I slowly added quick fires and walking it has also helped .I try to feel relax about it if I stress in whatever I do I will flunk.I read all the pages of the people that had lost weight and maintained it from each of them I learned something.Also I read motivational pages ,nutritional ,exercises etc.I am trying to laugh a lot and sleep better.
You can do it probably you can stop paying the lady and not feel bad about it.
Marta Nydia

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BARBARAROSE54 10/31/2009 9:20PM

    I appreciate all the comments being left on my blog.

emoticon emoticon

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ILEANA77 10/31/2009 9:08PM

    No matter what weight loss program we follow, if we do not believe in ourselves, we are not going to be successful. You are a wonderful woman and I know YOU CAN DO IT. emoticon

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DEEDAYE 10/31/2009 8:56PM

    I can so identify with everything you said, in fact I could have wrote this blog myself!! We have to change our thinking in order to change our eating & behaviors. First, I don't think you should label any meal a "cheat". That is negative thinking. I think when we say to ourselves, "we cheated" it feeds into our sneaking food and feeling ashamed. Every meal is a choice. You choose to eat something that is more caloric for that meal. Then you choose less high calorie foods for the other meals. We are in control, even when we say we are out of control! It's always a choice. I for one have made too many bad choices. I'm with you, in the two month we have left until the end of the year , WE CAN DO THIS!!!!!

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QUEENANNE1953 10/31/2009 8:34PM

    Thanks so much for sharing Barbara .. that was not an easy blog to write. We all know that when you don't trust the process things don't go the way we want.

You discussed and analyzed the situation and came up with the only right answers. You have to take care of yourself .. because if you don't .. nobody else will. Exercise, eat sensibly, drink lots of water and get lots of sleep. All these things can be accomplished and as you already know, when you preplan .. its heard to not follow through.

We here at BLAHC all know you are not a failure .. you are an inspiration to our team .. you have lost of an amazing amount of weight and should be proud of that.

Good luck, God bless and you know the rest ...

JUST DO IT .. you know you can.

Hugs always

Comment edited on: 10/31/2009 8:36:38 PM

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RAINBOWMF 10/31/2009 8:29PM

    Barbara, print this blog out and read it everytime you want
to eat more then you know you should.
I felt every one of your words as if I had wrote them.

Hugs my friend, it is a long and winding journey but I know
you are going to make it happen! Yes, you are!

emoticon go Barbara go!

Love Mary

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BOUNCY2 10/31/2009 8:24PM

    First off you read my email.....second you are successful.....did you not lose weight this year already? Yes you did......and have motivated all of us...I know you can finish what you started.....just do your program and forget those tweeks......hew!! hew!! you know what i mean..

Yes you need to put Barbara Rose back first.....right are the most important person you will ever know .....and it is y ya from now on i will be like i was on circle of friends.......when you say somthing i will tell is tough sometimes.and you do the same to me......well you have hew!!! hew!!

GOI Barbara cz sometimes in 2010 you will be at your goal....i know it!!

Bouncy Reindeer emoticon

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HAPPY-DESTINY 10/31/2009 8:23PM

""So then I start to prove it to everyone, "I am a failure"

Starting tomorrow I will prove this to be wrong, Tammy is so right, I am my own worst enemy, nobody called me a failure, it's my own insecurities.""

It's not about failure! You are being who you have always been and seeing what you have always seen and staying within your comfort zone.

Why not take a look at your Fear of Success????

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DBELLE39 10/31/2009 8:14PM

    Now that's the attitude to have Barbara! You must believe in your ability to conquer this weight battle. I know you can do it, but you must know it also! Sounds like a great strategy you have planned, stick to it & you will see results!

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JALENMAC 10/31/2009 8:14PM

    You've taken the first step. Choosing to change. Good Luck! emoticon

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CHRISJAKE 10/31/2009 8:05PM

    We all know you can do this Barb. You have come so far already and you are alwaays cheering everyone else on and making other people a priority. Time to put you first and concentrate on getting healthy!!

We are all behind you and here to cheer you on!!




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Refocusing on me.... my Plan of Attack !

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

This past month has been extremely busy for me. As many of you know I chose to lead a Spark's Class team... Oct.11-17/09. This has been a wonderful experience and one I'll never forget. Introducing new members to the great world of Sparks has been alot of fun, but overwelming.

It's kept me very busy, especially where I have a full time job also. So now I get to the point of this blog. It's time to refocus on me and my Spark's journey.

No I'm not giving up on my new team, I'll always be there for them, however I am moving myself up to the top of my priority list, which is where I need to be in order to stay on track.

I will be focusing on me and my goals. Take time to smell the roses once again.

Now for my POA- continue to drink 10 glasses of water daily, focus on my daily food intake (no more extra treats), focus on my workouts (no more making excuse why I won't)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RAINBOWMF 10/31/2009 8:13PM

    emoticon read this before but did not comment for some reason emoticon

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TN_HAMMOCK 10/30/2009 8:01PM

    Getting those workouts in is SUCH a challenge! I really see the difference when I do them vs. when I convince myself that skipping a day....or two....or three....isn't such a big deal.

Here's to getting our workout on!!


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-LORI-B 10/29/2009 11:20AM

    GO BARB GO!! Love the plan. Joys of womanhood..Easier to help the world then help ourselves.

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KAYLSLYNN 10/29/2009 10:41AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BROWNSTUF 10/28/2009 10:08PM

    Love your POA
Good with it and hope your results are just as awesome

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SHANSHE 10/28/2009 11:11AM

    GREAT job Barb! LOve your POA!

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GONANA 10/28/2009 10:51AM

    You Go, Girl!

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DBELLE39 10/28/2009 7:59AM

    So glad to have you back ready for attack! Sounds like the perfect strategy ---you will succeed!

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NORMA/MAC 10/28/2009 12:38AM

    good for you barb norma

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KATSMOM1 10/27/2009 10:25PM

    emoticon You are doing a great job Barbara, putting yourself on the top of your priority list is what you need to do, good for your for realizing it. You are an inspiration! emoticon

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JAZABEE 10/27/2009 10:14PM

    Barb, if we don't put ourselves first nobody else is going to look after us it's taken me a long time to realize that.
You are first priority, you owe it to yourself! as you said time to smell the roses....You go girl!!! You can do it..
Have I told you lately how proud of you I am....I'm so proud of you girlfriend!!

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DARA52 10/27/2009 8:56PM

    Good job realizing what you need. It's never wrong to take care of ourselves first or else we won't be any good for anyone else.
Take care!

Dara52 emoticon

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MRSWIGGLY6 10/27/2009 8:53PM

    Hey Lady,

I know how you feel! I probably was in your spot about two months ago when you kept our private team together. If it wasn't for you and the other leaders helping me out I don't know what I would have done.

But there is a time we have to take priority. I love spark so much and know that it works I want to help everyone that comes here. But clearly as I found out that can be done. As I was losing my battle on the journey and had to take action.

All the advice I was giving to others wasn't helping me. I am glad you are taking it back. You just have to learn to say enough is enough. That is why you don't see me but a few hours each day. Before I was there for hours at a time when I should of been doing my own exercise.

Love ya lady and I am here for you at anytime if you need me to give you that kick that sometime we both need.

Marilyn emoticon

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B-N-ME 10/27/2009 8:43PM

    You can do it Barbara! If you don't put you first, no one else will!!! Go Barbara Go!!!

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TEDYBEAR2838 10/27/2009 8:06PM

    You sure put the priorities in a good order, you first then and only then, can you help others. I'm new to this group, but already enjoy and look forward to hearing more in your journey to healthy!

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LISALYNN1960 10/27/2009 8:05PM

    Way to go Barb! It's so true that YOU need to come first. Glad that you have decided to refocus your energy. You deserve it!

Happy Halloween!!


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KIZIDOG 10/27/2009 7:42PM

    You definately are number one and you need to focus on you. It is always good to help others but not at your own expense. I always have to remember this also. Good luck Star emoticon

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AMITAI 10/27/2009 7:38PM

    I understand where you are coming from. We all get like that, whether it be our kids, work, helping others, we give up what little me time we have and give it to someone else. Sometimes we just have to say no and take care of us. Good luck on your quest.

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LOLAJO54 10/27/2009 7:37PM

    good going Barb!
You are # 1 -
just do not spread yourself too thin...LOL !!!

emoticon JO

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RAINBOWMF 10/27/2009 7:30PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MAGA99 10/27/2009 6:52PM


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JEAN524 10/27/2009 6:51PM

    Spark is about finding yourself and if you don't leave yourself enough time then it is a bit pointless. Hope that you manage to get the balance right and have enough time for yourself. emoticonLove, Jean

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2BLEAN_N_FIT_AZ 10/27/2009 6:29PM

    Oh yes, you have got to stop and smell roses...if you don't they wilt and die and you are full of regrets.
I found I was spending way too much time on Spark during the day and I had to pull back. I decided I wasn't going to be able to be everybody's cheerleader...but that I could do what I can while I am on.
I have again found time for the crafts I enjoy doing, as well as reading the books that have been accumulating on my book shelf.
The roses smell wonderful...hope you are enjoying them, too!

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MOMTOCJ 10/27/2009 6:13PM

    I like your sentiment. I often get so busy doing for everyone else that I lose myself. Take care of yourself, you're who matters most. emoticon

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    Barbararose, we all understand. After all this is why you joined SP in the first place. Just remember we are here for you when you need us.


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Don't look back.....

Wednesday, September 30, 2009


As you travel through life there are always those times
When decisions just have to be made,
When the choices are hard, and solutions seem scarce,
And the rain seems to soak your parade.

There are some situations where all you can do
Is simply let go and move on,
Gather your courage and choose a direction
That carries you toward a new dawn.

So pack up your troubles and take a step forward -
The process of change can be tough,
But think about all the excitement ahead
If you can be stalwart enough!

There might be adventures you never imagined
Just waiting around the next bend,
And wishes and dreams just about to come true
In ways you can’t yet comprehend!

Perhaps you’ll find friendships that spring from new things
As you challenge your status quo,
And learn there are so many options in life,
And so many ways you can grow!

Perhaps you’ll go places you never expected
And see things that you’ve never seen,
Or travel to fabulous, faraway worlds
And wonderful spots in between!

Perhaps you’ll find warmth and affection and caring
And somebody special who’s there
To help you stay centered and listen with interest
To stories and feelings you share.

Perhaps you’ll find comfort in knowing your friends
Are supportive of all that you do,
And believe that whatever decisions you make,
They’ll be the right choices for you.

So keep putting one foot in front of the other,
And taking your life day by day…
There’s a brighter tomorrow that’s just down the road -
Don’t look back! You’re not going that way!

© Author Unknown

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ORANGE_MAMA 10/27/2009 1:12PM

    That's uplifting, especially on a cold rainy day like today.

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SHANSHE 10/2/2009 1:48AM


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LOLAJO54 10/1/2009 7:25PM

    emoticon for sharing
emoticon poem.
emoticon Jo

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JEAN524 10/1/2009 6:19PM

    That's great and such a good reminder, considering I've been bewailing my stupidity now for a couple of weeks. Time to move on. Thanks for sharing it with us. emoticon emoticon

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BEBRENDA 10/1/2009 10:19AM

    Barbara, I liked that. Thanks for sharing. Take care! :) Bren emoticon emoticon

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NORMA/MAC 10/1/2009 9:40AM

    hi barb

good thoughts and yes we can;t go back just ahead

thanks for the thoughts and insights norma

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48MYYEAR2014 10/1/2009 9:13AM

    wow! that`s too deep for me, sorry

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-LORI-B 10/1/2009 8:44AM

    Thanks for sharring HUGS

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MYSONG 10/1/2009 6:44AM

    Perfect timing---thank you.

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DBELLE39 10/1/2009 5:24AM

    Barbara --- I love this, thank you for my morning dose of inspiration, I needed that for today! Hope you have a blessed day.

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KATSMOM1 9/30/2009 11:24PM

    That is beautiful thank you for sharing Barbara.

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RAINBOWMF 9/30/2009 8:39PM

    Thank you Barbara.


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Thank you Sparks Pals

Thursday, September 24, 2009

I want to thank all my Sparks Pals who honoured me by voting for me as a Sparks Motivator.

It really made my day yesterday when I recieved the e-mail from Sparks.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JLBARNEY 10/17/2009 12:12PM

  I just saw your progress! omg! That is very motivating to me!

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JLBARNEY 10/17/2009 12:09PM

  You were the first one to comment on my blog...up until then I felt like I was writing into space, that no one was really out there - thanks! And yes, you comments are motivating and appreciated and sound. Hope you are taking your own advice, too!

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CORINA-MOMOF4 10/7/2009 2:07PM

    You are well deserving of it! You are a huge inspiration to many! :)

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BEBRENDA 10/1/2009 12:51PM

    Barbara, emoticonon being a Sparks Motivator! You are so dedicated to your program and so inspiring to others! You deserve it! Take care! :) Bren emoticon emoticon

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48MYYEAR2014 9/29/2009 8:19AM

    emoticonon becoming a motivator emoticon

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FAIRFAUX08 9/28/2009 10:51AM

    You can only get in return what you give out, so congratulations on your recognition! emoticon

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    Congratulations on your recent award. I too can see how you are a SP motivator.

Kudos to you for all your efforts


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KITKAT1982 9/26/2009 10:15AM

    Way to go! Much congratulations!!!!

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RAINBOWMF 9/24/2009 8:39PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

a great honor and you deserve it!

emoticon Mary

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SHANSHE 9/24/2009 7:01PM

    You just now got recognized as a SP motivator?? Well congrats, but I figured you would have gotten that a long time ago!

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TERESAM1 9/24/2009 6:04PM

    No one deserves it more than you my good friend. I am going to try to feed off of you and get my act in gear. Another try aat starting this and doing it right this time. The restart queen is at it again.



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LITTLE_QUEEN 9/24/2009 4:43PM

    emoticon that is fantastic! emoticon

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JEAN524 9/24/2009 4:35PM

    Congratulations. You're a big inspiration to so many, you deserve it. emoticon

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KAYLSLYNN 9/24/2009 4:34PM

    YOUR BACKGROND IS GREAT .GOD BLESS YOU AND YOURS KAY emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BROWNSTUF 9/24/2009 1:15PM

    congratulations you are an inspirations to all

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GONANA 9/24/2009 12:40PM

    OF COURSE you are a spark motivator!! Your upbeat attitude is contagious, your heart is full and it shows!

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SPARKPIXIE 9/24/2009 12:36PM

    Congratulations!! I know how great that felt. I remember when I got the email that I was a motivator...I cried!!! I still feel so honored by that.

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YAFENELRA 9/24/2009 12:35PM

    An honor well deserved!! Cogratulations!!


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    Barbararose, you deserve this honor. You have always been there with support and a kind word for everyone.


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NORMA/MAC 9/24/2009 11:07AM

    hi there congrats you deserve it big time

for always being there for us all congrats again


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DBELLE39 9/24/2009 7:53AM

    Barbara --- You so deserving of this special honor!!! Keep sparking the motivation, you are doing great!

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MRSWIGGLY6 9/24/2009 7:46AM

    you sure do deserve that honor! Congrats!

I am finally back now as I got court over with on Tuesday and the floods here in GA are over with.


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I believe

Monday, September 21, 2009

A Birth Certificate shows that we were born

A Death Certificate shows that we died

Pictures show that we lived!

Have a seat . . . Relax . .. .. And read this slowly.

I Believe....

That just because two people argue,
it doesn't mean they don't love each other.
And just because they don't argue,
it doesn't mean they do love each other.

I Believe...

That we don't have to change friends if
we understand that friends change.

I Believe...
That no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt
you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I Believe....
That true friendship continues to grow, even over
the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

I Believe...
That you can do something in an instant
that will give you heartache for life.

I Believe...
That you should always leave loved ones with
loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I Believe...
That you can keep going long after you think you can't.

I Believe...
That we are responsible for what
we do, no matter how we feel.

I Believe...
That either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I Believe....
That money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I Believe...
That my best friend and I can do anything ~ or nothing ~ and have the best time.

I Believe...
That sometimes the people you expect to kick you
when you're down will be the ones to help you get back up.

I Believe...
That sometimes when I'm angry, I have the right to be angry,
but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I Believe...
That it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others;
sometimes, you have to learn to forgive yourself..

I Believe...
That no matter how bad your heart is broken, the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I Believe...
That our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are,
but we are responsible for whom we become.

I Believe...
Two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different...

I Believe...
That credential on the wall does no t make you a decent human being.

I Believe...
That the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.

'The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything;
they just make the most of anything

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BEBRENDA 10/1/2009 12:55PM

    Thanks Barbara for sharing. That was good. Take care! :) Bren emoticon emoticon

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CELEST 9/24/2009 10:49AM

    Wow that was beautiful. I have "stolen" it to send to my sister who is verrrry far away from me at the moment and missing home terribly. This is so beautiful, that she will either cry and release her pent up misery or she will bloom with its beautiful words. Either way is okay.
Thanks also for commenting on my blog, Alex does love being with me as much as I love being with him. We spend time together every single day cos my kids live around the corner....and my dill and I see each other every day. Our great relationship sparks a wonderful sharing of a beautiful grand child.

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BJCANDOIT 9/24/2009 9:39AM

    That is beautiful and something we should always remember.

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JAE_HENNINGTON 9/23/2009 3:38PM

  beautifully said and so true

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SHANSHE 9/22/2009 1:55PM

    Love it!

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BANANIE41 9/22/2009 7:18AM

    Absolutely beautiful!

Thank you for sharing!


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BARBARAROSE54 9/22/2009 6:23AM

    Yes, someone sent this to me in an e-mail, and I wanted to share it with my Sparks pals.

I love the pic of the rose and butterfly.

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YAFENELRA 9/21/2009 10:18PM

    That was great. Thank you!!

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LOLAJO54 9/21/2009 9:48PM

    this was a good one!
love the picture of the rose and butterfly -this should be your new tattoo so beautiful
thanks Barb!

emoticon Jo

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DBELLE39 9/21/2009 9:33PM

    Thank you so much for sharing, beautiful but true words!

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B-N-ME 9/21/2009 8:51PM

    I read this somewhere before, but a reminder is always good
Thanks for sharing

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CACTUSFLOWER* 9/21/2009 8:49PM

    Thanks for sharing this! it is really good and some of those things are really something to ponder.


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NORMA/MAC 9/21/2009 7:19PM

    hi barb thanks so much for sharing and thanks for the blog norma

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BOUNCY2 9/21/2009 6:59PM

    Thanks Barbara for posting this Buddy.....beauiful words and the picture is awesome with it........

Love LInda

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KRZYKAT3 9/21/2009 6:28PM

    Amen & Amen!

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JEAN524 9/21/2009 6:28PM

    Amen! Thanks for sharing it. emoticon

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RAINBOWMF 9/21/2009 4:39PM

    I Believe is lovely.
Your picture to go with it is beautiful too
Thanks for sharing.

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KIZIDOG 9/21/2009 2:45PM

    What can I say-AMEN-that pretty well sums up how I want to live my life. Thank you so much for sharing that. Star emoticon

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WILDMAMA 9/21/2009 1:52PM

    Thank you for sharing this. emoticon

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