Monday, September 24, 2012
After an unbelievably tough Saturday, I weighed in Sunday morning to a delightful 15 lbs loss so far. I wasn't just excited, I was estatic. When I joined Spark in 2011, I wanted to lose weight for my daughter's graduation in 2012. I bumped up and down and all around and gained weight to my all time highest weight. I felt like a giant tub of lard trying to get dressed for her special day. I made up my mind that day that I wasn't going to let my body rob me of the joy of living. Even more, I was done letting that feeling rob me of celebrating my family.
I thought I was going to cry when my sponsor wrote down 200.2 in my starting book at Weight Watchers. All the shame and humiliation of being out of control pooled in my eyes as I gathered my materials and found a seat over in the corner. My heart was humiliated but my head was saying, "This is the last time. Make it your best one."
My focus for the last six weeks has been, "Learn from the past." Here is what I have learned. When I lose weight, I compromise very quickly as a reward. I rewarded myself with food and with a free pass on exercise. This week I made significant progress in breaking that habit of sabetouging my success. The effort paid off in a two pound loss!
I also learned that I tunnel in on the negative. I can be in a meeting with 20 volunteers and hear the only one complaining and disregard the 19 who are excited and positive. I have a lot of work to do in this area, but at least now I am more aware of this bad habit.
Today I feel amazing. My head is stuffed up, my nose is running and I am pretty sure I have a fever, but I feel amazing! Why? It's the power of progress. I am making sweet, blessed progress in changing my relationship to food and more importantly to myself