Monday, January 14, 2013
9 weeks begins today and I'm thrilled to say I'm moving along still focused and committed! It definitely feels easier now that it's a habit. Of course I wish it could go quicker, but patience and staying in the moment are all skills that require constant work. I've almost gained my old strength back in my weight lifts. My bench press is up to 70lbs...I should be back up to 85 in 3 weeks....I can definitely see the physical changes, as well. Ditching the loose fit shirt helps me stay inspired to work harder. I'm on the final week of my current workout that I find is a great one to really see results quickly. It has me lifting heavy/low reps followed by lighter/higher reps all in the same workout. It takes longer, but it gets you stronger and leaner at the same time.
But, as with any workout, you must change things up every 4 weeks. Knowing I was finishing this workout, I spent Saturday planning my next program and putting it in my logbook. I found one that requires 4 day-a-week lifting for the first 4 weeks, then 5 day-a-week lifts for weeks 5-8. It's all written down and ready to attack starting next Monday. By the end of this program I should see a big difference, just in time for short sleeves/shorts!
I mentioned in my last blog, how an occasional slip-up shouldn't permit you to go complexly overboard, but instead, just get right back on track. As I was on the Internet today I found a video by Hannah Curly and Olivia Ward talking about the very same thing. (they were Biggest Loser winners.) It's always good to know that other people have the same struggles as I do, and it helps accept that it's not a weakness, but simply human nature.
As I've said, one of my big problems is the negative talk I have with myself, and it's very detrimental to indulge in such a waste of energy. Its always easier to be kinder to myself when things are going well, but I must not let slip back into that bad habit in times of struggles.
Saturday, January 12, 2013
Well, I would have to say the answer to that question is 8 weeks! Today, was the first day I stripped away the loose fitting shirt and traded it in on a workout tank top! I wasn't sure if I was ready to expose more of myself, just yet, but I went for it. It's really liberating to know that my hard work is paying off, and people have noticed, and given compliments. It's nice to hear that other people can see the transformation taking shape. But, more importantly, it helps fuel my desire to keep on doing what I'm doing.
It really drives home the point that exercising is the key to everything. Not just cardio, not just weight training, but the combination of the two, along with good, healthy eating=success in weight loss and health.
Of course, I knew that all along, but had lost my focus and desire along the way. All that started with skipping workouts. Letting those workouts fall by the wayside was the beginning of the death spiral within which I was caught. I know that stopping the cycle is difficult, yet not impossible, and the sooner the better. I read once, in Dr. Oz's book, to immediately get back on track, when a slip-up occurs. Don't allow once mistake to multiply to multiple mistakes, or an entire day/week of bad choices. I let myself ignore that good advice for months, and the end result wasn't pretty. This week I made the first bad choices in eating since I've been back on track, and I followed Dr. Oz's advice, and recovered immediately. It's good to know I don't have to lose total control if I slip-up now and then.
The internal negative talk is still an ongoing battle for me, and I understand that this is where it must all start, in order for me to finally win this battle I'm waging.
Tuesday, January 08, 2013
I've been pondering many things lately. The first being, how much I enjoy the gym, and my gym friends. They are people who I've known for 5-6 years now, and it's nice to know they keep an eye out for you. I love my gym, it's cost effective, it offers everything, it's clean, and I never have to wait for cardio or strength equipment. That being said, I often find myself wondering why some people even bother coming to the gym. Many people spend most of their time chatting on their phone, while barely breaking a sweat, or talking to other people while leaning on equipment they aren't using. Some people never pick up a weight, and spend untold hours on cardio machines. Then there are the guys, who lift more weight than they can comfortably lift with proper form, just to impress someone else in the gym...then they leave all that weight so that the next person wanting to use it, has to put all their plates away....but, of course, everyone has the right to do as they desire with their memberships, and deserve some credit for showing up everyday. These small annoyances are easily overlooked though because there is so much more good than bad. Without this gym, I could never workout the way I need. trying to keep weight loss going without the benefit of the gym is nearly impossible, of course it works for a while, but at some point there is just no way to adequately change and challenge yourself. This journey requires not only good nutrition within a specified calorie range, but it also requires physical activity, both arobic and anorobic in nature. I know this, because I lived it, and had success. I may have slipped up, but I know that I am capable of doing all these things for the rest of my life. It's a little harder now that I'm older, but I'm still making it work, from now into forever.
Monday, January 07, 2013
I was watching TV last night and caught an interview with Al Rocker and with the exception of the bypass surgery, our stories had similarities that gave me a moment to pause. As you can see from the story of my journey, my weight loss was phenomenal in 2006 & 7. I LOST 143 lbs during that time and felt so successful and happy. But I soon learned that losing the weight was the easy part. Though I kept my workouts intense and consistent for 4 years, the weight was creeping back on. Life changes caused a disruption to my routine, and slowly, my consistency eroded to the point where I didn't go to the gym for months, before coming back in November. My diet, eventually wasn't as it should be, even though I never went completely off the deep end, and kept many of my healthy habits, I often found excuses to exceed my calorie count and snack on cereal and pretzels to excess. Ultimately, the scale became a forgotten accessory that I began to balk at even stepping on. Somehow, in my head, as long as the first number was still a 1, I could convince myself I was still ok. Of course, that led to the eventual shock of the scale screaming 201, and me clawing my way back on track.
By listening to Al's story I understood how easy it was to become one of those statistics I was certain I would never be....you know the ones who gain their weight back.... This realization has helped me ease the daily-beat-down I lay on myself. It's still a work in progress, but I now see that as disappointed as I am with myself, I'm not unique in this experience.
Giving myself a break, is part of the problem, and contributed to the cycle of failure that I was experiencing. The more I strayed from my healthy habits, the more I hated myself, and thus eased the pain by adding to those failures. I felt I was in a death spiral, overwhelmed with the responsibilities that Grandmother-hood had endowed upon me, losing my mother, the stress of financing a wedding, along with my all- -encompassing umpire schedules leaving me exhausted, I slipped back into my victim mentality, allowing myself to feel powerless and making excuses.
Snapping the cycle, and starting anew immediately in November, rather than waiting for the New Year, gives me my inner strength back, and the sense of worth that I had allowed to slip away as the pounds piled on. I'm now on my way back to my goal weight and though 30 pounds is a big number, it is nowhere near 143 pounds, thus making it quite do-able!
THANK YOU Spark People for helping me right the ship! You are, as always, my safety net! I would love to hear from others who have had a similar derailment of their journey, as I now know I'm not alone.
Thursday, January 03, 2013
Yesterday marked my 7 th year anniversary of healthy living. While I had a small blip over the past year or so, I'm proud to have reached this milestone with a renewed commitment to this lifestyle. I struggled to make sense of what had gone wrong, and until just the other day, I couldn't find an explanation. My recent worries about finances, made me realize that, contrary to my belief, I indeed did stress about things, and that stress caused me enough distress, to allow myself to seek comfort in food. Last year, while worrying about how we would pay for my daughters wedding, I did indeed look for unhealthy ways to deal with that stress. All these years, I believed I wasn't affected by stress, but now understand differently.
I now find myself in a place where I can recognize my triggers, and find other ways to deal with them. I'm going strong after six weeks of my re-start. I've been consistent with, exercise, and food, as well as tracking better, and participating more frequently on this site. I've lost 15 pounds and am beginning to see my body getting in better shape. It's a relief, and I'm proud of what I'm doing again. I still battle with my self-loathing issues, and find it difficult to forgive my slip-ups, but I'm at least able to see that for what it does to me.
I know this is an ongoing battle, but feel like I'm winning it again....even as I entEr my 7th year....
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