Sunday, January 15, 2012
I have known since Jan 2, 2006 that only I can make a choice to be healthy. I also learned along the way that it's important for me to acknowledge my difficulty putting my needs ahead of my family's. I adore my grandsons and treasure every minute I get to spend with them. Watching them grow on a regular basis, being there to kiss their boo-boos or snuggle them when they ar sick, gives me such a sense of worth and fills my heart with love. But, giving of myself to my son, for those boys made me once again, put myself down the list of importance. I'm not making an excuse, but instead I'm recognizing a character trait--one I share with all mothers, most certainly.
Understanding, and accepting this, is necessary for me to understand what I must do to continue on my path towards my goal. It's been a very good two weeks. I'm hopeful the scale represents the steps I've taken to right the ship. I've stayed on track with my food, (gotten my night time eating under control), exercised 12 out of 14 days (taking Sunday off), increased my activity during the day and gotten better sleep. No matter what the scale says, I know I've been successful in meeting the goals I've set for myself.
I read a friend's posts concerning obese people fighting a losing battle, more or less saying we regain the weight because of some chemical imbalance, or such, but I suggest that it's more emotions and mentality that put the pounds back on us. That piece that is broken inside, the one that can never really give us permission to matter, that's possibly irrevocable and may always require constant attention and conviction. I know that personally, this is true.
Friday, January 06, 2012
I know now, more than ever, that it sometimes takes, a deep look inside to realize that it's easy to find an excuse. I thought I had learned that lesson, and could recognize the problem when it presented itself. But, I fell into that trap again. It's so easy to find whys to explain away one's mistakes. But, the truth is, you don't feel good, or whole, if you allow yourself to believe those inexcusable words of failure. 'Excuses are the tools with which persons with no purpose in view build for themselves great monuments of nothing.' ~Steven Grayhm; I seemed to have forgotten that, and gave myself permission to feel sorry for myself, and to give into bad choices. The choice to eat out of my calorie count, or skip workouts, and yes there were often mitigating circumstances, but there is always a solution to a tough problem if you want to find it badly enough.
I look deeply inside and see a person who has always prefered avoidance, as a way to solve difficult situations, I bury my true feelings in order to protect myself from disappointment or hurt, or to keep others from the same. I understand that, and know that 2011 tested me, time and time again, and I got knocked down a little bit, and yes, I faltered, but I've landed on my feet again, and have turned, once again, to SP as my safety.
I started logging-in and joined a challenge, (and as usual, I've received so much support from the many good Spark People) I've made arrangements with my sweet husband to stay with the babies, so I could get to the gym-and I made it there 4 days doing strength 3 days, spin 3 day, and a treadmill workout on Tuesday night.SP allows me to see the obstacles that other people are faced with, and how they are overcoming things that I could never imagine. So, I see that things for me, are not as bleak, as I had allowed myself to think....time to make a choice to appreciate what is good in my life, and put the rest in perspective...thank you Spark Friends.
Over the next year (and beyond) I look forward to not only achieving my own goals, but also, in helping others who are struggling to reach their own!
My W-Th-F are consumed with taking care of my grandsons, so I may not always post/track here, but be assured I will return, when time allows.
Wednesday, January 04, 2012
Ive had a very stressful year, and have not dealt with it wery well. I've somehow lost my voice-that inner voice that tells me I matter! That voice that gives me permission to put myself first. When I was locked-in, there was nothing that I would allow to get in the way of my gym time. There was no mindless snacking or excessive calorie intake--that voice would always stop me. But where did that voice go? How could I be so immersed in my healthy journey for so long (4 years), and then slowly watch some (thankfully, not all) healthy habits slip by the wayside? My life was very organized and simple, I was the focus; I put myself first. My time was my own, and I had no other responsibility but to workout and eat right. Then I became a grandparent...one of .the happiest days of my life! But subsequently, I became a babysitter, three days a week--and now care for two grandsons...I held on for the first year, but my gym time dwindled, until it came grinding to a halt in October. I learned very quickly how exhausting it can be to chase after a toddler(s), and I gave into that fatigue instead of fighting through.
I am hearing that voice again, it has begun as a faint whisper, and will continue to grow as I start(re-start) forming healthy habits again....I plan on making it scream at the top of its lungs forever more! I'm finding a way to fight for that voice to be heard again over those old self-doubts!
Hears to making 2012 (my 6th anniversary) mirror 2006!
Monday, January 02, 2012
Today is the official 6th anniversary of my weight loss journey! I've had a difficult year, and lost some of my healthy habits, but I'm still here and have recommitted to this journey.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Even though I'm totally dragging right now, I've stuck to my gym routine. Still on track for the week and will combine legs with back along with spin class in order to complete week two of the workout plan I'm currently using.
Tuesday and Wednesday are my baby-sitting days with the boys ( my grandsons-6 months and twenty-two months old), add in running to Philly to see my dad at the hospital and it equals massive tiredness!
Muddling through....definitely glad to be sticking to the gym routine...even if my muscles are complaining quite loudly today
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