Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Ok, I'm really wishing the snow would cease and desist already!! Enough is enough...this morning it took me 15 minutes to dig the car out so I could get to the gym. Could have lived without that--but so glad I drug myself out of bed and made it there. There were only 4 people there...predictions are that tomorrow will be even worse...hoping that a. the gym is open, and b. I can get there...
Why must I have such swings? Yesterday, I was flying high all day long...I left the gym feeling so pumped and energized. Then today, even after spin class, I'm having a down day. Yes I know that I have a choice and that it's up to me to find the good, but today that just seems to take more energy than I'm willing to expend...why? I know I'll find my way out of this but for now, I'm in a mini-funk.
OK went away from this for a while and I'm feeling much better...was just looking through some old family photos and realized how truly lucky and blessed I am...also saw a bunch of old photos of myself from years past and am sooo pleased with the difference between then and now. It puts things into perspective and makes me realize that perfection is unattainable and something that I certainly keep striving for, even though I know I'll never get there...I should instead look at all the changes I've made and understand how far I've come. Losing the negative imagery and the self-deprecation, I thought I had gotten beyond that over the past 5 years, but find that it still lives deep within and rears its ugly head all too often. But looking at pictures from over the years I am really amazed at where I am compared to days gone by. "It's very important to be kind to yourself. You are doing the right things, don't get discouraged!!! This is the mantra I will repeat to myself when I start hearing those negative voices.....
Monday, January 24, 2011
So last week was such a good week that I was sure to see that reflected on the scale this morning...but, it wasn't to be. I know that I had a full intestine and that had an affect, but still I thought it would be better....I have a couple of possible reasons for this disappointing occurrence; 1. I've not eaten enough calories for the amount of exercise that I burned 2. Somehow my recorded calorie count is not accurate (unlikely since I measured all snacks and meals with the exception of dinner-my husband makes me a platter). I'm going to work on eating enough calories this week, continue to measure my food and do my gym workouts, and see if the loss is better next week. If not, I'm going to have to increase my cardio....
I'm not certain I would not have gone of the deep end, if I wasn't actively participating on SP again. I'm able to remain positive and understand what could be going on. Spark people keeps me accountable and provides me te tools I need to understand the process better. Yes, I have been through the process and succeeded before, but there is always something to be learned each and every day. Staying positive and believing in the process are important to having the proper mindset that allows success. Knowing that the scale is not the only measurement of success, as SP reminds us, was my solace this morning as I dressed in a pair of pants that were previously too tight and was happy to find they fit much better now, an affirmation that I am making progress, even if not reflected on the scale. These small successes will all amount to the reaching of my goal.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
I just finished a total butt-kicking spin class, precluded by 45 minutes of weight training....and all of this at the end of a day that saw me wake at 6:00, got over my sons to help my D-I-L with my two beautiful grandsons, ages 16 months and 2 1/2 weeks...and spending 2 hours with my mother (who is having a really bad week) while my dad ran some errands--then back to my son's for another hour...
A month ago, that would have thrown me into a tailspin that saw me come home and jump in my recliner with my computer for the rest of the day - dozing off occasionally with the TV on for background noise! Days like this when I find reasons to get my workout in, instead of excuses not to, make me feel amazing! I'm tracking my food, and exercise daily, and feel in total control of my nutrition plan. But most of all, I can see my body getting back into shape again...I have a way to go, yet, but I'm on-track. feeling motivated and encouraged by the changes I've made to date.
I'm using my daughter's wedding - May 5, 2012 - as my ultimate goal, but I'm really doing this for me - again - I need this more than anything right now. I also remind myself, on occasion, how proud it made my mother for me to get into such good shape, and I couldn't forgive myself if I threw that all away, in light of her illness. Also, my D-I-L (all my children really) has been such a supporter of my efforts, and past successes, and would feel horrible if I lost my way, because of babysitting her son(s). It's really good to think about the bigger picture, it helps to stay the course....
I had earlier, posted a blog, concerning my husband as a member of my gym, and my pondering if this would interfere with what I normally do in the gym...happy to say, that we are doing great, and I'm proud of his efforts, and more or less, do our own thing at the gym....and it's very helpful knowing we both are traveling this path together now.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
A positive attitude can shed new light on our life and what we can accomplish! Something as simple as a smile and a positive attitude can change the outcome of our goals? In spin class yesterday I found myself just smiling, enjoying the music and the sweat and when I would start to feel fatigued, I'd just keep saying "I can" over and over until I forgot I was getting tired. The more positive your outlook – the more you will start to believe in yourself and that confidence will spill into all of your daily activities. No negative thoughts...if something negative pops in my head I just replace it with a can-do statement. I read yesterday that in order to keep your exercise and fitness goals, mentally prepare yourself by believing you enjoy the workout and can't wait to get to it...that really does work. I had allowed myself for the past nine months or so, to think of the work outs as fatiguing, instead of focusing on how good it feels to actually get in there and sweat....now I tell myself I'm looking forward to it, and it helps tremendously...what a powerful tool our mind is!
Somehow I had slipped back into the "powerless" mode that had found me at 299 pounds on Jan 2, 2006. Little by little I would give myself to have too much of this or that, and skip workouts here or there, when I knew it was detrimental to my staying fit and healthy. All the things I had done to get to 150 lbs I was now dismissing, thinking I could handle it, or it wouldn't matter, but truth be told, they all are important! Logging into SP, getting weighed regularly, tracking food, and exercise, writing in a journal, keeping serving sizes, etc. Each has a place in staying the course of a healthy life. In the beginning when I was working out hard, plus doing umpiring, extra snacks (trail mix, power bars) all seemed reasonable and didn't have an immediate impact on my weight. But, little by little a pound here, a pound there, coupled with an injury, 3 days of watching a infant/toddler, and taking care of my parents, and bingo, I've now got 25+ pounds to lose again! Getting back seemed difficult, but really, it was as simple as refusing to be a victim (and of course getting my days back while my DIL is home with my two grandsons--but only until April)--of bad choices, of negative talk, of letting life handle me! When I'm in the moment I can recognize what I need to do, and I am in that moment now. I started somewhat slowly the first week, but now I'm almost completely back up to speed and it feels great!
I am not a victim! I have the power to take and keep control! Say it, believe it, live it!!!!
Monday, January 17, 2011
"Happiness does not come from doing easy work but from the afterglow of satisfaction that comes after the achievement of a difficult task that demanded our best."
I had such a wonderful morning at the gym! A great weight training session followed by a very good spin class of 60 minutes! On the drive home my mood was sky-high partially due to the exercise endorphins, but also due to the self-satisfaction I felt for a job well-done. I lost another 2.2 pounds, which is good, but more importantly, I'm so much happier now that I'm back on track. The self-loathing has vanished, and instead is replaced by a self-appreciation of the fact that I've lived up to my own expectations. Certainly, it's only been 16 days since I re-committed to my healthy way of life, and it's not been as difficult as I had envisioned. Which always begs the question: Why did I put it off so long? If I had the answer to that, I would certainly be able to cash in on a goldmine. Obviously, that first step is the hardest, but most important, and I think motivation grows as your commitment continues. Spark People is, of course, at the heart of these successes. There is a definite correlation between daily logging in, tracking food and exercise, and success in sticking to/reaching weight loss goals. Finding this site 5 years ago was important, but continuing to utilize all of SP's tools, has even more importance in stopping a spiral that could have led back to a life of inactivity and obesity! I'm beyond grateful for Spark People and continue to sing the praises of this site! Love to all my Spark Friends, old and new, their comments and encouragement are priceless!
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