Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Went to the 6:00 spin class!!!! WhooHoo for me! Today I had an unexpected blip in my scheduled gym time--yet I didn't allow it to keep me from getting my cardio. I would have just skipped today after throwing my hands in the air and blaming circumstances for keeping me from doing what I must to achieve my goals. But as I learned previously, I'm capable of making a choice to keep living a healthy lifestyle, and I'm able to do that regardless of what occurs. I had an awesome spin class tonight, and even had an extra bonus of running into(and spinning next to) one of my favorite umpire friends!
I also spent quality time with my mother today who, btw, has had an amazing change since she met her new Great Grandson Jamison! God's newest little angel has somehow given his G.G. a reason to keep fighting! Everyday we have her here is a blessing and days like today, where she's "all" here, and not confused or highly medicated really are special....
Friday, January 07, 2011
Well I got it! Stinking stomach virus! Didn't make the gym today, or barely get out of bed...while I know it really was not possible, there is a part of me that is angry with myself a. for being so weak that I got sick, and b. that something already has derailed my new habits already! But, of course, that's my personality! I recently re-read one of my favorite sparkpeople's story and was reminded of a few things. She says this is about the journey, not the destination. I knew that, and believed that, but I think I let my own self-prophecy come true. I was living with the fear that I would gain the weight back, and while, I'm still down over 100 pounds, I have allowed myself to gain 31 pounds back over the past year. My sparkfriend Joanie, said she had to learn to love herself, and I thought I had, but it's amazing how quickly the self-loathing returns. Even at my thinnest I couldn't forgive myself, and was/am filled with regret for lost time. I kept saying I was living in the present and had stopped beating myself up, deep down I never did. there are plenty of things I could blame my current situation on, but the bottom line is I somehow decided I wasn't important enough. I allowed myself to get lost in the needs of my family. Recognizing and admitting this is a good first step, but I'm still not totally confident that I'm completely back...I won't know it for sure until I've hit the 3-6 week mark of sticking to my workouts. I feel very good about the food, proper serving size and limiting snacks--I was still eating healthy, just not in the proper servings...that's definitely part of the equation....I think today's missed workout is working on that confidence I had built--but it's still one day at a time, and hopefully tomorrow will find me recovered and if that's the case, I will be in the gym!
Just got this in a Healthy Reflections e-mail...seems perfect for me right now!
Shut out all of your past except that which will help you weather your tomorrows.
- William Osler, Canadian physician
Thursday, January 06, 2011
So today is a cardio day....small blip...jackson's mommy and daddy have a stomach bug...went ore there to take care of J while mom went to her OB appointment...I'm feeling very yucky - hoping to go for a thirty minute walk/run in a few minutes....good thing is I don't feel much like eating...didn't visit mother today for fear of spreading germs....
Went for my run/walk it felt great to get out in the fresh air....glad I went because snow is in tomorrows forecast....still feeling funky hoping not to get worse....
Wednesday, January 05, 2011
One of my difficulties over the past months has been getting my workouts in on the days I babysit my grandbaby Jackson. Since I need to be there by 6:45 in the a.m. my normal morning routine has not been possible, and thus my workouts on the days I babysit went from sporadic to non-existent. It's true that my energy is sapped by the time his mommy gets home at 3:00. However, today thanks to my DH, we made a gym date and we left immediately after my DIL got home from work. While it's not all that easy to generate the best workout at this time of day, and there are no spin classes scheduled then, I was able to get in 35 minutes of cardio and complete my pull-day workout. One big benefit was that I'm normally hungry and fighting against snacking around 3:30 and since I was working out, I avoided that dilemma.
Feeling better about myself because I'm finding the strength to do what I need to do--
Tuesday, January 04, 2011
I have to say that exercise has benefits that go far beyond physical health! It's amazing how getting myself back on track can help my mental well-being. Yes, I'm dealing on a daily basis with my mom--still hard, invades my thoughts day and night...but getting on that spin bike today, for 45 minutes, I could focus on me and what I need....it felt fantastic! I realized as I did the class, that having some time off has brought me back with a totally different attitude. Today's instructor isn't one of my favorites, but after taking her classes regularly for more than 3 years, had made me grow weary of her music, and methodology...but time away has brought me back with an open mind, and allowed me to really enjoy the class....
Other observations: I've given up diet soda over the past few days, and realize that drinking it makes me overeat. I've replaced it with green tea/water and found meself snacking less. Drinking water has helped dramatically, relieve my excessively itchy skin(due to dryness)....
Of course I knew these things before, but somehow, decided they weren't important...but it eels good to make them a habit again!
I've been writing my feelings down in a notebook, and that is very helpful with getting a grip on them. I know the days ahead will be difficult but I'm determined to keep on track with my healthy habits and thus keep my sanity!
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