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Making progress

Tuesday, January 04, 2011

I have to say that exercise has benefits that go far beyond physical health! It's amazing how getting myself back on track can help my mental well-being. Yes, I'm dealing on a daily basis with my mom--still hard, invades my thoughts day and night...but getting on that spin bike today, for 45 minutes, I could focus on me and what I need....it felt fantastic! I realized as I did the class, that having some time off has brought me back with a totally different attitude. Today's instructor isn't one of my favorites, but after taking her classes regularly for more than 3 years, had made me grow weary of her music, and methodology...but time away has brought me back with an open mind, and allowed me to really enjoy the class....

Other observations: I've given up diet soda over the past few days, and realize that drinking it makes me overeat. I've replaced it with green tea/water and found meself snacking less. Drinking water has helped dramatically, relieve my excessively itchy skin(due to dryness)....

Of course I knew these things before, but somehow, decided they weren't important...but it eels good to make them a habit again!

I've been writing my feelings down in a notebook, and that is very helpful with getting a grip on them. I know the days ahead will be difficult but I'm determined to keep on track with my healthy habits and thus keep my sanity!

  


Day 1

Sunday, January 02, 2011

Sunday morning workout completed. 25 minutes of intervals on the treadmill. and an hour of strength training! I'm starting small and making sure to begin a new habit. It's frightening to me how quickly I became derailed! The long and short of it is that I've allowed too many things to take my focus off of me. One missed day leads to two missed days, which leads to feeling tired and sluggish, and the cycle begins....but now I'm forcing myself to get re-focused. With all the madness that lays ahead of me, I know this is my ticket to sanity. I will get a break from my regular babysitting days in a week or two when my second grandson is born and my DIL has her maternity leave. Though it will be hard not spending 3 days with my precious Jackson, I know it will help me to get back on track. My husband will be my new partner in this journey, which can be helpful with giving me that first step out the door in the morning. I know their are potential problems, but I must remember to make this about me! While I want to help him also succeed, but I can't put him before myself. I must do what works for me. I am very excited for him though, because I know this will help him control his diabetes.

Every day is a choice, and I'm making the choice to get healthy and fit again. After all, I have a wedding on 5/5/2012 to prepare for...my daughter's wedding day! She became engaged to a wonderful man this past Thanksgiving eve. I feel guilty because me enthusiasm for this wonderful event is somewhat dampered by the impeding loss of my mother. It's so hard knowing that she will die, sooner, rather than later. Why do we have to know this? I've never been a person who likes to face such things head-on. I'm learning that I like to evade things, however that can be done, that's what I do. It's not a healthy thing, I suppose, and perhaps is partially the reason for my recent backslide. I know that my emotions have indeed been ruling my life of late. I'm determined to take that control back. I'm not going to bury my feelings, but instead, I'm writing them down. I started this on NYE when I had another breakdown over the prospect of never having another NYE with my mother here on earth. It was a repeat performance from CE and Christmas day, and really the past 2 weeks. But just simply writing down what I felt, somehow eased that pain. My husband has been my rock and is such a wonderfully understanding man, but I find it sooo hard to put my feelings into words. I know he understands and wants to help me with this burden, but I just hold back and have been holding it all in...no more...today is the beginning of that change....

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRECECOOKS 1/5/2011 12:25PM

    I am so sorry to hear of your mom's imminent passing, but glad to see you grabbing the reins and dealing, not escaping into food. Lovely to hear of your daughter's impending marriage, and a new grandbaby.

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7WORSHIPS 1/4/2011 12:25PM

  emoticonSorry to hear about your mother. I will keep both of you in my prayers.

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RACKETMOM 1/4/2011 11:05AM

    I am so sorry for what you're going through! I lost my mom 15 years ago (brain tumor) and I know it is really tough! But I also know you WILL get through it & will be stronger for it! Continue to lean on others, it can help so much! And leaning on the God of All Comfort will see you through too!!
This will be another area of your life that will help others on their journeys-you never know when a few words will be just what they need to hear!

I'm praying for you today & in the days ahead!
Oh, and congrats on your daughter's wedding-how exciting!!
emoticon

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MSCHREF 1/2/2011 2:23PM

    I'm sorry about to hear about your mother. What you say about letting your emotions rule your life of late - that's so easy to do! I think it's also part of being human. Half the battle is just recognizing it. I'm feeling derailed, myself, these days and your blog has helped me to remember to make taking care of myself the important thing. Thank you and hang in there! You have a lot of courage - Martha

Comment edited on: 1/2/2011 2:24:13 PM

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Happy new year: Year 5

Saturday, January 01, 2011

On the eve of my five year anniversary, I find myself in a scary place. Since sept. 20th of this past year I've been in a downward slide. This was precipitated by the diagnosis of my mother's lung cancer. Due to her weakened health from other smoking related diseases, she's unable to undergo treatment and is dying right before my eyes. I've allowed this to derail me from my goal and am now looking to regain my way and lose the twenty plus pounds vie gained over this time.

Here's to that renewed effort and success!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRECECOOKS 1/5/2011 12:26PM

    Standing with you, shoulder-to-shoulder. I am sorry for the pain you're enduring, and your mother's suffering. May God keep you both in the palm of His hand.

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Cheating

Saturday, February 27, 2010

As I'm watching the morning news, I hear that a Chinese gymnast from the 2000 summer Olympics was actually too young to compete as was suspected. That makes me see how often cheating occurs. If it happens at thee Olympics then where does it stop? And of course, I'm not just talking about sports....the worst cheat however is the one we do to ourselves. During my recent Dr. Oz experience, one of the very successful weight loss guest stated "we all cheat occasionally." My DH who was with me at the show immediately cringed knowing that would make me crazy. Anyone who has read my blogs over the years knows I'm adamantly, against the idea that we cannot live without giving into our old eating habits and indulging in decadent foods. I eliminated many foods from diet 4 years ago, and I can honestly say those foods are still banished and not missed! Any suggestion that it can't be done is merely continuing to allow ourselves to be victims of and controlled by food. Haven't we all decided to change our lifestyle? Change, means adapting and accepting a new way of doing, and that has to mean we are capable of giving up those things that we found to be bad for our health and weight.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CYD1057 6/16/2010 8:35AM

  I haven't stopped by your page in a long time, but I am always inspired by your insight! I am embroiled in a community issue in my fair city right now, and the cheating and dishonesty that is going on is, well, discouraging, at the very least. (Many words come to mind!) But the core of the matter is, as you note above, a matter of integrity - including whether or not you choose to be a victim. Giving up certain foods and indulgences is the only way to grab the Health Tiger by the tail, and I am still grappling with this reality. The voice that moans "Say it ain't so! And just a cheat day won't hurt'" is loud, even if I know it is lying. Staying the course takes fortitude and is difficult, but I agree with you that it is the only way! Thanks for your post.

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GETFITTER7 2/28/2010 11:02AM

    Cheating whether it is known or not to others, these cheaters are hurting themselves in the long run...it will not get them ahead. emoticon

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happiness

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

A great obstacle to happiness is expecting too much

- Bernard de Fontanelle, French writer

Understanding happiness

Happiness is a state of mind, not a way of life or a destination that you'll reach one day. Bumps in the road of life are to be expected, and we cannot let them ruin our days. We often think that if a combination of factors would just fall into place THEN we would finally be happy. Satisfaction can only come from within, through truly accepting yourself, your life, and your circumstances. During this life you'll have many hard days--long work days, sleepless nights, worrying about the future, etc. This week, think about the joys of your life. Find creative ways to enjoy the little bumps in the road.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GYPSYGOTH 2/24/2010 10:39AM

    oooh i like that. one of my favorite sayings has always been "to avoid chronic disappointment, lower your expectations." i try to do this with other people, especially-- don't expect them to be perfect and it won't be so bad when they are (invariably) not! same with yourself ;)

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MARYHANNA 2/24/2010 9:56AM

    Thanks for the reminder!

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FLEMIDG 2/23/2010 11:39PM

    What a great way to think. Thank you.

Darlene


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