Thursday, May 07, 2009
I've spent the entire day (and most of last night) thinking this is something that will heal on it's own. I've waffled between thinking, "it's feeling better", to "why is it so painful? What is going on?" and finding reasons not to go to the doctor. I'm confused because Im not sure there's anything they can do for me. If I knew they could "treat" me and make it better without looking at surgery, I guess I would have already been there...along with that thought process, I'm freaking out--two days without cardio, I feel like a fraud, like I'm not an athlete, like everything is going to be hard and take so long to get back to where I was. I feel beaten like I've failed and that I'm giving in. I hate it!
Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.
Wednesday, May 06, 2009
two days of getting through the entire spin class, today I couldn't even get on the bike! I lifted my chest and back before and I had the knee brace on, but when I finished after going up the stairs and back down, I could barely stand on that leg, and still am having difficulty bearing weight on that leg...so my spin friend wisely told me to not push it, that I needed to be smart. So here I sit with ice on the knee hoping it will feel well enough for me to do my game(s) today.
Knowing I didn't get my cardio, I'm restricting my calorie intake in order to make up for the calories I didn't burn.
Look at a man in the midst of doubt and danger and you will learn in his hour of adversity what he really is.
- Lucretius, Roman philosopher
Do you really know what you're made of?
It's easy to stay true to our values when life is sunny. But because sometimes hope disappears, options run out, and bright days can turn dark, all you can really count on to be there is your own inner strength. These low points are chances to learn what you're capable of when you refuse to be knocked down for good. You may not be able to choose your hardships or options. But you do have the power to face what you're given with high character. Trust yourself and your instincts, and your best will come forward. Think about the last time you had the choice to fold under pressure or to rise to the occasion. How might you have handled it a little differently? If there's room for improvement, what actions would have made you more proud of yourself?
I'm trying hard not to fold, actually, I know I won't fold, because I know that I have the character to endure this bump in the road.
Friday, May 01, 2009
Well, today I was back at the gym. I did my back/bicep workout and then gave spin class a try. I made it for the first 40 minutes, but couldn't do any of the standing climbs and after 40 minutes even with the knee brace, I had to stop because it hurt too much. I did my game in the afternoon, even though it was raining. Tomorrow I have 3 games now, as my high school morning game got canceled. That of course all depends upon the weather co-operates.
We should consider every day lost in which we have not danced at least once.
- Nietzsche, philosopher
Finding and celebrating the joy in life
Each day is a new chance to find joy and to dance. If you let it pass or think it useless, the chance is gone and you'll never get it back. When was the last time you played? Or just did something for the sheer fun of it? Joy is not found in the world around you, it's within yourself. You can make your own joy, especially during those dark times when you need to really feel alive again. Fun and play are healthy antidotes to taking life--and ourselves--too seriously. They're proven boosters of immune systems and mental health and make life worth the trouble. So do the twist. Sing in the shower. Learn a magic trick. Watch a cartoon. Challenge some kids to a game. Don't let a single day go to waste.
Since I've wasted far too many days in the past, I plan to dance everyday and find a reason to smile and enjoy every moment.
Finding my way back to this point took too long and I don't plan to waste anymore time. I guess that's one reason it kills me so much to not be able to workout to my fullest. It feels like a missed opportunity and wasted time. But, if it means I can heal and get back to full speed sooner, than I'll learn to accept it.
It has taken a long time to reprogram myself to the point where I enjoy eating healthy and working out, but I know that I've done just that and therefore, I'm confident I'll continue to succeed.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Well, missing two spin classes this week is really crummy. This morning I woke up and the swelling in the knee was so bd that I couldn't bend it past 45 degrees and even that was a struggle. Climbing the stairs and even getting in the shower was difficult. I'm icing it for the 3rd time today and hopefully the swelling will subside enough that I'll make it to spin tomorrow. Fridays is a lifting day and I have to do back and biceps so I'm going in either way. I have a game this afternoon and fortunately I have behind the plate and won't have to run too much, I'll definitely be wearing a brace on the knee. If I hadn't forgotten to put it on yesterday, I wouldn't be in this situation!!
Setbacks happen and finding a way to endure and not get off track are meant as a test and I'm able to pass those tests now. Perhaps I would have used this as an excuse to slip back into bad habits in the past, but now I know I'm stronger than that. One of my SP friends suggested that I might be fearful that skipping a session to rest the injury will send me back to my past sloth like ways, truth is I'm petrified that I might get too comfortable away from the gym and even afraid of losing my fitness level. I try to keep that fear deep inside and use it to motivate myself, but it's always there. I'm not sure there will ever be a day that I don't think about back-sliding and what the consequences of that would be, but in some ways that may be a good thing. If it keeps me climbing on the scale and eating healthy then that's a positive effect.
"The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can't find them, make them." George Bernard Shaw
ake a moment to look at the circumstances of your world. Is it what you want to see? What could you do differently to take one step closer to your ideal vision? Weíre all dealt different hands in life. Thatís how things are. To change things, you have to first accept that fact, then figure out where to go from here. We should all be able to count on each other for help, but in the end, we canít expect anyone to change our lives except ourselves. Nor should we want it that way. Itís easy to feel powerless and give up in the face of hardships. Complaining and blaming do nothing except prevent action. Without positive action, youíre giving up your power and asking for more of the same Ė a world you did not create. Where you start may not be your fault, but the course you run is still your choosing.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.
- John Wooden, Hall of Fame college basketball coach
Believing In Yourself
Limitations can either define us or give us a challenge to outwit. When you look at your abilities, do you see boundaries and limits, or do you see possibilities and potential? Obsessing about weaknesses can blind us to the untapped abilities we already have. You have talent. Everyone does. The secret to success is to find that talent, develop it and push it as far as you can. Grandma Moses might have been a lousy bowler, Einstein probably couldn't sing a lick, Michelangelo could've been unable to speak well in public. So what? They knew what they were good at and rode that pony. Your talent might be right in front of you: where do you get the most compliments? What seems to come easily to you? What do people ask your advice for? Live there. Don't let the rest get in the way.
Finding out what you're capable of is one of the most important lessons of this journey. Learning it isn't always easy but essential to success. Finding the power within and removing all self-built barriers gives us the power to win the battle.
Today, I got my spin class in all 60 minutes, I kept the resistance lower than normal and did what I could without feeling any pain. In the end I got the workout in. I did skip the leg workout with squats and leg presses etc. in order to minimize the added stress on my leg. Also did my softball game today. Unfortunately, I got hit on that knee with a pitch...not pretty!
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