Friday, January 04, 2008
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What a cool thing to find in my e-mail this morning! I take this as a great compliment and thank those of you who feel I've inspired you in some way.
From the beginning of this journey it was all about me. I felt like that was the only way I was going to succeed-focus on me. When you are a mom of 5 and have been married for 31 years you sort of lose focus of yourself. You become "Mom" or "wife" and lose "Diane", but by being a bit selfish for the first time in my life, I've been able to do what I set out to do. And although I'm not quite at my goal, I can say that I feel very blessed to be able to share my experience and hopefully help other people. I will never forget the feeling of helplessness and dispair I felt at 299 pounds. I do hope that at some point I won't feel the need to define myself by that, but if one person can find their way by using me as an example of what's possible, than I've gained so much more than a new body from all this!
Today was an awesome day at the gym(they are all mostly awesome anyway)! I tweeked my lifting program a bit today, and can feel that amazing feeling in my muscles as I sit here and type! There really are very few things in life that give me that much enjoyment and feelings of utopia! Then after the weight lifting, my spin class was really great. The instructor did a few things differently (I think she's trying to get herself back in pre-holiday shape) and it was a really awesome workout. I thanked her after class and told her how good it was and she was really glad to hear that.
So, the rest of my day will be gravy because I had such a wonderful start. Anytime I feel like not going to the gym, I just draw on the memory of how I feel right now, and know that I just need to get in the car and get to the gym and I can feel this way again!!!
Hope we all have a wonderful weekend (I know I will as my son and his new wife are coming home from their honeymoon and will have plenty of pictures and stories to share)! I will have to take down all those Xmas decorations, but I'm ready for a fresh and uncluttered look around here!
Thursday, January 03, 2008
Last night we dipped into the teens and the wind-chill is really something again today. But, just pile on another layer and get to gettin...Went to the gym and tried a little something different today. There is one instructor who's class I dispise. It's mostly just sitting and going all out with little tension. It's boring and it makes me want to slack off because it's too much sitting and speed. So, today I went in about 20 minutes early and started my on my own before class. I then changed things up whenever she was doing the frenetic sitting/speed stuff. I added jumps or combinations of 8-6-2's (your down for 8 then up for 8 back in 3rd for 8 etc.)I had a much better ride and burned more calories in the process.
An oddity also occurred as it seems I'm getting my first TOM since March 2007! WTF!!! I was thrilled to be done with that, so I'm hoping it's very abbreviated and then goes away for 9 months or forever! Another interesting thing about menopause; it seems that the studies that show complications from the big M are eliminated or minimized significantly by daily exercise are correct. Over the past 9 months I've had little to no side-effects so that's a really good thing. I just want to be done with this whole thing. After all, I've paid my dues with the 5 children I've bore.
I'm feeling very good about myself today in the realization that not only have I reached the 2 year mark, but I'm still going strong with the same intensity as I had in the beginning. Other than marriage and of course, motherhood, I don't think I've been this committed to anything for such a long time. I think that's something to be proud of and I'm glad I'm able to recognize that and give myself kudos. Before I began this journey, I wouldn't have been able to do that. I couldn't see beyond the weight I was carrying and as far as I was concerned I was basically a big 0!
I get very concerned and offended by things I see involving woman and weight. First, it bothers me beyond belief that those of us in the obese range, are led to believe that the only way we can ever get our bodies back is to have surgery, or use some supplement, or other quick fix. It's just one more way for us to be victimized and forced to feel like failures. Also, I'm all about woman loving and appreciating their bodies and resisting the images of perfection set by pencil thin actesses and models. I'm a mother of three daughters and I've always wanted them to have good self-images that aren't based on their appearances. Having said that, it's also very insulting when woman who are obviously overweight or obese, are shown on TV railing against those images and telling girls and women that they should accept themselves as they are...great concept except that carrying extra weight around is UNHEALTHY! It's like the smoker who refuses to quit, even with all the overwhelming proof of all the dangers of continuing the habit. So, what do I think the answer is? Well, as I've always tried to impress upon my daughters; you are more than your looks or body, you have many values totally unrelated to them find those values and cherish them, but also understand that exercise and good nutrition are what will allow you to be around to enjoy those and all life's treasures! We don't do crash-or extreme diets (no diets at all) we live and eat healthy and actively.
Sorry, if this is so long, but lately TV's been filled with all sorts of this stuff and it's been bugging me!
Let's all think positively about ourselves and continue to do the things we need to do in order to live long and have quality days!
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
Today is a milestone for me - 2 years since I started my journey to get healthy and fit - and it's given me some time to think about motivation and how I've sustained it for this long.
What I realize is that I finally got past the "wanting" to lose weight phase and moved to the "do something good for yourself" phase. Always before I just wanted to lose weight. I hoped that just wanting it would make it happen. I thought I wasn't strong enough or good enough to actually do it. In fact, when I started I didn't really believe this time would be any different than the 30 or 40 other times I tried to lose weight. And you see there's another failure word; "tried" you can't try you have to do. So, where did the motivation come from? It started out that I was doing this for my husband, to help him control his type 2 diabetes by eating properly. But it didn't take long for my motivation to change and become about making me a better person. Learning to take control over food and win the battle, learning to love what my body could do physically in the gym or outside in the elements. I began to find daily joy in finding my strength. And as I realized my capabilities (and that they are endless) I began to set loftier goals, and plan farther into my future.
I think we all look for motivation from outside factors, getting in shape for a wedding, or reunion, fitting into a certain pair of jeans, etc. but those are all fleeting moments in our lives. Our motivation would wane if we got into the jeans or the wedding passed, but if it's about ourselves, and how amazing we can be, and finding that wonderment everyday, than we will sustain it to "infinity and beyond" as they say in Toy Story!
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
Well, I've reached what I consider to be an amazing milestone! 2 years of healthy eating and exercise...I never really thought I could sustain such a program for this amount of time. However, I fully understand that this is now a lifestyle that I cannot veer from. I know I can do that now.
I realize that exercise is not a dreaded chore, but instead a way for me to relax and focus on my wellbeing. Whether on the treadmill, spin-bike, or outdoors running or walking, my thoughts and energy are all about making my body stronger and better. Exercise is a way to clear away any bad or depressing thoughts and lose myself for however long I need to in the exercise, and when I'm through, whatever was bothering me before, seems so insignificant and unimportant. Who knew that exercise, not food, could do that for me?
2008 is going to be the year that I reach that elusive number of 145 pounds. I know that I can do it, even though it's harder now, because there is less to lose, I know what I need to do in order to get there and I'm willing to do it.
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Saturday, my day off...I've done extremely well this last week, which is not easy considering that we've been to my sister's house and she has more goodies than you could imagine. I must say that I found that food no longer has a hold on me. I wasn't tempted even once(even while I was baking)to taste any of the cookies or even lick a spoon or bowl. I feel like I've won the battle, though I understand I'll always fight this war, this is a personal victory for me.
I'm still amazed that it will be 2 years in a few days. Having sustained this for that long proves to me that I'm capable of anything.
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