Sunday, August 05, 2007
Well, today is the beginning of a new week. I can't believe how fast summer has flown by! My kids are all getting ready to return to college, and my oldest son and his fiancee are preparing to move out into their own place on the 22nd(they get married Dec. 1). I'm feeling kind of conflicted about the whole thing. My son has always been such a joy to have around and he always makes me smile. I know I'm going to miss him horribly. I know that they all do grow up and leave the nest sometime, but I've gotten used to having him around, and it's a bit scary thinking of him moving on to this new phase of his life, mainly because, it means I'm really getting old and moving on to a new phase as well. I've had days recently where I think, why am I killing myself and pushing so hard at this? I'm never going to have the body I want. I'll always be stuck with extra skin and of course the more wieght I lose the more wrinkles I get (and less boobs). So what's the point? I'm getting old so why not just accept that? This was my thought process during spinning class Friday. It's really been a struggle for me to find my purpose lately. I know I can do this, and I really want to do it, I'm just in a bad place lately. I'm still staying with the program, I just seem to have lost my buring desire.
Monday, July 30, 2007
Well Monday's are a real kick in the pants for me day. I start with my lifting program at 8:00 am then I go to the 55 minute spin class and finish with an hour of yoga! Whew...any wonder I fall asleep sitting on the patio while reading my book? But it's a really good kind of tired, I know that I've done so much good for my body and mind that I can just enjoy sitting and reading(and catching a Z or two). I'm happy to report that I'm down another 2 pounds as I weighed-in at 150.2 this morning! I'm now just a mere 5.2 pounds from my goal of 145! That's a total loss of 148.8 pounds!!
So I'm giving myself a reward of a manicure and pedicure tomorrow, which also, happens to be the day before my 52 birthday...August 1...so I'm going to spend Wednesday at the beach and enjoy my day, then go out to Hibachi Grill with my family for some sushi.
Like Martha Graham, who said that "The body is a sacred garment. It's your first and last garment; it is what you enter life in and what you depart life with, and it should be treated with honor," In the Garden of Eden, eating was modeled as one of life's most pleasurable experiences. But then Eve took a bite out of that apple (so much for the low calorie, low fat, high fiber theory), and women (and men) have been at war with food ever since. Are your weight issues really a symptom of something else--boredom, depression, regret, or rejection? At the root of many issues is our self-loathing at worst, our self-indifference at best. Food is not the enemy. We are. Break the cycle of dieting and replace it with loving yourself enough to make good choices about your diet. Examine your eating habits this week. Are you honoring your body with your food choices? How can you love yourself back to a healthy relationship with eating? Take steps towards defeating the natural compulsion or craving that might take you down a path of regretful eating. Remember the sacredness of your own skin.
I do now remember the sacredness and appreciate my body so much more. Of course loving myself is a daily struggle but I'm working on it.
Saturday, July 28, 2007
Well, today I had a make-up day at the gym. Friday, my usual day, I went to the beach. So, I pushed everything to today, which is really better because I love the spin instructor who teaches Saturdays. Her class is an hour and she really kicks your butt! I did a very good lift today and realized that I could lift heavier due to having one extra day between lifts. I had a wierd week for me, since I went golfing on Thursday and walked all 18 holes, and didn't do any other cardio for the day, then skipped Friday. I guess being able to adapt is a sign that I can deal with life and still stay fit and healthy. After all, finding ways to be active and do something physical, is all part of the program in order to live healthy for the rest of my life. It's also good to just do something a bit different so that mentally I stay fresh and not bored.
I found this on the web site and felt it was worth saving to my blogs so I can read it frequently: Happiness is a state of mind, not a way of life or a destination that you'll reach one day. Bumps in the road of life are to be expected, and we cannot let them ruin our days. We often think that if a combination of factors would just fall into place THEN we would finally be happy. Satisfaction can only come from within, through truly accepting yourself, your life, and your circumstances. During this life you'll have many hard days--long work days, sleepless nights, worrying about the future, etc. This week, think about the joys of your life. Find creative ways to enjoy the little bumps in the road.
For all of my yesterdays I kept waiting for something to help me lose weight, as if there was something outside of me that could make it happen. The truth is that I'm the only one who can do this, and finding the power to do it has given me so much strength and self-esteem. It's as if I was just wading through life before and now I'm swimming with all I've got!
Monday, July 23, 2007
Well, Mondays are a test of wills for me now. I start at the gym at 7:30 do my weight training, than 50 minutes of spinning(of which today our instructor was the devil I swear!), than proceed to yoga class(which one would think is easy, but you would be thinking wrong!). I finally arrive back home around 12:30. While it sounds a bit overwhelming, I definately enjoy the challenge and appreciate the different disciplines needed to do all three programs. Also, the yoga really helps with tightness, I woke this morning with a twinge in my lower back and was happy to see it was gone after yoga class.
I'm still at the 152 weight, and realize if I'm to move past it, I have to be stricter with my food. So, starting today, I'm going to eat "cleaner" and see how that works for me.
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