Saturday, February 23, 2013
Just finished the first week of the second part of my 8 week workout I've been doin. It's awesome because many of the exercises are ones I avoid doing, because they push me harder. I'm sitting here, post Saturday workout feeling awesome, a little sore, but awesome! I feel stronger, and I'm definitely seeing big changes in my body. I've been back on track since early November, 4 months now....no missed workouts, and my diet is back to feeling like second nature. It's a good feeling, knowing I'm back and focused. I wish I had never strayed, but, I did so now, I have to learn from the past failings, and put those lessons into good, positive actions. Things like weekly weigh-ins, are imperative to staying accountable. Planning ahead for dealing with days when I must eat on the run, especially during busy softball tournaments where I'm on the field all day, and of course, hitting the gym with a planned workout, that takes out the chance to ease up.
I know many people never really buy into the exercise component, but it's a two pronged plan that leads to success, one without the other, does not equate to long term weight loss success. Let's be honest, there are days, like this, rainy, cold, dreary morning, when nothing is more appealing than staying in bed, under the covers. On those kinds of days, having a plan in place and setting your alarm, get you out of bed....I knew that today's workout (already in my log book) was a required lift for biceps/triceps. Because it was in the book, skipping the gym wasn't an option. But, once there, when the weight lifting was completed, I felt it would be a waste of time to not do more. I wasn't in the mood for spin lass, and none of the cardio machines were enticing me either. So I told myself to just do a few, easy minutes of walking on the track. But, as is usually the case, I started lapping the others on the track. Once into the music, I decided that I would go for 20 minutes, which turned into 30, and then ended at 2+ miles and 40+ minutes and even a number of laps runnung...I was finished, and feeling very pleased with myself!
Head games...the things we can talk ourselves into!!!!!! Love it!
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Today marked the two year anniversary of my Mother's passing. It's still such a huge loss and life will really never be the same again. I was so lucky to have had the mother I did, she was my biggest fan, my friend, and she always loved me, unconditionally. I think of her very day in some way. It was eerie today to have realized the exact day and then have Miranda Lambert's song, "Over You" come on the radio at a that precise time. All too often, I just feel at a loss, it seems so wrong that she is gone. My family will never be the same again. My father is planning on re-marrying this June, at age 82 years old to someone he met at his support group. I just can't get past the disloyalty to my mother, it's wrong, I can't accept it, even though I want him to be happy, he feels like a stranger now.
I have to work all this through, I know, and I thought putting it in writing might somehow make it better, but it doesn't seem to help.
One foot in front of the other....
Sunday, February 17, 2013
Friday I got the stomach bug, it started to hit me as I finished my lifting at the gym-so glad I got it in before hand! So my eating was all over the map eating mostly soup and not really tracking anything makes me unsure of how the weigh in will go tomorrow...but, whatever happens I know I'm succeeding. I decided to get out all the umpire pants and try them on...I couldn't wear three of the four pair I have most of last year. I'm so happy that all but a pair of size 8's (which i havent worn in 3 years) fit...I was not sure I had made that much progress, so it was a spirit lifter.
While I was recovering on Saturday, I spent a lot of time surfing the Internet. I looked up the past contestants from the Biggest Loser to see where they are now. Surprisingly, the majority have all gained weight back. Some have kept most of their weight off, but only a few are within 20 pounds of where they were at the final. That made me realize, once again, just how hard maintaining is, after the loss. In my heart I know this, but in my head, I still won't give myself a break on being in that same boat. I still fight that inner self-loathing that got me back here. I see people post quotes stating "we are not the number on the scale" or our weight doesn't dictate our self-esteem", etc. of course any sensible person knows this to be a healthy view....but apparently it's just not what my head believes...I know that I'm on top of the world, when I'm at my healthy weight, I've been there, it's true...but every pound I gain, moves me farther away from that feeling...I don't know if I'll ever get past that....but I can get back to that weight...and I will...that is in my control!
So, some ups and some downs, but my alarm is set and I'm ready to start the second part of my 8 week workout tomorrow morning...
Sunday, February 10, 2013
When you are consistent in your healthy habits, magic is happening in your body and mind, even if the scale isn't moving. - Coach Jen
I recently blogged about my disappointment on my weight loss progress, and after receiving a very nice comment reminding me that "a loss is a loss" and reading this quote by coach Nicole, I see things with a different eye.
I have had a really consistent 12 weeks! I have been to the gym at least 5 days a week, I'm tracking my food, making healthy choices, and checking in here on SP daily. I'm feeling more energetic, and most definitely better about myself, and my general moods are much brighter. Those are 180 degree turn arounds from November. I felt "helpless" to stop my downward spiral, and wouldn't take the first step to make the changes I needed. But for the past 12 weeks (84 days) I have made the choice to take back the power I had given away. I've chosen everyday to eat well, and get moving, and I know that nothing but good will come from those choices.
I still have much work to do, but, I'm capable, and I'm able, so I will do the work!
Saturday, February 09, 2013
I recently read this quote from one of our SP coaches. "Success depends more on how much you eat than what you eat. Moderation is the key to success." on the surface this seems like very sound advice. For some folks it might just be the one missing link they've needed. But, I look at this and say, hmmmm. How can this be so? We have all gotten to this point by eating unhealthy foods, in large quantities, of course. By refusing to change this behavior, we are kidding ourselves about having a healthy lifestyle. I mean thimk about it, switching from a Big Mac to say a kids hamburger saves you calories, yes, but it's still a food that has little nutritional value. Besides, which, it's unlikely to make you feel full, and satisfied for very long. There are such better choices one can make that would allow you to eat a larger amount of food for less calories, and better nutritional values, and would truly be changing an old bad habit. Additionally, I doubt I'm alone with this, but for me eating certain foods just makes me want to have more of that food, and it is better to steer clear altogether, than try to eat it in moderation. Over these last 8 years, I've learned I am capable of change. I can learn to enjoy healthy food, and exercise, and I've tried so many new things because of opening myself up to change. Had I simply kept my old ways but moderated them, think how unenlightened my life would have remained.....hmmmm
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