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One of my best runs

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

For no other reason than I went for a run. I started a blog this morning titled "Confession" where I wrote about not exercising for 2 weeks. I decided not to post it because I didn't have much to say about it. I have no reason, excuses, etc. I just didn't exercise. I only started feeling bad about it in the last 2 days. And that was only slightly bad about it emoticon

I left work late, it's getting dark earlier, had to make dinner etc and I really just was going to sit and wait to see someone responded to a work email that was urgent (well urgent for them - still no reply emoticon )

I went with my new mantra - 30 minutes is nothing - go do something. I did and I found myself clapping in the streets (side street no one noticed) at how happy I was that I was exercising. Happy that my body still was OK enough to run the whole time. Happy that I probably could have gone another mile. Happy that the notion of - you don't have to be perfect, just consistent proved itself right, yet again.

I am happy to type that my breathing was fine throughout the run. In fact, I was singing Bad Romance on my last stretch of my run. My legs are going to be sore tomorrow since they were achy as I ran but that's OK. It will be a good reminder that a day, week or two weeks don't define who I am - I define who I am.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MSSUNBUG 11/16/2010 9:50PM

    Amen, lady! YOU define you. LOVE that you were singing Bad Romance too--LOL! I have the "remix" version on my running playlist--good stuff. ;-)

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TAMARAC2 11/12/2010 2:50PM

    I am contemplating the idea of starting to run..... you are an encouragement that I might be able to do it! emoticon emoticon

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ATREAT4ME 11/11/2010 8:25PM

    Sweeeeeet! I love the clapping. The first time I ran 20-minutes in a row, I contemplated telling complete strangers on the trail that I had run 20-minutes without stopping. The only thing that prevented me from doing so was that I didn't want to interfere with their workouts. Sunday, I'm scheduled to attempt 25 minutes. When I'm finished I will clap -- a lot -- and think of you! :-)

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ANEPANALIPTI 11/11/2010 8:03PM

    NICE!!! :D :D

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JONEIL513 11/11/2010 11:11AM

    Awesome!!! I totally agree that sometimes a workout is great just because we get out there and do it! GREAT JOB!!

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ELAOPET 11/11/2010 6:24AM

    Yes! Even 2 weeks won't do much for your fitness level! I did 3 days and the first run after that was just so great! I think my body actually liked the break (now, had I not eaten like a starved person in those 3 days, it would have been better...)
Glad you didn't feel the guilt. That is a healthy way of living. I strive... :)))
One day there will be a relaxed, confident person instead of this in- the- knot- wreck...some day....

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KGLOVER71 11/10/2010 10:22PM

    Oh, I just love your posts so much. Thanks! I'm so glad you ran and enjoyed your run. For me, I keep running because even though much of the time it's really hard and it really sucks, there are those magic runs that make it all worth it. I love those! Way to go and keep it up. emoticon

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LOVESTODJ 11/10/2010 9:09PM

    Absolutely brilliant!
Thanks for being so honest. It's reminding me to do the same.
Have a great week.
emoticon

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SBHPATRICK 11/10/2010 8:51PM

    Awesome, awesome, awesome!

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COUNTING_DOWN 11/10/2010 8:21PM

    Excellent. Glad you got out there...winter will be here soon enough. I loved the clapping scene! Keep it up!

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CTQUEEN 11/10/2010 8:10PM

    Good job on getting a run in!! Keep it up!

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JOPAPGH 11/10/2010 7:47PM

    Great job getting out there, now make it a streak!

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It's the little things

Sunday, October 31, 2010

We had a Halloween party last night. I don't like the holiday because I hate the pressure of finding a costume. I figure if I'm going to dress up, I need a good costume. So, I realize it's a self-induce pressure but then again, most pressures usually are.

Anyway, Bonnie had a 50s work party a few weeks ago and they had Pink Ladies outfits. So we went the easy way and used them. She borrowed a jacket and poodle skirt (cheap costume one made of felt) from her co-worker for me. I realized that 3 years ago, I wouldn't have been able to borrow something, I would accept the offer from the person fully knowing that I wouldn't fit into it. The skirt and jacket fit - felt isn't flattering but I'll survive.

My friends who were hosting the party have a fire pit so around 11 most people were outside. I had a poodle skirt on so I figured there was no way I was going out in the cold. Well, my friend went and got me sweat pants. Without a second thought I put them on. Three years ago I would have left the party, went outside and froze or something - there would be no way I would even say OK when she offered me the sweats. I would be embarrassed when they didn't fit.

I'm sure those of us who have been overweight know that sinking feeling we'd get when someone is trying to be kind and offers to go get a sweatshirt, jacket, something while you're thinking - there is no way that something is going to fit. It's a crappy feeling.

I don't have to worry about that any more. I can borrow things. Well most things - there's still smaller people than me but since I'm about average right now, it's nice.

I also found a sweater at The Limited today. I need a L and they only had a M. I found out the next closest store is an hour away. I may call my SIL in Cleveland and see if she's shopping any time soon if she could buy it for me. 3 years ago, I wouldn't be able to shop in The Limited because I was wearing a 1X or XXL - I would be too embarrassed to ask my SIL (size XS and 4) to pick something up for me. I have no problem asking her to pick it up a L/M for me now.

Walking around the mall today I had my hands in my jeans pockets - I can feel my hip bones. I know that I still have weight and inches to lose to be in a healthy range - but walking around feeling hip bones and feeling "small" really boosts my confidence.

Tomorrow I'm headed to a work conference for a few days. I'll be seeing people who I haven't seen in a year. I'm excited for them to see me!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FLYINGB16 11/8/2010 8:08PM

    This is so awesome! I know exactly how you feel. I made myself go to JCPenny's tonight to buy a few pairs of slacks. The size 16's I bought 5 weeks ago are falling off me. The 14's fit perfect. In another six weeks or so they should be falling off of me! I realized as the sales lady was ringing me up that I was not ashamed of my size anymore. I use to try to cover up the tags so the folks in line behind me couln't see. I had to go to Wal-mart after to get some lunch groceries. It felt good to walk around in my dress clothes and heels and feel confident.

I am so happy for you and glad that you enjoyed your Halloween party. You have done such a great job! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ELAOPET 11/8/2010 5:21PM

    Of course it does! And let e tell you, when my family came for a surprise visit, I ran like a mad woman and changed into my new jeans faster then Superman! LOL
emoticon

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CAROLANN27 11/7/2010 12:28PM

    What a joy to read your blog. Isn't it GREAT to have these realizations along the way? I have experienced the same thing when I have lost weight before and I look forward to it again. You rock!!

I love your new pic!

Comment edited on: 11/7/2010 12:28:51 PM

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TAMARAC2 11/2/2010 9:00AM

    You are doing a fantastic job!

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SPECPAPA 11/1/2010 3:41PM

    YOU are KILLING IT.

Way to go and a SUPER ATTITUDE.

Love ya

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JONEIL513 11/1/2010 11:51AM

    These are all marvelous things! I am so happy for you, being able to share clothes is an awesome perk of losing weight!

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JENNKNUT 11/1/2010 8:09AM

    So get this... not being able to get your size is so, well, awful. Way to hang in there!

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DJS-DEBBIE 11/1/2010 12:00AM

    Have a great time at the conference!

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ATREAT4ME 10/31/2010 11:17PM

    Oh my! Reading this made me laugh so hard because I remember when I first visited friends who lived here and they wanted to sit in the hot tub every night. I must've been a size 18 or 20 (about 20 years ago) and did not bring my swimsuit. The wife was convinced we'd be able to pick one up at a local store. She's a size 8. At the time I wasn't laughing about it at all, because we walked into every store at the Mall. I remember just wanting to crawl under something and die.

I'm so grateful that episode is over! I still can't shop at the Limitted, but soon I will. Until then, I'll enjoy the moment vicariously. Thank you for sharing it!



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LYNNANN43 10/31/2010 10:45PM

    These are emoticon NSVs (Non-Scale Victories)!!!!!!!!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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COUNTING_DOWN 10/31/2010 10:40PM

    I just love having my clothes feel different! I'll take that over scale numbers any day. I am glad you got out and went to the party. Look at all that you are learning about yourself! I am happy to say that I was a couch potato once I got home from work...no trick or treaters up here in the hills! Have fun tomorrow. They will all walk right by you and then turn around to see if you are who they think you are. Enjoy!!

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KGLOVER71 10/31/2010 8:08PM

    I love it. I related to everything you said in this post! I love that you're celebrating all of those (awesome) little things that we sometimes forget to give ourselves credit for. You're awesome.

Comment edited on: 10/31/2010 8:08:22 PM

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ANEPANALIPTI 10/31/2010 8:00PM

    Oh I definitely know that feeling !!!! Way to go girl. *hugs*

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61 Paperclips

Monday, October 25, 2010

I put my 61st paperclip on my strain the other day. I looked back at when I put together the 54 as a reminder of how far I've come. It was July27th. That is 14 weeks ago - so I'm averaging 1/2 pound a week. At this rate, it's going to take another 40 weeks to get where I hope to be.

A big part of me thinks "well, it's no big deal, I'll be living those 40 weeks anyway, so I might as well lose weight while I'm doing it".

A small part of me thinks - really, another 10 months!

I've made a lot of progress, I can run farther and faster than I ever imagined. I know all of those things.

But still...

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MSSUNBUG 10/29/2010 7:18AM

    You are consistent--and that's so important! Forget the deadline. Keep your focus on those paperclips, one at a time, accumulating on that string. Your goals will be here before you know it, and in the meantime, you're respecting your body, making choices you can feel proud of, looking mighty fine in your jeans, and achieving good health and fitness. No need to wait until you reach the finish line to feel proud and wonderful and beautiful--you're doing plenty to deserve that feeling right now!

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CAROLANN27 10/26/2010 5:19PM

    Hi Britt,

I have been admiring for some time now how you are so steady and consistent. It might seem slow, but it seems like every time I turn around you have lost more weight! It has added up to a lot.

I like what KGLOVER71 said! And I also like your thought of you might as well lose weight since you'll be living the next 40 weeks anyway.

You're an inspiration!

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ELAOPET 10/26/2010 8:38AM

    I know it must be trying (and scary for me now, because I fear in a little while it'll be more and more difficult to keep losing)
But losing slow is the way to go emoticon hehe Sounds like a motto!
I can't say that I'm sorry losing fast but the thought of earning myself a gall bladder problem that way is not a pleasant one!
So, go slow, try have patience. You are so right - you'll be living - why not losing while you're at it! Good point!
emoticon

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DJS-DEBBIE 10/25/2010 10:28PM

    Slow and steady is the way to go!

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ATREAT4ME 10/25/2010 10:03PM

    61!!!! Amazing. Wonderful. Congratulations. I like you're idea of you gotta keep living the next 40 weeks too, you might as well be doing something good for yourself while your living. I love your paperclips and I'm so happy for your string of 61. Enjoy this accomplishment!

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KGLOVER71 10/25/2010 9:13PM

    Yes, but . . . you are healthy and gorgeous right now! And you're just getting healthier and gorgeous-er. Enjoy the ride.

I absolutely love the paper clip idea!!!

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GODDESSELLIE07 10/25/2010 5:21PM

    I used to have a paper clip chain... actually two. It started as one that had one clip for every pound I needed/wanted to lose. Then as I lost a pound, I moved the clip to the other chain that represented the weight I had lost. It was so exciting to see the "weight I've lost" chain get longer than the "weight I need to lose" chain! Don't let anything slow you down... you are doing great!

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ANEPANALIPTI 10/25/2010 3:55PM

    BRILLIANT. I HOPE to have your success!

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ANEPANALIPTI 10/25/2010 3:55PM

    BRILLIANT. I HOPE to have your success!

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COUNTING_DOWN 10/25/2010 1:28PM

    5 bucks says it's gone in 30 or less if you keep up the running! :o)

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MACKANDME 10/25/2010 1:23PM

    When you look at it that way it sure does seem like forever. That is why I think in terms of breaking it up in my head so there are shorter terms. I am sure along the way of these 40 weeks there are things you can reward yourself for besides the final goal? Just a thought.

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Fat Talk Free Week" - I'm liking it

Monday, October 18, 2010

I found this link on Jilian Michale's Facebook page this morning. (There's a few embedded links in the article for a little more info)

www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8
599,2025345,00.html?xid=rss-mostpopular


I think we all know the power of good self-talk. I was thinking last week how many people on Spark continually bash themselves in small ways - which really hurts their self-conscious more than any caloric high day would hurt our bodies. Lately, I have also been trying to figure out if I'm just too easy on myself. I never bash myself for eating too much, I don't wallow in not working out on a day I had thought I would. Would I be further along and closer to my goal weight if I was stricter with myself? I keep coming back to - no. Treat myself as I would treat others who I loved.

This article and the week of Fat Talk Free Week caught my attention because I realize I do talk poorly to myself - in different ways. I went shopping the other day and continually thought - if I could only get rid of the muffin top. Or, why do size 10s fit some times but I can't get into all size 10s? I measure myself and think "only a half inch in a month?" I think "I still have a long way to go". Of course, I don't negate the progress I have made - I just keep wanting more than I have at this moment in time. That's not healthy and not good self-talk.

So my new focus is going to be on totally positive self-talk... TOTALLY! Heck even the last statement of the article about "wanting to run" instead of "need to run" will have a great impact on my life.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CAROLJ35 10/23/2010 10:03PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ELAOPET 10/22/2010 3:19PM

    THAT is the hardest thing for me! Very, very hard! I agree it's unhealthy. It's so easy to think bad of myself. Only lately, I find myself say nice things to myself. Sometimes. Like, I tell myself I have come far, further then I really thought possible. And I like the resolve I have and am mostly grateful for it!
Good blog! Liking it! :D

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DJS-DEBBIE 10/21/2010 7:49PM

    Thanks for sharing this, Britt!

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CAROLANN27 10/20/2010 4:29PM

    Hi Britt,

Thanks for the great blog. I read the article, too, but got more out of your blog. It is so easy for us to talk negatively to ourselves. It's interesting, as I was clicking onto your page and noting the 60-pound loss banner, I got to thinking how faithful you have been and what a terrific result you've achieved! 60 pounds!! And there is so much more benefit than just the weight loss. I loved your status today. You're a changed person! You are such an encouragement!





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COUNTING_DOWN 10/20/2010 7:22AM

    I'm back for a second reading! I read it the other day, and then had to ponder what I actually do. I don't beat up on myself if I blow a meal, but I do get disgusted if I don't exercise as I know I should. The thing that I like the best about what is happening in my own situation is I love the feeling of baggy clothes. This is such a positive reinforcement that what I am doing is working beautifully. i guess, all things considered, things are going well. Thanks for making me think! Other parts of my work life I am not so positive, and I do have to give that some thought.

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MSSUNBUG 10/18/2010 9:50PM

    I'm all for positivity. Being kind and loving to ourselves is really the only way. It's a continual struggle (well, for me), but it's always what leaves me feeling best and most set up to reach my goals.

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ATREAT4ME 10/18/2010 7:21PM

    Thanks for posting this link. I read the article and I'm very grateful to have more insight into discussing this issue (as it comes up) with my 4-year-old children. I appreciate the information.


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ANEPANALIPTI 10/18/2010 4:29PM

    Love it! emoticon

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JONEIL513 10/18/2010 1:18PM

    I love this blog! I think that is a great challenge. I'm going to try it too because I am terrible with the negative self talk!

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NIGHTOCUPS 10/18/2010 12:23PM

    Wow, I guess it's such an obvious thing, but it doesn't get talked about enough is doing the opposite. OK, I'm with you and totally not going to talk about being "fat" this week and hopefully people can make this a lifelong habit. It's healthy living not "I don't want to be fat" living.

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Is this really that hard?

Wednesday, October 06, 2010

Every once in awhile it hits me, this just isn't that hard. Today is one of those days. I'm sure many people who are on the same journey as I would whole heartedly disagree with me but for me - itís just not that hard. I apologize in advance if what I write offends anyone, I don't mean to sound flippant or demean anyone's feelings. This is just my thoughts on it all.

I often have pictures in my head when people say/write certain things. When I read "this is so hard" I envision someone pushing a huge boulder up a hill or someone pushing a wall that they think will move but doesn't. To me these are really harsh visuals. Therefore, I choose not to think of my journey in that way. I can't live my days thinking I'm pushing a huge boulder. I really think that if I continually say/think it's HARD - it's going to be. Self-fulfilling prophecy, I guess.

When I read 'whereís my motivation?" I envision someone standing there in a movie where the heavens open up and light shines down - that person waiting for a huge tidal wave to come over them so they feel like choosing to exercise or eat well. It may be an extreme mental picture to have but, again, it helps me realize that motivation doesn't come in tidal waves. It's the small choices I make daily that helps me continue on the path (well some times Iím in the grassy parts - but I'm close to the path emoticon)

So much of the journey is about choices. Most days, the healthy choices aren't THAT much harder to make than the not-so-healthy ones.

Grocery shopping - I don'tt find it that hard not to go down the chip aisle or pick Edy's slow churn over Hagen Daaz.
Portion control - I don't find it that hard to weigh my food. It's also not that hard to only have 3-4 ounces of meat instead of 6-8.
Dining out - choosing a nice chicken dish is just as easy as choosing a hamburger and fries and for the whole 15-20 minutes it takes to eat it I can be happy with my choice.
No lunch and need something quick - I donít find it that hard to go Taco Bell (fresca menu), Subway, or Wendy's ((baked potato and small chili) instead of McDonald's
Working out - sure sleeping an extra hour would be nice but the benefits of exercising are great so I make the choice not to sleep in.

Sure there are days that the same two alternatives seem a lot harder to choose between than they did the week before. In the big scheme of things, though, our healthy choice is generally a pretty satisfying and fulfilling one if we let it be.

When I read "fall off the waon" I envision someone on a Conestoga wagon literally falling off. I'm not sure who started that phrase but I don't like it because it sounds painful and way too harsh. I choose to use the image of hills and valleys. Life is full of them - so is this journey of health/weight loss that I'm on. This really helps me roll with the punches and realize that I may choose the not-so-great alternative at times but that's not the end all and be all to who I am or where I'm going. It's a lot easier/gentler for me to visualize being in a valley heading back up the hill than it is for me to visualize myself dusting myself off and checking for broken bones while trying to hop back on a wagon. (By the way my mind's eye's hills and valley are plush and green with some pretty wildflowers emoticon)

I readily admit that I live a pretty stress free life. Some of that is by circumstance like I have no kids, I work for a company that has won awards on being a great place to work, I have a supportive partner, and my extended family brings me little to no drama. Some of that is also by my choice to not to let things in my life stress me out. I say this because I do go to work, I do have social events, I do have a partner and extended family and with these things come situations that may not be ideal. How I choose to deal with them, think about them, etc is totally my choice. I choose to make things as easy as possible and quite often it's just a shift in my thinking.

My 60 pound weight-loss didn't come without some work, though. I have a lot of fitness minutes to show for it (although many people have a lot more than I do.) It takes some discipline to lose weight - in my mind that doesn't mean that it's hard work - I am just working hard. To me, there's a huge difference.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TAMARAC2 10/16/2010 11:11AM

    You're right! I have those same thoughts along the way. It really is NOT that hard which makes it so much more frustrating when we're not getting it right.

It's inspiring to see when other people are in the groove and I think it will help me get back in it wholeheartedly!

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DJS-DEBBIE 10/10/2010 6:57PM

    Great blog, Britt. I see the same Conestoga wagon...LOL...it makes me think of that computer game 'The Oregon Trail'.

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CAROLANN27 10/8/2010 11:30PM

    Hi Britt,
I really like your outlook, especially the part about being in a valley and heading back up a grassy hill than dusting yourself off and trying to climb back on the wagon.

You have really gained so much confidence and accimplished so much! You're an inspiration!

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SBHPATRICK 10/7/2010 9:34PM

    True, true, true, true, true! This is exactly how I feel as well. Thanks for sharing!

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SMILEITSALLGOOD 10/7/2010 8:44PM

    emoticon

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DARK_CINDERELLA 10/7/2010 5:57AM

    Thanks so much for this! It really helped to alter my mentality.

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ANGELCITYGAL 10/7/2010 12:29AM

    Thank you! I agree 100% -- It's "hard" to be exhausted all the time because of obesity. It's "hard" to be suffering from Type 2 diabetes, depression and heart disease because of obesity. It's "hard" to face an early death because of obesity. It's "hard" to miss out on life experiences due to shame or because of being physically unable to participate because of obesity. Compared to those losses, the hard work of weight loss and maintenance is something I joyfully do. Great observations. Thanks for posting.

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HARMONYBLUE 10/6/2010 10:55PM

    Love this blog and your visualization. Very nice! I also think "this" isn't hard, leading a healthy lifestyle. Sometimes getting the scale to recognize I am being so healthy and reward me for it, a little harder.

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BOBBYD31 10/6/2010 10:33PM

    very nice blog! i really like your simplified approach, it makes life alot easier!

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ECASPERS 10/6/2010 9:06PM

    You have identified good reasons and approaches how to win at this task. Some of us find it more challenging than others - we can focus a little at a time. I admire your focus and great for you. Mine will take just a bit longer.

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RUNNER12COM 10/6/2010 9:02PM

    I love this. You're right, there are always at least two different ways to look at things. And you are looking at this journey in a way that gives you power and control. It's fantastic.

Thanks for posting this!

SDJ

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AMBOMAE82 10/6/2010 8:18PM

    What a great way to look at things! I'm glad I read this, as it came at a "hard" time for me! Choice by choice, I'm going to do this! Thank you!

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MSSUNBUG 10/6/2010 7:55PM

    Yep yep. There IS a huge difference. I agree--I worked hard to lose 110 pounds. But it wasn't necessarily "that hard." Simple changes, taking responsibility for my choices, not striving to be a perfectionist.... Thanks for writing this!

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KAYEGURL08 10/6/2010 7:48PM

    You were right after me, and thanks for being another one of those sparkers I just wanna hug for taking the time to do this awesome little thing called Inspire. emoticon

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