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A new friend

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

I have always considered myself a pretty good friend to others. I'm sure I have some faults when it comes to friendships but overall I do a pretty good job. I am thinking more and more recently that I need to be that good friend to myself.

Things I'd never do to a friend:
Yell at her for eating something °ßbad°®
"Allow® self-destructive behaviors without trying to help
Intentionally hurt
Tell her she's fat and ugly
Make her feel guilty for having a few bad days

So, if I wouldn"t do those things to a friend, I shouldn't be doing them to myself. I am becoming more positive with myself and showing kindness. Instead of focusing on what I haven"t done or how much I have to lose. I keep reminding myself that I have lost 35 pounds and 24 inches. It"s so much nicer to go through my day treating myself like I"d treat others.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANNA_NYM 5/8/2008 12:22AM

    35 pounds and 24 inches is, absolutely, an incredible accomplishment. You should be very proud of yourself.

It doesn't happen overnight, though I wish I could snap my fingers and take back all the trips to the drivethrough. Slowly, but surely, with the right attitude, we can loose the weight that is holding us down.

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Thursday, April 24, 2008

As my food choices this past week haven't been the best, I'm learning more and more that it's all about balance. I have had way too many desserts since Saturday but it's proving to be not too bad on the scale. Because I have learned that eating half a piece of cheesecake is better than the whole one. Also, that it's not as bad if dinner has some good protein and isn't high calories.

Balance is a good thing. It helps me keep my not so good choices from turning in to a horrible day. I've been pretty good at keeping within my calorie range even with an ice cream cone at the zoo.

Granted, I have only lost about a half a pound since the weekend (but I'm in the 180s....although only by a tad) but in my previous life I probably would have gained the half pound!

I hope others can find the value of balancing like I do


My thoughts on the scale

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

I am noticing how much the scale is affecting me, lately. I know itís suggested that I weigh myself once a week but Iím lucky if I can stick to once a day. The ones later in the day donít have an affect on me, good or bad, but I am noticing that my mood and thoughts seem to obsess with how much Iíve lost.

Many days itís a good thing. I think to myself ďI can tell people I lost (fill in number) poundsĒ. Today I didnít go to the gym because Iím going to take a long walk after work. I use the scale there to have my official weight loss because I feel itís not as temperamental as my home one. So I step on my home one for a general gauge and I lost 1.5 pounds from yesterday. My thoughts all day have beenÖ
I wish I would have gone to the gym.
I wonder if itís true or if itís proportional to the gym scale.
Can I tell people I lost 31.5 pounds now? Or could it be 32?

In the big reality of thingsÖa pound or two is not that big of deal. Thatís the other thoughts I have had today. I am quite lucky that I havenít really gained any weight (one pound at the most) but do get a little down (not totally, thank God) if I am the same weight a few days in a row.

Yesterday I thought I would have a goal of only weighing in every Tuesday. Then reward myself with something in two weeks. One would think that this would be an easy goalÖbut itís not. I think itís harder than sticking to 1200-1500 calories a day. Heck, I even obsessed for two days on whether I should write about it thinking if I do, then Iíll have to do something about it. Maybe I should start out small and reward for every other day or something.

OK, now Iím just rambling!!!

I know Iím doing well. In addition to over 30 pounds Iíve also lost over 15 inches so I do look for other signs of progress, too. Maybe itís not so bad that I weigh daily.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LAVONIVY 4/23/2008 7:52PM

  Thanks for the congrats on my 3 lb loss. You're right! A loss is a loss and I am going to be happy for every pound gone.
I was also reading your blog and I have the same problem. I want to step on that scale every single day but I realized one day that the scale was dictating how I felt about myself every day. I had a love/hate relationship with myself. If I was down a pound I was pleased with myself and would feel too relaxed about my eating and therefore gain back that pound. If I was up a pound, which was inevitable, I literally hated myself that day. I felt it was best to set the scale aside and work my hardest to lose weight during that week and see the results at the end of that week. It works for me. Yes, I am tempted to step on that scale in the middle of the week and yes, resisting that temptation is harder than keeping within my calorie range! But I work harder at it if I don't see right away and hopefully I will see better results.
And for you......31.5 or 32 pounds what's the difference!!! You've done great! I do think you should just pick one scale and stick to that one. Then you will know the true weight loss.

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BLUEMOONMEL 4/16/2008 4:00PM


So I read your post and I couldn't help but think of myself. Well my gym had an old doctor's scale that clearly wasn't right. So they replaced it with two floor scales with digital readouts. I am not even kidding here, there was an exact 4 pound difference between one and the other. It didn't matter where you put it at all.

So a couple of weeks ago I go in on Saturday to work out and to weigh myself that day and one of the scales is gone. Now, I don't know which one is left. The correct one (read the lower amount one here : ) ) or the extra four pounds one.

So I get on the scale and I know it is the extra four pounds one because it says I gained two pounds. Which is not even possible with the way I had been eating and working out. Nonetheless, it threw me into a tail spin. I was grumpy and moody all day until my work out the next day. I was going to even go and buy a scale for my house and use that scale as my measure.

Well long story short, I come into the gym a couple of days later and there is now an old style one with the dial with numbers on it and the digital one. Neither one is correct. they are both about 4 pounds heavy give or take. I have decided to just give it up and not worry about it. I am gauging my weight loss and the accuracy of the scale simply on how much I am working out and how I am eating.

Accepting that the scale can be wrong, it can be that time of the month, you are bloated and all of these things are factors but KNOWING that I did all I was supposed to and am still takes the anxiety out of the number. Sticking with it and moving forward is so much more of a challenge for me than the number on the scale.

So here is my completely unsolicited advice. Toss your scale at home. Don't use it. That same impatience to see a lower number on the scale and to see a sleeker form in the mirror will be the impatience that will allow you to throw up your hands and say forget it. The weight did not come on overnight and it will not come off overnight. You have lost 30 pounds. That is amazing! You are now 30 pounds closer to your goal and you have three months of experience to draw on for what is working for you and what isn't.

You know as well as anyone that the scale keeps you accountable but it isn't a measure of your effort and dedication, it is only a non-reliable and innacurate approximation of your current, at that moment, body mass. Don't let it be the only factor you measure yourself with. Good luck.

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3 Months into the Journey

Monday, April 07, 2008

Well, technically, itís 3 months and 2 days but whoís counting. I started this journey without giving it too much thought on what I was doing and where I wanted to go. I also didnít give too much thought on the why I wanted to lose weight and get healthy. So, starting it with blinders on has forced me to open my eyes a lot.

Last summer/fall I watched The Biggest Loser for the first time. I would sit with my bowl of ice cream (not a half cup nicely measured out, either) and sat in awe of what these people were accomplishing. Now, I know that they have trainers pushing them for hours a day but still they were accomplishing something. I looked at the women and saw that although many started out larger than I was that they were now my size and smaller. I continued eating the ice cream, cookies and yellow (because of the butter) mashed potatoes.

A Christmas picture showed that I was a lot larger than I thought I was. I knew that clothes werenít fitting and having to shop in the plus sizes was becoming a norm but it didnít really hit me to do much about it. My partner found this site and I thought what the heck, Iíll change my eating habits.

It was probably one of the biggest decisions Iíve made and yet the easiest. Since day 1 (well 2), I really have had no trouble staying in my calorie range, getting exercise and drinking my water. I have seen results almost daily in one way or the other. I have a weigh-in tomorrow (I prefer the gymís scale) so Iím hoping to be at the 30 pounds vanished mark! If not, Iíve had such a good ride to date that I canít be upset with the scale or myself at all. I tell myself ďIt is what it isĒ and go from there. Itís been a good journey so far and Iím committed to continuing down this path.

I used to say that the light at the end of the tunnel seems so far away. I now realize that I need to step out of the tunnel because there are other sources of light. Thatís been a slower process but Iím getting there!


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