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Hello, my friends, hello........

Monday, March 12, 2012

3/12/12 I am somewhat back- in -action

WELL!Happy 2012 a little late! Sadly, I ended2011 with a massive hemorragic(sp?) stroke that bled out some more! Count myself very lucky not to be a vegetable, though! It seems the you really do get what you need and no necessarily what you want! Also, myroad to recovery mayl be long! No left arm as of yet= almost 3 months past stroke but the left leg came back fairly quickly and has proven to be quite helpful with my therapy!
I've missed you guys and look forward to "Sparking" again throughout 2012! I'll let you all know of my progress, as I make it!
The good news.... aka what I needed.....My husband has jumped into his new 'caretaker' role like a veritable SUPERHERO-! HE ROCKS
! emoticon
RAH!
IT SEEMS I will finally be forced into learning some patience for everything including myself and my whole host of new 'short comings' or challenges! emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GEEKSMEGGLY 3/14/2012 8:32AM

    So glad you are back and sorry for your health issues.
I know you can make it all the way back with your positive attitude.
I'm here for any support I can give. emoticon

Bonnie

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BACK2SQUARE1 3/13/2012 11:21AM

    Thanks, Monty! How's the Zumba been going for you?

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MONTY68 3/13/2012 11:06AM

    Hi
I am so glad that you are back. Sorry to hear about your stroke, but I feel a very positive attitude in your blog. I know that you were always determined on your journey to be successful. Also you commented yesterday about your walking, congratulations.
Any help or support you need, I am here for you .
Thank you for sharing

Monty emoticon emoticon

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B2S1: A year in review....

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Hello, dear friends!

Man, it has been a good year overall. I really can't remember thinking that in the last decade before now. I always feel there could have been more that I could have accomplished but I have learned to be happy with what has actually transpired, too!

I started last year on 2/28/10 weighing 285 pounds; 53% body fat. Here are the starting measurements:
Bust 55
Back 50
Upper Arm 17
Waist 49 (Yes, I am definitely an 'apple')
Hips 54
Thighs 30.75

Also, I could not put my shoes on without using the stairs and getting a headache from not being able to breathe while doing it. My 'dress size' was 28 (or more); 4X. I switched to T's and sweats so I lost track! My arms felt like they were permanently 'sticking out' (like the Michelin Man'. My skin was sallow/dry/wrinkled, etc. I stopped dying my hair because I figured 'what on earth was the point?'. My joint pain and blood sugar were out of control largely due to a combination of poor nutrition and lack of motion. I was unemployed with zero prospects and had been for nearly 4 years....and I was having a really hard time trying to come up with reasons to 'stick around' (Thank God for my cat!).

Well, I am still overweight, probably even obese , but I am feeling so much better.....

I have no trouble putting my shoes on AND breathing at the same time and I don't need the stairs to do it anymore, either! My skin is looking much better, too. I think I now look closer to my age rather than a few decades older! My joints are not aching nearly as badly (go Omega's!!) and I have lost 75 pounds! Today I weigh in at 209.5; 39% body fat.

Also, I am having some fun with my hair and trying new bits of color and changing cuts. I never had the guts to do that before! I believe I am in the 18/20 dress size range now.....18 on the bottom (if the waist is not pinched!); more of a 20 on the top. Soon I will be able to shop in a regular store rather than having to order things online.

Svelt? Certainly not but working my way down to an 'acceptable' size for me! Here are the current measurements:
Bust 46.5
Back 40
Upper Arm 13.25
Waist 39.5 (Yes, I am still definitely an 'apple')
Hips 46
Thighs 26

I also finally got a job and I am really happy about that. I am not the kind of person that does very well without a 'place to be' regularly. I get so much more done when I DO have time constraints! Although it has changed things, and it is presenting a challenge to my exercise schedule and time with the cat (!! poor fellow!!) but I am working it out.

So now I begin Year2 with all of you and I am REALLY looking forward to it! By the end of the year I plan to release 80 more pounds and then, I will work on keeping it all off!! ;)

Thanks you guys!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LINZEE118 3/1/2011 8:43AM

    I loved this blog. I always told you that you are my source of encouragement! Where to start! First and foremost congrats on your year anniversary. I agree with Monty that you should be EXTREMELY proud for all your accomplishments! Every accomplishment starts with the decision to try! You have worked very hard to get to the point you are at now! I'm glad your new job is going good. I can relate to you perfectly. When I'm under constraint I do MUCH BETTER! I was on a month hiatus. Lucky it only lasted a month. I'm biggest regret is that if I didn't take that hiatus I would have definitely be at my half way point. Live and learn. I am back on track now. I've jointed the winter 1 challenge and I'm on the firecracker team. I'm sure they will be happy I'm back on track. They are a really nice group. Allot of encouragement on that team. If I didn't join I would still be on a hiatus. I see the scale is going down. Do you realize that you are almost entering "Onderland" That is one of my biggest goals that I'm focused on. Hope to be their by mid-May at the latest. Question that has been bothering me. How is your little fellow doing? (Cat) What is his, her name and is it a boy or girl? Has he, or she adjusted to your work schedule yet? Please take care and KEEP IN TOUCH!!! Linda emoticon emoticon emoticon

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NEWYEARME 2/27/2011 8:46PM

    Wow!!!! You've had quite a year!!!

Congratulations on all your accomplishments so far. I know that you will meet your goal for the coming year. We will do this together!!!!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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IRISHBEANERGAL 2/27/2011 12:54PM

    Fantastic! You are an inspiration for me. I only began on Jan 17th this year, but I look forward to posting my One Year results also. I hope they are as great as yours!

~Irish

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MONTY68 2/27/2011 11:32AM

    HI
What a awesome blog. Look at you, those new numbers tell it all. If you are not, you should be very proud of yourself. Congratulations. I know that you have gone through a lot of struggles this past year, but in spite of that you have shown such a great progress.
Now, you are working, I feel it will be a positive in your life, some adjustments will be necessary but I feel That the next year will have awesome results.

Thank you for sharing.

Monty emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Week 39.....

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Well, going 'off track' is always a problem. I wasn't totally off during my hiatus but it crept slowly in until I was. SOSOld..... Thankfully, I reigned myself back in. Just noticed the sallow skin, the bags under my eyes, the tired, achey, sick feeling ALL THE TIME.....

No more (for now, at least). I'd love to say NO MORE period but I am not SURE. Life knocks you around and when feel that you are floundering around on your own it is OH, SO EASY to fall back into your old ways for just a bit of 'comfort'. Although, it's not really COMFORT at all but it is FAMILIAR and that is enough to make you feel a little better for a very short time. But then, I guess because we have the 'food sickness' it rapidly gets out of hand and BAM! You are right back to abusing yourself and feeling like a worthless FAILURE....and WA-LA - hello, weight gain, self-despair, hatred, anger.....all of it!

I may never get off this roller-coaster ride but I WILL manage into a kiddie-coaster size so it is not so EXTREME! No one can do it but me. I have been reading this bit and it is helpful:

'Be a grownup. Remember that what you put in your mouth is your responsibility. While others may tempt you(by hurting your feelings, making you feel guilty, badgering, bullying, etc.), ultimately you’re in charge of your own life. Look at difficult situations as opportunities to flex your newfound control muscles-- and reinforce the idea that you’re not adopting a healthier lifestyle for someone else, but for yourself.'

I believe it came from a Spark article but I can't remember which one. I notice it is hitting me on a different level now. I have come a long way and I have grown a LOT. I am not a failure, I am just not moving forward as fast as I would like but changing lifelong habits is not so easy, as we all well know. One day at a time. I always have to go back to my mantra - slow and steady wins the race.... I have the slow part down, I just didn't really register until now how crucial the steady part actually is!

I really appreciate you all being there. It is so horrible to always feel so alone. I am not sure why the first thing I do is cut off my lifeline to try to 'protect' myself....ALWAYS backfires, really ALWAYS. This time maybe that lesson will finally sink in and when I start going off track again, and I know I will at some point, I will reach out for help from you guys instead of hiding myself away.

Take care and happy Thanksgiving!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GEEKSMEGGLY 11/28/2010 12:20AM

    This is a great blog and I understand what you go through. I also feel alone with this seemingly never ending battle. I try to go it alone too but that has never worked for me. So here I am and come here every day whether my weight is creeping up or coming down. This is the place for me to focus on my needs and I get so much encouragement and information on many areas that I need to work on.
Hang in here and we can support each other.
Hope you had a great Thanksgiving. emoticon

Bonnie emoticon

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LINZEE118 11/26/2010 10:32AM

    I can totally relate to changing old ways are hard. I went off track 4 weeks into my diet and I'm just getting back after an additional 4 weeks! I can kick myself for what I did! Live and learn. Now we can help each other through the difficult times! emoticon emoticon emoticonLinda

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MONTY68 11/25/2010 3:37PM

    Hi
I'm so glad that you are back and on track. I feel that when one goes off track and does come back, if they review and learn from the experience, it makes it much easier to continue. you have stated that you recognize and are on your way on your journey.
We are here to support you and I really believe that you can be successful.
Thank you for sharing
Monty emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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B2S1 - Week 28 addendum

Wednesday, September 08, 2010

I like astrology. I find it interesting to correlate things with the planets. Here is what I read this morning about the new moon:

On September 8, we have a New Moon in Virgo at 10:31 am UTC. (6:30 am EDT, 3:30 am PDT). This New Moon is about BALANCE -- the balance between what we want to do and what we need to do -- the energies of the cosmos want us to analyze elements of our present behavior that may be out of balance and set them right. This New Moon helps us recognize truths about ourselves and wants us to focus on our particular path in this lifetime.

Funny.....

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MONTY68 9/9/2010 4:26PM

    Ana
Thanks for sharing this. I agree, Life is about balance, including all that we do on a daily basis. I think that the healthy way of eating should be in balance and that sort of what I suggested on your ideas about salad. But what you gave us is an important lesson to think about.

Monty

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B2S1 - Week 28

Wednesday, September 08, 2010

Man! I have been OOC! The scale registers 10 pounds of 'found' weight. I know it is partly water from all the salty foods but still I am guessing I put at least 5 pounds back on.....I could not really identify the cause until last night. It has been a solid week of deliberately making the wrong decisions. I stopped myself and asked all the right questions and DELIBERATELY contiinued on my path of self-destruction. I suprised even myself. I thought I had gotten past that nonsense!

The stimulus for this unfortunate downturn? I watched that Kirstie Alley (sp?) show....something about her 'fat life'. I was watching it and thinking 'what a shame'. She is a beautiful, and very troubled woman. I couldn't help thinking she looks awful. .... Then she stepped on the scale and was totally devastated because she weighed 230 poounds.

Well, I figure she is at least 4 inches taller than I am and I was celebrating getting DOWN to 230! It took all the wind out of my sails. I couldn't help but think that I look even worse than she does so what is the point? WHAT IS THE POINT?! Hence, 10 days of bulldozing through all the crap I usually avoid with no problem, and washing it down with alcohol because, why the hell not?

Well, AGAIN, how silly! Yes, she is quite large, very unhealthy, and very troubled. But she is not trying to fix it. I AM! Yes, I am huge right now but I used to be even larger! I am down 50 solid pounds. Soon it will be more. I promise this to all of you and more importantly to myself. I will not be the sad, troubled, unhealthy, fat woman forever. I will not be a Kirstie Alley (sp?).

I am healthy. I eat very healthy foods. I drink plenty of water. I exercise. I work on fixing my mind. I AM NOTHING LIKE HER. It is apples and oranges. At the moment, we may seem to look alike but I am on a MUCH DIFFERENT LIFE PATH.

I am glad I churned through this issue and I am glad it only took 10 days! This is clearly an improvement. In the past I might never have figured out what the hell happened! I plan on sticking with HGTVin the future! It is much healthier for my soul and my psyche!

So, today I am newly back on track with a very good lesson learned under my belt. I can't be comparing myself to anyone else. We are all different. I will succeed at my own pace and in my own way. I will never be a beauty queen but I won't feel like such a freak, either. It will just take more time and I will be fine.

Now I have to wash all those toxins out of my poor body! Ugh! :)

Take care!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NEWYEARME 9/11/2010 11:08PM

    There's bound to be bumps in the road along the way. But, at least you're back on the right track. You have made positive changes and you are becoming a slimmer and healthier you. You should be very proud!!!

Keep up the good work!!!! You're worth it!!!

emoticon emoticon

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MONTY68 9/9/2010 2:21AM

    Hi
This is a fantastic blog. I am going to suggest that you had to experience this whole idea of what you went through. I feel what you experienced, what you saw and how you felt, will now become that constant reminder of who you are. You say that at the end of the blog, but now you KNOW who you are and that is a person, who WILL succeed in reaching any goal she sets out to do.
Congratulations and thank you so much for sharing this.

Monty emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SPRING1973 9/8/2010 9:29AM

    Good for you! You recognized your "stinkin' thinkin'" & you changed it, whoo hoo! I'm struggling right now too, but in a more vague ambiguous way... I'm going to keep your blog handy as a reminder!

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MINIDRIVER63 9/8/2010 9:27AM

    Heh. I felt the same when I realized I still have six months of hard work before I get to Valerie Bertinelli's starting weight. LOL.

We are all individuals. A healthy weight for one person is overweight for another and underweight for yet another. That's why it's so important to set goals that are right for YOU.

I also realized that I look much better when I've gotten DOWN to 225 than when I've bloated UP to 225. When I'm on the downward cycle, I'm exercising, eating right, I walk straighter, smile more. I look happy and confident.

And I imagine a lot of the drama and angst on Ms. Alley's tv show is a performance. Most "reality" tv is like that - everything is blown out of proportion to make it more interesting to viewers. Who wants to watch somebody emotionally stable acting normal?

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DPTHEIS 9/8/2010 9:16AM

    Congrats on your new realization! You're definitely on the right track, when you can look inside so clearly. Keep it up!
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