Tuesday, December 31, 2013
2013 was supposed to be my year to get back on track. Well, it didn't happen. I found more of the weight I had lost. I guess I should say 2013 wasn't a horrible year, just not one of the better ones. Work was extremely stressful. How a 30 hour per week job I enjoy could become such a source of stress is a wonder. I know exercise helps to lessen stress. I know exercise can help you to feel better. But, the longer hours and stress caused by work became my excuse to not workout. When I would get home an hour or more later then I was supposed to I just felt like having supper and spending the night trying to relax. I have never regretted a workout, but looking back on 2013 has me regretting the times I should have worked out and didn't. This year I lost my 4 legged best friend which had me in a state of depression. I know exercise is a great way to work through our emotions. But, stress plus depression had me barely working out in the morning much less even thinking about an evening workout. So, instead of 2013 being the year to pick myself up, dust myself off and get back on that good lifestyle road I had more of a backslide. I end the year beating myself up for doing this to myself. When I started my new lifestyle 7+ years ago, I felt good about me. I was self-confident. I enjoyed life more. I physically felt better. I am ready to feel that way again. So, I may end this year beating myself up. But, 2014 will see the old me back. I don't make resolutions, but I do set goals. So, here I go....
First goal is to eat better. I start the day out good with a healthy breakfast, lunch is normally a healthy one, too. Supper usually isn't bad. It's the after supper hours that are my downfall. To reach my goal of eating better this year I will work on portion control. No more that looks about right. 2014 is about weighing and measuring my food. 2014 is about no more 'it doesn't count because nobody sees me eating it'. 2014 is about cutting out the eating after 8PM. 2014 is about making these habits again.
Second goal is to get back to my regular daily workouts. Starting the day off with my morning workout at least 6 days per week, but actually going to shoot for 7. Getting back in the habit of an afternoon/evening workout at least 5 days per week. Instead of sitting on my backside watching tv at night, at least 10 minutes of that time will be spent with exercise of some sort, recumbent bike, DVD walk, strength training, etc. etc. Here is a link to one choice I will use while watching TV...
I recently discovered JessicaSmithTV on youtube and love her workouts and they are FREE. I tried the this one earlier this week and decided then for the month of January it will be a workout I will do at least twice per week. I have got to work on my core and this I believe will be a great start...
For the month of January my goal is to do at least a one mile walk with Leslie Sansone or Jessica Smith 5 days per week and a 3 to 5 mile walk one day per week. Here's a link to a good Leslie walk...
and one with Jessica Smith I enjoy...
Third goal for the year will be to spend less time 0n the computer and more time getting organized. I will start working on these, also, in January but will concentrate more on the eating and workout habits first.
Let's go Jane in 2014!
Thursday, July 25, 2013
Yesterday I realized was the first day of my 7th year with SparkPeople. There has been an up time and a down time. When I first joined SP, I had been on a Ďdietí for a couple of months and was having good success. Then I found SparkPeople and my success continued as a lifestyle change. All in all I lost 60 pounds, but I gained so much more. I felt good about myself. I didnít mind looking in the mirror. I learned to enjoy working out, even getting up earlier in the morning to make sure I got in at least one workout. I learned I could workout while watching tv instead of sitting on my backside. I learned to dump the soda and drink water, water, water. I learned to eat more fruits and veggies. I learned to count calories. I learned to keep up with calories in, calories out. I learned a lot. I learned how to eat when we when out. I changed a lot. This and more happened during the up time.
The past couple of years have been the down time, especially most recently. I still know all of what I learned in the up time. Unfortunately, over the past couple of years I have found half of what I had lost. I donít feel good, or as good, about myself anymore. The mirror isnít as good a friend as it was. I still workout at least 5 days a week, starting the mornings with a workout. Being truthful with myself, I know I donít put as much into them as I used to do. Plus, I use to always get a workout in each evening before dinner. If not before dinner, then at night while watching tv. Or both. Lately, the evening and night workouts have disappeared. Oh, I have my Ďexcusesí for this. Yes, I know they are excuses. I do still drink water, water and more water with only the occasional soda. I still eat my fruits and veggies. Unfortunately, I eat too many other types of snacks that have too much sugar in them. Or, instead of the habit of having raw carrots, or similar, when we grilled hamburgers or had some other kind of sandwich I have chips. We have started eating out once a week, unfortunately knowing how to eat when out and doing it are two different things. I still log in my calories in and calories out, but the in is too much and the out is too little.
So, there it is. I know what to do. I have done it before. I know I can do it. I want to do it. I say I am going to get back with the program seriously. So, why donít I? I know this is the question I have to answer for myself. So, hereís to working on that answer. Hereís to a successful 7th year to match the 1st.
HEY YOU, JUST DO IT!
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
I just realized today is the beginning of my 7th year at SparkPeople. That isn't what I came here to write about, first hint I didn't realize it until I noticed it on my Spark page to write this blog. Maybe tomorrow I will write about my successes and disappointments over the past 6 years during my lifestyle change. But, today I am writing to Lucky Bugs.
My Dear Lucky,
Almost to the moment, it has been one week since your physical being left us. One long difficult week. I miss you so much. Last week I wrote abut some of things I would miss now that your physical being is gone. I miss all those things and much more. I miss you lying on the back of my chair as I sit there. I miss you walking across my laptop keyboard, or sitting on it. I miss you showing up from wherever you were in the house when supper is almost ready. This morning when I was in the shower and Daddy stuck his head in the bathroom door as he left for work, I missed him telling you, "you're in charge". I miss you stealing some milk from Daddy's glass of milk.
Your Daddy misses you, too. He has shed his tears for you, as I have. Friday evening as we sat in the car after picking your ashes up, we held the small box and cried. Your Daddy commented, we were taking you home not the way we had hoped but where you belong. Saturday we spent over an hour in a leather store searching for the right piece of leather to make a pouch for you. Yesterday when I came home he was sitting at the table making the pouch. A precious way for him to show how much he loved you.
Your brother and sister miss you terribly. They have both been a bit lost this past week. Sissy has spent a lot of time under our bed. Pilgrim has spent a bit more time downstairs then normal. Neither will go into the back bedroom the three of you shared. Neither has gotten on the cat tower this week. Pilgrim will not jump on the counter where you would eat, even though when you were physically here he had no problem sneaking up there when you weren't looking.
I have heard and seen you a few times this week. Daddy has, too. But, neither one of us as much as Pilgrim has. There has been several times one or both of us has heard the herd of elephants upstairs. You know, that same herd when you and Pilgrim would be playing upstairs. Prissy was downstairs each time, so it had to be you and Pilgrim. What a wonderful sound it is.
I should have been working out this morning when I was writing this. But, I felt the need to get some emotions out this morning. I suppose some may say I am dwelling too much on losing you. But, I can't stop the thoughts of you. I can't stop this hurt I feel, only time will make the hurt lessen, but never go away. I can't keep all these feelings bottled up inside. This is part of my grieving for you. You, my sweet Lucky, were my four-legged best friend. For almost 15 years you were there with me through the good and bad times. You were there to perk me up when I felt down. You made me smile. You made me laugh. You even annoyed me at times, but always in your sweet way. You made me feel loved. I pray you felt the same;. Our home will never be the same without you.
I love you, Lucky Duck!
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
This blog isn't about my journey here with SparkPeople. It isn't about weight loss, but it is about a different kind of loss. It isn't a loss they I celebrate, it is a loss I mourn.
The past couple of months we have been dealing with some health issues with our 14 year old cat, Lucky. There were many times we saw glimmers of hope, times when he acted as though he was improving and on the road to a few more years with us. Yesterday, after a quick downfall in just a little over a day we had to make that decision to end his suffering and begin ours. It was time to think more of him and less of ourselves. Lucky left for Rainbow Bridge a little less than 24 hours ago, yet it seems a lot longer.
Lucky came into my daughter's and my life in November 1998. His full name is Lucky Spencer after the character on General Hospital played by Jonathan Jackson. Melody had a bit of a crush on him and chose the name. We said the name Lucky, also came from he was Lucky to find a loving home with us after he and his siblings had been left outside the mall that had a Humane Society store. Also, the week we adopted him was the week of the Iron Bowl. That year Alabama beat Auburn 31-17 and, of course, that was because Lucky had brought us luck.
A couple of years later, Melody moved to Minnesota and I moved to California. Lucky made the move across country with me. He and D became fast friends. D had never had a cat. It didn't take long for Lucky to turn him into a cat lover. I remember watching them each night playing tag in the living and dining rooms. Lucky would nip D on the leg and run off, D would chase him and tag Lucky and run off, and so on. If Lucky felt attention deprived he would come and nip one or both of us on a leg and continue to do so until one or both of us got up and played with him. He was such a playful thing.
Then we made the move to Washington. We moved into a nice size apartment that, of course, was Lucky's domain. He loved the heat lamps in the bathrooms and would curl up in the sink to soak up the heat and sleep. He loved to be pushed while lying on the desk chair (with wheels) up and down the long hallway. I always knew when D was almost home from work because Lucky would run and sit by the front door and wait for it to open. It wasn't because he had seen D through the window, because he would make his way to the door before D had even pulled in to the parking lot.
In 2004, we adopted Prisscilla and Pilgrim. We had researched how to introduce the two new furballs into our home without too much trauma to Lucky. Well, Lucky, didn't like it at all after all they were in his domain. So, we bought a house. We moved from our 2 bedroom apartment to a 4 bedroom house. I jokingly told people each cat had their own bedroom and I had to share one with D. Once we moved into the house Lucky's attitude towards his new brother and sister changed. He accepted them and grew to love them. The house was his domain, just as the apartment had been. But, he allowed Priss and Pil to share his space. Lucky never weighed over 7 pounds. Priss and Pil, Pil especially, are bigger cats. Priss weighing in around 15 pounds and Pilgrim at 20 pounds. Need I even say which one ruled the roost? Lucky did for sure! But, oh how the three of them played. Oh the times D and I would wonder where the herd of elephants upstairs came from. They played hard, but they rested hard, also. Their bedroom would get sun throughout the day, when the sun would shine here in the PNW. The three of them would be on the bed or floor sharing the space and the sun.
I will miss pulling into the driveway and seeing Lucky in the window. Seeing him jump down to run downstairs to greet me. I will miss his jumping on the cat tower for some me time. I will miss seeing him sit in his chair across the table from me at dinner time. He loved to share our dinners, even up to this last Sunday when we had steak and shrimp. I will miss seeing him curled up with his Eeyore sleeping. I will miss the MEOW he would make when carrying his baby doll in his mouth. I will miss the jingle of the bell and tags on his collar. I will miss his head butts. His Elvis impression. His supervision as I cleaned house. His taking his bath on the bathroom counter as I took a shower. I say I will miss all these things and many more, but I already do.
Lucky may have been tiny, but he had so much love in him. He is loved more then he could ever know. I have a huge hole in my heart that was left by the loss of my beloved Lucky Duck. I know time will heal it. I know eventually I will be able to think of all the wonderful memories he left us with and not cry. But, at this time that seems an impossibility. His physical presence is no longer with us, but his sweet spirit will remain furever.
One more thing for now. Around a year ago I decorated my bathroom with rubber ducks. I used a bath set called Lucky Duck. Most appropriate as that was one of my nicknames I had for Lucky. I decorated a grapevine wreath with ribbon and some rubber ducks. Yesterday when we returned home from the vet, I went in the bathroom and one of the ducks had fallen off the wreath. A sign from my Lucky Duck that he is still with us, you think? I do!
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