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Any man can call time out, but no man can say for how long. (Vonnegut)

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

"I'm taking my time to figure out where I want things in the kitchen. When I'm done, I'll give away what doesn't fit."

When I typed that, nine months ago, I didn't actually intend to take a year to empty the kitchen boxes. Last night I consolidated the last four boxes into two.

It's been a tough year. On January 9 I went to my family practice doctor for what I thought was a sinus infection. I was in a leukemic crisis; it's a miracle I was able to stand up, much less drive there without an accident. I was taken straight to the hospital by ambulance. My red blood cell count was astonishingly low. Neither the EMTs nor the ER doctor would start an IV until I had a blood transfusion, for fear of pushing my hemaglobin, as a percentage of the total blood volume, too low to sustain life.

I ended up in the hospital a total of four times. For the last four months I've been trying to recover from the cancer treatment. The side effects have been so serious that I didn't have to justify to my oncologist why I was refusing further chemotherapy; she had already reached the same decision.

I've been home from the hospital about six weeks, now. I'm just this week beginning to feel safe driving, and I'm doing more for myself.

It's been tough.

  


Downsizing

Friday, September 05, 2008

Sometimes decluttering requires giving up things that you love and that make you smile, but just aren't working for you at the moment.

I'm ruthlessly pruning my SparkTeam participation. I realized tonight that, when I see new SP email notifications, instead of smiling I feel overwhelmed. That's counterproductive.

I'm turning off the new post notification on all teams that I don't lead, and leaving the teams on which I've just never become active.

I wish you all well.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHAPESHIFTER_V 9/5/2008 9:16AM

    Flo, it makes perfect sense! I've done the same thing, and I wish I had explained it so eloquently!
It is imperative to cut out everything that isn't working anymore!
Please - take good care of yourself!

Vicky

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I'm not dead, just tired.

Friday, August 22, 2008

I cannot believe that I've gone nearly three months without a blog entry.

Honestly? I've gone nearly three months checking in only rarely.

It's been a very busy time. I've spent 6.5 of the last 14 weeks in New York, at my sister's, in three separate trips.

I've had an extreme makeover, apartment style, hanging over my head since last November. In eight hours per apartment multiple crews gutted the kitchen and bathrooms, replaced the cabinetry, replace the sinks and faucets, replaced the light fixtures and switches and replaced one ceiling fan.

Preparing for the remodel took more than eight hours. A lot more! I had to empty the kitchen and bathrooms, completely, as if I were moving. I had to clear a 6' wide path from the front door to the kitchen and back bathroom, which required moving the dining room and bedroom furniture and the entire contents of a storage closet. And after the remodel I had to (make that, have to) put everything back. I also have to figure out where to put things, since they changed the configuration of the kitchen cabinets, eliminating four drawers and about 40% of the cabinet space.

The remodel was originally scheduled for February. The date was put off several times. While I was in New York in May I talked with the apartment manager and was told that my apartment would be done, "after August." My sister and I scheduled, and bought tickets for, two more trips. As soon as I returned home I received a notice that my makeover was July 17. emoticon

The leukemia has been getting worse all year. In April my oncologist told me that if my numbers didn't improve by July we'd have to consider "more aggressive treatment," i.e., chemotherapy. The day I left for my first trip to NY I broke a toe. As soon as I got home, three weeks later, I saw my doctor for it. I also asked her to run a CBC to check the status of the leukemia. It had actually improved while I was gone. Then I got the letter.

By the time I saw my oncologist two weeks after the remodel, my "bad" numbers had increased 50% in seven weeks! The only reason I'm not on chemo right now is that we all (both doctors and I) know that the count was inflated by the stress of the remodel and the whopping sinus infection I developed.

So, I'm not on chemo, but I have been much sicker. And tired...relentlessly, overwhelmingly, tired.

So. Where do I stand?

The remodel is over. Done. No more deadline looming over me.

The recovery is not. My dining room furniture is still upside down in my office. My living room is unusable. Half of my kitchen stuff is in boxes in the dining room while I figure out where to put it.

On the other hand, my bedroom and bathroom are fine. My computer is back in its docking station and talking to my peripherals. That was a huge relief. I've had another trip to my sister's; I'm away from the mess, and she waits on me hand and foot. Well, close to it. Two nights ago I put my scrapbooking area back together. I haven't had a place to work in two months.

I'm taking my time to figure out where I want things in the kitchen. When I'm done, I'll give away what doesn't fit.

I'm much more relaxed. I'm getting plenty of rest. This week, for the first time all summer, I'm participating in the produce co-op that I've mentioned. (The dates didn't work with my trips.)

I'm still tired, but I'm on my way back.

Thanks for reading this far! LOL

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHAPESHIFTER_V 8/23/2008 2:31AM

    It's so good to hear from you again, Flo! I was wondering how you were doing...
I'm glad that things are falling back into place for you. It sounds like everything old is new again! Next stop: Good luck with the numbers!
Take care - Vicky

P.S.: I just realized what your title says - lol! Cynical - I love it! No, I didn't think for a moment you were dead! You still have too much spunk!

Comment edited on: 8/23/2008 2:32:44 AM

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Leavin'...

Sunday, June 01, 2008

I just posted an entry explaining my decision to leave the Community Team. The Internet ate it.

This is the short version.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ETERNALMOTHER 6/1/2008 1:05PM

    I had that problem recently. That is a very very short version. LOL Are you staying in the Whole Foods for Health team?

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I'm still here, sort of....

Monday, May 26, 2008

Hi, All!

Been a while....

The morning after my last post I left for New York to help my sister. I didn't realize that I'd have spotty Internet access, and that my email would be messed up. (I can receive but not send.)

I've installed her router now, and my laptop sometimes will talk to it, but we're still very busy with the project that I brought me here, and with visiting family and friends.

My participation here will continue to be hit and miss until I return home. We've already changed my return to give me more time here.

Stay well!

Flo

  


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