Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Okay, I'll start by saying I didn't really diet at the festival. I tried to be very mindful, and I don't think I did too bad, but it is very hard to stick to portion controls when you're eating food from a vendor once or twice a day for three days. Plus, it really doesn't help to have your husband sitting beside you munching on kettle corn. I am pleased to say that I only had a small amount. In the past I have eaten the whole bag.
Don't get me wrong, I know about packing your own food. I spent the whole day previous to our departure making salads to take with us, but it's hard to eat the same things for four days straight. Okay, enough excuses... here's more about the festival.
There were some great bands playing at this one. Little Feat closed on Sunday night. I'm glad I got to see them. Some other bands that you may have heard of that were include Joan Osbourne, Mae Moore, and the Tannehill Weavers. Some even better bands that you may have never heard of, but should check out include The Peatbog Faeries, Annie Lou, Fribo, and The Gertrudes.
One of my favourite things about festivals are all the wonderful vendors. I'm not talking about the food, but all the interesting clothing and crafts that you can't find in a mall. You know how many perfectly slim women out there believe they are fat? (I used to have that problem when I was younger.) Well now I have the opposite problem. Because I've put on about 20 lbs or so in a short amount of time, I actually visualize myself as being slimmer than I am. I keep seeing these wonderful clothes that I know would be flattering for my figure, and then I grab the size medium. Sometimes I'll take a large with me just in case, but I know it's because I don't want to have to ask the skinny clerk girl to grab me a larger size.
For some reason I always try on the medium first. I squeeze myself into their tiny makeshift changeroom; the back of this one was the side of their van, and then I managed to squeeze myself into this beautiful dress. It took some effort, but I managed to do it. I was not happy with the result. For starters, the changeroom was so small that the full length mirror was propped at an angle so that it reflected a close up of my stomach. I had to open the flap and step back to see it. The dress didn't look too terrible, but I was not happy with how I looked. This is where I came to the realization that, "Oh yeah, I look like that right now."
So then I start trying to get out of the dress. What an ordeal. I was worried I was going to rip it. I was worried I was going to have to ask the skinny clerk for assistance. Then I realized I hadn't untied the sash in the back. Whew, but it was still a lot of work from there. Could anyone see my flailing hands and feet above and below this changeroom? Was anyone behind the tinted windows of the van, snickering? I was so upset I didn't even try on the large.
Afterwards, I realized I was not going to purchase a dress with the hopes that I will some day appreciate myself in it. In fact next summer, when I go back to that festival with my new slimmer figure I will have a large selection of great clothes to choose from, and they will be a reward instead of a carrot collecting dust in my closet.
It was at this point that my husband told me how much he likes the dress, and he wants to buy it for me. I couldn't possibly let him do that. I could never let him see how much work it was for me to get in and out of it each time. What was I supposed to do, get changed in the bathroom each time?
So, I found a very lovely silk wrap skirt that he bought for me instead. It will continue to fit me and be flattering at any size.
The one thing I really learned from all this is that I really care WAY too much about what other people, even strangers, think about my figure. So, there's something to work on along the way too. I know that's going to take a while, so I'll be patient with myself.