Monday, October 12, 2009
I've been back from my holiday a while now, but have been avoiding the site!!!
It's silly, I know, but I was feeling ashamed and felt that I had let myself down, and that everyone would think that I was a failure!!!
Before my holiday I managed to lose 6lbs and I had a wonderful time away, I didn't binge or vomit in the 2 weeks I was away and Adam and I didn't want to come home as we had such a spectacular time
Come home we did and I will share the photos this week.
The day after my holiday was when the problems started as I weighed myself........ I put on 9lbs in two weeks. At that point I was still ok, finding reasons for the weight gain.... Water retention, period etc!!!! I couldn't think why it would be so much; I exercised, ate healthily most of the time, so why so much weight gain.
I left it for a few days then weighed myself again.... no change, now I started to panic, feelings of failure and I started to beat myself up and stayed away from the place I would find help!!!!
2 weeks later and I realise how silly I have been and that I haven't been helping myself at all,but facilitating old behaviours, not taking responcibility for my actions and letting my weight get out of control again.
Today I am back and willing to work harder than ever to reach my goals; OK I'm starting right from the begining weight wise, but I have still come along way and I'm ready to continue on my journey :0)
We will all get there x x x x x
Friday, September 11, 2009
Well I've been counting down and today I go on holiday :0)
I'm so excited and just want to finish work and get on that plane!!!
I'm going to be doing my very best to stay on track, but above all realx, find adventure and enjoy myself.
I wish everyone a good two weeks and look forward to talking to everyone when I get back.
Love and Hugs x x x x
Tuesday, September 08, 2009
Only 3 days to go till my first holiday with my Boyfriend.
I can't wait and am so excited. We have meal plans and exercise plans in place and lots of tours planned and places to see.
I'm still feeling a little sore, but have been applying the arnica to the bruises, so hopefully they'll be gone by Friday
I stay hopeful
today I have been thinking about the friends I have made on the site and am grateful for you all.
Some of you I have become quite close to and I'll be taking our friendships on holiday with me to help me give me strength to stay on the right track.
Thank you all x x x x x
Sunday, September 06, 2009
Well my weekend was good, a little too much food, but I'm not depressed about it and know I'll be back to it tomorrow. I have to admit though that I have tracked every mouthfull (something I haven't been doing at the weekend) and was astonished by the amount of calories. My weekends have been my downfall and after traking this weekend have decided it has to stop and I have to curb my weekend eating!!!
Having said that, I go on holiday next weekend, but me and my boyfriend have already been stratigizing and making contingency plans:
1. we are still going to exercise, even if it's just sit ups every morning and playing in the pool.
2. lots of walking!!!
3. eating sensibly... this is going to be the hardest as we are all inclusive and it's a buffet breakfast dinner and lunch!!! We will be helping each other here.
4. lots of water
5. supporting each other :0)
I'm really looking forward to the holiday, I'm now just hoping that the bruises, grazes and sweeling goes away.... I fell down some steps today and am a bit battered to say the least!!!
I'm very lucky for many reasons, for a start I'm lucky to have not browken my neck, or any other part of me.... I was also eating an apple at the time and got a peice enloged in my tonsil, I'm lucky I didn't choke.
I guess when looking at it, it's been a lucky day :0)
Thursday, September 03, 2009
It has been a good couple of days and I feel like I'm making ground again.
Girls night on Wednesday was really good, I ate fruit and a little bit of cake and played Wii. It was a great night and I'm really proud of myself!!!
Today I had a work lunch, where there was baguettes and chocolate.... again I ate sensibly and filled up on fruit..... There was even cake, chocolate and sweeties out for someones birthday and I didn't touch it; I didn't want too eat any of it and enjoyed my fruit today, been eating a lot of it.
Today is a good food day and I'm feeling positive again :0)
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