Tuesday, March 06, 2012
What does 1589 calories mean to you? For some it means they ate too much, for some it means they didn't eat enough. For the more opinionated it means I ate too much. For me it means that I actually stayed within my calorie range for the first time since joining Spark. Nothing more, nothing less. I actually stayed within range. It is a good thing, and I am proud of myself. It also means that I didn't eat after 6:00pm yesterday, that I didn't consume the refined sugars that I usually do, and that I ate a lot more veggies. I chose grilled instead of fried, I brown bagged my lunch, didn't stop for breakfast tacos or pastries, skipped the chocolate milk, and ate plain whole almonds instead of a candy bar for my snack. I also prayed a lot, LOL. That is a pretty good list of non-scale victories. I am still not feeling just jump up and down thrilled about it, but that's okay, as long as I keep on traveling in the right direction one baby step at a time.
Monday, March 05, 2012
So, I have been MIA for a while now, but I am still chipping away at revamping my lifestyle on baby step at a time. The thing is, right now, no matter how awesome the NSV might be, no matter what success I may or may not achieve, this weightloss journey thing sucks at the moment. That is how I feel about it right now. I haven't felt inspired or inspirational for a few weeks. I feel like a bit of a fraud, I try to be upbeat and have a good outlook on this journey, but the upbeat has been beat for the moment, ya know? My scale has not changed because I have not been serious about changing the number on it, and I have taken a workout break. On an better note, I am officially engaged. I got my ring on Saturday and we are getting married in August! It is at the jewelers getting resized and I should have it back tomorrow. I cannot wait to get it back. But, I am getting married, which means a wedding, which means, I need to be more serious than I have been. This little life change has inspired my vain side, there is no doubt that I feel I look better when I am thinner, and I want to feel like I look my best on my special day. Can't say if I will actually succeed, but here is to an honeset effort on my part.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Okay, something everyone should know about me (Because I am so awesome everyone should know, LOL) I am not a Valentine's Day fan. I have never had a Hallmark commercialesque Valentine's Day, and after 30 years I have come to the conclusion that it is the stupidist holiday ever. No offense to those who love it. It is great for kids, they get their little Valentine's card and parties at school, but I think after a certain age it loses its charm for a lot of people. There is the stress of getting the right thing, all the money spent on presents and nights out, worrying about if you forget, the drama that ensues if you do forget, etc. Not to mention the copious amounts of sweet, chocolately, fattening treats that flow freely during this time. I personally believe that it is better to do special things for your loved one throughout the year rather than save it all up for one day out of the year. I see that it is a holiday that causes discord, setting up unrealistic expectations, at least in my experience, because I have been one of those women with high Valentine's day expectations that were dashed. Send you significant other flowers to the office in the middle of the week for no reason. Have a special favorite dinner cooked for that special someone on a day when they least expect it. Surprise your other half with a spa day, or a tee time at their favorite golf course, or whatever would be really special, during a non-love holiday infested month. Don't wait for a icky sweet holiday to roll around.
Friday, February 10, 2012
Didn't want to do my strength training this morning, y'all. Didn't want to at ALL. Every fiber of my being was set against it. "After all", the couch potato devil on my should said, "It's Friday, take a break. One little break won't hurt you". I wanted to listen to that little couch potato voice so badly (You know, for a couch potato, that little devil is extremely active, isn't he?) But, the thing is, there was no excuse for a break today. I am not ill, I am not injured, I am not in the middle of anything that requires all of my attention with out fail. So I did my strength training, all of it, and even if Iwasn't really feeling the desire today, I still feel awesome that I got it done.
Wednesday, February 08, 2012
I lost some emotional weight yesterday. Blogging about my stressors really seems to have helped me, I feel lighter, happier. It is amazing how things will start to weigh on you after time.
I wish I had something profound to say, but nothing is sparking in my mind right now. Bottling things up is never good, it is something I struggle with. I tend to have a weakness toward what I call Atlas Syndrom, I feel like I HAVE to carry the world on my shoulders all the time. No one can help me, I have to do everything. Work full time, school full time, clean house, raise children, cook, exercise, lose weight, all alone. Of course, the reality is that doing EVERYTHING alone really isn't feasible, and what ends up happening is people and things start to get neglected. Don't ask me to set down the world, don't ask to help me carry it, I have to do it all, regardless of the fact that it is obvious that it can't all be done by just me. Y'all, it is an exhausting little place I have built for myself. It is a hard thing to learn to lean on others, but I am slowly learning that lesson.
I grew up feeling like the world carrier. I am sure my parents didn't intend for this to be my reality, but in my little mind that is how it felt. If I didn't do it, it didn't happen, and I find that it is a hard feeling to shake. However, I am 30 years old, I have Christ, a home and family of my own, and I have to lay down that old, dysfunctional me and move on. Holding on to what I was will not move me forward to the better things in store for me. I wish it was so easy to lay it all down and move forward. The mental struggle hammers at me again, LOL.
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